You light me up like a Christmas tree
And I feel so juvenile
But I'm too chicken to say how I feel
Because I'm still in denial

Because there's so many words you've said
And I've wondered if they were for me
With so many words that I've said
You were always listening

Because I remember my words
And it appears you did too
You're a very good listener
For someone I've rarely spoken to

Because I'm running towards you
But is this the right way to go
I'm chasing after someone
Who I don't even know

We're flirting with the line
And I'm on the edge
Are you going to cross
Or stay true to your pledge

You may not have all of me,
for all I cannot give.

But you can have the part
of me only you know
was hid.

You reached inside my
darkness and gave me back
my light.

You gave to me so easily
and held me through the
night.

You washed away the
doubts I had with every
gentle kiss.

And brought the kind of
passion I never knew I
missed.

You may not have all of me
for all of me I cannot give.

But you can have the part
of me that no one ever did.                                            Jon York   2019

Night 1:
I spend my last, and hurting days
Attempting to erase your face,
And the memory of your last hug:
Fingers tugging on the lace
of my dress,
and the purple velvet of the blanket,
Covering both our skins,
Our vulnerability,
And passion.

Night 2:
I am trying to forget,
But you stained me like ashes from a cigarette
On the white fabric you used to wear.
Or still do... who knows?
You haunt me, but I come to trace your silhouette,
And ****, you’re gone again—
Maybe protected in the shadows.

Night 3:
Where are you today, my joy?
Where am I?
I hopelessly wander the empty, sandy dunes,
Watching the full infinite moons
Pass by.

Night 4:
I never thought I would be the one to leave you—
I always thought it would be the other way around.
I am truly lost...
The sandy dunes are, in fact, hills of beige frost,
And I am scared;
I am scarred.
You’re an irreplaceable piece of art,
And I’m too far from where you are.

Night 5:
My hands are shaken, and are bruised.
I am ashamed; I am confused.
Clearly, the only way to **** off a memory is through abuse.
I learned to take a pill—
It does claim to have my pain reduced!
And the velvet,
And the lace,
Are appearing to erase.
Then goes a smudge of colour;
Next, leaves a seraphic face...
What was the purpose of a greyish-blueish gaze?
Who knows?
Who am I?
Who are you?
Who is who?
  I am no one anymore;
  For there is no one to adore.

I had my first dream last night that you weren't in.
not even a minor character,
your ****** name wasn't even in the credits,
let alone plastered across the sky in flashing lights
like you want it to be.
my first reality that you didn't belong in,
and it was the most blissful peace that I can remember since we bathed in pools of cloud.

I heard the first song that didn't make me think of you yesterday.
the lyrics, for once, were just lyrics,
not an embodiment of you and the things you do.
guess what?
it was coldplay.
you always hated coldplay.

this morning, I basked in the sun and didn't picture you coated in gold light beside me.
I didn't look at the leaves adorning the trees and picture your face laughing beneath it.

I didn't trace the plate lines of my palm and imagine the earthquake we used to create when yours collided with mine.

I didn't eat new food that I wanted you to try and I didn't want to share the smallest details of my day with you.

you may have won this poem, loverboy,
but don't be too triumphant.
your victory won't last long.
it's the era of my new beginnings without you and I'm going to be just fine.