I will keep trying
I don't know why i am
I forgive myself
I guess

Countless questions
With no more answers,
Yes and no
Written in her eyes.

Time will tell, dear
If my wishes come true.
Neither answer
Will stay my heart.

Yes or no, dear,
Can come in winter.
Whether this one
Or the next, or the last.

No more pain
And no more sorrow.
Time to make your
Smile shine bright.

I may have thought
Non stop last night
Of running inside the fire
But I am excited now
To know, today,
I'll see the one whom I miss.
The one who helps give
Me meaning
To push on.

You'll never feel
Like a disappointment
To me.

On here, I am free
To say as I wish
But I don't want to give you fuel
To fan flames against me

Those hidden things
Those secret things,
bestowed to me
In times of stress.

I've held the blade in my hand
I have not cut myself.
I don't know how you care so much.
I love me.
I may hate myself
And view all of this as my fault
But I know
Deep down
I love me.

I'm sorry, my love, I failed you
My arms fall to my side
I lay my weary head to rest
And rise to feel like I've died

Arisen in panic
In worry, in fear
Anxiety stricken
With no sleep near

Please forgive me, love
I hope it went well
I love you so much
Though I feel like hell

God looked upon the glory he made,
And, Lord, did he get jealous.
He formed every being in heaven,
And yet He made you the most stunning.

He's watched you grow, evolve, and change,
And He's jealous of the happiness you give me
That He couldn't.

You make the Heavens envious!
For they know their beauty
Is nothing compared
To you, oh Muse.
Oh bright shining, radiant being,
The Tears of God are shed for thee!

I'm going to try
And not focus on
Religion as much today.

I fell asleep
Before I could
Read the night away.

The promise i made
I will keep today
I will keep in every way.

What must I do?
Here is my list:
Make sure your attention
Is focused on her.
Love her fully, but show it this time
And don't let her hide her feelings.
Do not hide yours,
No matter if you end up hurt,
It's already happened once,
I know you'll love. I know you'll live.

Talk daily, call her, treat her just as she is viewed in your heart.
In the end, you'll still make her feel like the most important person in the world.

That is what matters the most right now

I won't let my dreams,
Remaining dreams,
Be stamped out,
But I won't let them rule over me.

But my dreams keep me
Holding on
To the life that
Others find so dear.

Who do I have?
What do I have?
Am I truly alone?

When my friends dwindle
And I've got no one,
You're still there.

Even when everyone
Around me
Can betray me.

You're still there.

So am I ever truly alone?
No, never, you won't let me.
For this, I appreciate you most.

Ill pour my ******* heart out now
That i know that I can
And i am in so much ******* disarray

Be happier than i ever made you
And it'll make me happier than I ever have been.

I hope the best
For you and I
That I may grow
And that you may too

My faith in God
These last two days
Have been as thin ice in the last days of winter.

how could I be so blind
To let everything get ahead of me
Why did I not put her first?

My salvation will never be ensured
But one thing was
And that was her love.

Or so I thought
I may not believe in anything anymore
I didn't expect this from her.

When I stop thinking
I am drawn to a sadness
Unknown to me.
Unbeknownst to me
Is the woe
That plagues my soul
To infinity.

I've not lost yet,
Her, the game of Life, none of it.
I may have lost my friend,
And I may be changing,
But i know I'll be proud and
Happier to be me.

I know she will be too

Thank you for telling me
The truth of what he did.
His friendship meant little to me
When he hit a **** pipe when I saw him.

If all they want to do is smoke,
Then I am wary of them.
I'm overcoming my addiction
That's why I'm now wary
Of those who are false
Behind simulacrum screens.

I understand what you mean
By not wanting me
To focus on you.

My first thoughts
When I rise
Are still centered on you.

This cup was not
passed by me, but to me
And the vinegar inside
Is justly deserved.

I was not enough
To heal the wound
Telling her that
I am not worthy of her love.

I'll forever hold you close,
My dearest friend,
If platonic soulmates truly exist,
When things are finally calm,
I'll be happy to call you mine.

Can I say why i love you still?
I can give you many reasons, I could write tomes of devotion, series spent on your eyes,
But, I love you unconditionally,
It took time, it wasn't instant, it was tried and tested.
I love you as you are.
No if, ands, or buts.
I love you for you, my perfect person

I ache, my muscles
And skin torn and worn.
My night and morning
All spent towards betterment
Of the self
Even if I learned
Through harm

I miss church
But I woke up too late
And I dont know
If I can make it.

My heart hurts still
I don't know where to go
And I'm scared of the consequences.

I want peace
That truest peace
The bliss of the ages.

Will i make it to church?
I would druther see the color
In my best friend's hair

I lay to rest
And think about
The morning that I've had.

I can't believe
I could receive
The blessing that I have.

I have some healing to do
But that is same for all
Never forget, I'm here for you, dear
No matter if you fall.

Cuts and scrapes
Slashes, tears
Unintended, with intention
Please save my soul.

Will i be okay?
Or am i just trash again
To be tossed aside

I cannot believe
My body can ache
From the wrath i cause myself.

Leave me alone
Oh tormenting mind
And free me from my cell.

Remove me from temporal gain,
Eleviate my need for joy.
**** my soul, destroy me whole
And keep me as I was.

Thank you, darling.
Im sorry im sad.
May my heart be healed.
Dont let this change
How i am your friend,
I know it hasnt changed
For me.

I'm thankful for you
I have given you my heart
And i pray you keep it safe.

No matter what
I'll keep yours safe
Beating happily next to mine

I will never hide
No matter how much I ache
I trust you to look away
If you truly wish to.

Thank you so much.
I will be better.
I'll be a good friend to you,
and I'll keep my emotions out of it

The Olympian Spirits compare not to your wondrous beauty.
Their power is nothing to your smile
The dragons of the world revile
When they're pierced by your shining glow.

Your radiance appeasing Helios,
Athena admires your wit,
And Aphrodite loves your look
Every curve, every bump, is blessed.

You may not be able to look past my odd beliefs
But I adore yours
You need not khernip, for your miasma
Is as wonderful as fallen snow.

Even though you're another's
I can't take your picture from my phone
I'm a ******* loser
I'm sorry I can't yet
I didn't know you had trouble removing me from yours

The world is green,
But slowly dying,
And i have got to go.

Show my loved ones
Where I'm falling
To the land of cold, white snow.

I am free to
Spare my falling.
I can save, save my soul.

From all this worry
And expectations
Of how I'm supposed to go

It isnt just you
I've lost my brother
My family
Ignores my cries.

My friends abandoned
Me to go be happy
But you have stayed
By my side.

I am not afraid of who i am
Nor am I scared of who I'll become

I'll use this as a lesson
In the school of life
Never believe what people say
Unless you stare them in the eyes

My emotions, soon stoic,
But, in here, legendary.

My world, transformed.
A scroll folds across the sky
Ahead of me, the trumpets blare,
And i'm left to be trampled by a Godly steed.

I regret thinking
Like I wrote
The ignorant bliss
Knows not the inquisitive mind

But trust knows not the mind, as well
Worried for the worst, is still assuming.
My apologies, my most dearest joy.

I have faith that you were lovely
And didn't stray, or fall
For the man with green blue eyes

I hope, even though he said no,
That you are made happy.
Dont let anyone hurt you
Dont sacrifice yourself
Dont be like me
And wait for nothing

I will not cut
Even if i want to
Even if I wish
I had died

Those months ago,
Just a year and half month
I almost
Took my life.

Please dont worry
I cannot leave you,
My soul would never
Forgive itself.

But those long cuts
They had a meaning
My sorrow
Has culminated in pain.

Do not blame yourself
For my poor judgement.
You dont blame me
For you leaving.

So please dont blame yourself
For all my sorrow
In the end
Youre still my light.