DElizabeth

DElizabeth Jul 2023

s i c k

twisted staircase
much like my mess of a mind

are you sick of me yet?...

i don't know how you feel
about me
but i want to be myself
with you

i want to try

i don't know how you feel
about us
but i want to try
to know what it's
supposed to feel like

what is it supposed to feel like?...

this "healthy love"
they speak of
as they tell me
not to do this
not to say that
never to share this
and definitely not that...

because
that's how i'll lose you...

are you sick of me yet?

will you be soon?

will you be then?

will you ever be sick of me
and will you tell me if you are?...

DElizabeth Jul 2023

b e s t . f o r . y o u

.
maybe it's
best for you
to stay away
from me . . .

you'll hear
what she thinks
until you
believe it yourself

maybe she's right,
maybe it's
best for you
to stay away
from me . . .

maybe, just maybe
if you know what's
best for you,
you'll see the difference
and keep your distance

maybe they're right,
maybe it's
best for you
to stay away
from me . . . "
.

listen for the best . . .

DElizabeth Jul 2023

k n o w n . l o v e

.
i haven't known
a "healthy" love,
and when i have
i think that i ruin it.

or maybe i have known it
all along but
only recognize the
"unhealthy" as "normal"

so we push away what's
good for us
in order to stay
not with what feels right...
but with what feels
familiar...

with what's
comfortable,
even if it hurts.
.

DElizabeth Jul 2023

n o r m a l

.
"and i don't know
maybe i'm fine
and i'm not used to it
and so i make myself feel bad
just to feel a sense of
" n o r m a l "
.

what was i made for? ~b.e.

DElizabeth Jul 2023

you were

just because i don't talk to you
doesn't mean i don't think of you...

darling, i need you to know just one thing...

i need you to know that you were perfect...

i need you to know that you were always enough for me...

darling, i need you to know that you were always the only one...

i need you to know that you were it for me...

you made my world turn upside down when i met you

you made my world pause when i had you

and my world burst into flames when you left...

darling, you need to know that i will never not care for you...

the fire we had the fire we were

i need you to know that there's no way i could forget how it was...

i wanted to be your everything... nothing more...nothing less.

i will never not think of us when i hear those songs...

maybe one day i'll be able to dance to them instead of mourn...

i will never not want to send you that photo or share with you that exciting thing that just happened or tell you that funny joke i just heard or ask you if you got home okay...i'm going to want to share it all with you...

but i know that you have to go...

i've kept you close in the corner of my pocket, but i know you have to go...

i know you have to go...

i wish you didn't have to...

but i know you have to go...

darling, i need you to know just one thing...

i need you to know that you were perfect...

i need you to know that you were always enough for me...

darling, i need you to know that you were always the only one...

i need you to know that you were it for me...

darling, i need you to know that you were perfect...

7/22/23

DElizabeth Jul 2023

TOURIST

PRIVATE TERRITORY.

i gave warning signs...

BEWARE OF RUMORS

i trusted i wouldn't have to issue fines...

the lines i drew,

were the same ones you crossed.

i said i would tell you what's true,

but it looks like curiosity got the best of you.

you should have asked me

before you ran to her.

you don't know me

and neither does she

and i will not be the opinion of someone who doesn't know me.

stories are stories.

sides are sides.

pick & choose, you have nothing to lose...

you could have tried to make it fair, at least.

this narration was never up for LEASE...

paint me with your palette, but i will never, EVER be your masterpiece.

DElizabeth Jul 2023

from down here

i cuffed
my hands
& accepted
my fate to a
self-made
rain rusted
ball & chain

i look up
as pollution saturated
droplets fall
& decorate
my face

no longer
able to
differentiate
tears from
rain

this hole
i dug,
this grave
i dug
i squint to find
the skylight

the same
s
p
i
r
a
l
swirling
reeling
falling
sloping
looming
glooming
d
o
w
n
down, down . . .

tossed the key
and broke
the ladder
to pieces
like you once
did to my
love-swollen
heart.

nails
caked with
mud from
trying to
climb & claw
my way back up

it's dark down here,
it's familiar here...

it's dark down here,
it's comfortable here...

escape plans
lurk & await
my attention...
but you
is all i'll
plot
from down here.