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379 · Mar 2015
Untitled
Blue Flask Mar 2015
The things we do

For those approving looks

Those things not in books

Something from inside

Always done to hide

We change our appearance  

To leave subtle hints

Slowly killing ourselves

Putting ourselves through the Trials of hell

So that we can lie to our reflection

And tell them without a hint of doubt

I'm happy

Even though behind your eyes

You are screaming

Because you don't recognize the person
379 · Oct 2015
Over the city part 1
Blue Flask Oct 2015
In the highrise apartments
Looking out over the city
seeing the university life sprawled below
all the hearts weak in the knees
everyone breaking each others hearts
two of my best friends hooked up
its going to be a long few years
I feel bad i wanted them to fail
I feel so bitter that I helped them get together
I'm a sack of **** for not wanting my friend to be happy
but it ******* kills me whenever ever I see them
I'm a ******* monster
379 · Oct 2015
What they told me this week
Blue Flask Oct 2015
all alone in the tomes of knowledge
locked away on the quietest floor
sure, they say that we will meet up
I struggle to find the confidence to think they tell the truth
we said we would be here for hours
locked away in our own little worlds
this time it was supposed to be easy on me for once
maybe thats why I'm on the verge of failing out
when there is no friction
nothing to fight back against
even the strongest willed tigers turn to putty kittens in the hand of god
living the easy life of a failure
until its to late to escape the jaws of time and shame
knowing you can be so much better
but choosing not to be
thats what it meant
when they said I complicated everything
378 · May 2015
For the next time I see you
Blue Flask May 2015
Do you laugh at what I say
Simply because there is no longer
Anything to laugh at
Do you lock eyes with me
Simply because there is no longer
Anyone's eyes left
Do you secretly look at me
Simply because you know
I can see you
Will you break my heart
Simply because you can
When I see you next
Blue Flask Sep 2015
Midnight dreams roll around
Conversation floating in the sky
Every second spent alone
Every second with a friend
Night and Day
Odd things I've never seen
Feelings I've never felt
I can't help but feel that maybe some of these people genuinely care
They want nothing more than to see me be happy
And for once, I don't think there is an ulterior motive
376 · Feb 2016
Drunk at midnight
Blue Flask Feb 2016
I'll be the first to admit I'm drunk
And that I could probably be drunker
And I'll also be the first to admit
That my life has progressed to a point
Where I can't be happy even now
I can feel the room shaking
It's almost like its anticipating something big
The room is just waiting for life to be breathed into it
Yet here I sit
A spirit that can't provide for the room
I'm not really able to provide for anything these days
But that's a problem for another day
For now before I black out
I can just try and look for the few fleeting moments of happiness I have
376 · Feb 2016
I whisper into the dark
Blue Flask Feb 2016
The whispered words
only heard by the darkness
on the verge of a deep sleep
brought on by the exhaustion
sprinting this part of the marathon
three words was all it took for things to change
accidental confirmation of feelings
long overdue confessions
but still much too soon
the secrets that me and the dark hold
bind us together in a brotherhood of time
Blue Flask Nov 2015
Tired eyes peering over the edge of the book
He is expecting this already
He missed something
Just a little glance here or there
Maybe it was just a look in the eye across the room
But he missed something
It's not the fact that he missed it
It's not the fact he can feel himself slipping back into those minds
It's the fact that the coffee is cold
and the book isn't quite good enough to be an escape
373 · Oct 2015
If you ever came looking
Blue Flask Oct 2015
It's the showers where you can't feel the water
It's the times when you don't know here the water is coming from
It's the times you stand dripping wet
Numb to the cold air
Numb to the winter
Numb to your feelings
It's the showers after the long nights
Letting the water flow across your skin
You don't know how long it's been
Christ what did she look like?
It's the showers were you can't get out
Where you are so tired you almost fall asleep
That's where you'll find me
If you ever came looking
370 · May 2015
Gambler, part 1
Blue Flask May 2015
I'm addicted to gambling my happiness
And I've fallen in love with the idea of winning
I'm the gambler
I'm not very good
I always have the option to win
But it's never the win I want
I would be fine losing all the time
If I won one time
But let the chips fall
The table spin
Put a drink in my hand
Maybe tonight I'll win something  other than money
Maybe I'll win something worth it
370 · Jun 2015
the crest and the trough
Blue Flask Jun 2015
How do you know which you is the real you
that sounds like an odd question
but just assume for a moment
that you have the whole conflicting personalities thing
like me
i think theres three
the crest of the wave
the happy one
the trough of the wave
the one i hate
and the calm water one
the one i always want
so how can you tell which one is the real one?
i sure as hell can't
maybe they all are
even if some hate each other
but thats not important the sky or the earth
did i say three?
my bad
Blue Flask May 2015
I think there's something
always something
to be gained
by nothing
some shy away from the pitch blackness that surrounds them
lonely nights locked away in an iron cage of comforters
not a light on in the room
it really doesn't matter if they kept their eyes open or not
they all see the same thing
the darkness changes, that it does
some see the fears that plague them
some lovers of the past
some see the darkness looking back at them
seeing a sad little boy hiding under the covers
silently screaming away into the night
that he wants to be a little kid again
that he doesn't want to leave his friends behind
even though everyone knows he means the opposite
he doesn't want to go and hide under the corporate blanket
becuase it's all the same world, just different ages, different people
but we are all trying to hide under that blanket in the night
because we know that we don't want to see
whats inside that pit around us
the dreams
of what could have been
369 · Aug 2015
It's the ones you miss
Blue Flask Aug 2015
It's the world you miss
Locked away in your head
It's the ones back home
When you walk away
It's the ones you loved
When you turn you back
It's the ones who said
Everything will be alright
When you turned away
It's the ones who are no longer here
Might as well be gone from this earth
It's the ones you would give the would for
If they were to be back here
It's the ones you miss
When in the city
It's the ones who made the loneliness die
When you went away
It's the ones who you whisper to
That it'll all work out
Because that's what we do
Lie to each other so we can wake up again
Tomorrow is just a few lifetimes away
369 · Jul 2015
New family reunion
Blue Flask Jul 2015
Nodding off in Chem lecture
You have to look around
You haven't slept well recently
When everyone in the family
Hates their own roommates
So come all you hopeful
Into the cousins house
Give us the company
Let us fall for you
So we can kick you out
And see you looking at us
When we can't sleep at night
When we can't sleep right now
So let's fantasize about the good and bad
Waking nightmares aren't so bad
As long as I can sleep
And you stop staring
I promise I won't mess up anymore
Blue Flask Jun 2017
Hark the herold's angels sing
glory to the new found king
of your own consciousness
let the ******* take over
and dream
dream something anything
for the love of god never stop dreaming

eldritch obscenities
thrown with reckless abandon into the cold night
left to fend for themselves
in a world of subtle normality

people want to control
and will find ways to do that
sure as the moon is real
and shines so brightly in our dreams
Blue Flask Jul 2015
It's getting harder to write
to be not dramatic
to show what I really mean
and not what I want to
I'm sorry for lying
but I just wanted people to read everything
so that maybe they would read the true ones too
367 · Mar 29
The serenity prayer
Blue Flask Mar 29
45 degrees to the left on a two lane road
Would stop the screaming
Stomach no longer boiling in its own acid
Just drowning in black coffee and take out
Sweat no longer leaving a cartoon outline on the sheets
Just need a cool ring pressed against my palate
They said it would be cheaper
Coffee quickly out spends the rot gut
Staring through gleaming glasses
Rather than the amber round, looking up
Smiling and swirling around
A dancer in the dark
My own symphony
Playing for me, just me
As I shake shake shake
It was always either the DTs or the cold
A ***** soaked cocoon of the moth I am now
Not right
Never quite
Roll the dice
Let the monthly chips fall where they may
Collect like them a thousand purple hearted liver spots
Build a castle of coins
Circular towers, thrown stones in miller’s glass lighthouse
Addict yourself to getting better
Its the only way forward
Even when you are being pulled backwards
366 · Jun 2015
For no one specifically
Blue Flask Jun 2015
Oh come now
let'
s turn the earth to earth
and the dust to dust
let 'us go then
let's experience the world
let's fly away somewhere nice
let's **** ourselves in med school
let's live to we can't live any more
let's listen to vinyl recordings of Bob Dylan
let's get drunk and high and get really sad
let's hold each other close and whisper its going to be alright
let's trust each other implicitly
let's talk to each other for once
a real talk
365 · May 2017
Sober hangover
Blue Flask May 2017
Intoxicating thoughts of the world of tommorow
Steamy showers fill the nights
And easy food and liquor
Waking up hungover
Even though I've been sober for a while
Waking up hungry
For anything but food
The days of the future are starting to
Look a lot like the past
Heaving lungs
And swollen heads
Makes me wish
I could have fled
363 · Sep 2015
An unknown situation
Blue Flask Sep 2015
The scenes you'd never think you'd see
Even in a thousand lifetimes
The closest friends I have in this new place
Sobbing in their room
This wasn't supposed to be how tonight went
I was supposed to be the one sitting in the chair
Chest silently heaving, tears burning my face
I say it's going to okay
I've been there, I know what it's like
I say the same things they said to me
To make me feel better
Even though their words never worked
I feel so bad for them
They are such good people
That life just decided to ***** over
I'll do everything I can to comfort them
And walk strong with them in the morning
Survivors of this horrible night
Blue Flask May 2015
Its much to hot for you here
Im sorry for that
you have to long to wait
till you'll bring back the cold
i love you
there is no doubt there
but i hate you when you leave
take me away
i feel the sun
beating down its hatred
i feel this rough paper
boiling hot in this arid day
i feel my pocket
empty
i cant trust myself with it
not in this heat
i look over this almost stagnent pond
this is what ive become
a wanderless vagabond
never letting go of the past
(she's not coming back)
saying i have to write
these verses that i hate
so i know that someones reading
even if its something
i didnt want to write
362 · Jul 2015
Akron dorm part 3
Blue Flask Jul 2015
Big surprise
Most people here have depression
Kinda expected in a place like this
People are so much smarter than me
They still all have reasons
Things that happened
That made them the way they are
I still don't
I still am just as bad as some of them
for no reason whatsoever
I hate this so much
to much
to ******* much
362 · Jun 2016
High again
Blue Flask Jun 2016
I was born a king
And became a pauper
I'm high again
Second time I remember
(First time never count do they?)
My roommate needs to shut up
There was something
I wanted to say
A word I forgot
A dull screaming telling me
Commanding me
To burn in hell
Like the fat **** I am
Blue Flask Feb 2016
Are you looking at the snow?
Did you put your hand on the glass
and feel the coolness begin to creep into your skin
the same as me
Did you spend the day working
doing whatever you can to distract yourself
from your own problems
are you thinking of me now?
and what has happened?
and the same sadness that I feel
I can't remember what you look like
We always used to joke about how bad my memory was
But now I can't remember the mouth that told those jokes
Those eyes that looked into mine
and understood how this all works
Blue Flask Feb 2015
A man older than himself
looked out and spotted a young man. Quickly catching up to him, "hark, as you must be prepared to listen," and despite the rash claims of being busy and general feelings of offness, once the man older than himself began his tale, all grew soft.

"We always explored the lake in the winter. Any time it froze even the smallest bit, we'd climb out there. There were 6 of us in all, and we all knew each other in some way outside of such old traditions, but alas, we can always put aside petty fights for the sake of continuity. And so we embarked. 3 young man, braver than a man who only dreams good dreams, and three dames, whose reliability had gotten then through many good years."

"This year was no different. The ice stretched before us. The sun almost touching the horizon. The stars calming faces and the moons omnipresent language would soon be our only guides. All 6, paired in two, knew life. Perhaps this drove them together, perhaps apart. But united as 2, then 6, or 6, then 2, it is impossible to say. Three tents were drawn, twice as many dreams, as we knew not of the wisdom brought from the stars."

"5 sleeping lay, but one that is I, lies outside, reflecting on the events that manifested itself into today. Every year is the promise that it's the last, and as 6 was 5 last year, and those 4 didn't change, we knew that our time on the white lake was finishing thawing.

"But five became six, it did, against all odds, as odd number 5, a tortured soul was he, accepted the moral quandary of solitude, and though it saddened him every day, knew that this was the path that he chose. But as is the way of the last summers of young, 5 became 6, and the broken wounds were healed. 6th was the anomaly, the duo of 5, who was regarded as the other anomaly. But this stigma only drove them together and made 2 stronger than 4."

"The barren sheet lie around him, the 4 with no lights, the 5th a shadow approaching. Words of comfort that only hurt more. It's going to be alright isn't it? The young stars asked, as the old remain silent. The conversation became the lake itself, pocked and marked and slowly dying into new life. And as the sheet gave up its boycott on sound and the sun called back in, the anomalies stood on the shore and said goodbye for the first last time."
359 · Jun 2017
Melatonic Insomnia
Blue Flask Jun 2017
Meltonin taken nightly
To combat insomnia
Causes one to wake up more
Due to the dreams it causes
Trying to convey some meaning
That you assign yourself
Waking up gasping
Screaming for air
Feeing like you can't breathe
Dreams are for the sleeping
Hope is for the dead
A one man happy show
A starving artist
Who does it all
Not for some vague philosophical end
But because he doesn't like the taste of food
Light bulbs flicker
And the demons come
And I'm left here wishing
I can just sleep soundly
358 · Nov 2015
Ink bones on a rainy night
Blue Flask Nov 2015
I am trapped in a deep darkness
Im the blind trying to lead the sighted
I am no longer able to see the difference between light and dark
A vast white expanse laid out for me
A god to create what he wants
The white pages
Will remain blank to avoid the darkness
I was never able to create them
358 · May 2015
Shale Shelf Reflections
Blue Flask May 2015
Did God sit on these giant shale shelfs
Lining a gently flowing creek
Did God sit where I am
Feet dangling in the air
Barely touching the seemingly smooth surface
Did he know
That the creek is flowing fast
That's its just glass on the surface
Is that why God modeled life like that?
Giving the impression that everything is okay
While underneath you are always screaming at yourself
Did God sit here
And ask why his life is at the point it was?
Did he break off some rocks
And throw them
Just to smash the soft rock
Just to know he can change something
That he is important
He has some sort of power
Or did God casually sit here
Chewing on plant seeds
Knowing that even if he doesn't know
Everything that is going to happen
He can still get up tomorrow and face it
358 · Apr 2017
The ghost of yourself
Blue Flask Apr 2017
***** drugs pumped into you
To make you feel filthy things
Flask of cheap liquor
Fill you coat pockets
You pull the coat collar up
On these cold spring days
And walk around the world
And you never leave your little life
Assured in your own ineptitude
You drink and dance
And smile on the floor
As the world shakes around you
(A line used too many times)
You smile at your own effigy
Pleased with what you become
Your feline scowl
Mistaken for pride
As the time burns your likenesses to dust
You are happy you had one in the first place
Blue Flask Jun 2016
I ******* love you
There, I finally admitted it
And you were to clouded this entire time to realize it
You were always so worried I'd be angry at you
For the things you've done to me
But I ******* love you
The thought of not having you
Never mind being alone
The thought of not having you
Makes me feel something very deep down inside
Something I haven't felt in a very long time
Fear
I'm so ******* afraid that now that I love you
You will shatter my heart
Today is Febuarary 22nd
And wether it's today, or a lifetime from now
You will end up killing me
And I'm sorry I ever trusted you with the one thing
I could ever trust someone with
Blue Flask Sep 2015
Drunk on the party
Living in the moment
Never seemed so hard
Drunker than I've ever been.
Friends walking me home
Saying they are sorry
I'm sorry
I'm so sorry
For everything I've ever done
I'm drunker than ever
It's time I start acting like it
356 · Feb 2016
Noon on a Saturday
Blue Flask Feb 2016
Maybe it's the residual hangover
From a two day binge talking
But I see your presence a lot
It's hard not to in today's world
And sitting here writing this I am swaying
And every part of me wants to drink tonight
The last three times I have I have ended up sobbing in a corner
With people saying
I'm sorry, I'm so sorry
Where was I going with this?
Right, right
The residual drunkness brought on by a hangover
And the little hints you leave
I'm not sure if they are for me to find
Or maybe you are doing what I do
Or more than likely
You aren't doing any of those things
And I'm so desperate for something
Anything
From you
I'll turn the most menial of things into a mental scavenger hunt
Because it is noon on a Saturday
I have just woken up
I have a hangover
And I have lost all control of my life
Without you
354 · Nov 2015
12:02 on a Sunday blues
Blue Flask Nov 2015
It's sitting outside the friends room
His two good friends together again
He just sort of meanders about
Waiting for everyone to have time for him
He knows that's not how it really is
But that's just the way he feels
He's not sure if he is getting better
Or if he just really feels like he is
He kinda feels like he is running out of hope
Or maybe time
Probably time
He can't quite remember when he was sure
About anything about himself
He just knows he can feel happy
And he can feel sad
And he's not really sure when to feel them
353 · Jun 2015
Family Reunion the fourth
Blue Flask Jun 2015
The ashen lunged women
misses me dearly
maybe thats why she drinks
that doesn't explain why she always has
maybe thats were i get it from

the gangrene encrusted man
misses me dearly
maybe thats why he calls so much
i feel so bad for him
i was the only friend he had

the curly haired hippy
misses me dearly
or at least i assume so
maybe he'll start writing more
i miss his words

the blonde kid in the mirror
misses me dearly
i haven't seen him in a while
maybe he'll show back up soon
i really hope so
its been so ******* long
353 · Mar 2016
Alone
Blue Flask Mar 2016
It's only after the drinks are flowing
And the conversation is going
God I'm alone
These people are my friends
But **** do I feel alone
I see the stars
And I feel alone
I look at the world through my camera
And am never the subject
I am so ******* alone
353 · Dec 2015
I think the storm is over
Blue Flask Dec 2015
I think now I can breathe
And finally accept the good life
Maybe give this whole affair a new shot
We are both pretty messed up
For different reasons of course
You and your past
Me and my future
Sometimes we are on oposite sides of the coin flip
Sometimes we are closer than two hearts can be
But we were always there for eachother weren't we?
353 · Mar 2015
Pathetic dreams
Blue Flask Mar 2015
Do you ever have pathetic dreams? Sound asleep, and you wake up and remember a dream where you were a pathetic creature to who you are now. A fetid little creature, too afraid of being judged to talk to others, but spouts how it isn't fair. A horrid sight, a man wasting away from eating to much, slowly killing himself in temporary relief, becuase the only time he feels safe is when he is eating. A sobbing mess of a man, beating his fist into the pillows that don't deserve the abuse.  A sad excuse for an intellectual, who is to dumb to realize he's addicted to his depression.  I wonder what the pathetic dreams are?
352 · Jan 2017
12:40 AM and fucked up
Blue Flask Jan 2017
The sound of the party next door
Filled with the stench of **** and failure
(Filled with same people who look down
Their noses at me).
I've been struggling a lot lately
With if I want to be a doctor
I just want to feel like I belong
So the sands of time flow
And I get to flip the hourglass
Until my bones are greyer than my hair
And my skin is sullen with wax

I feel like i can't wright anything
That's just not complete ****
350 · Sep 2015
Account anouncments
Blue Flask Sep 2015
Some friends gone to mass
some gone to the gym
some out to hike
I told them I was sick
and that I couldn't go
A lie naturally
I think I need a break from this place
I think I need to stop writing for a while
I need to find you
I'm going to take a break now
Catch up on some sleep
Maybe even go on a hike
to everyone that has been reading
Thank you
I feel so much closer to finding you
349 · Apr 2015
Untitled
Blue Flask Apr 2015
Neon dreams reflected in the waves of the hopes we give to the world in the grey artificial ether. The streets lined with the faces of the citizens, wide eyed walking through with hunches shoulders and happy grins. The gutters over flowing with the over whelming stench of failure, failure to achieve those neon dreams advertised right above their heads.  Arguing remnants of the last nights alcohol fueled fighting. Hazy memories dredged up of childhoods past. A forgotten love of the walking of the streets, smoke on the air, the hazy street lights casting an indiscriminate over the wandering paths. Walking this path marveling at the thrills of life. Walking with a smile, the last you remember of it's kind. A hand in yours. A grey mass slowly floating away, becoming another part of the sky around you. Blending all together. Neon signs cast a harsh glare through the fog.
347 · Dec 2016
The drive
Blue Flask Dec 2016
Sulking willows line the drive
Sounds like a great line
For one of those poetic sad stories
And that's the line
Some guys estranged son will say
Pulling into the house after hearing the news
And I could say something about the darkness inside everyone's soul
Or maybe something about how happy endings don't happen often enough
But then I'd be lying
If I didn't tell you that I am nothing
347 · Aug 2015
The city streets
Blue Flask Aug 2015
Walking the city streets alone
hand in hand with the ghost of the past
this was the spot
where we promised so much to each other
walking on
passing by the statues in the park
seems like they never stop looking
passing by the hospital
where you had to go when you almost died when you were younger
you said so many things to me
to many things
echoes of the past now
my constant companion the ghost of what you were
hand in hand down the empty city streets
its getting colder each day
so this is the price I have to pay
for the sins of my past
343 · Oct 2015
I'm so sorry God
Blue Flask Oct 2015
1:30 on a Sunday night
That's when everyone found out the secrets about me
The lies I told
The ways I manipulated them

Look before I go to sleep and wake up back in the other me, I can feel him fighting me now, please you have to listen, I need to find you, I need to find you soon. I need to fall in love and have someone fall in love with me. I need to tell the truth and tell you all that I can't do this for much longer and that the things in my head are getting worse and I can already tell the other me is changing what I'm saying and please for the love of God, why God won't you help me, please I don't want to live like this, I can't live like this, I can't take this. I'm going to end up doing something stupid and I'm so afraid of what that might be. I'm so sorry Gavin. I'm sorry Andrew. I'm so sorry for admitting defeat. Oh god I need help. I can't recognize the man in my mirror. Why can't I remember what I look like? Why can't I just die and stop feeling so ******* sad. Why can't I just feel something please for the love of God please let me feel something other than anger. I'm sorry God, I'm so sorry for not believing in you, I'm sorry for all the people I hurt. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry
343 · Jul 2016
Just a little bit
Blue Flask Jul 2016
There's something about **** cheap beer
The kind that makes you want to throw up
As it rushes down your throat
As the half drunken *******
Dance in front of you
Making a fool of themselves
And this place they call home
There's something in the way they move
Like too many fallen stars
Reminds me of home
Somewhere I haven't been in a long time
There's and empty seat next to me
Old and new people come and go
And we have nice little conversations
That remind us of who we are
As the new bottle opens
And a new person appears
I feel a little bit more alive
343 · Apr 2017
Blue moon, Full moon
Blue Flask Apr 2017
Once in a blue moon, full moon
Round and blank
Two blue moons
looking into mine
Full moons
of a timed past
blue moon, full moon
rarer than gold
a smile across the surface
makes finding the blue moon, full moon
all the more worth it
#npmmoon
342 · Jun 2015
Certainly im better now
Blue Flask Jun 2015
Life is certainly better now that i've left for college
I havnt woken up or falling asleep sobbing since i got here
The girl(s) i like only play mind games that make me question everything
only sometimes
I havnt stopped writing like i thought i would though
Thats very distressing
My classes seem to be going easier then they were a few weeks ago
I think im going to not get good grades this time either
But things are certainly different
sometimes i actually believe peoples smiles are sincere for once
sometimes i think these people actually like me
sometimes i dont hate myself
there is even another writer here
maybe i'll get to know him
did i say im getting better or life is?
because im not getting better
no, just the circumstances have changed
thank god for distractions
340 · Mar 2017
Particularly lucid
Blue Flask Mar 2017
Particularly lucid moments
In an otherwise flash junk mind
Reminds me that this ship
Though full of holes
Can still float
And the good times can come
With the beach and the sand
And though the fogs on the horizon
(With hope filling that's were it will stay)
We dance and drink the night away
339 · Mar 2015
Untitled
Blue Flask Mar 2015
I've never fallen in love

Except every time I make eye contact for more than a second

With that girl who looks like the type of girl

That I think would like me

And I don't think they do

I mean I'm just some guy looking a bit to long

Then I get up from my seat

Saying this will be the time I talk to her

As I walk by her and pay for my coffee

And walk out the door

I think she was watching me go

So I've never fallen in love
339 · Feb 2017
Sleep
Blue Flask Feb 2017
My God, what have I become
Willow tree walking around
Doing what's expected of me
I feel my body failing me
Like it wants me to let go
But I just want to be happy
And I'm not happy
And I don't know why
My God, what have I become
I told on someone for cheating
Because I value the truth
And now I have a target on my back
I can't stop lying to myself
And I don't know why I dreamed
About the creature in my room
But I turned my back
Because I'm too tired to care
I wake up tired
I can't sleep
I can't sleep
I can't sleep
I just want some ******* sleep
I don't even want to dream
Please just let me blackout for a few hours
I can barely keep my eyes open
I just want to sleep
Please
Blue Flask Jun 2015
When did i first start to like you
we  met at orientation
for such a select program
the best of the state
i thought you not you
i thought you were one of the cool students
the center
but I started talking to you
and you were nice
and then we left each other
then i
I
I
I
contacted you
why I'm not sure
I kinda thought this would happen
but that is for later
it was casual convo
but you were already hurting me as much as everyone else did
that usually takes at least a month
but with you it was so much quicker
I'm not sure why
then we met again in person
I'm too nervous to talk to you for long
so it was infrequent
but then I realized I'm more sociable than you
I really hope thats true
so we slowly started hanging out more
this isn't some ****** love story
you are nervous for exams
I'm not
I'm joking around
because I'm an ******* like that
i say something to you
i just want you to ******* laugh again
and i never thought you'd get angry at me
you said its fine
but now that exams are coming
i cant talk to you until next week
and my ******* problems
wont le me sleep
i keep on thinking of you
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