i am to be writing a letter to myself for me to open on my graduation day... 1603 days from now.
i dont even want to... but i know that i should.
im just scared to read it on my graduation day and be like, oh wow all this pain has stayed with me for four years... but i want to because there is an inkling that i could read it and feel, wow im glad that i am happier.

Why try suicide?
Suicide is not a good thing.
When you commit suicide.
There are lots of things you should think of,
Like, your family & friends.
You don't know how many people would die if you did.?
There are many.
And if you have dealt with family or friends committing suicide.
How did you feel when they died.?
Did you feel sad, mad, or depressed?
Well if you did.
Would you want your family or friends to go through that?
If you really didn't like them you would,
But i'm pretty sure, that most of you wouldn't.
But would you feel bad if you died and your family and friends were depressed, sad, or mad.?
I would.
I know sometimes i want to commit suicide.
But deep down.
I just cant.
My family loves me. (even though sometimes i feel they don't.)
My friends love me. (even though sometimes i feel they don't.)
But. I guess it's whatever.
But,
Why try **suicide

My own best friend acts like i'm trying to pretend,
I don't want this to happen again.
Another fight over something ridiculous.
Because if i was trying to pretend,
I would tell everybody.
She says she knows because her step dad has it,
But my Grandfather had it, My sister has it,
So there is a possibility,
I don't why she doesn't believe me.