First it's the knees that let us down,
then it's our back and arms.
Next we lose our balance
and we struggle to move along.

We worry about all kinds of things,
paranoia is no ones friend.
Problems increase and multiply,
they just never seem to end.

Now our teeth start to crumble,
no longer the grinding mill.
We visit the dentist often,
as we have certain teeth to fill.

Our taste buds start to fail us
and we struggle with our sight.
We would love to go out in the evening
but we get scared when it's dark at night.

Do you remember when we were younger,
when we were in our youth?
We really were so happy,
our photos are living proof.

But now we are much older,
our youth is left in the past.
Those days we still remember,
oh if only those days would last.

LOVE AND LOVERS

by

TOD HOWARD HAWKS


Chapter 26

"I still suffer from PTSD. I take medications to help me sleep. Those bodies, all those bodies, arms, legs, bodies with no heads, old people, young men, children slaughtered, so many burnt to ashes and blackened bones by ******. Screams as loud as bombs exploding, silence louder than children laughing, a nightmare that has lasted years. And I ordered thousands and thousands and thousands of young men to their deaths, and now I cry myself to sleep. The medals, the ribbons pinned on my chest I came to detest. I have long ago burnt all my uniforms, but I cannot extinguish the horrors I planned and ordered. Love, and only love, gives my some solace. Love is my salvation, my only salvation."

Mr Ly then sat down on the sofa, wiping tears pouring down his checks. Bian and Jon sat on either side of him, holding him, hugging him. Not a word could be said. Only silence could be shared.

Finally, Bian said to her father whom she loved so much, "Father, forgive yourself. Love is the weapon against war. Killing, murdering, mutilating have been the way of human life for millennia, but now you and many others are fighting to right this wrong and bring everlasting peace to Earth."

The sun was beginning to set in Johannesburg. The three walked out on the balcony.

"After we defeated the French, I remember walking with my best friend to the beach. We threw rocks into the ocean. We were just boys having fun. We would roll up our pant legs and walk into the waves, splashing each other with our hands. We laughed. We were boys. Little did we know that we would be next, that so many who had been our childhood friends would also need to fight the fire of battle and death, that so many of them would have to perish."

The sun set below the ridge of Witwatersrand and the three walked back inside.

You might be surprised by what people read
at the kitchen table
in the evening
with dinner to the side

As for where to die?  
At the kitchen table
like my neighbor Betty—

slumped over her newspaper
arms above her white and lonely head.

Goodbyes are apt to set the record straight,
as if we've stumbled through an iron gate;
Correctly now we take the hint from above,
there's nothing left for us not even love.

I remember the day I met him, skinny body and blad head,
Unusual walk and words with disordered pauses that led,
I remember looking at the sky and complaining, "why'd you do this to him?"
I saw him absurdly smile at me and my eyes were filled with tears up to the rim,
It was hard to look into his innocent eyes, they reminded how gifted I was,
I consoled myself by reasoning that maybe it is karma and that unvierse has its laws,
But then I saw him yesterday encircled by hundreds of people, begging for mercy,
Most of the people beating him, were just showing off their courtesy,
Collectively they pleasured the sadistic joy to watch him helplessly quaver in pain,
Everybody stood anchored hearing his cries while they turned his body into grains,
My body was shaking and palms sweating, I couldn't watch him bleeding,
But like a coward I stood there, waiting for those hungry wolves to stop feeding,
My heart dwindled to a state of non existence seeing the tears in his father's eyes,
I know he was wrong when he touched that eight year old girl between her thighs,
His mother shouldn't have told him to run away and nuture all the lies,
But one chance is all he asked for, when his feeble gaze chisled my eyes.

I try to find you in the rainforest, but cannot chase you in these infinite gigantic woods,
Though I see you in the white dress with that pretty smile, but you disappear till I reach you,
Every inch of this rainforest chants your name, you influence the weather and the colour of the hue,
I was blinded by the clouds and knowing the mistakes I made, I myself shall correct them too,
One day I'll storm, rains will wash away the fallen leaves, and I myself shall destroy the roots,
I wish I could keep the good memories, the fruits and the flowers, but I won't keep even the smell of you.

He was a simple guy with no big dreams,
He used to watch horror movies just to hear her screams.
She was as beautiful as an angel from heaven,
Perfect red and sweet as a  fresh watermelon.
She said she had come from a strange place,
Their friendship had just taken a good pace.
The Warmth of her body made him forget all his pains,
Her soft hands had become a necessity for the blood in his veins.
He felt her as protective as the earth's ozone,
He felt she would never ever leave him alone.


But one day she vanished like a meteor in the universe,
Maybe it was all a dream, but his rest life felt like a curse.
He had spent his best days of his life with her,
He didn't know that she ll make him suffer.
No one knew where she had gone,
With a broken heart he was left alone.
He  spent nights wandering about the street,
Hoping for just one last meet.
But Nothing was expected to be better,
He remained just a lifeless piece of matter.
His only moon for the nights had vanished,
She was the only girl whom he had cherished.
On this night of despair he was alone,
Left with a broken heart , rather a stone.
Will his love drive him to her ?
Maybe god had chosen him to suffer.

You do not appear to me as the light of the sun,
You rather appear dark, like a curvy fabric of space pulling me,
I fail to find the stillness in you, to sail past unharmed,
You are like a hypnotising blue wave, promising fun in drowning,
I know I should've turned the ship away, before it was too late,
But silly soul had planned the adventure, before conscience was awake.