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54 · Apr 5
Is
Austin Apr 5
Is
Everything you didn't ask for
Nothing like the last *****

Said I wouldn't let feelings creep
Now we're rolling way too deep

You know me far too well
Now you see my complete hell

Not who you want
Not when you wanted it
Not who you need
Not when you needed it

Both still here so that's just life.
54 · Apr 5
Swing
Austin Apr 5
Please strike me down
Wearing that ******* crown
Sitting on a chair of bones
You watched me rot
Deep inside
I bathe in gasoline so please
Throw the match
Start denying me
I'd love to watch you scream
You cannot judge
Watch me swing from the rope
Been dead for a while now
Let me hang
Spread my hands wishing
To be a martyr
But I'll never be remembered for that
Just a mistake in your past
54 · Jul 26
down ya go
Austin Jul 26
when it comes
there's that
feeling
and now everything
begins to
slip
when it passes
there's no
feeling
and now everything
continues to
slip
54 · Apr 26
¿Duality?
Austin Apr 26
I don't want to feel anything
Yet I complain when I feel nothing.

I don't want to find love again
Yet I complain when no one wants me.

I don't want to talk anymore
Yet I complain when I'm not heard.
53 · Jun 9
Unidentified
Austin Jun 9
Trying to figure out
Who I am
Is like
Trying to combine
Bits and pieces
Of shredded papers
Sound bites that
Don't go together
Videos that
Don't look like me
Or at least
Who I thought I was?
52 · Apr 26
(U)
Austin Apr 26
(U)
You're beautiful
Carefree and forgiving
Loyal and perfectly imperfect
Who would've thought
Your greatest flaw would be

Me
52 · Sep 1
doubtfully
Austin Sep 1
Somehow it feels
I've been misplaced
Shouldn't be here now
Wishing I had been there then
Somehow it feels
I've been replaced
Can't be there now
Praying I'll be there then
51 · Jul 28
Proclivity
Austin Jul 28
Hold me
With the gentleness
You would give
A flickering candle

Touch me
As tenderly as you can
As if you are operating
On an open wound

Kiss me
As hurriedly as you wish
As if we aren't going to get
One more singular moment
51 · Sep 26
Counterclockwise
Austin Sep 26
Wallow in the joy
Celebrate in the misery
Never watered the roses
Always played with the thorns
Dying under a rainbow
Living peacefully in the storm
Drink the blood
Waste the champagne
Keep rotting with time
To bide it entirely backwards
51 · Jul 21
lovesick
Austin Jul 21
I understand why people
Call it lovesick
It can be meant in the way of
You're toxic to my system
And make me ill
Or it can be meant in the way of
When you stare at me
I sweat
And when you are gone
I fret
When you touch me
I shiver
And when you are gone
I wither
Personally?
I love being lovesick.
50 · Sep 19
Mortality Salience
Austin Sep 19
Ah, a damaged wing,
Not the endeth of the w'rld,
Somebody shall cometh,
Taketh me in,
Maketh me anew.

Nobody is coming,
High-lone on the f'rest flo'r,
I shall surely perish h're,
By rot 'r predator,
I prayeth tis soon.
50 · Sep 1
sp/lit
Austin Sep 1
my eyes are always heavy
and i know im not better
my hands remain unsteady
i know i shouldn't worry
and i know youre fine since i left
my crying only makes things blurry
i guess i hope you miss me
and i hope you know peace and love
while i work through the misery
50 · Sep 24
Deliquesce
Austin Sep 24
Melting like a crayon
Near an unattended flame
The equivalence of a boulder
Under a microscope
Just can't escape your heat
Can't escape your gaze
Picking petals across the room
Must be self-sabotage with
The amount of implosion going on
Dangling on every word
No different than a cigarette on lips
And there won't be any end
Till one of us decides
Who ruins who tonight
50 · Sep 21
Close the Curtains
Austin Sep 21
Unsure if its clarity
Or just simply bliss
But sure its a rarity
To feel like this

Unsure if its quiet
Or just peace in my head
But sure that I like it
So keep me in bed
49 · Aug 23
empty vessel
Austin Aug 23
as much as you
stabbed me in the back
as much as i
slit both of my wrists
as much as you
squeezed my heart
as much as i
claimed to be alright
suppose you should know
you can't **** something
that has already died
49 · Aug 18
why bother
Austin Aug 18
all i ask for
is to not be
a horrific reminder
of all my flaws
is just a bit
of the closure
that i lack
is to just
be what i have
been dying for
49 · Jul 15
esto o aquello
Austin Jul 15
Guilty pleasures
Rooted in
Traumatic treasures

You can either
Turn off the lights
Or we can sit
And both go to therapy
49 · 5d
On and On
Austin 5d
This
Cannot go on
Losing
Each little argument
Feeling
My words land on severed ears

This
Keeps happening
Losing
Each little battle
Feeling
My actions land on dead consciences
49 · Sep 14
Bubbles
Austin Sep 14
Everything seems
Too distorted
Too chaotic
Too much.

So I will forget
How to swim
To drown it
All out.
49 · Jul 15
Đ (Alternate)
Austin Jul 15
Divination
Sought out
By Dreamers
Sinners who
Held out
Desperation
Controls those
Who Don't
Wanna Die
Without somewhere
To belong
Pleading for
Deliverance
Enticing Dogma
You Don't
Believe in
Austin Sep 22
I am well read
My work is not
I would trade
My eyes
To be in others
I would offer
The words
To be mentioned
On anyone's tongue
The time will come
Surely my desperation
My passion
And my ability
Will grant me the validation
That has crippled me
To have been doing this for so long
To have hid it for years upon tears
To now place myself on the stage
To find myself and to find the many
47 · Jun 7
Honestly?
Austin Jun 7
I get asked questions
That I
Have already tortured myself with
For years
I get defensive
While being offered guidance
I get fueled by false hope
That someday
I'll have the wherewithal
To wake up
Look myself in the mirror
And be okay with what I see
But for now
Therapy blows chunks.
47 · Aug 30
Completely Incomplete
Austin Aug 30
Half of me
Wants to change
Half of me
Wants a dose
Half of me
Needs to be better
Half of me
Needs to feel worse
All of me
Knows what I am
But I only feel like
Half of me
47 · Jul 15
Blind Eye
Austin Jul 15
I go from
3 days of a slumber
To pleasures and rage
Hating me but lusting for you
Times of hopelessness
Thoughts of suicide
To gripping a wheel
Doing over 140
Self wallowing
Hiding in darkness
To feeling immortal
Impulsive purchases
And everytime this flip happens
I feel half of me turn and
Look the other way
46 · Aug 24
Two-Bit Man
Austin Aug 24
Confronting the words
      That dictate my headspace
The same ones that make me
      Feel as if I do not belong here
           To look at a bottle of pills
               Hoping they would just fall
                    Right down my throat
                       So I could say I didn't do it
The same ones that make me
          Feel as if I am not enough
                  And never will be
                       So I entertain ideations
                             And wonder, why not?
46 · Jun 7
54
Austin Jun 7
54
I sit here
Chewing holes in my mouth
Worrying
That someday soon
I'll be begging for the
Mercy
I never gave to myself
46 · Jul 23
Final Hurrah
Austin Jul 23
Where will you be
When the party ends
Metaphorically I ask
Will you be covered
In golden glitter
Or passed out in the front yard
Like a drunken ***
Will you be safe at home
Cause your friends cared
Or jumping over fences
Cause they gave up on you
Will you be the one upstairs
With someone you shouldn't
Or praying to something for help
When you thought you wouldn't
The party always ends
46 · Apr 26
Pamyat'
Austin Apr 26
They say I need to move on
Say I can't see the ghost of you
Yet I don't even have that
Memories that don't exist suddenly
Photographs burned out of spite

I look in the rear view and
Don't even have the ghost of you?
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