I'm too young to be done with battles I haven't won
There's smoke in my lungs, spilling out as I run
You wrote the letter, sealed the envelope
You propped the chair, placed my neck against the rope
But I'll tell you now, like I should have told you then,
I will never let you make me feel this way again
You think you're right, you say I'm wrong
And I bet you placed it all down in a song
I believed you, and I hated myself
You took our picture off of your shelf
And you gave it to me... why would you do that?
You stiffly patted me on the small of my back
Our friends said I'm too lovely to be treated like ****
Everyone says that I don't deserve it
But you made me feel like I truly do
Before you could abandon me, I abandoned you
But that doesn't make what you're doing okay
Pretending I don't exist, day after day
The saying goes, two wrongs don't make a right
I can't call you, so I just write and write
Hoping that soon we will clean up this mess
And end the days of frustration and loneliness
But I am doing better, at least I think so
I'm learning that sometimes love goes wrong and you have to let go
And I see now that the universe will work with you
If you have passion, ambitions, and the right attitude
I'll be ****** if I lie down and die without you here
Your love is no longer worth a single tear

You sparked a change in me, and I know you deny it
But something happened that incited an internal, dancing riot
A smile glued to my face that I couldn't push away
This gripping feeling is probably here to stay
It took over my brain; I forget everything
Especially what I'm not supposed to be doing
I got a little lost trying to find where I was supposed to go
You tell me that I should do that on my own
But if on my own means I have to go
Then maybe I can hesitate before you'd like to be alone
Your eyes look right through me and I almost see my own
As a reflection of a reflection of something you know and I don't
I kind of want to live in your bed; I wish you'd let me
You deserve to always be a constant and never be a memory
Clothes coming off in the dark, moonlight shining through
Less because of me and more because of you
Resisting temptation is my weakness
Along with you and your humbleness
Thinking of your mouth pressed to mine makes me shiver
And I constantly apologize that it's almost winter
I don't want to see you down, and I'm scared you'll pull away
But the smile you give me never fades, and maybe that will make you stay

A breather is needed before I unravel
Feels like an axe ripped open my chest
And my heart is free falling to gravel
I can't catch it - too busy thinking of what will come next
I'm tired, not dead
But dead might be the next stop
If I don't train myself to forget what you said
A gun's in my hand, I imagine the pop
Not dead, but dead tired
Blankets pulled up over my head
Chemicals, emotions, and memories conspired
Now I wouldn't mind spending a few weeks in bed
It's a pain to try and forget the things you can't help but remember
Maybe it'd help if I started taking my meds
I plan to be better for the snow in December
Because I'm just tired, not dead

If I figured it out too late, you
would possibly know that I don't have a clue
But maybe that's something you already know
Feel, touch, there's no going slow
And if there was something I would need you to hear
I'd whisper it in your ear
Not in person, of course - just on the line
Your voice drips with sleep in the night time
And I'm sorry I ruined what you thought I was
But I can't be sorry when you ruined me just because.

How is it possible to feel everything so much, and feel it all at once?

Those hands through my hair become his hands through my hair and then this.

This.

If I wasn't half asleep, I'd say there's something that I missed.

But remembering how it feels sinks deep down within me; I bury things so I can breathe.

Doesn't everybody?