I am afraid
(Of the future I’ve made)
For the boy
(Treating his body like a toy)
Who will slowly remove his shirt
(Unable to find the shadows in which he lurks)
And show her his scars
(That scatter across his whole being like stars)
His aches and pains
(The results of what drives him insane)
Bumps and rough patches
(From stabs and all of the scratches)
Marks she will look at
(While he is poised in preparation for attack)
The words he waits for
(What is wrong with you?!
What caused you to mutilate and gore?!)
The aching silence
(Leaving him to regret his self violence)
But maybe
(Because the future can’t be completely seen)
Maybe she won’t be afraid or hate the scars
(Because his body truly is marred)
Maybe she’ll tell him that she doesn’t mind
(Something i doubt, but is still possible to find)
That his scars are not something he should hide
(Terrifying, id just assume it was a lie)
That she wants to know the story behind every one
(Even though there are piles of marks, no, tons)
And she will take her hand and trace
(While he stands still, less afraid)
Every line, every dot
Every mutilation, every spot.
(While he’s waiting for the catch, the lesson he’s always been taught)
And she just stays there, looking at but not cursing him and his scars
And he thinks “maybe i can be loved, though I’m marred”

Popping pills
Tripping over window sills.
Climbing slick walls
Squeezing through narrow halls.

Tumbling and turning
Who’s singing?
Boa constrictor wrapping around my ribs
What’s truth and what’s fib?

Swirls and twirls cloud my vision
Like staring straight into the sun
Stretching my hands out reaching for something
The bells begin to ring and ding.

6 fingers 3 arms
Should i be alarmed?
Am i being embraced?
Fingers dance and trace.

My mind is a track, my heart in a race.
My blood is blue, my heart is gold.
Was it their heart i stole or my life i sold?

I lose the love,
The bad things begin to consume me
...
PILLS PILLS PILLS!!!!
Breathe in and out, it’s such a thrill.

Happy HaPpY HAPPY
Even to the trees, i am overtly sappy.
Jump! Sing! Dance!
Caught up in this maddening trance.

Am i alone inside the room?
Or is the room alone outside of me?
Are these human hands grabbing at  me?
Or are they demons that trace my heart unseen?

Is this an enchanting seductress?
Or is this the “big test”?
Drowsiness,
Sanity becoming less and less...

Fingernails raking down
My mind isn’t even in town.
Do the pills control my mind,
Or do you?

Are you my Queen?
Am i a King to you?
Or just a another jester for when you’re in the mood.
Do I mean anything?

You’re the Queen of too many hearts,
The minute you look at us it starts.
Off with our heads!
Sanity and common sense are dead.

We run around each other like rabbits,
Can’t keep calm! Can’t even sit!
Constantly moving, following you.
You cage me like an animal in a zoo.
I’m stuck on a leash,
Forced to follow you.

Grasping at straws,
Flowers begin to talk.
Need more meds!!
Dragons fly around my bed?!
Fires start in my head.

Where did i put them?!
My gems!!
They make me happy!!
I need them to be me!

WHERE ARE MY PILLS?!?!
Careful little rabbit or i might ****.
HAHAHAHA
Sickly smiles and terrifying wiles,
I must’ve gone mad!!
Should I be sad or glad?

HAPPY UN-BIRTHDAY TO YOU!!!
WILL YOU LEAVE ME TOO??!!
Tea time, TeA TiMe!
The madness is only mine!!!

Won’t give it up,
Drink from your poisoned cup!
Follow closely behind.
Or the darkness will catch you in a bind.

I may be the Mad Hatter in this zoo,
But i was once an Alice too.
Don’t trust any Queen of Hearts,
For Her wits will drive you mad, unable to outsmart.