I lost you on a blacked out path
Steep, winding, layered in broken glass
I thought id tought you to stay on track
I thought you said you had my back
I was planning to come and find you,
Lost in leaves dotted with dew
The odds are your safe.
Torch in hand
But im worried you didnt make it to the promised land
I hope your safe now where you lay. I know that ill see you latter today
Be steadfast in your lonely sleep
For i am lieing here
Nothing left but fear
And the ache i get when your not here

I had a cold shower, and i didnt even notice

Wet feet  on the ground
Rain drops all around.
The veiw is intoxicating.
Sheet grey so monotonous its heart  breaking.
In the distance i see lights
Indicating that  there is life
But ill stand here.
In the rain
Waiting  to feel the pain of it all again

And the sun rises
On another nights wake.
and now the light has kissed my skin
I must close my eyes and feint
For hours of waking in the dark night
Have left my heart sore
And now with the suns warm love
I need to wake no more

to my life
and to my soul
to my heart
and in my bowls
welcome to my breakfast
and my dinners too
welcome to my love
and its scary to think
in little more then a blink
youve come from face pacing by
to the reason im alive,
so welcome <3

I love you.
Not your frills that could ****.
Or poka dot bullet holes color cordinated with skill

I love you
Not for your heart of gold or skin of silk
Not for your eye lashes or peircings, real or fake

I love you
Not because of who you are
But because of what you are.
Mine.

Please **** me

Why is the pain not gone

Why do I still feel like

all  the goodness in my life

Left

When  you pulled the knife   from his flesh

And twisted it into my back

To be dead is to be cold
still
unmoving
I am not dead
fluid
Full of motion
restless
I am a pen
on a screen
filled with words
made to sheen
it doesnt matter
  if my words lean
   it doesnt matter
    if my words  scream
     i am only dead
when i admit it

I love  you.
Not for the broken bits.
Not for the subtle curves that fit so smoothly into mine
Not  for your *******  or your *******
Your thighs or your giggles
Not for your smile (your a clown)
But you,
All love all of you.
From the tips of your fingers
To the bottoms of your toes
From your highs to your lows
I love you

I am tired.
You have no idea how tired.
My bones are aching.
splintering with the agony.             My craniums cracked.
Split like a boiled egg,
my soft core is spilling out.
Lie me with soldiers shoulder to shoulder
And I'm soft as buttered toast.
But i m trying. Dragging my back pack by my ankles
Pulling your soul with my teeth. And dragging us all down by my finger nails

Hey I know youll read this
Welcome to my life bub.

It's  a mess in here. My head  that is,
Broken glass and shrapnels of lead.
Ive hired  some cleaners before.  No ones ever come willingly
So it means alot that you want the job,
Because  this mess is killing me.

Shoulder
Shoulder
S**ulder
Should*­er

I want something i cant have

Something ive had before, soft and tender,

Something that isnt mine

Something thats on my mind

A woman

An Empty tank of gas
An Empty heart of glass
Empty thoughts
An Empty cranium now filled,with last resorts
An Empty spine, im a coward it seems
Empty skin, Im  too stuck to move forward, bursting with a lack of ambition at the seems.
An Empty tone,
An Empty phone,
An Empty house
An Empty home
Without you ill have:
nothing

my hips ache
they writhe in this...this angst,
this ecstasy
angst and ecstasy?
god there the same thing...
drive me up the wall, grit your teeth,
scream as the words press into your back
bit down, both lips ****** in, pucker up and ****
lie down ,lets ****
take me to a different place
not here but way down, deep inside me, take me somewhere else
make my head run circles around my mind
I'm series of thoughts wrapped in jagged bone
wrap me in bandages,
because in your arms I'm home, I'm safe I'm warm

the cuts don't bleed when your wrapped around them
taking you against my wall of words,

*L.G

I
airport walls
universty halls
hospital toilet stalls
for when nature calls
places to cold and clean
to sheen
places so white and clean
so fake and prestine
so healthy and safe


II

and all are for waste
the germs in hospital  stalls **** more
then the university walls see students
steering suicidely out windows and doors
looking for the quickest route to the floor
which might be four stories out of a window...
and into the paved covers of my concrete queen size
sleep for infinity what a way to rest my eyes
what a way to be alive
no stories to be told from dead eyes

out

Guess you dont see the full picture
Just think about yourself
Never someone else.
I cant ask you to understand
The pain in taking one last stand
No
Stopping was never a switch
A fuse to remove
Some wounds to re-sow
No
Stopping was missery.
Withdrawl rattled dreams shook me from my sleep.
No cure.
Days and weeks of work.
No sleep,
This could never work
I tried it all for you.
I worked harder then i ever have.
And now you think a relapse
Is all i ever am?
Next time i ask you to change your entire life
Dont blame me if its to hard
Dont blame me for the knife

Maybe if I wasn't so timid I'd have your hand.
Maybe If I was brave enough to crawl from  this front line trench I've dug  and cross the no mans land to your house I'd have your heart.
And maybe if I destroyed him in 10th grade like I thought I would he wouldn't be here to fight
And maybe if  I knew how to read you I might know how to respond... But I don't.
Im winging it like those 12 foot angels wings only I seem to see. And I know you don't.
But I've seen you carry the weight on your back like lead bars stuffed in your coffin. but sweet heart.
I love you
I truly do and although all I seem to do is second guess my ambition like alexander-the-not-so-great. I want to conquer your mind and your body like the romans who came after him.
So I'm sorry I'm not strait foreward.. And the path to my mind goes through my heart and the guide I suppliedkeeps stopping to rest.
But I'll say it.
Don't go
Don't go back.
Please stay. Stay right here with me. On the wrong side of enemy lines.
Sharing the wrong drink with the wrong man
Please stay.
One more sunset where I can call you mine...
Your all I want any more.
And maybe if you stay for 5 more minutes
Maybe you'll truely trip and fall
But I'll be here to catch you

Your an addict
                   I know
do you know what your doing to her?
                             I am reminded with every wheezed breath
do you know how much you mean to her?
                                            not a clue
do you think you can ever love her the way she loves you?
                                                            ­ *from the way things are going,
                                                          ­     I think im going to die trying

kindness is a virtue it is said,
is it really?
surely not,it is a necessity
my my, what has this world come too
eating our minds like candy floss,
time to change

If you hate me the feelings mutual
Im hating feeling this unusual
Nothing i say sounds useful
Im finding it hard to stay neutral

I love you  but i dont feel loved
I get kissed but i dont feel the  hug
Even though you arms are heavy with the emotions you want to portray.
And the things you say,
Are all good things
And the  ways youve shown me you care.
Are  all true to you

I feel nothing

I hate the emptyness inside  of me that should  be filled with  your love because  there's  a hole  in my chest
big Enough for a dove

To fly  away

I forget

Born in your tiny prison cell,
A million times smaller then you are,
One single drop and your risen up,
Afraid of the dark,

Flying forever.
Your  feet allways on the ground,
Fighting  with rapture,
No weapons around.

So sharpen your teeth,
Peel back their skin
Release whats underneath

Born in your tiny prison cell

A million times weaker then you are

One single  breath and your rising up

Not afraid of your path

Shake me
Hands wrapped in concrete dressed as lace
Venom.
Your presseance pulses it through my arteries. Thick as foul soup in my veins
Dance for me
Your dieing throws are Dante like the ballerinas twirls
But the crowd is jeering you like a circus clown
Flail your fists
Spit poison and fire
Your only making this performance
More tasteful

I became  what i said id never be, after you turned out to be what you allways said you weren't.

How do you fall  out of love
My heart feels heavy with  your memories
I want to clear some space
And find peace

Im nearing capacity.
Too cluttered  and corupted to care
I cant delete you
All that would be left is fear

So i drown  myself in sorrow
Addictions lust and love
For if im drunk untill tomorrow
I might find myself in love

Chest ache
Heart break
God I'll take no more

Head ache
For heavens sake
I cant take no more

You do it for fun
Just brag and then run
I know  your just his *****

So have your fun
I'll  stroke  this gun
And eagerly await
The gore

I'd put a bullet in my head if I didn't have
A trigger  for a spine

Heave
To and fro
Pull
Back and forwards.
Cut
Side to side
Jump
Up then so far down

Leave
I'm not worth being  around