The definition of insanity

Is repeating
And expecting a different result
And expecting a different result
And expecting a different result this time, when you look at her, look her in the eyes.

Take her by the hand.
Tell her you're not insane.
Tell her you're not giving up.

That the willingness to fight for a different outcome is not the equivalent of the same burning embers which have scorned you.

You have no clue
How upset i was when i couldn’t see you.
“Poor connection” was what it said,
An “utterly unfair annoyance” is what i read.

Your music tastes are amazing
And if I’m being honest, i love hearing you sing.
That sounded a little weird, i wont deny.
But it’s true, so there’s no need to lie.

I’d love to listen to music with you
Or we could just lose ourselves in conversation too.

I know I live across the states,
But I hope to see you someday.

What's wrong with you, with us,
what's happening to us?
Ah our love is a harsh cord
that binds us wounding us
and if we want
to leave our wound,
to separate,
it makes a new knot for us and condemns us
to drain our blood and burn together.

What's wrong with you? I look at you
and I find nothing in you but two eyes
like all eyes, a mouth
lost among a thousand mouths that I have kissed, more beautiful,
a body just like those that have slipped
beneath my body without leaving any memory.

And how empty you went through the world
like a wheat-colored jar
without air, without sound, without substance!
I vainly sought in you
depth for my arms
that dig, without cease, beneath the earth:
beneath your skin, beneath your eyes,
nothing,
beneath your double breast scarcely
raised
a current of crystalline order
that does not know why it flows singing.
Why, why, why,
my love, why?

It hasn’t been very long that’s true,
But i feel just as safe as you.
I want to know it all
And I’d love to FaceTime call.
I want to be there for you
Whenever you’re feeling blue.
I want this too
So of course it’s okay
Whenever you feel bad and want to talk, you just need to say.
Okay?

I’m gonna have to be careful with you
Because you live so far, you make me wanna be there too.
And every poem or message i read
Just makes me more intrigued.
And though a relationship would be hard
And we both have scars.
I’m all too willing to try,
All too willing to fight.
I’m sorry it took me forever to read your poem
It didn’t show up on my home and
I know that fear
It’s scary that I’m putting myself semi-out there.
And you’re not just another person to talk to,
I have a fastly growing interest in you.
And not just an interest, but feelings too.

I have an addiction
Oh how i wish it was a work of fiction
I cannot wait to feel my blade
Every time it touches my skin i feel saved.
Sweet bliss, until i am entranced
Twisting, turning, and weaving. Our dance.
We speak only to each other.
Not caring for any other.
Alone, but not alone, with our toxic love.

It makes me feel whole
When i am alone
And i have no home
And live in isolation
It is but a small trade, take and give some.

What is blood and pain,
When you want to be saved?
What sacrifice is too much
When all you want is to be loved.
Toxicity doesn’t matter
When you just want to stop getting sadder.

I CANT
I CANT STOP
THE BLADE
ITS TOO MUCH
THE BLOOD IS ALL AROUND ME
FALLING FALLING
DRENCHING THE GROUND
I NEED HELP
The liquid, it makes a repulsive sound.

AHHHHHHHHHH

ring around the rosie
pocket full of posey
raining raining
we all come back another day

Help meeeee
The insanity is CONTROLLING my brain!
I’m not sure if i already said this
But I’m going IIIINSAAAANEEEE
HA HA HA
I’m gone . . .
But not for long!!!

How can i truly be gone
When this pain just keeps c-c-c-cutting
me . . . off
HA the sky is full
But love is bull
And affection is null
While my mind i duel.

Obsession, Depression
Are wondrous traits.
One will bleed love
The other, hate

There i am, in the hellish hearts
Tortured in agony, becoming art.
Please just
. . .
Just leave me alone
. . .
Alone in the dark

Alone with my heart.

How shattered,
With blood splattered
Crimson on my skin, I’ve been slathered
Trying to put back the pieces that have been scattered.

Am i sane?
Am i still in control of my brain?

Sometimes i feel on charge, the leader.
Other times i feel weak
Looking through my eyes like windows, watching meekly.

Is music an escape?
From my pain?
Is it too late?
Have i lost my brain?

I just want to see the stars.

Stupidity.
What does it mean?
Is it when you lose your glasses and stumble around since you can't see?
Is it when you save all your homework for the Last Possible Second
Because work is a force you're not willing to reckon?
Is it when you try to ignore the feelings inside
Because confronting them is harder than making up a lie?
In that case, I must be a stupid boy.

You have tears? Well I have tissues
You want to talk? I understand, I also have some issues.
Bad times can always do a 180 flip
As long as you're willing to let your feelings slip.

Pain,
It's something I know that I face everyday
It's made me think that I'm insane.
It's made me force myself to have nothing to say.

Granted I've never seen you face-to-face
But from writing and chatting I'd like to think I have a pretty good base.
Maybe a little shaky because we only recently met
Getting to know someone's soul can take awhile,
But it's worth it, to see them smile.

Crying.
If I said I didn't do it, I'd be outright lying.
Sometimes emotions are overwhelming
And towards myself I end up yelling.
And I wonder what leads me to think this way,
How do I stop it? What do I do or say?

Invisible?
I often wonder if I'm fictional.
If my problems really exist
Or if I'm a quick doodle by some artist.

Sometimes trying
Starts with crying.
Would you write with a mechanical pencil
If it was all backed up?
And sometimes we need to be existential.
How else would we grow?
And learn the things we need to know?

Love may feel unobtainable
And you may feel barely durable.
But if you're going to whisper,
Then I'm going to shout.

I KNOW THAT IT'S EASIER TO DOUBT
AND TO BLUR IT ALL OUT
BUT I'D LIKE TO SAY HELLO
IN AN ATTEMPT TO SHOW
THAT I DO CARE
AND I'M WILLING TO LISTEN,
IF YOU'RE WILLING TO SHARE.

Demons will push
And Demons will play
But don’t let them scare
The ones you love away.

Thoughts may consume
Common sense trapped in a tomb
Demons can stay
Or demons can go,
Sometimes it’s better to let someone know.
I know that it’s easier to smile
But try to rely on others every once in awhile.