I can’t talk to you about this cause if I did
I would tell you that my heart is aching
and hurting so bad I just wanna rip it out
out of my chest with my own bare hands
I would tell you that I’m so depressed
that I sometimes wonder why I keep
fighting this battle with myself and I wonder
if it’ll ever stop hurting the way it does now
If we talked about this I would fall apart
and I don’t have time to fall apart cause
I’m busy holding myself together with tape and glue

*(s.m)

I always thought I knew lonely,
Like I knew her sinful curves and crushing caress.
But if there is something this year has taught me,
This year of new, and discovery, and sweet sadness,
It's that I never knew lonely.
She and I had merely danced together at a ball,
Or shared a joke at a bar.
Lonely and I were but aquintances,
Passing strangers in the street.

I know now that lonely is like an expectant lover.
She is omnipresent,
She is always there reminding you that they are out there,
While you are in here alone.
Lonely doesn't possess curves,
Nor do her gnarled hand caress,
She is ugly and suffocating,
She is ever-present,
Reminding you,
That they are still out there,
Without you.

life used to come so easily
up until recently,
because lately i've been
feeling a bit blue.
i'm drowning in
a compilation
of unsolved puzzles,
and i can't seem to find
the right combination
to solve all of these troubles,
because these waters
are becoming
too deep.

Survive yourself first
Discover your thirsts
Quench them but in quiet waters

Find the path among the twisted roots
Invent the peace that does not exist
Be your day

i need you to need me

falling in love is like learning how to swim for the first time and not knowing when you would finally drown

how can you make me feel both empty and alive