Wedged into my ways by hammers of guilt and shame, I've buried myself beneath heavy bricks of blame

Every time I fall, I sink like a stone
Dropped into the ocean
Tossed by endless waves
I never get to rest
Someday I'm sure, I will reach the shore
Only to be taken back by the tide
Pulled back under the crushing ways

Oh nameless face
Where are you tonight
I've met you before
A different name
A different face
A light in a darkened place
You always appear suddenly
But then again you fade

Oh temporary hope
Eluding me again

I want to know where feelings go when they die
If they cease to exist, or if they were never more real than you or I
I wonder if those feelings don't dissipate at all, but fade and lie in wait for another day
Lying dormant, trampled like a doormat
All other emotions have right of way
Everything trying to escape
All I want is to stay
Just for once I want to feel
I want to know that its real
If I could just feel once more
To know if love can be reborn

Insides get tight while the mind unravels again, as alarms are ringing through walls of muscle and skin
Stubborn but patient, the heart beats on, waiting for a sign that it won't be wrong

I came here to be alone
Won't you stay away
If I had came here looking
It certainly wasn't for you

I sit here with the ghost of you
Talking about nothing, just enjoying the view
The look of sadness claims your face
I open my mouth, but its too late
I close my eyes and accept my fate
I cannot speak, you fade away
If only I could go with you
I'm sorry for the things I said I'd never do
If only I knew
If only I knew
Way back when, you were my friend
Forever was never meant to be
Still I wait for you to lie with me
In this bed so cold, I'm tired and alone
But the ghost of you still lingers along
Cursed by the love that I led wrong
Forever was never meant to be
If only I knew what my words could do
If only I knew what I had done to you

Angelic in nature but he slips through the fracture
His mind is at ease  
He'll always ask please
He's lost in his mind
His hearts out of rythym and he can't find the words within him
All he wants is to feel again
Love or hate its all the same
We all live the same lives but go by different names
We all tell the same lies but play different games
We lose ourselves in seemingly unstoppable moments
We fritter and fray as we lose control of our components

Jump out the window and try to fly
The worst that could happen is you crash and die
And even that wouldn't be too bad
Just try not to think of the things that make you sad
On the way down you might change your mind
But now its too late, you left second chances behind
Maybe somebody will catch you before you hit
But to be honest you really don't give a ****

Start it off with a few choice words
Make them sweet
Make them hurt
Get the attention you've so long desired
Then cut down the one you once admired
Emotional attack, a verbal assault
Kiss the wounds with a pinch of salt

I do not
Like being ignored or forgotten
I do not
Like being alone or bored
I do not
Like being

Inside my chest rests a hole
Black and bottomless, it goes straight to my center
Above it hangs a sign that reads: danger, do not enter
If you shine a light and try to see the floor, you'll find yourself staring into a vacant core
Absorbing all white
Spitting out just dark

Eggshell sphere
sitting beyond the atmosphere
Pink and purple wisps of moisture
mingling beneath blue sky
Orange setting star
falling beneath earths end
I am here,
alone,
again

She said gimme a call, just not today or tomorrow
Maybe some time next week, next month, or maybe next year
Isn't it clear that she doesn't want you here

All the girls say I'm such a nice guy
Well if I'm so nice why don't they try
A little less to leave me impressed
Why can't I get them undressed

I've spent too long in these woods and now I'm afraid I'll never escape. These trees have now been watching me for several years, as I've shrunk from a man, full of promises and potential, just seeking inspiration, into a wanton waste of nothingness, just wandering wrecklesly, while these mighty wooden watchers just continue to grow, bloom, and blossom around me, and I simply cannot keep up with them.

The cauldrons are churning up in the abandoned attic
The televisions are all promoting a state of perpetual static
The streets are shrouds of smoke filled with folks you've seen
The world itself is a joke when you only feel safe in your dreams

You left us all outside to bleed
So we set out to be a dying breed
We don't need you to get what we need
So if its fine with you we're taking to the streets

Now I don't wanna cause a fuss
But you'll believe in god but not in us

I don't wanna tell you right from wrong
But the way you raised us caused us harm

He scrambles to find his words outside her front door, they all spill onto her front porch
She looks at him and all he can say is I don't know
She looks at the ground and says she has to go
He wanders back to his car but she doesn't leave the doorway
She proclaims out into the night "I knew you would run away"
He turns his head around and shuffles his feet on the ground
He's still looking for an answer the likes of which he hasn't found
With a little shake, he speaks back to the surrounding black;
"I thought I forgot my mind in a sack, I left it here and I want it back
It's been oddly dark and I cannot feel my heart, but I need all my parts if I'm ever to start
Maybe after I'm reacquainted with my brain, I can let you in without piggybacking all the pain
If the reattached pieces manage to cooperate, then maybe I'll see you at some later date"

I'm not intent on sharing my intention with you
I've no reason to sing my reasoning to you
I don't want to be wanted here
I don't need to be needed here
I have no feeling to feel for you
I have no ease to be easy for you

How hard it is to like people, because no matter how hard you try they apparently just don't want to be liked

All this wasted time
Belongs to nobody
But I
All the feigned attempts
Served for nobody
But friends

I can see my ghost. he's leading me somewhere and I'm not sure if I should follow. I know where he wants to take me, its a place I've been before, but going there would involve losing the greatest thing I've had in quite a long time, but we both know that I'll never be satisfied with a simple physical possession, we both know I desire the spirit of it and that anything less will leave me wandering through limbo lost and hopeless. I don't know if such a heavenly feeling is something I can ever have, so I might just follow him back to the deep underworld once again, and if its meant to be I believe that angel may take my hand and pull me out and away to the place I truly feel that I belong

I can't help it
It's just the way I am
Always to want more than
What I have
Its never enough
I can't change it
I want more than
I need to
It's not ok
But it's the only way
I know how to be
Always less than
What they want
It's less than
I could ever want
I'm just a selfish man
Always wanting more than
What I've been given
It's all good
But still I want more
I know I should
Try to be satisfied
With what I have

Everybody is my friend until I say I need them
Then they run so far away
I can't catch them so here I stay
Can you tell me why I'm so lonely
All I want is someone to hold me
My whole life I've had no mother
So if you hate me blame my father
I don't mean to be so off putting
I'm just never sure of what I'm doing
I'm always trying to please the crowd
But I'd love for someone to bring me down
I can't keep dancing for all of you
Even if its all I want to do

My emotions are just toys, scattered across your floor
Stepped on so many times, your feet have gotten sore

I love you, even though you don't
Can you love me, because I won't
I wish it wasn't so, I can't even keep control
Emotions exploding over oceans corroding coastal human habitats
Imploding at the core, I can't take it anymore

I know a way, but it'll have to be alone
Nobody else can know, I'm going to dig a hole
I wish it wasn't true, I know nothing else to do
Rapture raging behind brown eyes experiencing self selected dark demise
Destruction from within, I have given in

Eat ****
*******
I don't care what you do
*******
Go die
I hope you commit suicide

Its a good thing you turned me down
I can't be the burden you'll carry around
I'm heavy with feelings that I can't explain
And it takes a gentle hand to pick up shattered glass
That's much more than it'd be fair of me to ask

Was your last guest a foe in disguise
What betrayal did you see in those eyes
Have you hidden your heart in a tower of stone
Are you keeping your treasure for yourself alone
I seek not your gold but your side on the throne
For my love can brighten all of your unknown

Its a madhouse in my mind
I hate the love I can't find
No place is safe for peace to hide
There's no escaping once you're inside

I hate to love
I love to hate

I love from afar
I hate when you're close
My heart has a scar
It goes deeper than most
I loath your love
I find pleasure in pain
I hope you know
I'll have nothing to say
Would you please leave
I need to be alone
I don't believe
I'll ever find my own

The last thing anybody wants is to be told they don't have a choice, that their mind on the matter is none but a harmless voice

I needed some help down on the old farm, I was wondering if you could come lend me an arm. I didn't mean to scare you or cause you any harm, I just needed someone to help silence the alarm. The locks on the cages have all rusted and snapped, but the pigs are happy just to play in their crap. The horses got free, I don't think they're coming back. I don't care for the sheep though, their fleece is ***** and black. I guess I'll just let them all stay out tonight, because getting them back alone is too much of a fight

Look at my lying like a dead deer on the side of the road, got hit by a metal monster rushing to get where he wants to go. Now all you machines with rubber wheels for feet, just roll on by, don't look at me. Here I'll stay for a month or two til mother nature has her way with me. The rain will fall and bloat up my corpse, then I'll wash away as it continues to pour.

Half is better than none
But I can't settle for less than whole
Half is still less than all
So I guess I'm selfish
I don't want to need this much
But I need more than what you say is enough

I've worn the masks that you all made
The face of the worker who's underpaid
The face of the student who flunked his test
I can't find one I like to wear best
I've seen through the eyes of an only child
One who's been held back from running wild
I've seen through the eyes of an orphaned son
Who's only wish is to be loved by someone
All these masks, one in the same
I wear them all, I wear this pain
On my sleeve this heart has bled
In the footsteps of others I've been led
Just who do I want to be today
I'll wear a new mask to forget yesterday
I've heard rejection through the ears of screamer
I've tasted defeat on the tongue of a dreamer
So many different faces
All heading to the same places
Together they hide what lies beneath
They exist just so you won't see me

I was out sailing across the great blue green sea
Searching for a friend and the meaning of my dream
I came across another ship that looked like it had been crushed to bits
Slowly I approached and let out a cautious call
I wondered if anyone could even hear me at all
Then from the wreck a little voice unleashed a helpless cry
I saw her holding onto a rope, floating alone just trying not to die
Her hair was dripping wet, clothes a soaking mess
Shed been there for more than a few days if it were up to me to guess
I left my post and walked down to the ledge
I offered my hand and pulled her up onto the edge
Within a moment our eyes had locked, shed forgot the life she lost
All she wanted was to be saved
But I threw her back and she sank beneath the waves

You're too afraid to take a single step out  towards your desire, because last time you tried you failed and got burnt by the fire. So you carry pails of water to extinguish every flame, and you'd be a liar if you said you weren't to blame for the darkened world that you have claimed

The demons that used to dissolve in alcohol have learned to hold their shape, and the terrors that used to tremble in smoke have learned to stand their ground, and the evils that used to evaporate in your presence have learned to keep you away

My mind is a straightjacket, and no matter how long I struggle or how strongly I flail, I can't break free from or quiet the thoughts causing a racket
My life is a padded cell, and no matter how loud I scream or how hard I slam my head against the walls, nobody hears my cries or even comes to help
You are the nurse ratchet of my existence, and no matter what I say or how many pills of advice you force down my throat, it seems that I'll never be well enough to relinquish your resistance

She says she wants to climb into my bed, but I guess she doesn't want to get into my head, because every night she sleeps alone instead

Where can your fear be found?
What sets off your sirens?
Does my presence provoke your defense?
Who was it that exposed your weakness?
Will you let me approach your coast, Or am I the thing you fear most?

The devil in the distance grows closer with each step
And the angels in the air have faces full of regret
Coming into focus, I can read his face
We all came here knowing no one would escape

As apathetic as the atmosphere, I form just to dissipate
Brush the ash off my shoulder, this world is smoke and grey
Radios blast between deaf ears, I don't understand the words
As rapid as this revolving rock, my heart beats for the whole herd

We should get together and talk for a minute about the weather, then bring up what we feel inside but I know we won't because we fear what we'll find. Our hearts do not confer, she loves him and I love her, and the pain inside each of us burns, and every day the world still turns, and we'll awake each morning with nothing but lessons that went unlearned. I hang on her every word, and she hangs around for him like a bird, ready to fly at a moments notice, and my attempts to approach will always be hopeless, as I get close she'll dissapear like a ghost, and we both know this and tomorrow we still won't let go, life will go on and time will flow, and no matter how slow we'll do what we can to not let it show, but soon enough one of us will have to go

I think silence is worse than suicide, because at least in death there's nothing to hide, its a way to get out of your mind, and leave behind all the problems that plague your life.

I think suicide is better than silence, because at least in death there's something violent, it's a way to let out what's inside, and you may find that the lie is worse than living in your life

I think silence and suicide are one in the same, either way you feel nothing or insane, and either way you hate your brain, and either way the pain will never not feel like shame, and either way you lose the game

I'm sitting in my place of seclusion near the old battered bridge, listening to anything and everything but what my mind is trying to say. The waves were too quiet so I turned on the music, and the speakers couldn't play loud enough to drown out the sound of machinery endlessly struggling to produce an answer inside my head. I could scream and drown it out, but I know that with nobody else to hear my attempts would simply fall upon my own tone deaf ears, and I've grown sick and tired of screeching out the same old lines over and over hoping each time to find new meaning behind the words that have always failed to grease my mechanisms and get them moving again.

It's becoming clear that its not me, but everything that I believe
The little lies that materialize and pile high til they blind my eyes
I want to trust in my own thoughts and find comfort in my heart
But the truth is that I just can't see the reality of everything that is me

I wish I could provide the proof for you and let you read it through and through
Then let you tell me what to do, but you'll never know me the way I do

Its hard to focus on a single idea
Every imagined betrayal
All the made up pain
They seem so real in my brain
The emotions that endlessly erupt
The feelings that I can't feel enough
I always want to have to much
And it's to the point where I want to give up
Because I'll never cease the cause of pain
I'll always find a way to make it rain
Soak myself as i pour on the shame
Always playing to win a losing game
It's all that I know how to do, because in the end I'll never know the truth

I want to see those scars, the ones etched into your heart
I want to know where your weakness comes from
I want to know where you hide when you choose to run
I want to know your greatest fear
I want to know what made you, my dear

I'll show all of my scars, the deep faults on my heart
I'll tell you the secret story of how I came to be
I'll let you know how far I went to become what you see
I'll even tell you my greatest fear
That you wouldn't want to know me, my dear

When you think you're hated there's nothing you can do
Just sit and wait for the monsters to swallow you
When the light is fading there's nowhere you can run
Just sit and pray you'll live to see the morning sun
When loneliness persists there's no one who can help
Just slit your wrists and accept your place in hell