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200 · Feb 2023
Little Joys
Doshi Feb 2023
Arizona sunsets
all encompassing hugs
a stranger's compliment
a familiar, once-lost song
fleetingly transport
to a time before
before yearning, before loss
Moments that quench my thirst
and remind me
I'm right where I belong

If only they added up
and made up for
the seemingly missing -
a pair of lips pressed against mine
someone to share the mundane
For now I embrace this
Hopper-esque combination
of peace and melancholy
nostalgia and (be)longing
hoping these little joys
will be more than enough
196 · Mar 2022
Alone With Me
Doshi Mar 2022
I was told to become
my own best friend
so I tried
I really tried
bundled up
and took myself out
coffee shops, jazz bars, long walks
sat for hours wrapped in thought
sometimes truly felt okay
but on down days
hugging myself just never felt
quite the same
196 · May 2022
Empty Seat
Doshi May 2022
The black leather chair
Got whiter by the day
Heavy with memories of you
Fading away
196 · Apr 2019
El Fin
Doshi Apr 2019
Last breath
The end
Chest open
Inhale
Three
Two
One
Let go
Be gone
196 · Apr 2019
kitchen sink cookie
Doshi Apr 2019
hazelnut crunch
salted pretzel
extra dark chocolate
burnt caramel drizzle
A satisfaction unmatched
lingers on my tongue
a shame I ate the last one
194 · Apr 2024
Show and Tell
Doshi Apr 2024
Sick of defending my worth
while you're constantly complaining,
putting on a show.
Our castle is made of toothpicks, look closer
And I'm done rebuilding after each one of your blows.
We know we're not changing
so spare me the side hugs - let's cut our losses.
I'll lie here scattered amongst the others who fell short, content
as you revel in your face-value ties, buying friendships
emerald for emerald, eye for eye
seeing who you can impress next
til daddy's bank runs dry
194 · Aug 2022
Numb
Doshi Aug 2022
Pinch me
Fold me
Make me scream
Use me
Choose me
Let me dream
Bite me
Fight me
Let me bleed
Cloak me with your cool breath
Tell me you want me
Make me plead
Hurt me
Hold me
Whatever you need
As long as it reminds me
What it's like to feel
193 · Apr 2022
Nearsighted
Doshi Apr 2022
I've found there exists a fine line
between carefree and careless
and (un)lucky for me
even with thick lenses
I struggle to see it
193 · Mar 2023
Up In Smoke
Doshi Mar 2023
You may have lit the match
but I had already poured
gasoline all over the floor
Darling, we were only
meant to unite in smoke
192 · Nov 2021
Fall
Doshi Nov 2021
I hate when people say stay strong
just because they can't stand
to see me fall
the person who taught me to live is gone
and now I'm older than she was
the day we first spoke of her in past tense

Seasons twice changed
the trees nearly bare now
still my mind barrages my heart
with memories as I struggle to accept it

Maybe one day I'll pick myself up
but for now
I'm staying on the ground
on a bed of soggy autumn leaves
drenched in tears
190 · Oct 2021
Holding on/Letting go
Doshi Oct 2021
If the petals
can still cling
to their limbs amidst a storm
I suppose I can stand tall
upon a change in the winds
186 · Jun 2021
Man in the Moon
Doshi Jun 2021
I dream of the night
I can stare at the moon
and not be reminded of you

And until then
I hope the sun
swaddles me tight
185 · Apr 2019
Comforter
Doshi Apr 2019
lay on top of me
deadweight
until its safe
180 · Dec 2022
Shadow Comforts
Doshi Dec 2022
In the shadows of my mind
somewhere behind
useless facts and birth dates of
those no longer in my life
I hope to excavate
memories of childhood
distant comforts
like after-school walks 'round the block
cozy movie nights, three on the couch
follow-up recaps over lunch
whiffs of my mother's Indian cooking
met with scoffs
sounds of crickets at dusk
and more non-events that have led me
to these renewed moments of musing
173 · Mar 2019
Sin Taxes
Doshi Mar 2019
A few hours of elation
followed by weeks of self-deprecation
Here I am
in trouble again

At least now the greens are gone
soon I’ll even be rid of the bottle
but letting go of our playful banter
is punishment I don’t want to handle

So go ahead and tax me
for pretending there ever was a “you and me”
172 · Oct 2021
Un-alone
Doshi Oct 2021
We sat mostly in silence
six-pack beside us
on that brittle October night
As the second hand slid further
past a day no longer
I tried my hardest
to keep my eyes from swelling
my limbs, trembling
watching the pristine skyline
flaunt its might
Amongst scattered words,
in hindsight, superfluous
turned out your presence was all I needed
to feel most un-alone
To my friend who's always there.
161 · Nov 2022
Cherry
Doshi Nov 2022
I can't let go
of the day when everything was tinted gold
and the sun felt a little warmer
those 18 hours
when I felt so wanted
reacquainted with hope
formerly buried beneath
layers of disappointment
Now I find myself
chasing that high over and over
and catching whiffs of sweet cherries
that kissed your neck
that one night together we spent
160 · Dec 2021
At Least There's Heat
Doshi Dec 2021
The radiator screams
intrudes a good night's sleep
and derails my dream
the only place these days
I feel peace

I’m left to stare at the ceiling
envying all the rest
my upstairs neighbors are getting
I wonder, what are they dreaming
as the heat ensconces me
and I turn to my side
waiting apprehensively
for the next shriek
155 · Nov 2022
What's Meant For You...
Doshi Nov 2022
I've never believed in meant to be
just happenstance
that swallows me whole
and sharpens each blow
each time I'm let down
Today I wipe away another tear
and think to myself
how sweet it would be
to share a bed
with destiny
154 · Jul 2021
Cntrl Alt Unlove
Doshi Jul 2021
You gave me all the affection
all the affirmations
made me feel secure, seen
sure
all the while
full of doubts that you stored
quietly under the rug
the one we bought together
for our new home
the one I threw out today
in hopes of learning how to unlove
135 · Jan 2020
Winter's Woe
Doshi Jan 2020
Abandoned, forlorn
A single glove on the floor
Forever alone
119 · Oct 2021
Counting
Doshi Oct 2021
It’s been four years
since we've talked
hugged
laughed
I think of you
now more than ever
and regret that I couldn't before
suppose it was just too hard
but with each passing year
its harder to distract myself, ignore
I wonder how different life would be
if you were still here
I wonder what will happen
in another four
112 · Feb 2018
T-1
Doshi Feb 2018
T-1
I thought that sleep would be the best way
to temporarily forget

until I heard your voice in my dreams
and woke up in a sweat

knowing that after tomorrow
I'd never hear it again

— The End —