Whenever she speaks I can't
help to be amazed, by whatever
it is that she just phrased. Clever
in words and clever with timing.

Climbing higher every sentence,
further every word
and there is no clue of her intentions.
Not a purpose I have heard.

In doubt I put things in perspective
and I realize that doubting was
unnecessary.  I am no detective
collecting everything she does.

I wish I was able though,
to do so,
and be a fitting other side
for whom she has nothing to hide.

I need to buy
soft but steady
I'm not ready
to tell the salesman what I want
to make an order
to answer the man in the recorder.

I took for granted, granted that I was not aware,
appearing obsessed with such kind of flair
that I did not even dare
to say
who I really am.

How you gently caress
each string
in your only dress
under his wing.

I've stopped working,
caring.
Failure is always lurking,
daring
what I never could.

My center, made of wood,
when burns
never returns.
You're left with ashes.

Your eyelashes,
your fingers,
all created lingers
and I never know for sure.

I guess that's how you lure
one man or another,
one of them being me,
as I see, you could be
the mother, bearing.

So I can revive caring
as an endless motion
in my wooden guts, my core.
You, bearing, three or four
as the door shuts
and you leave your instrument
behind.

I don't want to be tangled again,
after hours of untangling, imprisoned
by my future, released by memories
of better times. Time spent, right or wasted.

There will never be enough. Drifting by
or speeding, ended on the same spot, held,
cracking nails and biting codes, loads of time
left, still, never ever will there be enough.

Moving on, different girl, different place,
same friends, different ways. Learning from
my past, still repeating mistakes. The stakes
were never too high, too frightened to try.

Hold me close, hold me long, intending to,
if not, leave, don't return, like these seconds.

-wasted

Living for the future
to once live without a care,
it's a complicated suture
when you might not make it there.

You roam my mind in shower,
as foam, you wash me. When drunk
you ferociously devour my night
with your sudden disappearance.

You weren't meant to stay, is what
I tell myself. My physics exam is a lot
like you, I thought I knew, but failed.
But I turn pale and my teacher helps me
out.

As seasons, as trains or cars, as blind wars,
you've passed and taught me one thing new,
the essence of a song is different with you.

Unorganized messes, god blesses those
like you. Deeply structured, so complex,
all in contact, she slowly and certainly wrecks

Cover me like the veil of whiteness, warm.
Hold me, so vulnerable, yet free of harm.
I'll kiss you, may my mourning lips charm
straight to where your feelings swarm.

Come outside, with me and gaze upon
Come away with me and wander through
The land, the sky, the clouds, the grass.
Dazzling dreams of talking endlessly.

Close your eyes and trust my voice.
Let's conclude this affair with final sayings.
End the night of impulsive choice.
And decline the ways of sudden swayings.

Floating foam like memories,
your eyes they roam,
the rest is perfectly still.
A breeze, so chill,
your breath,
focus, inhale, exhale,
hands and feet are pale.
The melody lingers in the back,
the tension is a code to crack.

It requires skill to feel,
deeply, real, carefully
open the seal, reel
off. Off course and sail
away from todays tale,
like foam, floating, like memories.

Treinen rijden hier al lang niet meer.
Op de bank van dit station leest
niemand nog de krant,
slaat niemand nog een praatje,
geeft niemand nog een hand.

De sporen zijn verroest, de pannen weggewaaid.
Alles staat hier stil.

Het blijft luguber om te zien
*** iemand die het niet verdient
zo vlotjes kan vergaan,
zonder enigszins gekraai
van eenderwelke haan.

Ooit sta ik misschien op dat perron
en wou ik dat ik alles lang geleden had gezegd,
toen ik nog niet wist wat maar het wel nog kon.

Once the smoke hits the lungs and
you picture it hand in hand
with the sight of her adorable gaze,
you know you'll be in trance for days.

Merely laughter, merely the exchange
of looks and guesses feels strange
enough to question if this is what you
live for, what you were made to do.

Love her, fiercely but quietly, quite
lovely, fairly touched and very bright,
make her know she is worth the fight.

Was it ever more than certain, like this,
the things you hated, the flaws created,
will turn into the greatest that you'll miss.

Een blondje,
niet gevallen,
niet haar mondje?
Een brunetteje in een flatje
dat een zetje
nodig heeft
of een verzetje om haar te vertellen dat ze leeft?

Een roetje, roet en zwartje
met een zoeter peperkoekenhartje
of een harde met een oom en tante,
muts en ovenwanten
en een sjaal om te verbergen
dat ze last heeft van constante
onzekerheden die door merg en
lijf en leden?

Een lieve, die me troost
en ik mag troosten.
Een zachte die om me lachen kan,
zicht heeft op haar werk en kroost
en ik mag kroosten.
Maar wat wil je dan?

By the long and well-filled days
by the muddy disconnecting ways
at stars, at waves, at wind, blowing
at children, unaware of growing.

Days go by unnoticed, the distance
is not our enemy, it's fear itself who
grips the lie we call decisions.

Only if you make my insides rot
and I die from therein out, you'll
know for sure to miss me.

Goeie avond nostalgie,
wat fijn dat ik u zie, zien
mag. Sinds FIFA veertien
lag ik al aan uw voeten,
fijn dat ik u mag begroeten.

Vanavond gaan we drinken,
tuimelen, duiken, vallen, zinken
in een zee van liefde voor elkaar.
Eenmaal, andermaal, niemand bezwaar?
Dan leg ik mezelf in de watten,
vanavond gaan we boiten.

Iedereen weet precies beter
waar ze heen gaan met *** tijd.
Ik was vroeger vooral een zweter
en zie nog te vaak niet wat ik mijd.

Het lijkt of ik de aarde
onder eigen voeten
te lang heb verwaterd
in plaats van erin te wroeten
heb ik maar wat getaterd.

Doe ik alsof of zij.
Mag ik ook ooit
januari
in plaats van augustus, maart of mei.

Het lijkt zielig wat je voelt,
toch zie ik wat je bedoelt.

Beetje gieten, beetje wachten
tot geduld de grond uit woelt.

Ik heb moeten redeneren,
mezelf overtuigen, verweren
tegen het idee, het venijn,
de gedachte dat ik dokter zou willen zijn.

Iedereen is deze week afgestudeerd,
het blad nog warm, arm al in de lucht,
kijk eens allemaal, een diploma klucht.
Het staat erop en iedereen begeert

jouw geweldige prestaties, knuffel, zoen.
Het leven bolt verder en ik moet kaka doen.

Healthy is a different word.
It does not help the living.

Healthy is a strong word.
It does not suit the giving.

Being raised by people, risen,
it's a gift to those uncertain,
a curse to others, cut off,
by unspreading, closed curtain.

I wonder when
We never got to see the sun
I wonder how long
It's pathetic
It's wrong
Ecstatic

I wonder when it's gone
You're done
I know
I may be letting go
of my affection

For a reason
Call it treason
It was real
I had no control
Only goals
To reach before winter

I know it will
It's the when I worry
Still
No one needs this
Middle nor end
No beginning
Close to winning
The world, the parting

I remember when we exchanged our dreams
Yesterday
It seems so long ago
Since you went your way
Did I really do enough
To chase the thoughts away
Did I really try to make you stay

All there is to believe
Useless drama
To make you leave
To make it easier
I wonder why I grieve

I tell myself to care less
about losing to someone else
and start winning for myself.
The biggest treasure a man can find
is sudden knowledge of his own relief
and elation, happiness, money or relation
or the broken being benching by brothers before baffled
station.

From miles away he's spotted,
unlike the scheme he's plotted.
He sips, looks down and back at you,
compelling eyes, holding stare,
he asks you if you dare,
dare to be true
to yourself.

He slid his hands into your being,
saw all you were but weren't seeing,
grabbed your honesty by the collar
to show your purest colour,
secretly, he wishes you to be
all you ever wanted.

Smoothly, charismatically, he made you meet
your maker, leave open your seat
for the perfect taker.
As he walks away, with pride,
knowing you have got nothing left to hide,
you tremble, assured no man will ever resemble
the one you've witnessed at work tonight.

I've seen and heard,
enjoyed and purred
at the stories of old,
the silence of mold.

I've folded and weaved,
gently miscleaved,
broken and barren,
answered to Charon.

My bed is too small
and my rope's a bit tight.
I bring justice for all,
even just for one night.

It's been so long, my love, since
I have longed for love like I did with you.
As lonely as the dog that guards the sheep
as shallow as myself, I weep.

For distant times and future rhymes.
My life is nothing more than just another
and I'm scared it'll turn out to be true.

I took you off the pedestal where you lived
I want you back but you're too heavy to lift.

Outcomes used to rule,
inconvenience smiled,
they reconciled in the unsafety
of a pool, used me as a tool.

Eager, desperate for compatible
masses, as time passes
in this changing state.

Games, denied of their existence,
yet with undoubtable resistance
against persistence took away
the passion solely based in joy.

Less indifferent, less feels different,
as familiar as insistent.
The cold wind gripped my arms and shoulders,
the lights surrounding one place
made all else seem darker.

Uncharted territory, mapped by my discovery,
leading my recovery
in a revolution, instead of towards solutions.

In growth we see, what it meant to be
together, assessing, analyzing the
lost familiarity.

I saw you multiple times before,
now, all I need has become to see you more.

Why did I drive a car that day?
And you must never hear me say
that I  used to drive a cab for money.
Even once, that moment, less sunny.
I slipped, derailed and was the origin of hurt.

His cane was useless after that.
And I drove all night to hush
my means. Never did I think I'd rush
away from such occurrings.

She's up there somewhere,
's been there for quite some hours,
quite some time. What I'd give and do
to be able to climb in next to you.

I jumped from branch to branch,
broke twigs, snapping, gazed at leaves, trapping
eyes, gliding through the air beneath our tree.
I made it to the hanging swing.

We sat there, for days it seemed,
we went back and forth,
forever, I had dreamed,
for always I wished.

I walked back through our backyard,
head tilted downwards, staring at the card
I once forgot to mail, it read:
You may be the one I want to wed.

My mind is mapped, regretful
were you trapped
in regions with less much ado
therefore I say goodbye to you.

I fell from stairs, at once I reached the ground.
My expectations, full of bruises, left me mesmerized,
when I saw my skin intact,
I knew what my prediction lacked.

I made no sound, my mouth kept shut,
a lot was taken in, a lot also was not.
The pain, however insufferable it may have seemed,
had all at once again redeemed beyond what I had dreamed.

My life had changed by change I do still fear
yet no longer do I stare excessively
at the fear that still resides inside of me.

To make a change, engage.
To make you feel secure in whatever that you wage.

I vow to tell and speak instead of hide and seek.
To love and to forget whenever you let
me down, I vow to always be a clown.
I vow to be a kid and playful if I can.
I vow my vows are too much for me to handle,
but I vow I'll try to keep even if I don't know how.

I vow to be the better man.

Now I lost and don't have you any-
more, things are different, bad kind
of changes emerge in my pitiful mind.
He can't refrain himself from you, can he?

I know he'll try and if he does fail, bail
him out of the prison she locked him in.
Throw her grip and your feelings in a bin,
they're useless pieces tied together, forced

but not fitting. I am fearing for the worst
to happen. Cause she is not your holy grail
neither your reason to be pale, there are some
different things going on inside that little boy.

Soon nothing will be left, he will be his own decoy.
This feels so much better than the former emptiness of numb.

Ik heb zelf niemand verloren.
Waarom heeft hij te klagen,
zal je vragen. Wel, ik wil luisteren
zodat een ander jouw verhaal kan horen.
Van mij mag jij dat roepen zo hard je zelf wil
of lichtjes in mijn oren fluisteren.

Ik voel dan met je mee, ik wil dat samen dragen.
Daarmee dat het soms, in fracties van, begint te knagen.

Ik weet dat dat niet echt hetzelfde is,
zo simpel is dat zeker niet.
Daarom, echter, dicht ik toe.
Meer dan dat kan ik niet geven,
Ik hoop dat ik zo voor iemand anders,
misschien één mensenleven,
toch iets goed doe.

Om het onbreekbare te breken,
dagen die zo vastgelopen leken
opnieuw te bewandelen.
Om onderweg ongeziene dorst te laken en
zo hopelijk sommige zaken
terug los te kunnen maken.

Om het ongeziene op te merken,
samen te zien en weg te werken,
weerspannige stroefjes
of kale plekken te doen verdwijnen,
in losse proefjes en of strakke lijnen.

Als ik maar ergens helpen kan
dan mag je dat aan mij vertellen.
Misschien kunnen we het onheil vellen
of ermee leren leven.
Meer dan dat kan ik niet geven.

Voor mij is dat het waardevolste wat er bestaat,
elke dag een goede daad.
Zo wil ik laten begrijpen
dat jij altijd in mijn hand mag knijpen
wanneer de pijn weer toeslaat.

Ik wil helpen dragen,
in deze vorm, geschreven,
want meer dan dat
kan ik niet geven.

Similar shapes, creating a way right
through the mass of other similarities.
This evening soon will turn into night
leading to a whole bunch of hilarities
I stare at you, to notice you're already
looking. A warm and generous state
creates his own path. Is she going steady,
coming closer, every step, a step too late.

I'm leaving, she is heaving through the
mass. I'd have loved her, I guess,
and the staring, it's all part of the game.
If only I had caught her name.

Starlight makes sense,
cleaning up the lense,
gathering pens and revelations,
gaining healthy expectations.

Escape, with music, escape
out into the wild, the outdoors,
festivals and party floors,
take leaps, put tape
on your tent to fix it
or buy a new one.

I want to go
wherever our minds take us
wherever your mind may take me,
hold you, don't forsake me
now for my mistakes,
gather all our feelings
at lakes, in letters, in notebooks,
far from crooks, fantastic beasts, looks and hooks.

It took you to save me
not me to save her,
concur
and explore with me these fields
explore what our connection yields,
read me, my words, read me, my birds
are free to fly to thee
I am what you want me to be.

Als alles door elkaar loopt,
blokkeert mijn zicht.
Dan zie ik bowlingbanen zonder hekjes
en straten zonder licht.
Ik rem aan sporen zonder bomen.
Want alles lijkt gevaarlijk,
zoals plassen in je dromen.

Alles wordt een risico.
Niemand weet wat kan of werkt.
Soms word je dan nat wakker,
heb ik in mijn jeugd gemerkt.

The one horse no one wants to ride
the one piece of fruit, so beautiful inside
that no one wants to eat. Always about
me, why not someone else this time?

Listen to me whine, listen to my fears.
People see me as a rotten apple, am I
as bad as soap for dinner, mixed with
onions just to make me burst out into tears.

Tears that make me see, shut my mouth
and see, though the sight is blurred, why
the king of running sometimes falls. Climb
untill you could fall, as high, as no one could.

Yesterday I've learned something I should
have learned a while ago, I understand the myth.

If I can't talk anymore, stranger,
more like a stranger than before,
I think she thinks I'm like a bore,
a way to fill the time, no danger.

My mouth is full of food I can not
let through, my eyes are feasting on
this buffet that seems, growing, drawn
perfectly, but now it starts to rot.

It was a picture, an image, the food
is not to be eaten, it's taste is disappointing,
set to ruin my late night or morning mood.

Infinity is not enough, let me be right,
you make me lose might, only pointing,
and I will fight, with or without light.

Zacht is het om met voorbedachte rade
toen al te denken aan ingehaalde schade.
De voorspelling van gisteren is nooit
voor mij van toepassing geweest,
geen kans op centreren of op voorhand leren
wat dan morgen soms geneest.

Het effect is negatief en twee dimensioneel,
de grafieken zijn me eventjes te veel.
Denk dus later al aan het gevolg
van mislukte schattingen.

De beste kerst heeft licht gevroren,
zilveren glinsterballen om de oren
van de takken van de bomen.
Wat ben jij groot geworden,
moeder, neef en nicht en oom.
We drinken koffie na het eten,
doen ons best niet te vergeten
dat we nog moeten rijden,
wetende dat we op de simpelweg
elkaar met gezelligheid kunnen verblijden.

De beste kerst is verdraagzaam, traag,
ondanks periodes zonder elkaar.
De beste kerst is nu, een beetje al vandaag
en een beetje uitkijken naar die van volgend jaar.

Elke zoveel tijd dezelfde fluctuatie.
Vandaag last, morgen bezorgen over
overmorgen weer wat gisteren al was.

Soms enkel naar beneden, dan eens
plots omhoog en schaars iets raars, pal
temidden. Dan moet mama even bidden.

Eerst het schaap, dan de wortel, dan het
schaap, dan de wolf en dan het schaap.
Ik ben gewoon zo, eerlijk, recht voor de raap.

We vertrouwen veel te comfortabel
op de waterdichtheid van de boot.
De ene helft geweldig, de ander middenmoot.

When the sky is blue, not a single cloud to spot
you have to look carefully, patiently and attentive
Just a second of losing your grip and another star
has fallen behind your back. waiting is the key.

Important producers of light making life slightly
better. A night with stars is more beautiful than
anything I can imagine. Bright gleams, waves
of smooth warmth from the outside within.

A star just made a move, not sure though, but
I desperately need some falling stars. Stars
falling, raining down on me, I desperately need.
So every small move is an important one for me.

They will never give up their spot, just for others
Never when I'm looking, I'm going to bed.

I keep walking on the pathway that is life
dreaming of every girl that gives a simple sign.
I know I cannot have her, yet I want her to be mine
Even though we've never even met each other.

The connection, only I seem to notice it
And every evening on my bed I sit
crying like a little girl that lost her mother
And I try so hard not to bother.

It makes no sense, but there she is
on the other end of the hallway this
happens without thinking, just staring.

She turns around, her eyes, so godlike and divine
in a glimpse my thoughts and Orpheus' align.
I wish I could make you my wife.