I want to lay in bed with you
No thoughts of ***
Racing through my body
But the only thought
I'll allow tonight
Is the thought of holding you
Under every moonlit lullaby
And let stars watch with full smiles
As they witness my love for you grow
I don't care what the world has I say
I'd rather you call me your teddy bear
Than they'll know I'm not in it for the ***
The royal treatment is for you
And this late night cuddle session
Is only the beginning
Because tonight I'm going to show you
That even with my weakness
I'll protect you through the night
I'll be your dream catcher
Your luck rabbits foot
And chase away the worries of tomorrow
I'll cuddle concrete
I'll cuddle rose pedals
But nothing in this world
Could ever amount to the roaring passion
I can ever feel
When its your heart and soul I cuddle with
Your my yesterday
My every day tomorrow
And the last thing I want to embrace
When I fall asleep thinking of you
This late night cuddle session
Isn't over because I'll hold you
Till the moon and sun decide to collide
I love you like teddy bears love cuddling
And theirs nothing this teddy bear loves more
Than loving you

Put away your tools. I only want you to hear.
Don't try to fix me. I cannot be fixed.
Accept that or not.
Don't question my pain when you have lied to me.
Don't question my instincts when they are correct
And you don't like the answer they find.
All I asked for was the whole truth.
You opted not to give it.
Suffer the consequences the same as I have had to.
Don't try to fix me. I cannot be fixed.
I ache with the emptiness I hold within.
We filled me with pain together
There's room for no more.
Don't ask me to be blind.
I see as I always have.
I cannot swallow the lies and omissions anymore.
I am bloated with them.
I cannot give what I do not have.
I cannot give what you will not accept.
The resentments will follow us unless
We can be truthful.
They consume us.
I cannot ask for what you will not give willingly.
Don't try to fix me. There is nothing left to fix.
Let us build something new with the truth.
Stop hiding and come build with me.
This is how you can help me and help us.

Nostalgia is a man I have memories with,
                                    but no knowledge of.
He is a tree rooted in mystery
with leaves that shade
         the hungry mouth of a river
         malnourished--
pale skin stretched over tendon.
Release
palm upturned in offering
always offering
even with nothing to give.
Nostalgia
                 never learned hatred,
                                                       but bitterness
cold winter biting at smoking hands
bony fingers raw and red and reaching
                                                        ­             out out out
for empty air

Empty, nothing
Dark, black
Sadness, sickness
Hurt, pain
Helpless

Why does this have to happen to you?
I wish i can take it away.
Wash it away with tears. I wish.
I just want to go back and relive with you
You're beautiful, i love you so much.

Im sorry for what you have to go through.  You don't deserve this. its all too much, but you will beat this because you are a survivor. Youre alive full of life, love, hope, happiness, strength. You got this. Im here for you. We're here for you.

I love you Mom.

We All hAve them
Some Are smAll and meAn nothing if discovered
Others if espied will either destroy yourself or those close to you
For some lying is their only choice
And their lies go to their grAve with themselves
Not everyone can lie with eAse
And others Are put in situations where lying becomes second nAture
They may not wAnt to lie  
But lying is their only choice
Like they sAy two can only keep A secret if one of them is deAd
You may thing your secret is safe
But As they sAy trust no one
And keep your friends close but your enemies closer
And never trust Anyone but yourself
BecAuse you know what you're capAble of
And you may not know truly whAt others are capable of  
Trust no one but yourself
BecAuse who do we have to turn to when All falls
BecAuse our lies eat us up on the inside
They destroy us and everyone we cAre about
They can turn even the sAnest person into an insaAe psychopAthy
It slices through people’s heArts and can come out of nowhere and stab you in the back
Lying is a game
We chose to play the game everyday
To protect ourselves and those who we love
Some lies we keep are not even ours to keep
And those are the ones that ear us alive on the inside
Puppeteers control us like puppets because of the lies we have told
And in the game of lying the only way to win is to be a good girl and have no lies

But even good girls lie