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Z Jan 2013
Ash
I am not ready just yet
to write the story
of the boy who's heart I broke.
I'll get there someday.
Z Jan 2013
I am not better when I am with you,
Just a better version of myself,
different, and whole.
You pull my secrets from my lungs,
and suffocate my fears.
I don't know who I am on my own now,
and that is okay,
but sometimes I feel that
I am not better when I am with you,
just different.
And I wish I could be who I really am,
and broken,
waiting to be fixed,
again.
Z Jan 2013
Six years later, and I'm still here,
tapping on these keys,
sentences of our love story.

And it goes like this:

He was a boy,
And she was a girl,
both with the best of intentions.
He liked her,
And she liked him,
And that was that for a while.
But the girl had another fella,
One that always made her sad,
So to him she said "See ya later."
Now the boy and the girl
they could be together, and it was right,
And they laughed by day, and they kissed at night.
The boy would look into the girl's eyes,
And say, "I love you. You're mine."
So months went by,
But for the boy, his attention span grew short.
He made the girl cry,
He told her he tried, but their love just wasn't for real.
She wondered, what the hell?
Because in love she had fell,
And the boy just said, "I'm sorry."
Now the boy and the girl, were no longer a pair,
They both went their separate ways.
And the girl slit her wrists,
And the boy clenched his fists,
because it was the biggest mistake he made.

And our love story died
A long and slow death.

The boy strung her along,
for far too long.
And more than once,
told her he wanted her back.
And the girl, she believed him,
because she couldn't do anything else,
and the boy, he left her,
again.

And our love story died,
it finally died,
the day you looked into her eyes
and said, "I love you. You're mine."
Z Jan 2013
Do you remember me?
The girl that loved you,
once upon a time.

I used to make wishes on
daisy petals for you,
that you would be mine forever.

We used to write notes back and forth
and you'd fold mine into cranes and frogs,
and place them in my locker in between class.

I used to sit next to you, real close, at The Shack
and eat a BLT, and my leg would tap, tap, tap
trying to shake away the nerves.

You used to talk about the galaxy and it's infinity
as we sat in the bed of your old, rusted truck
and the moonlight would dance across the pond and onto our young faces.

I used to whisper to you on the phone,
real late at night when I was supposed to be asleep,
and you would whisper back, even though you didn't have to hush.

We used to talk about years down the road,
about now, and what our lives would be like,
together, for certain.

Do you remember me?
The girl that you loved back,
once upon a time.

Do you remember me?
The girl that you left behind.
Z Jan 2013
The day is coming.
It will be here before I know it.
It will be a Sunday morning.
I will curl my hair pretty and gloss my lips an innocent shade of pink.
I will put on a nice dress, nice shoes, and a nice necklace.
I will look so nice.
Much nicer than I usually look Sunday mornings.
I will disguise my hangover with the sent of lavender oil,
and the blackest coffee known to man.
I will take a look at myself in my bathroom mirror, I mean really
Take a look at myself,
At what the past four years have meant to me, and to my family.
Then I will put on the cap, and frown because no one ever looks pretty in those **** things.
Then I will put on the gown, and feel nervous, excited, ready.
My mom, my dad, my brother,
They will all be there, also looking nice.
And I will go to the stadium, sit in my seat between two strangers who's names also begin with "Kh."
And my heart will pound,
and my palms will sweat,
and my mouth will dry,
and then they will call my name,
and I will stand up and smile, proudly.
And I will be a college graduate,
One of the first in my family.
Z Jan 2013
Oh no, I choked.
"What are you proud of?" she asked.
It all hung on that one moment,
And I said no words that made sense, just
Sweaty palms and an anxious voice
speaking
much
too
quickly
about something I'm not even proud of.
Not at all.
Z Jan 2013
Sometimes I go out at night
And sometimes I drink a little too many ***** tonics
And the next morning I forget that I did things like,
Kiss you in the alleyway behind my apartment
And that I said things like,
I love you.
And that you pulled away and looked at me, or through me
At the glow of the neighbor's television
And that I cried, and breathed deeply, gasping
As you shook your head,
I'm sorry...
And then I remember, and then I wish I could forget
Again.
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