You were there for me
or so I'd like to think,
but not what I like to say
when I'm asked about you.

Your words spun around my head
and to this day,
I still remember when you said
You weren't afraid to die
and that you knew                                               I was
And I still remember how I felt
when I said you were wrong,
but I knew you were right.

I remember your hand
splashing across my face
like a tsunami crashing down
on me
I was weak and you knew this.
You knew I was weak, and
you know you changed me
with a stencil tracing of your hand
in red, on my face.

But did you know I missed you?

Running my head across
the smooth landscape that is
the side of your face
I see plants living and breathing,
a plethora of animals
instinctually battling to survive,
A family of three; a mother, her child and a dog
straining all resources in front of them to pass this
day-by-day struggle

But I see more than that
I see the color in your eyes
those ruby constellations
and I see them staring back at me
painting the picture of what we want
and what we need
painting the picture of you and me
as simple as that.

Live before you breathe

Breathe before you die.

Die before you Regret

Regret before you live.

The lingering last of

your lungs in my lungs

leaves me loathing

the life I left.

Don’t leave me, to think. You know
I’ll throw my life away, maybe
just mentally, never fully physically.
Because I hate it,the solitude of my
mind, the constant torture of the
veins of my brain, the straining my
heart endures. But even though I
hate this way, the way my brain
controls my emotions, I like the way
it spawns new life. I like the
way it makes me feel. I like
the way it makes me fade.
It soothes my brain, this loathing
I posses. It makes me feel alive.
And all though I hide from that
feeling, it brews inside, shadowed
by the circumference of my world,
my chamber of thoughts, My
Kingdom, which, by all means, is my life.
I love you, as much as I love me,
which, despite legend, isn't a lot.
But at least now you know what
my brain is like. So don’t
question my sanity. I’m normal.
**Don’t question my sanity. I’m normal.