In her vacant eyes
I finally see what was never there
that familiar indifferent stare
In her hollow talk
I now hear all the excuses so clear
the way she stays unaffected and bare

When I arrived in her life
her secrets were already made
over the years I've watched her fade
with here empty phrases
with never a promise laid
she's always hedged toward the shade

Wanting some truths; I asked
I found answers that day in the park
when I questioned her demeanor so stark
How much blame do I lay at her feet,
her experiences had left their mark
she can't see her way from the dark

It seems I am condemned
to a doom of my own making
I should have stopped myself from falling

I'm guilty by default;
censured by society
criticized for said impropriety

I carry no defense for
my offense as charged;
so are they really a crime?

My mistake is my trusting
my own self-persuasions;
my personal convictions

My only shame is one
of self- blame for letting
sweetness become a game

Shouldn't my deceit
be judged by God alone;
only he decides whom to condone!

our moods can not help but fluctuate
        dealing with a flawed state
            sometimes quite true
                     deep blue
                    then bright
                luminous white
         can take over our senses
leaving us with actually no defenses

SHE
She's so tall, so fair
with gorgeous fine hair
her smile is quick, sweet and free
with lips made to please
kissing with such ease
her laughter will bring you glee

She's a green eyed lass
delicate as glass
precious from the start
she's been touched with grace
a cute, freckly face
and a pure forgiving heart

HE
He's tall with fine eyes
hands just the right size
he's very kind and thoughtful
he walks with head high
he talks with no lies
having a soul so peaceful

With eyes of deep brown
his smile calms you down
he was created to charm
using his sweet voice
he'll make the best choice
his motto "to never harm"

THEY
They met on a flight
attached at first sight
for hours they held their fortune
then the plane landed
so they were candid
caught up in their emotions

they were sure of this
they shared their first kiss
the next hours spent in rapture
now choices to make
wild chances to take
together is their future

if but halfway in
in a sense still halfway out
and when halfway up
turn round and it's halfway down
being just part of a whole

The mind runs like a ferris wheel
with the heights you see what's real
turning round on round sets the seal

The body is made of priceless gold
it's value increases as we grow old
this magnificent system is so bold

And there the soul shall always dwell
living in and about and parallel
influencing all moral and emotional

Say something to me now
anything is better than this and how

I need the words said
not just assumed instead

Express yourself; it's only me
try to let your thoughts be free

Your being here isn't enough
I've decided to call the bluff

So speak to me from your heart
or I fear we will have to part
Iif you can't meet my needs
admit to it and concede

Inside I feel a savage storm
it gales and then pales
then blusters through m,y sopul
My mind is filled with chaos
as the fierce blasts of thought
erupt my waking hours
My dreams run rough and wild
as the tempest brews within
I have no control over the twister
My whirlwind is private
I've learned to tame the storm
learned to manage the rush
My wildness builds auspiciously
I've trained my storms into silence
until I'm alone and pensive
then it lets loose with fervor

each picture captures
that moment set in stillness
an image appears
now your senses will perceive
pulling reason from the ryhme

I live within your walls
I leave behind my soul
The very air you breathe
is filled with my essence
You'll find my scent
on your pillows
You'll find my spirit
in your sheets

Who we try to be
who we want others to see
whispers through our souls

What charms we possess
what leads to our success
wisdom guides the way

When love enters the fold
when life's radiant and bold
will our wonders never end

Where honesty takes you
where loyalty makes true
worry not of the past

Why do we dream with grandeur
why wish for a worthy future
wise have faith and believe!

If I were to say no
would that start up another go
once again, another fight
we can't seem to make it right
We have words and how
so very often now
but can we carry on
every moment at full run
So then when you say
there's no other way
we are bound up tight
with no freedom in sight
What can I do now
forever baited by a vow
I don't think this is my dream
I'd rather live in radiances' gleam
I tell him we have grown apart
I'm rather mellow, while you're so ****
he takes that badly
commencing to mope about sadly
As if it's something untrue
sometimes I think he hasn't a clue
but I have to do what's best for me
hoping maybe he'll be able to see
That it will truly be good for us
we could separate with the least bit of fuss
he won't be humiliated with the shame
he really believes people will blame

I

dominate me now
throw your power in my face
give me my command
please control my very breath
I'm your obedient slave

We are one;
one thought
one view
one future
a combined soul
moving forward
to experience life,
to get everything
we can from each day!
We are one;
our hands touch
our lips meet
our hearts collide
in utter joy & fulfillment!
We are one;
with one idea
with one goal
to live happy & free
to be forever
you and me!

You exist for
your freedom.
You don't want
to belong to me.
I can't compete
with such easy
liberality.....
With such
an opponent,
I would eventually,
unintentionally
let you down.....

A splash of
vanilla
behind the ear
will make you
smile playfully.
Cinnamon up
your mood today
with a shot of
ginger's juice;
Cayenne up
your pleasure.
Throw some nutmeg
in to boost
the senses.
Take a clove
out for a
spicy treat.
Sometimes we
need to curry up,
so add in
a pinch of
cardamom,
or cumin
it way down.
Have some fun!
We know that
variety
gives much spice,
such fragrance
to our lives!

Hearts bleed out scarlet
Tomatoes grow on the vine
Love burns like a fire
We stop when we see the sign
Joy paints on a tint of rouge

Why is it
that that box
I put away
under everything
is the only box
I seem to want
to look inside?

But I wrapped it up,
I taped it shut
I made sure it
was all inside;
every piece of
our time together,
bits of paper
with words written;
that were word he once spoke

I purged my soul
I scraped out my heart
I thought that would
take care of my agony
but sometimes it seems
the ache will never leave
the words come flooding
back til I think
I'll drown in them all

If I break the seal
on that box
I will only
persecute my soul,
torture my heart,
rip my life apart.
So why do I keep it?

Because the pain
held inside that box
was the sweetest
misery I've ever
experienced.
The most cherished
time I've spent
with abandonment

That is why
that box shall
remain put away
to be there forever
as my safeguard
of discretion,
my defense
of injustice

If I can
quench
my thirst
and
at the same
moment
cure
my ailment;
should I
not then
drink
of the
divine
concoction
of this
love potion
that I have
discovered

It's a shame
we didn't meet before

It's a shame
we neither one is free

It's a shame
we can't
respond outwardly
to what we
desire inwardly

It's a shame
I'll never be able
to forget
our moments
together

There once was a man of eighty
He loved the feeling of liberty
He could never be confined
The trouble was when he dined
He marched about with his naked dignity

I met a man upon my walk
He seemed ever so inclined to talk
As he turned and walked in step with me
Under the shade of the gorgeous elm tree

Of what we spoke it did not matter
He stayed near me through all the chatter
We walked for a mile to the rivers edge
We sat on the bank, there on the ledge

Even the minutes of quiet were pure delight
I could have sat there with him throughout the night
When up I stood, he did then follow
Whispering around me like a graceful swallow

We crossed the bridge over the river
Hand in hand feeling the wood planks quiver
Beneath us the water so swift and clear
I've never let anyone before get so near

I awoke with a start, this memory on my mind
Perhaps this is the beginning and I can
Finally leave the past behind
Once again I might imagine that
People are kind

why should you have doubt
that's like a deep dark black hole
there is no known end
when you question you will lose
that battle just can't be won

How do I figure out how to go
I need to just exit without the show

I want to run to something new
but how can I; when I feel dark and blue

I don't want to hurt anymore
of that one thing, I am for sure

I want a life that is quiet and facile
free from heartache, scorn and hassle

I want a future that bursts into song
I need the evenings to be daring and long

I'd like my days to explode with zest
my spirit to have been deeply caressed

This is all I want; it seems so simple
why do I find it is so unachievable

On the last day of another year
I think, I sigh, I shed a tear

So much has come my way
many a beautiful, awe-filled day

All the love I've been given
within this faith I've been livin

All the faces I've greeted
such lovely souls I have meeted

So another year has come to pass
I feel its gains and losses, alas

I thank the blessed year for its glee
it has ended and I feel I'm a better me

A bit wiser and thoughtful; a year older
more informed and a wee bit bolder

We each have a vision of love
what we believe love looks like
whether it is white or red heat
that gets our hearts to beat

There is the fantasy which some hold
that love will arrive in a perfect package
this breaks every realm of reality
only happening in the depths of poetry

And illusions of happily ever after
disregard all of common sense
love is like a clear blue sky
which instantly can turn grey and smoky

If you find love grab hold of it
live in the happiness it brings
share yourself without restrictions
let your mind be free of expectations

My body is my house
furnished with secrets most
my bones are its host.
My soul is my home
where I learn to feel, to cope
my spirit the hub of my hope.
My faith is my hearth
center of every stroke and beat
my blood is my hushed heat.
My truth carries honor
at the helm I make a bold start
courage is held in my heart.
I hunger for wisdom
I dream of harmony, of kindness
my haven is pure happiness.
Hallelujah!  ready on my lips
a healing harbor on the make
Salaam!  with every handshake

what started out as
innocent, fun and delight,
as natural as breathing;
quickly turned to serious,
complicated and exquisite,
a mutual need being met;
leaving one wondering
if it was ever just
innocuous pleasure?

all I thought was "HUH"
my reaction to his rant
"HUH" was all I said
then I turned and walked away
I chose to end it with grace

his words are my joy
his voice can calm me each time
his sins matter not
his eyes show me his goodness
so now even I am his

sitting in the dark
my head full of words
words that weren't mine
words that weren't kind

can things end like that
what about our souls
is it impossible to be kind
even when another possesses my mind

guilt drums through me
but is it for him or
for me, and all the years
of constant flowing tears

so what do I do
when the dawn breaks
will I still be sitting here
or gone and over there

do I choose what makes me happy
or stay out of a sense of religious duty

Two by two
it is all around me
The sweet balm
of a loves calm
The walking pace
of lovers' space

Sorted by pairs
trekking about
hand in hand
They seem to just
implicitly understand

The dyadic duo
I met on a plane
captivated my mind
They seemed as if
they were just designed
to live life intertwined

This coupledom domain
is where I desire to reside
Being mated and fated,
forever to be with
my lover glorified

In his eyes I see
love, longing
and fear

In my eyes he sees
happiness, trust
and devotion

In his arms I feel
safe, accepted
and free

In my arms he feels
comfort, approval
and welcomed

In his life
I have found
my sweet spot

In my life
he has found
his last home

All worry evaporates
as I stand to pray
as I repeat this tranquility
throughout my day

I get those hushed moments
to be there with God alone
to express my gratitude
for all the happiness I own

So as I am surrounded
daily by my usual activity
I know my every night
will end in peace and serenity

don't let time trap you
fling off your woes for today
come and binge on life
go off on a spree of love
it's such a beautiful world

why make me want you
when it never was true
please explain yourself

why make me need you
why didn't I have a clue

why hurt me this way
you had no intention to stay
please tell me the reason

why tear my future apart
I have some blame, I let it start

why do you torture me
why is it I couldn't see
please what didn't I do

why are your words haunting
why is my heart still aching

come near to me
and you will see
I'm just a woman
who chooses to be
humble and patient;
a veiled she.
a woman who
has found her key,
which happens to be
hidden under her beauty,
completely verified
each day on bended knee;
because it is to God
that I owe this fee.
a servant to her
faith; that's me
while still a woman who
loves to be called baby.
so please understand
my inclinations are free
approach me, speak with me
I'm sure you will agree
differences, we have not many
I wish you peace, honey

I am prone to chase the words
words that fill me with courage
courage to probe my feelings
feelings which lead me to peace
peace in my hunt for wisdom
wisdom to accept guidance
guidance from other seekers
seekers who see truth as grace
grace to be open and kind
kind in their pursuit of hope
hope in a future with faith
faith to explore their visions
visions which include freedom
freedom to be who they want
want liberty to be true
true to themselves and others
others will sense their candor
candor can open their hearts
hearts full of caution and need
need for happiness and love
love that can flow free and grow
grow bolder and healthier
healthier with no limits
limits waived to let in ease
ease to speak sad, bad or glad
glad for the attention paid
paid with interest rendered
rendered with care and silence
silence to own the moments
moments of brave and real words
words that play their part fully
fully fulfilling their aim
aim to relay ideas
ideas that add a depth
depth of spirit and purpose
purpose to convey knowledge
knowledge to fit in the scheme
scheme to spread peace,hope and truth
truth will overwhelm their souls
souls which want to sway and shout
shout out with passionate joy
joy that arrives with frankness
frankness that has radiance
radiance with daring flare
flare that will inspire sharing
sharing our every thought
thought thrown out to reach and teach
teach each other that words help
help to heal all that we feel

The man who lived in the
back of my mind,
has now appeared.
He has always lived in
a fleeting fantasy,
caught between ennui
and discontentment.
But now he lives,
he exists.
Perhaps I am just a bit mad,
Perhaps my unhappiness
has brought me to this
state of mania.
My imagination taking over
every thought process
that I possess.

Perhaps he wasn't really
standing right there,
he wasn't actually
talking to me, with a voice
I could swear I knew.
Maybe tomorrow
I will realize that my mind
hasn't been functioning
quite properly.
That my heart has been
so very lonely,
for such a long time;
that I've let caprice
just build and grow
without any thought
to rationality.

But then tomorrow came.
He was there again.
With the same smile,
the same words spoken.
Only now, I can't seem
to remember my past...

He sits in the corner
I know he is there
without even looking,
he's always there:
when I come, when I go
in the light, in the dark
in the day, in the night
if I am alone or if in company
I've asked him to be quiet
"PLEASE" I've begged
if just only whilst I sleep
He admits he's just unable to
as I must understand
he will always be present
as long as I am

Give to me your smiles,
your heart, your wiles
That's all I need

Let me hear your laughter
your happily ever after
That's all I want

Tell me all of your fears
I'll kiss away all your tears
that's all I ask

Lend me your time
I'll give to you mine
That's all there is

If I believe in fate
then how do I explain him

He's here, he's in my head
he's invaded my heart

But does he belong here?

He's my waking thought
my sleeping dreams
my soul's happiness
my body's ecstasy

He's my pasts emptiness and
he's my futures presents

But maybe fate is just a
subconscious wish that
I'm destined to believe

If love finds you
isn't that all that's true

Shouldn't you take the chance
even if it's a sinful dance

Could you just follow your heart
setting your mind apart

Hoping you have done no wrong
you only listened to the song

Your soul filled with joy
even as each step set to destroy

How could such love be so bad
maybe truth is only for the mad

put me on
as you would a shirt,
your hands
reach inside of me,
your head
the center of my heart,
I fit snug against
your belly and
caress your back
with every movement,
my fabric soothes you
each motion you make
pulls my weave tighter
and secures our bond,
my color suits you
choose me each and
every morning
I'll be your armor,
take me off
with the greatest care
press and fold me,
let me rest my
seamly soul
next to your
til the day
turns you

the taste of knowledge
like a deep dark chocolate
leaving a silky
philosophy to caress
the inner depths of reason

you tell me what you need to hear;
I'll do the same and we'll make this very clear

you give me what I'm looking for now;
I'll do the best I can to please you and how

we can carry on in this blissful lie;
til guilt turns up with the cast of the die

then you will move on to other tragic,
deserted parts
and I'll trudge  along, to the next
in line of lonely hearts

As the wind surrounds me
I catch a waft of scent
from which direction was it meant

Beryl blue is the sky today
I inhale an essence so pure
from whence it came, is heaven I'm sure

There is an aura of tranquility
I feel a substance in the atmosphere
it pulls me in and holds me near

I close my eyes and take a breath
I wait for that bittersweet balm
it has some power that turns me calm

As happiness envelops me
I appreciate all that I cannot see
and am grateful to just be

she heard about it
words: nouns used to describe her
is this how she's seen
if only people thought twice
before they spread vile judgements

I gave away a part of myself
a part I don't want back
I can't take it back now
it will always belong to him

No worry, I have been fully
compensated tenfold
I won't be forgetting his heart
anytime throughout my life
It used to beat with mine
kept rhythm with time

I can still wake in the night
I can still feel him there
I'm sure he's still here
even though I know I left him
at the cemetery yesterday

I feel released
no constraints
no permission needed
move as I wish
do as I please
I laugh and sing
Ropes are loosened
that once cut off
my circulation
I now breath
without restriction,
I stretch and grow
I feel free
I feel good
I am delivered
dance through the night
catching dawns skyline
in love and happy