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  Apr 2018 Azrapse
bex
Oh, Winter...
She says, “Come hither...”

She is an alluring *****
with her pure and virginal whites,
chaste as an egg.  Mm hmm.

Her flash frosts,
her intricate, fleeting diamonds,
her dew when she warms
drips and drops into ******* spears...
She pulls you in.

She pulls on you,
draws you,
milks you to the core.

She whispers “Come hither...”
in her squalls,
but she leaves only shells.
Such small feathered things,
stiffened and dead,
touched by Winter’s hand.

But she is beautiful,
and you...
You can not help yourself.
Azrapse Apr 2018
i feel like i have a curse on me
or maybe im just a magnet
and i only attract negativity
everything in my life
goes from bad to worse
even when i try to be happy
i cant even fake that im happy
i wonder what i did
for karma to hate my guts
maybe i did some bad
but i cant recall
me ever having this much bad intentions
with my actions
or maybe that just how karma works
it tortures you till you cant breath
im overwhelmed
tired
i wonder what would happen
if i decided to slit my wrists
with my luck
someone would find me
and id end up locked inside a nut hut
my life probably isnt really that bad
i know some people have it worse
but in my mind i cant find peace
and its been slowly killing me
i really want this nightmare to end
but i havent gone to sleep
only in my dreams can i escape reality
when i wake i enter insanity
im tired of driving myself crazy
Azrapse Apr 2018
beauty cant you see you make my heart bleed
beauty cant you see your the one for me
beauty cant you see you the way you hurt me
beauty cant you see i just really want to leave
beauty cant you see you make my days shine bright
beauty cant you see your my only light
beauty cant you see when you walk away
you leave me in the dark, i dont wanna play
hide and seek with you
i just want
to be found
Slow song
  Mar 2018 Azrapse
N
You see my brown skin
And assume I'm a ****.

You see my hijab
And assume I'm a terrorist.

You see the smile on my face
And assume I'm happy.

You hear my words
And assume I'm okay.

But I am not.

Instead I am broken.
Yet I am also strong.

I am dark and rule-following.
I am peaceful and Muslim.

You assume based on
Society's POV.

If you smile
You must be happy.

Fox, CNN, any media
Tells you I am a terrorist.
So the names I get called
And the extra security checks
Are extremely upsetting.

The murders of black folk
Is either considered appropriate
Or it's "black on black crime"
So it's not taken seriously.

Who are you gonna believe
Me or those who don't know me?
Azrapse Mar 2018
I walked outside
Shirtless at night
Shivering in the cold
Misty breeze
I couldn’t sleep tonight
My anxiety has me hyped out
I layed on the damp grass
To look up at the sky
I see the moon
It’s halfway empty
The stars flicker
The clouds swallow the sky
It starts getting darker
The mist turns into a light rain
My eyes get wet
I sit up
My body is drenched
I’m not cold anymore
I can still see the moon
There is a rainbow ring
The clouds are bright
It’s a nice sight
My dogs lay beside me
The malteese lays on my lap
My Shepard sits beside me
On guard
His posture like a soldier
Unmoving like a statue
I don’t feel so alone
Azrapse Mar 2018
People break
Reasons there are many
I wish I knew how to fix the world
Everything around me
Seems to crumble
I just want it all to stay
But what I need the most
Seems to run away
I don’t know if I need love
Or just some company
Someone to sit beside me
So I won’t feel so alone
Some days I look down at my shadow
And think “you only leave my side at night”
That’s when I need someone the most
My thoughts eat away at my soul
Like a pack of wolves hunting prey
My mind is weak from all these thoughts I locked inside me
Like a volcano the pressure just keeps rising
I’m going to blow the top
See my head pop like a magnum to the dome
Blood would spill like lava hot to the touch
My body in time would turn to ashes
Then my broken self
Would rejoin the world
Like a phoenix from my ashes I will rise again .
Azrapse Mar 2018
My feelings faded away
Now all I feel is blue
I wonder why I’m so down
I’m always high
It doesn’t make sense
So I try some **** that’s more intense
I live with a bottle glued to my hand
And I have bottles of pills on deck
These drugs I self prescibe
Just to make me feel alive
The liquor helps me smile
But it makes me feel more numb
This **** helps me think
But it makes me more dumb
This yay makes my whole life feel A’okay
But it’s really ******* up my brain.
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