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ClawedBeauty101 Jan 2019
That is what they say... as if it is something funny
But why do I feel this pain of longing for their company?

There were a total of seven of us... And two of them passed away

"They don't count, they were just tissues and organs that didn't make out in time."

MY FORGOTTEN DEAD OLDER BROTHER AND SISTER WERE ALIVE!!! BUT YOU MAKE IT SOUND LIKE THEY NEVER EXISTED!!!!

DON'T DISCARD THE REALITY OF THEIR BIRTH!!! They took just as much force and care just like the rest of us!!!

Steven... You were the original first born... you died from stress and an aching heart of my mother

Bethany... You died out of determination and demand to pick up something that was over the weight

There are days where I wonder why the Lord couldn't have made you guys live... a life with me...

He has his reasons... what matter is that I will see you in heaven someday... I will finally get to meet you and see you face to face
I love you guys... I really miss you both...

I feel so pathetic
ClawedBeauty101 Jan 2019
A stranger came up to me and said to my face
"I just want to say that you're pretty." My emotions, he tried to persuade

Is that all you got? Is that all you see?
An image that is pleasing and beautiful to your eyes? Is that me?

An object to complement, admire, and then leave behind?
You didn't ask how I am, if I'm okay, or say anything to comfort my mind

I can't stand men...
Because to most of them

I am a shadow of a statue they wish to see
But will never get... I was not created to appease

1/28/19
...Don't get me wrong, it was a sweet compliment, but I would much rather receive it from someone who is of the Lord and means every bit of what he says because he doesn't see an image or an object. BUT A PERSON WHO THEY WILL LOVE AND CHERISH FOREVER NO MATTER WHAT I DO
ClawedBeauty101 Jan 2019
In the Mirror I see I'm stained
Draped in an ink cell, shelled in pain

Bent over with soaking black tears
Why must I live in this cloak of fear

Hunched over frozen in a case of black ice
Slipping and sliding over the constant fights

Trapped in a fishnet of lies
Choked by the chokers of cries

Hidden behind a curtain of bangs
Constantly licking my bloodthirsty fangs

Watching from afar cloaked in shadows
My ears cuffed and pierced, arrested, abused, and exposed

Eyes painted in Abyss' rain
Wrist spiked with black frames

I am a walking talking, cold night
Physically Freezing, and drenched in blackness' fright

Now hand me your blade, and let me begin
To slice the tar that is sticking to this light within

The thick, inky muck that shells and suffocates
Is a monster that feels controlled and constrained

You don't want me to shine, you don't want to see me bright
You enjoy seeing this jewel locked up tight

Won't I be broken free from the rock?
Afraid my colors will attract too many thoughts?

Let this angel rip her wings out from underneath your rule
Let my eyes finally look up, I won't be fooled

I am disgusted with this gothic disguise
I'm breaking through, going into the light
And There is NO WAY you're going to stop making it shine...
Just let me out...
  Jan 2019 ClawedBeauty101
Caleb John
Sir, my concern is not whether God is on our side; my greatest concern is to be on God's side, for God is always right.
- Abraham Lincoln
ClawedBeauty101 Jan 2019
Uniquely Beautiful and Frozen Cold...

... and yet able to willingly melt in loving hands...
Can I be your snowflake? Or can I be lost in winters wind?
ClawedBeauty101 Jan 2019
I became hidden behind the severe weather's curtain of snow and ice

Running into a danger zone that was blinding white

Face beat red as ice shards pierced my lungs

Panting out winters puff, sinking into frozen love

My ankles shackled to the inches of snow

As the wind cried along with me, the rage only began to grow

Out of breath, I knelt for a bitter moment, just to feel, taste, and see

All the little Snow flakes kisses that laid upon me

On my coat, my hat, my face, and my lips

One with its each on individual beauty of crystalized hips

Edges so sharp, breaking through the numbness that lied

I began to laughed and cried, for I was also beautifully designed

Cloak me in your blasphemous hurricane winds, white me out from sorrow

Tuck me under your soft, icy sheets of snow

Color me white as I am buried away

So I maybe cleansed and purified. This will be my blackness grave

~ Wash Me In Winter's Kiss ~ For there is nothing more whiter then
*This
For He Has Washed Me As white As Snow
Praise Him...p

So yeah where I live we had a very dangerous snow storm and I kinda just ran away?... XD

Although it was dangerous it was totally worth it. It amazing how gloriously beautiful a storm can create. Completely white!? How often do we see that?

I was so freezing cold XD but look over it from an abandoned play ground made the frost bites worth it. I would have dived into it if I could have

So many people were .ad and furious I ran away like that but I had to I had so much on my mind that was ripping me

Be one with the frozen breeze to see the pure whiteness of beauty was exactly what I needed

I just wish I could have shared it with somebody...

Oh well XD
ClawedBeauty101 Jan 2019
I've been fighting with the monsters and demons that were hiding under my bed

•☆• What? Rest now?•☆•

OF COURSE NOT! Because I know they will only return if I do...
...I miss sleeping... but I gotta do what I can keep my mind pure and on the truth..
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