Why do we hope when we should do?
Because, we are afraid, I'm telling you,
scared of growing up, not too happy with
time running out, with the future, like the
words that leave our mouth, time cannot be
reversed, time is a thing, to help us measure, cursed.

I keep walking on the pathway that is life
dreaming of every girl that gives a simple sign.
I know I cannot have her, yet I want her to be mine
Even though we've never even met each other.

The connection, only I seem to notice it
And every evening on my bed I sit
crying like a little girl that lost her mother
And I try so hard not to bother.

It makes no sense, but there she is
on the other end of the hallway this
happens without thinking, just staring.

She turns around, her eyes, so godlike and divine
in a glimpse my thoughts and Orpheus' align.
I wish I could make you my wife.

Teach me, singer.
Teach me, lover.
Teach me, teacher.
Teach me, clover.

To sing about love,
to learn about luck.
Teach me to be
whoever I wish to.
However not to be alone...

I'll learn that on my own.

always together, freaky, phalanx formation,
pretty eyelashes, perfect natural eyebrows, all kinds
and shades of brown involved, some blond.

They use their pinkies to make a promise,
hold eachothers hair when sick, laugh and giggle
at the same boys and support the choice of men.

Either way I cannot say, are they paper, are they
stone? Each and every one, sitting on a massive throne,
getting most of what they want because they're symmetrical.

Who are they really, why are they doing this, does no one care?
Don't hate me for trying to be sweet, thoughtful. Don't make
up a person to link with me, cause that's not me. I didn't do it either.

I'm just guessing, just thinking, just staring, forgot blinking,
when you walked by, pressure's rising, tension building and
my head is bustling, everything all at once and then it stops.

I don't know any of you really.

How can I or my body crave
you or your attention so very grave
When I have not even said more
than the simplest greetings while your

skin has not even met mine in ways
I would imagine. It is not you
who is my most desire, it is only
the image my mind prepares

But if it truly were you in person
that would travel further than
my mind could be, far beyond all

I ever could imagine, my only fear
is that the distance between us is even
greater than the distance I could run.

Ze deden het al voor de letters,
voor op *** tijd.
Men noemde ze ketters,
het was schijnbaar in strijd
met alles wat ze kenden, wisten,
zonder te weten dat ze zich vergisten.

With every loss he builds another wall
with every downbeat he beats himself up
with every song he adds he cries and lies all
will be fine.

He says he will not, knows he isn't, heard she doesn't,
the glass through which you look at me is made of pity,
the shoes I wear are less witty, my comments on ways.

I could walk an eternity of infinities, times ahead of
plans, working, divided by the times I've mocked myself,
nothing left.

Ik heb een duidelijke taak gekregen,
gisteren de glazen zitten legen,
verlegen toch in bed gelegen
vanwege de wegen die doorwegen
op mij en mijn zin zit tegen.

Begin dan toch gewoon,
laat al de rest maar vallen,
begin nu eindelijk,
alles is toch tijdelijk.

Ik heb me erachter gezet,
goed opgelet, ik weet het,
't is een leugen, een klucht.
Ik ben dan toch begonnen
al was het met een diepe zucht.

Bearded, hairy, pimpled fairy,
repulsive, obnoxious, loud and anxious,
daring, daunting, sweating, crying,
lying and prying
to get the details out,
presumptious, precautious yet nosy,
bossy, knowing it all and showing it all.

Dancing for no apparent reason,
same for singing,
showering, caring and pairing.
Associations big or small,
drama at the mall,
glances, waves and smiles
helping others with piles
of work, with quirk.

Strong, fierce, succesful beings, kind
with deep eyes, steep noses, cheeks
and jaws, able to cut glass,
a freakishly tight, yet humbling behind
or ***.

Adventurous, spontanious, loving
and watching and staring and matching
catching every voxel, every pixel, every line
or dot
or just a couple or just one or not.

Full, sizeable or rather small, yet kissable lips
or standing tall, bizarre
symmetry, bigotry, whining and ambitiously
becoming a truer version of what you
think you are.

It's fair to say I need you
but out of sight means out of mind
I can't be the one who's left behind.

I'll never know what to do
If you don't tell me what you want
I can't
just wait, just be, I need to know
where it is you want to go.

I could have kept on asking
You could have kept on masking
what you wish for in this life.

Five vague no's for all my tries
while one clear one could suffice.

Love is when you start wearing clothes more often
because she said they looked good on you.

It's when you wash your hair with the same
shampoo everyday, she said it smelled good

When you leave a seat open, next to you,
you know, just in case.

It's never the case.

I'd rather keep losing the battles for love
Than never be able to love at all.

I like to be the dreamer, gathering hope
from a certain distance, it soothes me

It suits me.

He made a checklist,
raised his fist
and yelled.

As he coloured the boxes,
as he checked off the lines
he'd finished, he diminished
his life to separate stars
and lost the constellation.

The routes aren't hindered and blocked,
the day is bright, not a door is locked,
but we stay inside, we keep it warm,
far away from pleasure, from harm,
done by watching nature's prize winners,
marked with a name like a sinners.

Frightening first dinners, first phases, stages
before love, times of uncertainty and pages,
filled with risky bets and treatening wagers.
Talk to me, stop talking, care, stop caring,
doing things I never said myself to be daring.
Impulse by passion or handling with quick notions,
the fearless, fiercely feeling of certain emotions,
those I hoped on whilst creating.

If things are right, no fear involved, I dread
the loss of everything I once thought I had,
while it was just simple dating.

In vain, I lived, in vain I'll die, waiting.

In the midst of rings they danced.
At night, when grey with all its might takes over.
In fog and mist and smoke and clouds,
at places surrounded by mossy trees and crows in crowds,
the cornerless figure of nature grows.

I saw them.
They were as in trance.
I fled because I didn't know their dance.

Ik ben een leeg bed, leg je neer,
bedrijf iets zot,
vervul mijn lot.

I am an empty bed, come lie with me
and fulfill my destiny.

Thank god, it's raining, I like the sound of it.
It's raining in my mind and in my soul,
There is nothing I can do to make it stop
I guess I'll just accept the fact, it will keep raining.

I can hide all my fears and tears, my loneliness
and all things I ever messed up in life. I cannot
even hear myself thinking with this rain, little drops
not dripping like leaves fall, but with impact, like bombs.

All of a sudden there is something at my window.
4 o' clock at night, sleeping difficulties keep me from
my dreams, dreams my conscience told me
I'll never understand.

When I take a look outside I notice something,
searching right next to the big difference, not finding
the actual one. It may have stopped raining here, but
somewhere else it still is. It's always raining somewhere.

Heads are getting turned,
cliques and bridges lining
up to one by one be burned.
As a fan of fine wine and dining,
Tommy's witches are cursed yet eaten
by b*tches, fighting each other,
boxing, punching to bother,
lunching till everyone is beaten.

Let's celebrate the ending, you're leaving,
the bonds you're bending, bonds conceiving.
Deceivingly easily yet not at all,
please tell me you're going to call
some time, somewhere in a hotel in France
where we'll share a first and last,
a chance to change the past.

It's strange how I, I know.
It's strange how you, we know.
Just go.

Getting up after
is worse than the fall
people are staring,
tomorrow they'll call
me loser or failure,
no, not out loud,
but I see them thinking,
afraid of the crowd,
this guy has fallen,
why sure I am glad
that it wasn't me
bruising my ankle or
wounding my knee.

Snapping, bopping her lips
with her precious fingertips.
Blushing when she notices
that I noticed she
was different.

I smile, she giggles, roughly
scanning other presences,
to spot that I
am different.

Later on she lost attention
harshly breaking tension
with her unsure eyes.

She confronted me
with reality.

Ik geloof dat gaandeweg de wereld kan
gered, woorden
zonder zingen, los van lopen, min de moorden
die men eerder heeft erkend als toen en dan
het enige dat oplosbaar kan.

Er is niet niets, er is wel wij,
Eris zoveel van ons.
raad maar zottie,
't is ons lottie
om te kletsen op zondagnamiddag
met een koffie en een koek,
tis in eenvoud dat het hoort
behalve als wat anders jou bekoort.

Kies maar
denk ook aan de anderen.
Of *** je alles in een posi+ieve zin
kan veranderen.

Things I deemed irreplaceable,
choices, acts, unexplainable,
words and sightings,
breath taking lightings
on a statue under cloth.
My sloth got the best
of me, my eyes the rest.

I took you in and let you touch me
get me, see me, you were holding
every string, pulling ever so slightly,
making me dance, making me sing.

I forgot how we were equally the same
I removed the drapes much too late,
the statue had gotten into a rotten state,
decayed, nothing stayed except its frame.

Pedestals, forged without a sound,
rose and carried you up towards the stars,
where you belonged, where all could see.
Yet as you went, I frowned,
my dreams fought wars
with the harsh reality.
And I begged of you to show your face,
return to the ground or leave no trace
behind, my mind devoured beauty
as if it was breakfast, as if it was his duty
to make things up and mourn the loss
of any unimagined creature to come across
this lonesome land.

With a rope in hand
we seek perfection,
instead of growing,
fill the void with thought
to end up throwing
art in bins, for nought.
When we get caught
for all our sins
that's when actual love begins.

Where do I go, what can I do,
is this what's supposed to
be happening or is it a state
of confusion blinding my faith?

I can't wipe all these question marks
away, I am not gifted by sparks
to lead my way, I am not all knowing
but hoping you could stay, going

to every place, hoping to find you,
trying to seal the hopes in cages,
behind and in bars, betting wages,
deal the cards, I feel lucky tonight.

Nothing for today, but everyday
for your hand I'll stride and fight.

Out there, you are somewhere
and some day I will meet you.
When that moment will be there
the garden that is my life will
grow full of pretty flowers and
the glass that is my life will
start being filled with liquids
of emotions.

For now I'm just an empty room where
once there stood a chair and once there
was a cat. I've tried filling up that room
so many times, carelessly. Emptying it
afterwards with former regrets that are
still fading away. I've learned a lot, regretting.

I am sure to meet you, maybe soon.
But I regret to inform you that untill
then I must try to fill up that room, for maybe
I will meet you without knowing.

I am an empty bed,
come lie with me
and fulfill my destiny.

We are all, in need of drama
searching for the most tense appearance
in a denser panorama.

I'm afraid of raising my own family
I have so much control
You can point your actions
to turn them in a better actor
for every single role.

We lack, he approves
we try to fill it up with empty moves
to make a better sound
to fake and turn around
the actions that we found.

We are conditioned like a hound
to work for a treat, deeds for conformation
and create an unreal feeling of elation.
Survival of the fittest influence leads
to hallucinating that this is right to do.

An illusion most complex,
so deeply structured, in a way
it wrecks and causes constant disarray.

All ******* in ropes and knots,
strapped to gifts and lots
of feelings, peeling further beyond
tolerable pain to be this eagerly fond
of what our images are giving us.

You parked your bus,
put up your shields,
I have no idea what your intention yields
yet I miss you
and security.

I wish things were certain or at least the next step,
You know yours but I'm unclear about my rep.

This morning
was a fest of sun and rays
and beams and plays.

This mourning
is not some thing that pays
my pain slays
me whole
a hole
where my perseverance used to be.

I never wanted to accept acceptance
but in where I stand right now
I feel darker than a crow.

It was my own doing
to think I thought it would be freeing
seeing you leave.

My heart is frozen but I don't need drama.
It's my sole issue
that I miss you.

In frogs, in pizza, in windows and wine
I can only keep proclaiming I am fine.

Aan het einde van de week
moet ik naar een evenement,
dat mij bij beslissen leek
leuk te worden. Je kent
het wel, niet iedereen
en je moet veel doen
alsof, acteren.
Die moed kan keren
want het was zo druk,
het was vermoeiend op het werk,
'k had niet veel geluk
in de les of in de kerk
om op te letten, bij te blijven,
goal te getten.
Helaas, ik heb al toegezegd,
mijn vat is op en ik wil slapen,
ik wil rusten, voldoening geven
aan mijn eigen lusten.

Afgezegd,
gezwegen en belegen, leven
alle mensen verder
en ben ik heel tevreden
dat ik nog net genoeg had
in dat vat om te zeggen
dat het enige wat ik wilde,
mezelf erbij neerleggen
en hopen dat jullie
er niet te zwaar aan tilden.

Temporary friends, travelling in the same
direction, seated on the floor of a train
that did not pass inspection, heated
in arguments, chilled by the outdoors
but thrilled, had never felt the pain
others carried deep within their cores.

As they smoked inside and lied
about succes and achieved goals,
as the roaring fire charred coals,
they searched for a place to hide,
a place to look up at the sky at night
and still feel safe.

By day they read books
and faced exchanging looks
as the rusty train paced
across this barren land
that'd gripped them in it's clutch.

Some drank too much,
were overmanned, forgot to stand.

Its final destination was a meadow
dark and pure, the only light
came from up above as if it meant to lure
our strangers closer to endure
the shinings our moon reflected.

Even if these people weren't to be trusted
even if their skin was scarred, lip busted
and they made decisions with a coin to flip,
why or how they came up with the trip,
if they were classy, sketchy or messy,
no one got rejected. They made this,
the least ignorant form of bliss.

Take it all in.
Try to hold on
but let it go,
there's so much more to know,
nothing wrong with alleys,
backstreets or rallies.

Take it in
and let it go.

Once surrounded, slowly fading
I was once the center now I am
the edge.

In times of empty days, in which
you find too much space,
so much it haunts you.

Talk about, adress your long lost
friend and speak and tell and pronounce
the words: I love you.

Before you fade, before you turn into
me. The last thing I sometimes want to be.

Ongeacht welk hersendeel als laatste is geraakt,
papa en ik, wij zijn vanaf de eerste dag gekraakt.
Je heb zoveel voor ons gedaan.
Papa heb je geleerd *** hij samen verder hoorde te gaan,
mij *** ik op mijn eigen benen moest staan.

Wij kunnen dat hier niet alleen,
hebben al zoveel steun gekregen
van mensen, vrienden en familie bij wie we onze
donkere hoofden konden legen.

Je bent er nog, maar niet meer echt,
je schommelt tussen twee extremen.
Toch heb jij ook het recht
om waardig afscheid van ons te nemen

Mama, lief, jij was de oplosser van alle
denkbare problemen.
Nu zo zonder jou zoiets verwerken
Zal later misschien onze band versterken.
Voor nu, echter, stellen we het samen met jou
elke dag een beetje slechter.

How do I put it like it hasn't been before?
How do I say it without it tumbling into a bore?
How do I pronounce, in one word, what has to be heard?
How do I write in ways it will not be forgotten?

Is it metaphores like birds and flying?
Is it with fire of dire rhyming?
Is it rambling about loving or dying
or even such harsh expressions it is lying?

With bodies, with intertwining eyes, if not the rotting of a heart.
I'd try with poems, paintings and precious works of art.

But its purpose remains absent
like a dead language in the present.

The worst leader of this decade
has lead the worlds will to fade
to rise above the will to grow.
Lower the bridge and let them bestow
upon you the way of reason.

The people fear their mighty leader
the anti-hero of a nation, the feeder
of their children. But they're wrong,
he should be stripped of power.
Where all see he too is wrong, no
one dares to tell him so.

And they fell in demise
for being too wise
and lacking the skill
of understanding social thrill.

Duizelingwekkende pijn vertrekt vanuit mijn rug,
mijn ogen staan op barsten
zienderogen
zou ik het noodlot tarten,
had ik mezelf voorgelogen,
ik zou het allemaal wel oplossen
later
maar de leegte keerde steeds weer terug.
Mijn tanden knarsten,
vingers bogen,
het zwarte scherm speelde me te parten
levenloos en leeggezogen
wie kan mij verlossen
van al wat ik mezelf heb aange-
Daan.

A walk with fire
to reheat and warm my heart.
A flight through wind
to blow away the sorrow from the start.
A swim in water
to help me breathe.
A walk on earth
to be guided safely

back to where I belong.

It's not a matter of being able
I know I could, if I chose to so.
When the ways you love, though
seemingly doubtful or unstable,
are so attractive, you would not part
them. Don't let them mislead the heart.

As it is known to hand in mysterious roads
to you the knowledge but not insight.
As you search for perfection, you might
just see the the air escape her nose, up close
you'll notice the ways are written in codes.

Show me the light
show me the way
ensure me,
tell me fears will fade away
and these moments, passed
will always stay
a part of me and you

Forever parted since a day
of which we both know
it didn't go
as planned.
You keep quiet when I talk
but follow when I walk
away.

It is no code the be decoded,
nothing unloaded, faithfully exploded.
or no cherry to be picked in the heat
of a summer spree.
Soft and tender, sensual, complete
me.

Unreal it seemed, I'd do the same
just to see their affection. They came,
lined up as friends or family. I went,
when others weren't looking.

Little dots of light and energy, ready
to be little dots in some place new,
spreading their light and energy
and dottiness and the love they grew.

I wish to be a dot one day
but I have years to come.

Krachtige alsook afgemeten tegenstander,
blijf apart staan.
Lees in elk slim boekje elke tip.
Help jezelf, onstuitbaar, een rotte indringer, mol,
al reizend, te inspecteren.
Jaag nu en laat iedereen steeds anderen beschuldigen.
Etaleer tranen,
etaleer verdriet als
iemand niet groen rooit in de avond.

X-aantal eigenaardigheden later
bezinkt 't raadsel, uitgemolken, naar
onderen.

Mostly it's reversed, this time, not.
Rejection equals friendship in a way
unimagined. Now it's all I've got.
For the moment I notice, the second
I see, just when I know you'll never
love me. I turn it off, I cut it out.

The feelings disappear all at once.

I'll never look at this the same,
open my mouth with such unfair shame.
Of care I took and time I spend, hoping
to blend, in a different way, I guess I am
happy, and hope you will stay, a part of
my life, as a friendship resemblance.

I'll search again, for more prominence
in eyebrows, this time.

This loneliness won't leave me alone.
I am a bird, I have a lot of nests,
I need a tree.

Searching for another bird to share it with.
Nests pile up, a tree is needed,
and that other bird.

My tree is busy, my feathers frizzy.
Bookcases are half full.
I need a book.

The nests are not enough when laughing
gets tough, you need a book
and that other bird.

Whether it was his words
or the cold flake of wind, sent
to make a chill his spine descend.
His mind got divided in two different worlds.

As bumps arose upon his skin
he took the time to let the view in.
He looked too closely, too refined
in a way that every difference properly aligned.

Two friends in pink and red rehearsed
what they had read before he even had discovered
how this image of perfection frantically hovered
so far from his yawn and written cursed.

The cold did not emerge at once. The breath he throws
is visible and harmful though the proces slows.

Regret to and for everyone, I shall
do my best to look pretty manly or
attractive. But I shall go alone, for
I have lost my faith in the twists

of crushes and one wayed love. My
time has come to enjoy the loneliness.
I'll learn and grow, my life will be
more than ever, important to myself

and whoever thinks they fit inside this
compact piece of housing, furnished with
cowardly placed ornaments to hide the
stains and spots, unable to clean them,

make them vanish, make it all go away!
Tell love to change because I am here to stay.