My mind is overwhelmed

It has been hard to get into bed.

Sometimes I wish I could turn off my head

But it just doesn't stop, its overflowing  

It's like a river, come and sit by the riverbed.

Let me tell you about the knots, the ones in the back of my neck.

It's stressful, I am so over it.

I want to avoid it, like it’s the plague.

Waking up to the sun beaming at my face

I slept grate, only problem I had was my foot was on the break

A good night’s rest in my car is all I needed, you’d be amazed.

Getting too comfortable is dangerous,

It eventually ends, all we do is fight and fuss.

We are meant to grow, be a better version of ourselves

Instead, we bring each other down and I start questioning myself.

I am worthy and so are you, I am letting you go, and you should too.

We both know how this will end, it’s something we can’t bear.

Summer nights, I hate
Survivor, new beginnings
Summer nights, I love

the pain that I feel
my name is what u smear
u hate yourself but blame it on me
I was wounded when I met u
wouldn’t think we’d still be together
I’m bounded by trauma
playing, don’t step on lava
too late now, I just ponder.
if I ever see you again,
ima act like Stevie Wonder.

Ten years, it has been ten years. All put together into fifteen poems. A summary, this is the life I live. There’s no such thing as a perfect human being. I owe it to myself, for never giving in to the mean voices in my head. Including those who walk side by side with me. I know from right and wrong, at times the wrong feels right. I go looking for trouble I have damaging habits to kick off. My actions aren’t helpful. It's a paradox, my biggest flaw. Change feels uncomfortable and I’m in constant sorrow.  

I don't mean to lie,  

I don't mean to manipulate,  

I don’t mean to refuse help,  

I'm empty inside,  

I hate to be alone,  

I space out n daydream because the real-world *****.  

I don’t mean to physically hurt myself at the slightest inconvenience.  

Self-sabotaging is my greatest enemy.  

Living in the abyss of misery.  

I still think everyone hates me.  

I haven't figured out who I am just yet.  

From the top of my head these are the basics. I love to write, draw, and read. I listen to music because it brings me peace. My favorite color is yellow my lucky number is three. I'm ambitious, I chase my dreams. My mind is different, I consider it creative. I am sweet and kindhearted. I’m hilarious, I like to brighten people's days. I’m not a demon. Underneath all these wounds and the mask I wear, I’m just like you.