I am flying high on a pair of wings that aren't mine
They're borrowed, bent, and a bit broken
But they carry me to places no one can see
Where I can be alone, at home, and ******
If you must then rip them from my back
Because all good things must end but may still begin again
Maybe someday I'll grow my own and let my true colors be shown
These wings they comfort me as they carry me over all that I can see
But I'm sure if I could just grow my own I could fly beyond all that I know

Sometimes I think what I say isn't what I mean
But I don't know the difference
I've got such a messy head
And I'm too worried about how to clean it best
I spend hours plotting how I'll find the motivation to move
But there's always a disruption once I get my groove
I say I want my freedom but I don't know what that means
Is it really freedom if you don't even know how to be
And I act like I'm too good for anyone and that they all sicken me
But the truth to that is that without them I wouldn't want to breathe

Please don't try to stop me
I have to get away
Even though I like it here
I simply cannot stay
Even though I like you near
I don't want to leave
But I can't shake this fear
Its worse than you'd believe
I wish you could save me, my dear
But don't, let me disappear

Waste your time
Take it in
Soon enough
Life will begin
Make no rush
Ease your pace
Only once
You'll see this place
Have no haste
Gather awe
Worry not
You'll feel it all

I come down from my last high and roll right into the next
I find places where I can hide but I never find no rest
I slip from my slumbers into hungry hornets' nests
And that sting, the sharp bleeding pain
Is the only thing left I crave

Such a sudden specter
A spirit I've felt before
Like raindrops on the glass, I can only watch as you pass through
And if I could catch a single drip for every time I've thought of you, I'd have enough to fill the entire ocean blue

Filled with fantastic fantasies
Memories I'll never make
Like airplanes in the atmosphere, I can only watch as you fly by
And if I could take flight every time that you cross my mind, I could soar forever and leave this world behind

I saw the wild cats playing in the street
They see me
They eat meat
I once tried to approach them, to see what they could teach
The one I spoke to told me, its best if you stay out of our reach
If you try to catch them, they'll always get away
You cannot control them, but if you're silent they might stay
You may try to tempt them, with a mouse or a fish
But should you ever feed one, be sure it doesn't bite your wrist

Can you hear it
The motors hum
Working behind
The rising sun
And can you see
The bits of rust
On these machines
Built to move us
A golden age
Progress proclaimed
We can't stop
Til its too late
The suns a slave
To our own needs
We'll work it dry
We'll make it bleed
The lap of luxury
Where we sit
Is built upon
Blood stained brick

If you have a problem, you should tell your friends, or whoever it is you depend on. They will listen, and they will try their best, or just give you a shoulder to rest on. And it shouldn't matter if they understand, because like you, your terrors are unique, and sometimes too great for you to even speak of. And if your friends are true, they'll always be there, and they'll always be prepared to tell you the truth that you are afraid of. If they tell you things that you believe must be lies, take a minute to realize, they would never want to hurt you for no reason other than your own good, they're just doing their job as all good friends should. Because when you're drunk and screaming at them about how you just want to die, they'll be thinking to themselves as they try not to cry, how life could be worth living if you were not alive. As you need them to keep you from losing your mind, this should come as no surprise, they need you more than you can see with your eyes.

You've got only one life to experience everything, so take every chance offered and ignore the call of safety, telling you to do what's been done before;

"Be like all those people who grew old and bored"

Do what you want and never take no for an answer, because tomorrow you could wake up and come down with cancer

Be anything and everything that your heart desires, because your body will likely break before you are ready to expire

I can't stand society
I can't handle sobriety
And I don't know why
But I can't see
What this world has got for me

Too many people are here today
Too many idiots in my way
I don't know why
I choose to stay
There's got to be another way

I hate having to wait in long lines
I hate hearing about changing times
Everywhere I go
I can't find
A single reason not to lose my mind

go ahead, do whatever, just be stupid
going with the flow just isn't worth it
there's no point to live if you don't live by your own purpose
The ideas of others may get you far, but they'll rarely let you be who you really are
Sometimes it gets so hard to see, when all their shadows grow around me
They all stare down at me, eyes filled with pity, hoping i'll be what they've grown to expect

Never make fun of anyone other than yourself
Always have at lease one good bottle of liquor on your shelf
Do not pray daily if you are just scared of hell
If you want to find heaven you must build it yourself

Never ask more of those who can't help themselves
Always drink in excess and toast to your health
Do not fear death because once you're gone there's nothing else
Only the possibility that we'll expand beyond our current selves

Some people are like bombs, just waiting to go off
Waiting for that spark that's sure to set them off
Just dying to explode, their reasons sometimes unknown
Maybe they were made to blow, but some of them will never go
Lying dormant, no fire for the fuse
Waiting silently, just longing to be used

I try to be something
Most often I'm not
I used to be someone
Who I am forgot
I can be nothing
It's still more than I've got
I think I'm no one
Don't ever tell me I'm not
The only reason I've made it at all
I've faked my way through every fall
I pretended that I could hold a presence
Every action and every word
Used to keep hold of my world
Abandon the truth
Forget the past
There is no proof
Just make this last

Take a breath
push it out
Clear your mind
escape from doubt

Now take a seat
spin the spoke
Pull the smoke
Let your life and mind meet

A rush of sight, colors rapid and bright
The sound of screaming static
And explosions up in your attic
*now's the time for you to breakthrough
you're falling away from the world that you knew
into the void of your entire existence
free from the weight of universal resistance

I can be better again
I know it
I know it
I know it
But I haven't done a **** thing to show it
My mind, all I've done is try to slow it
With drugs and *** come freedom from anything real
High enough is only when I can no longer feel
When I can't feel the pull of gravity ******* anything it can into my heart
When I can't feel the anger that crashes and thrashes til' I'm torn apart
All these things the cover me and hide me from the truth
All the signs that show I'm just denying the written proof
Because I refuse to listen to my friends who should know best
Because I refuse to lie with those who offer a place to rest
On my own, I've always felt I must
Because any bridge that doesn't burn will just rust and turn to dust
I've abandoned all who I've feared would do the same
I've given up on playing because I thought I'd lose the game

Why is it that every time I search myself for the words I need to use to make a good impression to someone else, I always slip, bite my lip, and choke upon the urge to quit? Why can't I take all theses phrases that I've scribbled out upon countless pages, turn them into words that if they ever could be heard would be powerful enough to even shake the birds? How many more times am I going to have to rehearse and curse to myself, just to get it though that I can be just like anybody else, and that I don't need to worry because I can be happy by myself? What's it gonna take to make me feel like I belong, that I'm not as lame as I think I am for always writing songs, that people can still love me even though I've done them wrong, and that me and anybody else could ever really get along? Why does it always feel like my world is about to implode, like my insides are always about to explode, that no matter who's around me I always feel alone, and that no matter what I do I will die unknown?

Here I go again
Unable to abstain from sin
I lock myself within a box and never let anyone open it
I'm too tired to make another excuse
I'm too weak to put my skills to good use
All over once more
I forgot to build myself a door
I'm so tired of always being bored
Nobody would even want to i'm sure
I'll sit here and sink into the pit of my core
One more time
I look but cannot find
I've become displaced from my mind
I've left my body lying somewhere far behind
I can't return no matter how hard I try
Here I am again, nobody here but I

You can only divide yourself so many times
You spread yourself thin over too many lines
The war you've been waging must be fought on all fronts
You have to look strong when you're the king of the runts
And when the war ends you'll go home to find
The life you left waiting has left you behind
Old friends will have forgotten that you ever left
And you wont find a single woman with who you have slept
All the people you knew wont recognize the man who's come home
At least on the battlefield you were never so cold or alone

All day, Every Day
Working hard, I'm a slave
Count my money, I gotta save
Not enough, I'm underpaid
Next week comes, it's the same
Blow it all, can't get laid

All week, every week
Same old ****, you never speak
Never complain, try to preach
What gets in, nothing in reach
Skin is bubbling, temperatures peaked
Brain is empty, something leaked

I've been running for years
but never left my home
Wasting days away watching the world go by
Whenever I try to take part I break down and cry
All the people I want to know are always out of reach
And if they ever come close at all my words choke my throat
With a violent hack I spit up all I have caught in my brain
Then they disappear and we will never ever speak again
So I keep my heart inside, I keep my mouth from exposing
A fear that oft resides, all the doors and windows are closing
No places left to turn, what will I become
My chest it starts to burn, i think my days are done

Beneath the canopy of falling stars
We sat and waited in my car
I looked at you as you stared silently
As I wondered what was wrong with me
You said I messed up, but you did so much worse
I only gave you everything, but still my name you cursed
Now as the tide pulls away, I reach for you as you do the same
Why were we ever so close, when all of my words are now spent on your ghost
I really wish that you'd have stayed, and I just cant accept the choice that you made
But now I think that its too late, you were lucky to have even escaped

I just want you
For a short walk under the moon
With the breeze that will chill your exposed skin
I'll offer you my jacket if you would let me in
To the heart where my all of my faith has been placed
I can't help but smile when I see your face
But if you reject me and make me walk home alone
I'll leave with regret knowing we both went home cold

Some days all you can do is hope you made the right choice
Did you speak too loudly, could she even hear your voice?
Did you do everything in your power to stop this?
Did you give yourself up when you went in for the kiss?
Maybe you should have held back, or maybe you were right to come out and attack
Maybe you should have ended this long ago, but what that would have done will never be known
Maybe you should have spoke a little kinder, or maybe you could have set her on fire
What if you were her, how would you have wanted it?
You'll never know
If you made the right decision
You tried with precision
But you can never be sure
As long as your intent was pure
Then you did the right thing for sure

Every morning we stir silently
Awaking to a whole new world
Full of precious life, but marred by worthless strife
Plagued by constant sorrow, but full of hope for tomorrow
Today is just one of many
Possibilities and realities
That wait for us
Looming in dark alleys
or flying on the highest of clouds
We can do anything that our hearts will allow
Like the rest we chase so often
We will have it in our coffins
These days are too bright to hide from the light
Reach out and touch it before you fade away
None of it matters anyway
I know you might be scared, but I am no stranger to fear
Your belly is full of something rotten, your breath stinks of beer
Why are you wasting my time, why did you call me here?
I told you once that you cannot be living this way if you want to be free
Now won't you please go away
I don't need you blocking my sun today

Could I risk to love you again?
You never left my thoughts, despite the troubles that you caused
You never left my sight, even when my days were drained of light
You never escaped my heart, though now is not a time to start
To let you in again, dare I say I would
Honestly I want to, but I don't think we should
Even if you wanted to, I don't think I could
Let you out, keep you close
I'm in love in secret, I don't think you know
How many times I tried and failed to let you go

What is it you are looking for
You're always chasing your love out the door
And when you feel lonelier than before
You blame the world as you curl up on the floor
What is the answer you hope to find
You're always running circles through your mind
And when you learn there is nothing to find
You hold onto what you can't leave behind
Where is the motivation you seek
You're always claiming that you are too weak
And when you're quiet all you want to do is speak
But you just paint your face with colors hopeless and bleak
What is it you are looking for
You're always sitting on the ground looking quite bored
And always telling me that there must be something more
You just can't help but look up when you're always on the floor

Where have all the good times gone
When luck gave way everything went wrong
My friend, have you been there and back
Did you find yourself tied to the tracks
Barreling down a broken rail
Every attempt to escape only fails
I took my ride on the misery train
And its a trip I hope I never take again
Have you lived through your darkest days
Wandering helplessly through a jaded haze
With a distant light always out of reach
Forgoing all the advice your friends would preach
Dreaming while you can just to forget the world
Sleeping in a place, all alone and cold
A place where you could cry
And mutter to yourself the same tired lie
That you still believe that there is a hope
And tomorrow you won't need the drugs to help you cope
You will no longer give into sin
And you'll be better than you have ever been
But that new dawn just will not rise
You drown yourself under the river pouring from your eyes
Have you felt the weight of a past that you cannot change
Anger and grief that fester, devouring you in rage
Afraid to take a single step towards your desire
Because last time you tried you got burnt by fire
So now you carry water and extinguish every flame
And when you say your world is dark, you only have yourself to blame
I have lived through my trip to hell
And I hope that you haven't been there as well

I never doubted your heart, just your commitment to the part
Through thick and thin, you just couldn't let me in
In sickness and in health, I'm feeling better by myself
Through the good times and the bad, you could never keep up with the passion that I had
For times of wealth and times of need, my hungry heart you could never feed
And for better or for worse, I'm happy now to be free of your curse

Why walk in the footsteps of others, when you can soar above all on eagle's wings
Please my friend, don't shoot me down
Just because I don't keep my feet on the ground
I like the way I see things from up in the clouds
Away from the light and the sounds
That pollute your proclaimed holy ground
Away from the struggle and constant concern
Its just a trick that you too can learn
Forget your worthless, gold painted stones
Gather the love you keep in your homes
Spread it around and soon you'll be over the ground
Flying together, as one and for all with love

Full moon shining on the rippling seas surface
Controlling the tides
Serving its purpose
With a force measurable by complicated equations and tactful calculations
Used to predict its every push and pull along the shores of all earth's nations
A light hanging in the atmosphere
Instilling into the minds of many throughout history hope and fear
Shining from the unseen glow of yesterday's sun
Placed so carefully distant as to linger in gravity's grip
Not too far or to close so it will never slip

We are still
Motionless in black
If we turn to the light
There is no turning back
We are broken
Crushed by stone
But if we stand by each other
We won't be so alone
Screaming out
Crazed and wild
Shout towards the sky
Find freedom child
Set yourself free
No longer will you haunt me
I have walked away
Been gone since yesterday
With the last of our strength
We've been holding inside
We told the world
We're not ready to die

In darkness I walked
With you I talked
I asked for your help
But there was nothing you could do
You told me I was weak
There was no response I could speak
You told me I would hit the bottom on my own
You told me I would have to climb out alone
Well I have seen the floor of the well
I have tried to escape but to no avail
I continued to reach for a hand that was not there
So there I sat and lost my reason to care
With no light to guide my way
With no fight to get through the day
I found myself alone with the truth
The carvings on the wall will provide you the proof
The strength to escape must come from within
If you believe you cannot do it on your own
Then forever you will try but you will never win
I have begun to find the strength inside
To climb out of the hole where I reside
I have begun to see the light of day
Now there is nothing standing in my way

If I was a house would you be the key to my door
If I was a rug would you lay me on your floor
If you were a boat I'd let you sail on me
If you were a bird I'd let you fly through me
All these things I wonder to myself
If I was yours would you love me like no one else

If I was a tree would you rest in my shade
If I was a stain would you let me fade
If you were a leaf I'd never let you fall
If you were a painting I'd hang you on my wall
All these things I ponder to myself
If I was yours would you love me like no one else

If I was a lake would you swim in me
If I was a cloud would you look at me
If you were a queen I would be your king
If you were a song you'd be he only one I sing
All these things I question to myself
If you were mine I'd love you like no one else

Sister summer
Its been a while
Since I felt your touch
Or saw your smile
Father winter is losing his grip
But the ice has yet to melt so be careful not to slip
He blows cold wind across the sky
He drops frozen flakes on your delicate eyes
Sister summer
Will you come around
Melt the snow and spring life from the ground
I can feel her on my face, I can feel her on my skin
Once the sun shows itself I'll be able to begin again
Sister summer
Its been too long
Many years have passed me by since I last heard your song
Now as the clouds begin to depart
And as the temperature turns to warm
I feel you touching my frozen heart
Sister summer
Hold my hand
Keep me away from harm
I look to you, my old friend
When the night seems like it won't ever end
I'll be fine, just give me time
The cold at night isn't so bad
But it sure as hell doesn't do a thing to keep me from feeling sad
Sister summer
You'll be home soon
I can't wait for the days that never end
Peace and love will shine once you come back again
Oh sister summer
Set me free
Sister summer
Set me free

I wake up
Soaked in sweat
Shook from a dream
I won't soon forget
Nightmares reveal my deepest fear
That I am hated by all I get near
Why don't they think better of me
I'm just being what I know how to be
But for them, it's never enough
Maybe someday I'll see through the guise
And realize i'm not the one they despise
I'm the same as them, just a little different
But I feel the pain
Of self hatred inherent
It looks as if there's no escape
Panic grips me
It keeps me awake
If I slip back to sleep
I'll wake again just to weep

Want me
So I can want you
I hope you want me
So I won't feel used
Do not drop me
If you do I will break
But if you don't want me
Then you better drop me
I'd rather be lost and broken again
Than only held lightly by you my friend
And if you happen to let me go
Let me say this so I'll know that you know
I won't be there when you turn around
I'll leave my shell shattered on the ground
I have already seen the light of day
I've been dropped many times before today
If you want
Let me fall
But if you want
Want me too
Hold me tight
Don't let me break

These cold nights never seem to end
Alcohol's warmth is my only feeling
I wake up alone and look for a friend
This frozen heart has reached its end
Where once I knew I could always find
There is no shelter for this empty mind
Now it is black, and covered in snow
Cold and rejected, I walk home alone

I miss you
And it hurts a lot
I'd go back to then
But I forgot how
Now so distant
Your hands from mine
I hold them out
But can't catch you in time
Pulling away
I walk out
Into the cold
All alone

Sleep is nothing but a distant dream
Night is always faster than it seems
Light to dark, dark to light
Sleep has forgotten about me tonight

what i once thought
i thought i knew
nothing could change how i felt about you
i never believed what i saw
but now my eyes have been bled raw
and i see you for all you really are
cant forgive, a stupid mistake
you say you loved, but i say it was faked
if those feelings were so true
then i wouldn't be here, angry at you
an act of compassion, i could never get
every time i slipped, you made me regret it
another fault, another straw in the stack
and finally we've broken the young camel's back

I know its too early, it may be too late
but i cant go on knowing that i control my fate
just to sit alone all the time
not doing much, not a bad thing
but theres so much more that my actions could bring
i could teach children to write, help them learn how to sing
as long as they wont end up like i have
i lazilly wandered off the simple path
ease of mind has become a rare finding
the clouds overhead are always reminding
and even when dreaming i cant find a feeling
but on a rare occasion
when i want to give in
i remember you saying that we wont always win
but theres many more hands that are left to be dealt
and there are many more loves out there waiting to be felt
maybe tomorrow ill remember your words
but all of this will just get lost with the birds
its morning already and my heart has been steady
a night of panic averted and my morals deserted
I cant help but think that isnt wrong
its always bad timing when I need to be strong
maybe its late but its never to early
to get back on the path and continue the journey

I need it to sleep
Every single day
I need it to think
In a more peaceful way
Oh it does
Take me away
But it doesn't **** the pain
That's here to stay

Without it I shiver
My chest gets tight
Without it I wonder
If I'll survive the night
Oh it does
Make me forget
I slip unconscious
Last thought regret

When I get it
Ill be ecstatic
On the inside
Always an addict
Oh it is
An incredible feeling
But its left me now
My heart has stopped beating

I am weak
This I know
Like late winter snow
Down is the the way I go
I melt away when the temperature rises
Just to be ****** back into the sky
I'm a creature of habit
This should come as no suprise

A passing butterfly had caught my glance
I watched it float so free and weightless
I caught the bug and made it my own
I picked out the jar that it would now call home
Once inside it started to change
No longer did it hover with its beauty and grace
It just sat and waited to be free from this place
So I set it free because it should never have been mine
But just as it turned to look at me one last time
That beauty burst into a magnificent flame
The fire that lives inside me is the culprit to blame

Peace, harmony, and love for your fellow man
Things all much less important than your own plans
You call yourselves humans but I disagree
A bunch of selfish animals are all I see

Listening to the sound of crashing waves
While cosmic rocks soar past my gaze
I watch the sky with awe and desire
Making a wish on each passing ball of fire
With a thousand chances that one will come true
I'll spend every one wishing for you

Only I know what lies beneath
Under this stone facade of flesh and bone
The thickness of skin covers it so well
This liars grin hides what lies within