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We only see each other
Through pixels on a screen
But the way you live your life
Makes me want to scream

Once beautiful and pure
You've given into drugs
And now your arms are too thin
To give out your famous hugs

Eyes glossed in every picture
It's enough to break your heart
Your smile and your aura
Were once a work of art

And I know that you are struggling
It's something we all do
I hope someday you reach out
And stop destroying you.
Old friends die hard.
You’re undecided whether you like me better blonde or brunette
it doesn’t matter as my hair is dying and coming loose.
I’ve abided to the unspoken terms of complete regret,
I made my bed, I’ll lie in it, tucked in tight as a noose.
Lifeless eyes that are overwhelmed with saggy lids,
so very tired but they’re still searching for a spark.
Feeling unwanted and rejected but still accepting bids,
but I belong on the sidelines and kept in the dark.

We can talk to each other about anything and everything
as long as it’s spoken in non corresponding code.
I’m at a dinner party fasting with nothing to bring,
at the wrong house on the wrong road.
You’re trapped in the maze that is my mind,
and that place may just become your home.
I’d direct you out if there was an exit I could find,
but even breaking down the perimeter reveals a dome.

Won’t you please be kind,
and please rewind.
Travel back and find,
the roots where we bind.
Stained from tear streaked flushed cheeks
and shredding through each line,
months became years but first days became weeks
and I still reply “I’m fine.”
It gets weaker every time.

She said “if your scared of ghosts then you’ll hate falling in love.”
It’s like an empty house and you’re the host
but there’s noises coming from above.
Every single door is closed
no matter how persistent you knock,
and you’re left feeling like you’ve imposed
on the person who convinced you to walk.

You can keep repeating it,
until you start believing it,
but my dear, we both know the real deal.
And I’ve been retreating in,
pouring out and bleeding in,
I’m already dead but when will I keel?

Won’t you please be kind,
and please rewind.
Travel back and find,
I’m half deaf but fully blind.
My home’s become the floorboard that creeks,
and my heart’s a vacant gold mine,
months became years but first days became weeks
and I still reply “I’m fine.”
It gets weaker every time.

A star never falls the same twice
and each week the moon has a new face,
I’ve been treading carefully but still slipping on ice,
I thought it was the tortoise that won the race?
And now my heart is booming
and beating straight out of my chest,
cardiac arrest is looming,
it’s been too long since it’s had a rest.

In all my over thinking I’ve never had a wishful thought,
this will be the last time I’ll wait around to see.
In all my over thinking I’ve never been satisfied with what I’ve got,
this will be the last time you can explain it all to me.

So my teeth grind, please be kind and rewind.
Maybe I was blind, please be kind and rewind.
Yes I’ve lost mind, please be kind and rewind.
Made beds to which we’re bind, please be kind and rewind.
That moment when you realize a lot of people on this site aren’t old enough to get the blockbuster reference.
 Dec 2018 Amanda Kay Burke
Ruheen
I'm as whole as my heart,
Even if it's frozen.
But I've got cracks on my surface.
That show you I'm broken.

But broken ice is still cold,
So broken people can be too.
Broken ice is still ice.............
Today my heart shattered again
A million pieces and one...two..
I am losing count
I'm losing you
Please crave me the way
I crave you
Your heart beat was mine and
You took that too
See my heart only beats for you but
You have a different view
Look on my arm
I bleed for you
Please love me
As much as you want her to love you
M.d
Macabre things make me smile
Too much for me to be sane.
Death arouses my inner child
Escaping me from the mundane.
Life is bitter while death is sweet
As the shadows haunt me
Down these now empty streets.
But in death I am one
With the night,
Dark as pitch and black tones,
Blue and violet bruises
Burning bright on my soul.
There were many times when even I
Felt the hum drum judgement of god
Thundering upon me through pale light,
You would have thought I'd been robbed...
In any case, if I should ever yell out in a rage
Or cry profusely over all the pain,
Bend down to my ear and
Remind me there are better days.
 Dec 2018 Amanda Kay Burke
RJ
Demons
 Dec 2018 Amanda Kay Burke
RJ
Sometimes I feel like nothing is right
Like there isn’t really a reason to fight
When it gets real bad I think that I might
Live and breathe for my final night.

These demons I resist but I’m getting weak
Their strength still grows reaching its peak
I feel like it’s my death that they seek
Urging me of them never to speak

“Don’t tell them that, they won’t understand
What it’s like to be dealt this terrible hand
Drifting through life seeing everything bland
Fighting each moment this pain to withstand”

“Just give in, it’ll never go away
Even if it does it’ll come back some day
You’ve tried to win but never found a way
To ease the pain with your life you’ll pay”

These are the thoughts that drift around
In my head they continually pound
Forcing me to chamber the round
That ends it all with a deafening sound
Maybe we met at the wrong time
In another life I would have made you mine
I think we need some time apart
You can't be the one to hold my heart
A married man can't love another
He can't take me under the covers
He can't make me feel the way he does
I just want to go back to the way it was
But what if you're the one who gets away
I might come to regret this someday
I shouldn't want you the way that I do
In 38 days I need to be over you
You need to stop making me feel this way
Love can't be put on layaway
You know how I feel and you did it again
Why did I ever let you in
05/30/2018
As the glue grasps the shards
And the splint heals the bone
Your love mends my heart's pieces
Repairing what's broken by thrown stones

© JL Smith
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