yndn - Hello Poetry

yndn 2h

Life’s plans don’t always unfold the way we expect, but God’s timing is far greater than our own.

In 2023, I was diagnosed with Conn’s syndrome and arrhythmia—a tormenting discovery. But I placed my worries in God alone, praying for a miracle.
When my doctor told me my left adrenal gland needed to be removed, I faced it with faith. Through laparoscopic surgery in August 2024, I underwent the procedure.

By late October, I enrolled in an online review center for my major in English while self-studying Professional Education and General Education at home.
For five months, I listened to myself—allowing rest when I wasn’t in the mood to study, watching TV when I needed a break.
I did not overwork my mind.
I slept when I was tired, ate when I was hungry, read when I was bored.

Instead of memorizing concepts, I familiarized myself with them. When my exam came on March 23, 2025, some mnemonics I had memorized appeared, but many questions were unfamiliar.
Afterward, I was drained, so I went to see my partner, and we shared a meal.
My thoughts were exhausted, my body weary—but the experience was strangely fulfilling.

On Monday evening, a friend visited, and we spoke about everything—the exam, life, the future.
I took time to rest before preparing to find a job, whether online or in person.
Adulthood has been overwhelming, but also incredibly joyful.

Seasons of waiting teach us far more than we realize. Opportunities come and go, but taking the risk never leaves you empty-handed. If you win, wonderful—but if you lose, you walk away enriched with experience. You may begin without skill, but you end with wisdom.

God’s seasons are always beautiful if you have the patience to wait. We often lose hope when life feels stagnant, when our efforts seem insufficient. Waiting is never easy—many falters, stumble, and fail because of impatience. Rushing only leads to mistakes, while taking the time to grow brings lasting beauty.

The secret to making life beautiful isn’t in haste; it’s in the process. Growth requires patience, like a baby learning to walk—it doesn’t happen overnight. No child is born today and walking tomorrow. Every milestone takes time; every lesson is earned through practice.

Seasons of waiting test our endurance, and yes, they can feel frustrating—even overwhelming. But remember, the best things come to those who wait. In patience, we find wisdom. In slowing down, we find meaning. And in trusting the process, we discover that life unfolds exactly as it should.

yndn 19h

mistakes

When you made a mistake, others will have the right to define some meaning behind that mistake?

If yes, that is what my family always did to me.

I cheated once with my partner, although I made a bad reason to breakup with him
And the guy I cheated with, has a girlfriend
He betrayed me into telling my mother about what happened to us,
He spread rumors about me, which also made my mom angry at me at the same time

After that, she scolded me. Told me I was a flirt for flirting on other boys and cheating on my ex-boyfriend.
My ex-boyfriend cheated on me, I didn't know who or when it happened,
It just happens that I didn't know about that incident and he never got caught.
A friend of mine told me that since they were classmates, she saw my ex out with someone new after a week of breaking up with him.

My life was so ****** up.
Someone wise once said, "mistakes do not define you"
We really have no right to define them badly about their mistakes
We did not know what happened. Who are we really to judge that person when we do not even walk in the same shoes as his or hers.
We have no right to be rude about them.
Their mistakes defined them as imperfect people. We all are imperfect people but remember that God loved us so much, he sees through us and our imperfections but he never judged us.

yndn 21h

kalam ng sikmura, uhaw ng dila

Tagalog translation:
Hindi pa nga nagsisimula, tatapusin na agad?
Kesyo daw baka ibang trabaho ang aapplyan ko na hindi daw tugma sa kursong kinuha ko
Puna ng nanay kong talak ng talak na parang pinaglihi ang bungaga sa pwet ng manok
Hindi pa nga nakapagpasa ng application letter at resume negatibo agad ang nasasabi at naiisip
Ika nga nila pride does not pay your bills.
Importante ba talaga yun? Na pride ang pinapairal at hindi na lamang lunukin ang pride
Kaya hindi umaasenso ang bansa eh dahil sa negatibong pananaw ng mga tao sa lipunan
Na imbes tulungan kutyain pa lalo
Ano bang pinpupunto mo? Ano ba ang ikinakagalit mo?
Na matulad ako sa ibang tao na sapat na ang isang kahig, isang tuka
Gusto ko naman mamuhay sa mundong ito na hindi sapat ang kakarampot lang
Ngunit ibahin mo ako sa iba, ayaw kong umasa sa salitang survival of the fittest
Gusto kong maniwala sa salitang comfort of the fittest
Ayaw ko nang ma experience ulit yung ulam na toyo, suka at mantika na ihahalo sa kanin pangtawid gutom lamang
Ayaw ko nang gawing ulam ang sabaw ng noodles na abot hanggang leeg na walang kalasa-lasa para makakain lamang kaming lahat
Ayaw ko na nung mga panahon na minsan lang ako makaranas kumain sa fastfood restaurants
Ngayon hindi na tuwing birthday o kahit anong okasyon makakakain kami, kundi kung kailan may extra sa pera ko
Hindi kahihiyan ang makakamatay sa atin kundi uhaw at gutom lamang
Mamamatay nang nakadilat ang mata mo
Kahit alam **** may oportunidad na dumadaan sa mga panahong lumilipas
Mas pinili **** tumunganga na lamang sa hangin nang walang laman ang sikmura
Imbes na magsipag para may maipakain sa pamilya kahihiyan ang inuuna
Tandaan mo, wala kang laban sa sikmura **** kumakalam at dila **** uhaw
Kung hindi ka magtyaga at maghanapbuhay.

English translation:
You haven’t even started, yet they’re already shutting you down?

They say you might apply for a job that doesn’t match the degree you took. My mom, always nagging like she was born with a rooster's mouth, keeps voicing her concerns. I haven’t even submitted an application letter or a resume, and negativity is already in the air.

They say, pride doesn’t pay the bills. But is that really important? Is pride really the issue here? Should I just swallow my pride?

This is why the country doesn’t progress—because of the negative outlook of people in society. Instead of lifting each other up, they choose to mock and tear others down.

So what is the real point here? What exactly are they angry about? Do they want me to end up like others who live paycheck to paycheck, barely scraping by?

I just want to live in this world with more than the bare minimum. But unlike others, I refuse to rely on the saying "survival of the fittest." Instead, I want to believe in "comfort of the fittest."

I never want to experience another meal where soy sauce, vinegar, and oil mixed with rice are our only options just to get through the day. I never want to rely on watered-down instant noodles that stretch to feed everyone but have no real flavor.

I never want to go back to the days when dining at a fast-food restaurant was a rare treat, reserved only for birthdays or special occasions. Now, it’s no longer just a once-a-year thing—it happens whenever I have extra money.

Shame is not what will **** us—it’s thirst and hunger. You’ll die with your eyes wide open, knowing opportunities pass you by. And yet, instead of reaching for them, you choose to sit idly, stomach empty. Rather than working hard to provide for your family, you let shame control you.

Remember this—you stand no chance against a growling stomach and a thirsty tongue if you don’t hustle and work for a living.

#english #tagalog #translation

yndn 1d

shg.

when a softhearted girl with an arrhythmia cries a lot— she is hurt.

I was diagnosed with Arrhythmia way back 2023 because of having low potassium and magnesium. My heart skips a beat every 3 seconds and does a flatline for straight 2-5 seconds sometimes. The longest is 5 seconds the shortest is 3 seconds. Then it beats back again.
My heart is also in pain and swollen before, it grows large when I was 9 years old. Due to nonstop crying—so I was advised by my doctor that when you cry, do not keep it inside. Instead, shout. Cry loudly. Do not hurt your heart, it is already in pain when you cry silently. And a lot of people does that.

yndn 1d

Untitled

What I learned during my internship for Education is that:

You need to have a thick face
You have to wear a lot of masks to hide your feelings, the pain or problems at home
It should not be brought to school.

Until today, I was able to wear a lot of masks. Even at home. I wore a facade to hide my true feelings. To hide the pain.

Sometimes, when no one is around. I cry. Life is tough. But it made you stronger, not weaker.

yndn 1d

🌞⛈️

To my partner during sunny days,
We will always be happy together.
But when storms may come, waves may rise and the sunny day may hide behind the stormy clouds
We never understood each other based on the noisy banters we throw at each other.
You gaslight me of things I never said, manipulate me of things I never did
Worse of all, I never understood myself during the anxieties of the weather
Life was too short to come by,
time too limited to be wasted
I never noticed the tears that fell from my eyes
When my heart was too heavy to carry the hurt and burden I felt deep within me
My mind bursts into chaos
Too stressed to overthink of things in life we have no control of
Promises are only inside our palms, curled empty-handed
Color me intrigue of the stuffs I used to do
And cutting my hair has become a habit of mine
To relieve stress...

yndn 1d

liar

I have always wanted to be a liar.
But I was a bad liar.
I was very bad at it.
So I never comfort him with lies
But instead, I chose to hurt him with the truth.
And that is quite fair, right?
If you lie to me despite of me being truthful to you,
I felt like a bad guy in this situation.
But still, my parents still see me as a liar
Even after all this time, even I tried my best not to lie
Still, I was seen as a liar.