The purpose of your life is often forgotten
and at times it doesn't even matter.
You toil hard to recollect it, reconsider it and somehow
Reconstruct it.
For a while, you take pride in seeing what you have rebuilt from scratch, from broken bones.
But that moment of self-appraisal is so ephemeral that you fail to capture it like you have done all your life for tons of other moments, you thought were vital.
But they were lost in the mist of
Procrastination and complacency, your only two bullets in your barrel.
So you are done recreating your purpose, one more night went by
without your eyes getting what they have craved for years, sleep.
Your brain exhausted and demolished inch by inch in the futile iterations, but you don't give up. And yet those red cracked up
dry eyeballs don't fail to do What they do best, see through the cracks lines of your glued pieces.
They exactly know how and when they will fall apart again for they have seen the same now for untrackable times.
Your head doesn't even try to comprehend what you are
forcing it to understand. For it has accurately anticipated the outcome.
After all, past experiences do save a lot of time effort and energy. Once again you have ruined your night, and perhaps the day to come and years to go.
All your determination spent in useless resolutions that are destined to doom tomorrow first thing in the morning.
Coz you have used freshly brewed Willpower to exhilarate a soul that seeks rest and solitude and blankness, a speck of nothingness if possible only for a second.
How pathetic is your cognition, failing to apprehend your own mind while you live your life in vanity claiming to understand others?
For once in your life, surrender.Raise both your hands and say "**** this ****". Go far far away from the things, people and places you are remotely familiar with.
Give your thoughts a ventilation and your head a passage for clearance. Pour every drop of them into a pit and cover it with rich humid assimilation.Don't worry if they will germinate.Just leave them there on their own.
Move away to the edge of nothingness, clearing the shelves, dusting off all phony ideas, dreams, and whatnots, you have accumulated during those insipid nights which you thought were your companions, your shed of solitude for you were a fool.
For once, surprise yourself, love yourself like you have done to everyone else in your life but you.
For once, don't bother thinking before doing something.
For once, taste the mystical taste of consequences no matter how grave they may be.
For once, just do it and let time and another side of your brain handle the rest. It has been there for a while now doing nothing but watching the other half thinking, compiling junks for years.
This is nothing but bathing your soul, your conscience, your perspective in the spring of voidness.