I wish i could envelope myself
In the ecstacy of escapism
Rushing away to realms concealed
In things that make me sway.

But, no, I am strong.
I shall overcome.
I am stronger than that which consumes me
Whether suicide or addiction, I will win.

I'm going to try
And not focus on
Religion as much today.

I fell asleep
Before I could
Read the night away.

The promise i made
I will keep today
I will keep in every way.

No cigarettes today
No cutting
No punching
Try to not cry.

No excuses
No hiding
If I am weak,
Go to her.

She won't be mad
I will be okay
And i will have bliss
To fight today

I will never hide
No matter how much I ache
I trust you to look away
If you truly wish to.

Thank you so much.
I will be better.
I'll be a good friend to you,
and I'll keep my emotions out of it

Cuts and scrapes
Slashes, tears
Unintended, with intention
Please save my soul.

I may have thought
Non stop last night
Of running inside the fire
But I am excited now
To know, today,
I'll see the one whom I miss.
The one who helps give
Me meaning
To push on.

When I walked to the restroom
The way he smiled at me
Tore my soul to shreds

I lay to rest
And think about
The morning that I've had.

I can't believe
I could receive
The blessing that I have.

I have some healing to do
But that is same for all
Never forget, I'm here for you, dear
No matter if you fall.

The bad may come in threes,
But you were not that.
Tragedy echoes not
The feelings within me.

You are the Great Third,
The final of the trio
The golden sheft of wheat
Given to the gods of autumn.

You are the shining sun
A glorious ray of light
But a cloud rolls past you, dear
Shadowing your might.

The tragedy may have been me
But twas it not you.
You may have torn my soul apart
But you can mend it anew.

I'm thankful for you
I have given you my heart
And i pray you keep it safe.

No matter what
I'll keep yours safe
Beating happily next to mine

I seriously miss you so ******* much. I can't believe you're gone. I just can't. I can't wrap my head around the fact that you're okay with just leaving me, even though just three days ago we had kissed and you held me close and I was all yours. I'm still all yours. I love you so ******* much. I ******* love you still so ******* much. I am so ******* tired of not being good enough. I want you to love me again. Please. Please just please for even a day, I'll make it last a lifetime. Just please.

Ill pour my ******* heart out now
That i know that I can
And i am in so much ******* disarray

Be happier than i ever made you
And it'll make me happier than I ever have been.

I hope the best
For you and I
That I may grow
And that you may too

'i didn't want to talk to her'
You didn't end the call when
I spoke my heart out,
But when I told you
I can't be there
Because you still do ****

Then you left the call.

You'll never feel
Like a disappointment
To me.

The Olympian Spirits compare not to your wondrous beauty.
Their power is nothing to your smile
The dragons of the world revile
When they're pierced by your shining glow.

Your radiance appeasing Helios,
Athena admires your wit,
And Aphrodite loves your look
Every curve, every bump, is blessed.

You may not be able to look past my odd beliefs
But I adore yours
You need not khernip, for your miasma
Is as wonderful as fallen snow.

I will remember
My dear, oh medicine.
Ananke, bless me so.
Inevitability,
Compulsive necessity,
May I remember
Her embrace.

I understand what you mean
By not wanting me
To focus on you.

My first thoughts
When I rise
Are still centered on you.

I'm sorry
I don't know why anymore
But I am

I know you will be fine
Whatever the problems you had overblown will be talked of and healed
Love will return
But only if you wish it to.

Let that smile return
Never let it fade
Whatever's occured
I know you'll feel better

Lord burn my skin
Enliven my flesh
In a way, only You can.
Transform me,
May the harm be cleansed
Like holy fire,
Transfiguring sinner
To saint.

My faith in God
These last two days
Have been as thin ice in the last days of winter.

how could I be so blind
To let everything get ahead of me
Why did I not put her first?

My salvation will never be ensured
But one thing was
And that was her love.

Or so I thought
I may not believe in anything anymore
I didn't expect this from her.

On here, I am free
To say as I wish
But I don't want to give you fuel
To fan flames against me

Every word you said,
Bouncing around my mind,
Like a lovely ball of light
Showing my soul
That smiling is okay.

Lord grant me a peaceful rest
Alleviate this stress
And resign myself to You.

Keep my dreams
Let them not wander
Lest I remind myself why i am sleeping

I may be extreme at times
But I will mellow.
I hope you heal
Just as I hope to too.

I'm afraid to hold on
My trust, not shattered, but hurt
Am I to believe you won't leave me again
Lying alone, in pain, in the dirt?

The world is green,
But slowly dying,
And i have got to go.

Show my loved ones
Where I'm falling
To the land of cold, white snow.

I am free to
Spare my falling.
I can save, save my soul.

From all this worry
And expectations
Of how I'm supposed to go

I won't let my dreams,
Remaining dreams,
Be stamped out,
But I won't let them rule over me.

But my dreams keep me
Holding on
To the life that
Others find so dear.

Who do I have?
What do I have?
Am I truly alone?

When my friends dwindle
And I've got no one,
You're still there.

Even when everyone
Around me
Can betray me.

You're still there.

So am I ever truly alone?
No, never, you won't let me.
For this, I appreciate you most.

Cutting corners
Unburred edges.
The bringers of
Harsher thoughts.

Don't free my body,
Don't let me see inside my own.
Just let me have my peace

I'm a loser baby
So why don't ya **** me
*wicked guitar solo

Those hidden things
Those secret things,
bestowed to me
In times of stress.

Will i be okay?
Or am i just trash again
To be tossed aside

I regret thinking
Like I wrote
The ignorant bliss
Knows not the inquisitive mind

But trust knows not the mind, as well
Worried for the worst, is still assuming.
My apologies, my most dearest joy.

I have faith that you were lovely
And didn't stray, or fall
For the man with green blue eyes

Every day I walk through life
Unknowing of where to go
I only have a vague idea
Of what I'm 'sposed to know.

I'm unsure of my calling
I'm unsure of my life
I'm not too keen on these machines
That cause me all my strife.

I live a life of lying
Of looking into eyes
And telling people I'm okay
That I've still got all my tries!

But one thing is for certain
This one's not left behind
The one thing I am certain of
Is Love's right-wondrous rhyme.

What's shone since the beginning?
Since light first graced the sky?
'Twas Hatred's broodish, helly face?
No! Love's the one, says I!

So one thing is for certain
This one's left to remind
Of why I keep on chugging
And a-rollin' down the line.

That's Love is my whole reason
For dancing this foreboding dance
And if I am not careful
I could lose my last chance.

So learn to romp and tango!
Bully, my boy, dance right!
For if we Love, what have we lost?
Not nary a beautiful night!

You let me live for you
And this is what I'll do

Guilt will come
Guilt will go
Happiness will come to stay

Don't be complacent
Become your goals
And never let others get in the way

Milk and honey,
Are the answers
I try to
Give myself.

May i *******
Bitter sweetness
My medicine
Is too far gone.

You are still my joy
Until the end comes.
I say those two words
Because they're right.

Never forget me
I won't forget tou
Even if you've got to go
For a while.

I will be here
While Autumn's coming
And I shall
Be here for you.

I'll never leave you,
My Autumn Darling,
Even if your leaves
Weren't evergreen.

I've held the blade in my hand
I have not cut myself.
I don't know how you care so much.
I love me.
I may hate myself
And view all of this as my fault
But I know
Deep down
I love me.

We can work through the pressure
Just take your time,
Know who's there for you,
And make your heart Happy.

Your soul, golden to me,
No matter your choice.
I know I am a sorry soul
But never forget i love you so.

My name is Tommy
I go by Bede
Because I'm afraid to be me.

I'm obsessed with names
Because I'm ashamed
Of what I can turn mine into.

No longer!
I am Tommy
And I will be proud.

Thank you, darling.
Im sorry im sad.
May my heart be healed.
Dont let this change
How i am your friend,
I know it hasnt changed
For me.