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Four walls of insanity
Keep me boxed in
I used to think I was safe
Now I only wish to escape
The box is my home
Inside it I am alone
Four walls of insanity
Keep me boxed in
i am boxed in
we are now cancelling people
easier than appointments
we write each other off
at the first hint of disappointment

i remember disagreement
being met with discussion
now when we hear uncomfortable comments
we reach for the cancel button

call me old fashioned
but i refuse to cross you out
even if you tell me
something we'll argue about

i would rather argue with you
than not hear your voice at all
let's cancel this ******* culture
before we cancel our souls
i refuse to cross you out
i didn't know then
what i know now
the thoughts of an adult
aren't the same as a child
i wasn't the same person
as who i am now
time has a way
of changing things around
time has a way of changing things around
You tell me to choose
Little do you know
The choice was made up for me decades ago

I didn't have a say at all
My cards were snatched out of my hand
I watched all of my aces fall

Choices are always harder for the woman
Something you could never understand
I want to live just one day as a man

You tell me to choose
Little do you know
The choice was taken from me decades ago
little do you know
Friends come and go
I wish you didn't have to go
Friends change
Friend's betray
Friends lie to your face
Telling you that they're OK

A friend can laugh the loudest
A friend can be the group clown
You can find that same friend hanging from a rope
Shattering everything that you thought you know

Some friends are tenacious
Determined to give up
When you left you tore us up
i was forced to say goodbye to the clown
🤡🖤
She begs him to stop
Her throat raw and aching
She scratches at his face
Her strength rapidly fading

The realisation is sudden
It hits her painfully enhanced
All control is lost
He's the one in command

She automatically retreats
Into the back recesses of her subconsciousness
Her body is no longer hers
She trusted the wrong man and this is the consequence
the consequence of trusting the wrong man
I created her with passionate  love
I destroyed her with enraged wrath
I mourned her with remorseful grief
I remembered her in languid dreams
i created you only to destroy you
🖤🖤🖤
i was a poet
until some threatened ******* told me not to write
i stopped being a poet and became a brilliant poet
I know what she wants
Its written on her face as clear as day
A moth drawn to a flame
I cannot look away
Her desire is an infectious tidal wave
Seeping into my veins
She knows what I want
There's nothing left to give away
We drop all pretences and get ready to play
let's play a little game of desire
fiction is fiction when there is no proof
fiction becomes prediction when it actually comes true
fiction becomes prediction when it actually comes true
I danced before you
In my naked youth
My hips moved in mysterious motion
The music played so ominous
Carrying out the back door

I made my way toward you
Until we were flesh on flesh
The curve of my thigh
Matched the shape of your palm
While that eerie song ended
I became yours
the night we became something else
The girl in blue is through with you
Through with your ****** gestures
Cleaning up your messes
I'm putting on a brand new dress
The girl in blue is changing her view
time for a brand new view
her hair was messy in an artfully, mesmerising way
she had an accidental class that she was not aware of possessing
she would answer your questions in a way that kept you guessing
when she would speak
she would make you believe
that she created language in the time that she had free
her hair was messy in an artfully, mesmerising way
she created language in the time that she had free
When she was a child she would escape into her mind
When she wanted to cry she would fake a smile
When she became a woman
She planned her great escape
The slice of a blade caused the end of her charade
she finally escaped
I commited the greatest sin
I did not remain thin

I commited the greatest sin
I embraced being a curvy woman

I commited the greatest sin
I threw my beauty magazines in the bin

I commited the greatest sin
I decided to feel comfortable in my own skin

I commited the greatest sin
I found my true beauty within
i committed the greatest sin
he was alone
in a place where alone was a sin

so he created some friends
inside his head

my god, it was bliss
though they didn't exist

for a fraction of time
he felt accepted
alone was a sin
people were playing pretend
caught up in the moment
the moment passed
i had to ask
if the moment would happen again
i had to ask
Drop me in the middle of your war
I will not fear
I will not cry
My peaceful love will keep me alive
I fight with peace and love.
High school is five years of nothing.

By nothing, I mean it means NOTHING.

As soon as you get out you transform into something else

By the time the reunions come around you do not recognise yourself

Who you were then will cease to exist

All of it rendered insignificant

I'm telling you friend,

High school is five years of NOTHING.
one of the truths of life...
I haven't even met you but I feel as though I have
Romance is kind of funny like that
I'm 31 years old but I'm an inexperienced school girl inside
I'm a nervous child dreaming of her first time
I haven't even met you but you're eyes have captivated me
I'm entranced in a frozen moment
Of innocence and patience
Your pale blue iris takes me to a secret oasis
Where I am safe to explore my inner self
Where your heaven eclipses my past hell
I haven't even met you but your beauty speaks otherwise
I want you to take my hand
Show me the other side
show me the other side
everyone knows Pain
she visits every one of us
wearing different disguises
different costumes
so we do not even realise
that Pain has become our friend
until we are sobbing on the floor of the staff room
until we are putting up barriers so we never let such humanity show
until we are cutting off lovers, family, friends
until our own raw reflection is too much confrontation to handle

every one knows Pain
she presents us with a bottle and promises a cure
she hands us a blade and offers an escape
she gives us diet pills and leads the way to "True Beauty"

Pain looks so different every time
making it near impossible to spot her pretty lies
if you look closely though,
she has a pattern of isolation
never, will she promote Unity
Connection,
Hope,
Community
always, she will order you to operate alone
forever drawing upon inner self-centeredness
never, will she guide you to Truth

every one knows Pain
she is a clever friend to all
always lurking in the background
waiting, on standby
ready to become our transportation to the morgue

we have a closer friend called Healing
stored in a back shelf
that we sometimes forget
she also comes in many forms
she is a song
she is a hug
she is a pen
she is a pen
you told me this cage was a palace
you told me I was lucky to be in a place so luxurious
with beautiful bars to grip and look out through

you told me the people walking outside were the prisoners
you told me that freedom is poison
you kept feeding me stale bread reminding me how miserable they were with their champagne and cavier

i kept looking out at the ocean and wondered what it would feel like to swim beneath it's depths
you caught my gaze and promised me that the ocean would only drown me

you told me this cage was a palace
that i was outrageously lucky
so, why did you never call me your queen?
why did you never join me in this so called luxury?
you spin her the same lies you spin for yourself
Once there was a woman who had a mental illness.

Everyone supported her.

Her husband completely understood her and never yelled at her when she forget her medication or had an expected attack of the giggles.

Her family checked in every day.

The medical staff in her community always did their job in a friendly and professional manner, never making any mistakes.

All of the community were accepting and understanding and every employer she ever had were educated on mental illness and full of empathy.

This is how bad this woman's mental illness actually was.

She actually believed this delusion.
I wish this delusion was real
Shame is a man that I know well
He lingers near my bedroom doorway
Watching me undress
Scanning my movements
He documents my every transgression
So when the time is right
My guilt can be displayed
Shame is cunning that way

Shame is a woman that I cannot relate to
She calls me a ****
Woman attacking woman
Mocking the concept of sisterhood
Spitting on the idea of love
Destroying the human in all of us

Shame is an infectious disease
That I caught as a child
Deadly, contagious
Telling me lies, brutally outrageous
Like I am ugly and worthless
Like I am not enough
Shame is a toxic addiction
That we should all try to give up
shame is cunning that way
a poem is a collection of creative scribbles
i suppose that i
am a poem
the poet tree
with it's many limbs
entwined in the web
of creativity

the poet tree
where she goes to sit
under the shade
of invention

the poet tree
with it's trunk of nourishment
born from soil
enriched with embellishment

the kind only a writer uses
to flesh out fact
with romantic fusion
combining truth with fiction

the poet tree
where she comes to read
under the protective cover
of poetic sanctuary
the poet tree where she comes to write her poetry
I picked her from the garden of Eden
My sweet forbidden rose
The petals of her thighs are a gift that only women have known
I plucked her from the rose bush and felt a pain in my side
A thorn had pierced me deeply and I began to cry
I was destined to be connected to the thorn for life
When sweet forbidden roses were my true desire
I dropped her in the garden of Eden
Along with my hopes and dreams
Now the wound in my side is my constant reminder
Of what could have been
what could have been
🌹🌹🌹
This secret is hidden
Under piles of ***** laundry
Only you and I
Know where it is kept
secrets that I only shared with him
I will never judge you on your conditions

I will never shame you for how you were born

Do we judge  the ocean on her turbulance?

Do we shame the sun for her ferocity?

Do we try to stop the rain from pouring

Simply because she chills us to the bone?

I won't judge you on your conditions

I won't shame you when you have done nothing wrong

Your authenticity is something to be proud of
your authenticity is something to be proud of
pick a side
pick a side
pick a side

like sports teams
like equations
like war

pick a label
pick a gender
pick an orientation

what the hell
do we need sides for?

i'm on the side of acceptance
i'm on the side of love
i'm on the side of no sides

maybe one day that will be enough
she told me to pick a side
I close my eyes and count to ten
When I open them again,
The sight I see is your body dead
the sight that i saw
i like the smell of paper
i like the feel of ink
i like the formation of words
that show what i am thinking
my first poem was born
in 1996
when i was just a kid
i liked the smell of paper
i fell in love with it
This poet paints a pristine picture
Using unique written words

A kaleidoscopic kinship with kindness
An avalanche of artistry
Astoundingly absurd

This poet plays a pantomime of pathological perfection
This pristine painted picture was the sum of all her worth
i tried to paint a picture
I reflect upon your words
I reflect upon the absence of mine

I hear the hurt between the verbs
The cruelty layered upon the consonants

All I see is hate created from pain
All I see is toxic anger submerged in *******

I reflect upon your words
I reflect upon the absence of mine

I was going to bear witness
To your torturous sickness

But my faith is my deliverance and
My God taught me forgiveness.
she forgave her abuser.
Sorry does not mean anything
Anything at all
Don't bother even saying it
I've heard that word a million times before

Just make your mistakes
Reap what you sow
Karma has a natural way
Of evening the score
we damage our feet
squeezing into stilettos
we pluck our eyebrows
we polish our toes
we **** in our stomachs
afraid of what the scales will show
we scrub ourselves with a thousand lotions
spray ourselves with perfumes
it's as if we need to be sanitised
from the dirtiness that we learnt from the womb
from all the messages that we've consumed
messages insidiously obscuring the truth
what it means to be a woman
i don't care about what you can do
i care about what you can do for me
If you don't value the truth
How can you decipher what is lies?
If you sell off your integrity
You'll be hollow inside
Value what is true and you will live a fulfilled life
oh, how I value the truth
Her hands were busy making coffee

The cafe her home as much as her work place

Idle hands is a disastrous plan

Time unproductive is time wasted

This much, she understands

She is ever efficient in the kitchen

Wash, dry, put away, organise

A worker's favourite routine memorised

Her hands are making coffee for a patron

They take the coffee without saying hi

The honest hard work of the waitress  

Gets ignored time after time
they take the coffee without saying hi
i wonder if you know the way to my insides
i wonder if you know the way to my soul
i wonder if you could find your way past the stop sign in my mind
speed through the traffic lights flashing
RED! RED! RED!
invade the secret hiding spots inside of my head
i wonder if you're capable of such disrespect
or would you politely ask me instead?
i wonder if you know the way to my insides
She was a woman,
Inside a woman,
Inside a woman

The female definition of sisterhood
Emanating from her,
An aura of arduous existence
Of suffrage meeting resistance

She was bent over in lamentable labour
Bearing the weight of the world on her shoulders
Forgetting what men had tried to tell her
That she was an object to be sold and squandered

Through ever contentious contraction
She cried out in excruciating passion
But by the end of it all
She held in her hands
A creation of truth
That no man
Could truly understand
the universal woman
some things you should really think about
some things you should not think about at all
identifying these
can be one's saviour
or one's downfall
saviour or downfall
I am only thirty one
So why do I feel so tired?
I feel like I'm fighting a war
Running a race that I cannot win
Yet when I look in the mirror
I still see a little blonde girl
With a ***** face and a cheeky grin
Why hold onto memories from so long ago?
Why can I never quite move on?
I do not feel like I'm thirty one
i do not feel like i'm thirty one
to all the ones who were pushed away
labelled a drain
by the ones who were supposed to love you

to all the ones who were bullied
to humiliation
past the point of reconciliation

to all the ones who were cruelly abused
denied a voice
refused the chance to be heard

to all the ones who are still hurt

i am here and this one is for you
this one is for you
If kindness is weakness
I am proud to be weak
When you lie in bed at night
Alone with your ***** conscience
Remember that I'm sleeping soundly
i sleep soundly
Vivacious, visionary with a temper
Writes all of her anger out on paper
The man who left
The woman she holds
The man who makes her wait
Three people who occupy her heart space

Kind, creative poet with a mission
To share words with anybody who will listen
A poem about hope
A poem about change
A poem about incandescent love
Three poems that were spoken from the heart

Empathetic encourager with the soul of a mother
Teaching the art of loving each other
A lesson on patience
A lesson on forgiveness
A lesson on compassion
Three lessons that were all taught with passion
three people. three poems. three lessons
Two women in a timeless love
Two broken hearts coming undone
Once upon a time they were little girls
Now they're full grown
Learning a script they've always known
Rehearsing till dawn
Lines forever drawn
Two women in a timeless love
Roles recorded on their hearts
Two healing hearts performing as one
timeless love
Anger is such a time waster
Friend of Bitter and Selfish
Anger is such a toxic liar
Playing games with Manipulation
Starting wars with Integrity
Anger is such a time waster
I know this with complete certainty
For the best friend of Anger is me
anger is such a time waster
How do you know when to stop
When you have never gone too far?
When there is no finish line
When nobody has made it a crime
You keep on running
Keep on hurting
Every single time
how do you know when to stop?
if I were you
what would you have done?
would you have shut your mouth?
would you have conformed?
would you have won?

if I were you
would you have been counted
would I have needed to be brave?
would I have chosen to stay the same?
would I have found a reason to stay?

we can ask these questions
until questions no longer exist
either way,
we won't find out the answers
we will never be trading places
until questions don't exist
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