I love the way you come crawling back

Sing false promises

How birds chirp meaningless melody

Turn white morning air to grey diluted clouds

I appreciate how nature is always concrete

Honking goodbyes are fowl flying above our foolish heads

In dark black pupils stories rooted so deep they will never be told

Against skies of blue-black and pink pose in continuous grace

I adore the way you hunt me like a wild predator prowling for it's next meal

I keep track of the number of times you plunge on me
Teeth puncturing prey
Tearing into shreds

And dreams we shared shatter before my empty eyes

You'll come back
You always do

Attracted due to an invisible natural force
Too dynamic to resist

Are you ready to try?
Will I be left behind?
You listen to what I say
Not sure if I'm okay

I'm writing songs
Words come out wrong
Taking time
Let you inside

Chorus:
Don't let the days go by
Dopamine
Dopamine
Dopamine

To reach beyond walls
Can't grasp trust at all
Just pick me apart
Exposing who we are

This house ain't home
I live here alone

Chorus:
Don't let the days go by
Could have been easier on you
Couldn't change though I wanted to
Should have been easier on three
Old friend fear and you and me
Dopamine
Dopamine

Need to feel alive again
Need to feel alive again
Stuck in prison

Even when we care
Life seems unfair
No place I can see
Where I am free to be me

Chorus:
Don't let the days go by
Could've been easier on you
You
You
Dopamine
Dopamine
Don't let the days go by
Dopamine
Dopamine
Dopamine

The poet's heart is full of adoration
Quietly observant, yet unaware
Yearning to spread joy throughout the globe
Show every last person how much it does care.

To be viewed for the rarity it truly is
Also partly hidden out of sight
Timid, reluctant to uncover all colors
In a world that sees only in black and white.

I bet someone else
Is so lonely like I am
All by themselves tonight

It is hard to believe I am 24
Where have years all gone?
I've tried and tried to stop time
Hours continue ticking on
This short life is precious
Existence goes to waste
All the good this world offers
I have had only but a taste
I love watching every sunset
Hate what they all mean
Wish I was still young
Thinking what could've been

You had me in boxes stashed under your bed
Understanding I was locked away
Didn't want to let me inside your head
To own more than each passing day
You kept out of danger
Towered over to protect
Waiting
Crawling somewhere stranger
Prey limping with a broken neck
But that wasn't intention
Comes at the darkest part of night
Unrelenting unforgiving tention
Never saw before in my sight
Dragging heavy eyes along bathroom tile
I can't pull them away
You and I wrapped in compulsion we compile
Here I am heart on display

When we met everything was incredible
Nothing ever stays the same
Loved ones always change over time
We have only ourselves to blame

It is never easy to move on
Never simple to let go
It is hard to give you up because
You are the only guy I really know

It hurts so bad I cannot even explain
How worthlessly empty you make me feel
I want to wake up tomorrow
And find out none of this is real

I do not know what to say
To help you understand
You're the only guy I'd ever
Want to hold my faithful hand

I don't know what words to use
To make you amply see
You mean so much more
Than any other thing does to me

I cannot explain what you do to me
It's beyond the realm of what words can say
But despite the scary mystery
Would not want it another way

You are the answer to my prayers
Clique as this poem may sound
I never understood sappy quotes before
You flipped my life upside-down

Touched me and I realized
You were my destined counterpart
And that my world would never be the same
Forever you've altered my mind and my heart

These butterflies are
Turning into antelope
Stampeding inside

Porcelain cracks
My heart is made of plastic

Earth will quake
Glass will shatter
Ceramic vases and statues falling to the ground and breaking apart
China plates will smash
Pieces scattering zillions of different directions

But me
Body will remain strong and unscathed
While others try gluing themselves back together in vain

Holding head in place until the shaking is through so the screws holding it on don't rattle loose

And I am not sure when this transformation occurred
It used to break often
After one too many beatings it evolved into this cold lump in my chest
Safe and sound regardless of who tries to destroy it

Welcomed by Mother's well-meaning embrace
Touch tender as a trap could be
How could my poor mother know?
The path laid for her precious baby?

Naivety must have rendered her blind
To awful truths of this life
Pain is inevitable for everyone
No one escapes sorrow and strife

A happy bubble flourished years I was small
Raised a sweet girl who made her proud
Four members of a perfect family
Tucked in each night warm, safe, and sound.

Had riches beyond measure when I was young
I treated it like dirt
Ungrateful for blessings owned
I'd never experienced hurt

Time unwillungly thrusted me forwards
Stole innocent hours one by one
After that problems rushed swiftly in
Unappreciated happiness forever done

Heartbroken heaviness settled in my bones
Weight growing larger still as days go by
If mom had paused to really think her decision through
Would she have chosen to birth a daughter who would rather die?

Disarmed defenses
Under false pretenses
Deceiving all five senses

I sit to write this poem and what do I see?
The paper holds a spot of blood
Better inspiration there couldn't possibly be
More accurate metaphor for who I've become

I remember how the planet buzzed when I felt alive
Wrote fun about simpler subjects
Now notebook is the only safe space to confide
Slew of hidden horrors
Stories
Regrets

I remember each
"what if"
I let slip away
I'm feeling low
Their ghosts drop by
Taunting with foggy images of wasted yesterdays
Thrown away to get high

My back pressed against a wall
Words I hate to admit are true
Guess I was wrong after all
Said people don't change but they do

I met someone who restored faith in humanity
Only for a little while

Very kind
Polite

The kind of person idolized

While at the lowest point
My life
Reached down from a high point in his and helped me climb up a few notches

We once got along
All we do is fight
Rarely a decent kiss
We say goodnight

I have grown to be a problem
You don't understand
I snap more easily
Than a flimsy rubber band

We do not agree on much these days
Unsure who to blame
Tired of back-and-forth
Always ends the same

In violent outburst
You won't let me leave
Without way to escape
Feel like I can't breathe

So I claw your forearms
Still don't let me go
As if restraints calm me down
In fact make rage grow

The reason I get angry
Because I tell you how I'm feeling
In return you dish out comments
Make me hit the ceiling

After our time together
Obviously still have no clue
Who the **** I actually am
Or wouldn't say the things you do

You accuse of not being truthful
You're the one who's a compulsive liar
Doubt stings like a slap in the face
Tension between grows higher

We fail to find common ground
To see eye-to-eye
If compromise isn't found
We will be forced to say goodbye

My lonely mind will not let me forget
All the details that make up who you are
The marks left on your surface and within
Down to every last blemish and scar

I'm reminded of your gentle hands
The patterns they traced on my skin
A single touch is all it took
For your sweet poison to seep in

I still taste your kiss on my lips
The pressure from yours in the dark
Friction unlike any before or since
Only your caress ignites that spark

Every morning when I wake
From another tortured dream
I stare into my coffee mug
And feel your hot breath rise with the steam

I look to the sky and see your eyes
Gazing back into my own
The identical shade of blue
As your irises is what I'm shown

The sunshine softly lands on my cheeks
I can't help but recall the heat
From the blood rushing under your flesh
Through your veins, the glow is bittersweet

The wind whispers your name to me
A wispy echo in my ears
I weakly attempt to stop the sound
Yet nothing can tame these shameful fears

When I drive I turn up the music
Hoping to drown out thoughts of you
To no avail, the bass thumps the
Exact rhythm your heartbeat used to

Raindrops collect on the window
Like the tears that formed on your lashes
Fragments of our past keep coming
Back to me in sporadic flashes

My bed has grown to twice the size
It was before this tired dispute
I wrap myself in blankets but
For your arms there is no substitute

I have replaced your chest with my pillow
It lies there stoic, seeming too still
The absence of your exhaling lungs
Keeps me awake against my will

I remember every inch of you
Lost in what was, I'm losing control
Your memory is a phantom
Clinging to my heart, haunting my soul

A glass of whiskey will not stop the pain
Sweet as it might taste
Broken
Too empty for *****
Would be a waste

I am trying not to blame you
For what you cannot change
You are more than a paper doll
With pieces to pick, pull apart, and exchange

Your words are smooth satin
Can't help but suspect your nonchalance
Know I can be standoffish
It's simply an automatic response

Patterns I am used to
Behavior I am around
Have me guarded for great reason
Heartache all I have ever found

It is not your fault you hurt me
Instead it's mine for expecting you to keep
Promises when you have shown before
You will only break them and make me weep

No noticable change in behavior
Don't know why I'm surprised
Don't know why I thought anything would be different
Need to accept a future of secrets and lies

I meet new obstacles daily
Alibis I have to chop down
I think I've finally given up
Only a matter of time til I drown

Weeks passed since any bliss touched our lives
With each day that goes by we deepen the space
Driving ourselves insane with obsession
Madly in love with you, but you only love the chase

A game of tug-o'-war neither can win
Love has us struggling to get along and agree
It is time to realize I'll never change you
Just like you cannot change me

Expenses are accumulating around us
Trying to remain calm, I crumble, can't save face
I apologize sincerely for falling apart
And for putting us in this tough place.

If asked why I hold onto love so tightly even when it's killing me
I'd say because it's the only escape I've found from the pain of survival

How many wounds have healed by the graze of a tender touch?

Times you have crossed my path at the exact time I needed shelter from life's storm you made a roof out of your attentive arms to protect me

I would say  thank you but my mind can't create a "Thanks" big enough to display my infinite gratitude

It is easier for me to say "sorry" for not showing my love than to try and come up short

You never knew you were my once-upon-a-time because I was too embarrassed to confess to you that I believe in fairytales

Which has left us on two very different pages