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209 · Jul 2016
Murmurs
xmxrgxncy Jul 2016
the memories in the back of my mind
rattle their cages restlessly
but I won't let them escape
208 · Nov 2019
ribbon
xmxrgxncy Nov 2019
you've worn my pages down so that i'll always open up to the same place unbidden
and that my book of 140 pages ends on page 39
everyone thinks that's how my story finishes
but in reality it's because you've ripped out the last chapters
207 · Nov 2019
Tile
xmxrgxncy Nov 2019
Why did you weigh me down
If you wanted me to swim to you
207 · May 2016
Fine Print
xmxrgxncy May 2016
There's nothing against that in the contract.

Contributions can be arranged.

But you'll have to bring me these
In person.....

....come to me.
207 · Nov 2016
Breaking News
xmxrgxncy Nov 2016
a plane crashed
killed a soccer team

a serial killer
was caught

two family members
were murdered

a hurricane
formed down south

my depression
has come back
breaking news. yay.
205 · May 2016
Waltz
xmxrgxncy May 2016
I suppose we could become legend.
Or we could weave ourslves a knoll
In which to rest
And one day
Maybe one day
We could.....
205 · Jan 2017
Sometimes?
xmxrgxncy Jan 2017
I have these little flurries, sometimes.

I tend to feel very introverted, very tired, very unencouraged.

But then a song comes on.

And I am invincible.

What does the beat do to me?
Easy.
It shocks my heart back into rhythm.
204 · Sep 2015
Except
xmxrgxncy Sep 2015
Loving arms last forever
Except when they don’t…
We’ll always stay together
Except when you won’t…

Our love is a river
That never runs dry
Except when we wither
And aridly die.
Our faith is the wind
That boosts us high
Except when we spiral
Down from the sky.

To stay with you
Is my only goal
Except when you break
This young heart you stole.
I like to think life is mine alone,
That I have grasped it, EXCEPT
You’re gone, nowhere to be found
So vicious tears I’ve wept.
204 · Oct 2016
shaking
xmxrgxncy Oct 2016
shaking, shaking-
did YOU know I was shaking-
quaking, quaking,
for my thoughts have run sharp.
204 · Apr 2016
In Reality
xmxrgxncy Apr 2016
There's no such thing as "not enough time"

There's "enough" time

You just have to be willing

To share it

Are you?
203 · May 2016
Word War One
xmxrgxncy May 2016
If I ever displeased you
Would you fight me with words?

Would you pin me down with pentameter?

Curiosity, I'm afraid, gets the best of me....
203 · Oct 2016
destroy
xmxrgxncy Oct 2016
i can claim to know my flowerbed
and the lives left on the shelf
but to water them, says my lost head
would destroy my vacant self
203 · Nov 2016
sick
xmxrgxncy Nov 2016
i'm sick of being told to forget
        i've forgotten
i'm sick of being admonished for the truth
        i've been truthful
i'm sick of being exhausted after eight hours of sleep
       i've been sleeping
i'm sick of not even beginning to know who I am
       i've lost myself
203 · Aug 2016
WTF(Meaning)
xmxrgxncy Aug 2016
Wait
to
                                        y

                        l
f
203 · Aug 2016
gardens
xmxrgxncy Aug 2016
her mind was a rose bed
and he was a new bottle of roundup
203 · May 2016
If He Just Opened
xmxrgxncy May 2016
His eyes....
He'd see a whirlwind of sheet music and splattered neon paint
His ears.....
He'd understand what I mean when I wish him well
His heart...
Would he let me in?
201 · Sep 2016
Tried
xmxrgxncy Sep 2016
To fall is to              y
                    l
f  

To live is to
                 d
                             i
                                      e

But to fail is quite folly
For have you even tried?
201 · May 2016
Lost Souls
xmxrgxncy May 2016
We're all lost souls
Following in a line,
To cover all the holes
That we have left behind...

The dust that bites our necks
Pushes us to win,
Making us regret
The times we didn't sin.

Clothed in light
Carrying pistols of tear
We are not bright;
But rather, made of fear.

So greet us if you dare
Climb with us up high
Sing and writhe and stare
As we fade into the night....
201 · Jun 2016
Wait For Me
xmxrgxncy Jun 2016
Within the confines of the
flesh pulsating
dotted with fragments of lace
and ripped, smoldering
remains of valentines
from years ago
201 · May 2016
Justice(Definition)
xmxrgxncy May 2016
Watching him burn in hell
And repeating the words
He said to you
When he left
For the final time
201 · Aug 2016
Poe-try
xmxrgxncy Aug 2016
Quoth the starling, "Forevermore."
200 · May 2016
See
xmxrgxncy May 2016
See
Just because I barely know you
doesn't mean I can escape from your eyes
I've never seen his eyes...but I want to. Starting a mini series about this guy.
200 · Jan 2016
Sunshine
xmxrgxncy Jan 2016
White troops
Loose ground and fall back swiftly
Spring sunshine
200 · Sep 2015
Heartless
xmxrgxncy Sep 2015
Darkness.
That’s how it all began, wasn’t it?
And that’s how it will end……
…..I think…..
I’ve been falling forever.
No start.
No end.
It’s all the same now, really.
And who am I?
I don’t dare answer that.
Names, addresses, pictures….
They all swim through my head,
Without warning, with no preset destination.
And the silence.
Oh, the silence.
It deafens me.
Slithering like an eell in and out of my head,
I quake at the sound.
This frightens me
I am never scared.
Sheepish, determined, maybe.
But never afraid.
But wait!
What is that?
……………….
…….a light………..
And it’s calling to me.
I know this voice, this figure, these eyes.
And I am not afraid.
199 · Oct 2016
Choose
xmxrgxncy Oct 2016
You state your purpose quite clearly, love, yet how do you propose to obtain it? I, unlike the countless girls you have loved, have spouted words for, will not fall that easily, will not let you read me. Yes, I may wear my heart on my sleeve, but it is sewn there with the tightest and most precise stitches. How will your deign to rip it from its’ rightful place?


You know, perhaps I like being alone sometimes, did you ever imagine that? The roar of the silence and the blinding quality of the shadows are my home, why have you come in to destroy them and replace them with something all your own?


Yet being the simple shadow of being alone and the ecstasy of being your star clash, and I cannot decide which I like better. The collision blinds me, and I am left with a choice. Why choose? Why not have both? If only life were that easy, love. We would all live in castles made of tiger lilies and dance on wisps of thunderclouds, but alas life is cruel, and life is cold.


I choose….well. I like my stitches. I like my dark shadows, I like the engravings I place on my skin when I am alone with no one but the empty shower to echo my breathing, slow and shaky. But I like the careful way you pry each stitch up from the heart sewn to my sleeve, the starlight you give off with every breath you take, the kisses you cover me in when I attempt in vain to cover my scars, the ones that will never fade, though my skin will heal itself over.


The choice is made, dearest. With much sacrifice, with many questions still unanswered, with my breath hanging on a tiny thread I feel is destined to break….


I choose you.
old poem.
xmxrgxncy Aug 2016
Hold on to these swiftly wisping hands, the fading fingertips
Don't let them go.

Keep a grip on these crying eyes, this swimming mind
Don't let them sink.
Today feels like the start to a numb sort of day. Not a bad thing, I'll take it over a whirlwind of emotion any day.
198 · Oct 2016
hold
xmxrgxncy Oct 2016
Hold on,
little girl

that car handle can
double as an anchor

your sanity can't fly out
the w
           i
                n
                      d
                           o
                                   w

if we can close it first

hold on
hold tight

the window is latched

safe?

yes.

hold there,
with all your might


keep holding on
to the door handle

because one day
it will open
198 · Nov 2019
Tank
xmxrgxncy Nov 2019
If your glances were breaths,
My lungs would burst
I see you
196 · Sep 2015
Choose
xmxrgxncy Sep 2015
You state your purpose quite clearly, love, yet how do you propose to obtain it? I, unlike the countless girls you have loved, have spouted words for, will not fall that easily, will not let you read me. Yes, I may wear my heart on my sleeve, but it is sewn there with the tightest and most precise stitches. How will you deign to rip it from its’ rightful place?

You know, perhaps I like being alone sometimes, did you ever imagine that? The roar of the silence and the blinding quality of the shadows are my home, why have you come in to destroy them and replace them with something all your own?

Yet being the simple shadow of being alone and the ecstasy of being your star clash, and I cannot decide which I like better. The collision blinds me, and I am left with a choice. Why choose? Why not have both? If only life were that easy, love. We would all live in castles made of tiger lilies and dance on wisps of thunderclouds, but alas life is cruel, and life is cold.

I choose….well. I like my stitches. I like my dark shadows, I like the engravings I place on my skin when I am alone with no one but the empty shower to echo my breathing, slow and shaky. But I like the careful way you pry each stitch up from the heart sewn to my sleeve, the starlight you give off with every breath you take, the kisses you cover me in when I attempt in vain to cover my scars, the ones that will never fade, though my skin will heal itself over.

The choice is made, dearest. With much sacrifice, with many questions still unanswered, with my breath hanging on a tiny thread I feel is destined to break….

I choose you.
xmxrgxncy Jul 2020
if you visited my mind you'd find a lot of broken teacups,
glistening with the remnants of silver that pushed its way up my throat when i realized that i was alone again.
and if you wanted to look closer- watch your step, more shards- you might even find a glint of titanium somewhere. it started slowly, a taste for black without the need for sugar and cream, and grew.
it was so effortless once i let go of my wishes to continue to stay a purist, as my tastes grew from sharp and metallic to true and tough, because- a little to your left, careful- let's be honest, silver is beautiful but a facade.
and i can't help but wonder how things would have panned out if- let me move that for you, hold on- we had started out with black instead of sugary pretenses and swirling wishes to be bigger than we were.
because nothing is more tough than a black coffee. and when i lace mine with titanium, i realize that we could have been stronger.

what are you drinking now?
194 · Nov 2019
spire
xmxrgxncy Nov 2019
you burned me then were surprised when you choked on my smoke
194 · May 2016
Choices
xmxrgxncy May 2016
Funny, isn't it?
That I can choose between
Brunette or blond
Blue eyes or storm
Tall or fun sized
And he will still keep me warm
xmxrgxncy Jul 2020
and the wandering continues through abandoned boathouses where we hung up our words at night
soaked to the bone in emotion and despair yet clinging to the hope that tomorrow would bring smoother tides
how could we have known that silver only lasts for so long before it tarnished, and inspiration is nothing if not fleeting?
the wood of the docks is decaying now, along with dreams had in years past that got tangled up in our lines before we ceased trying to cast them anywhere anymore.
but I still watch the sunset every night and wonder what would’ve happened if we had gotten into our boats and never looked back.
194 · May 2016
Gee.....
xmxrgxncy May 2016
What if I told you that silver tongues speak the same language
A twisting of deceit
And turning of adrenaline

What if I told you that my silver tongue
Is lying in wait
To meet yours?
193 · Sep 2016
Left
xmxrgxncy Sep 2016
I am not throwing away my shot
*Although it seems with you, I never had one.
Well, at least I'm not confused anymore.
Lyrics from My Shot from Hamilton by Lin Manuel Miranda.
192 · Nov 2019
breathe
xmxrgxncy Nov 2019
after you pull the tubes from my throat
I hope you dredge up some inspiration
192 · Jun 2016
Ode
xmxrgxncy Jun 2016
Ode
An ode to not being alone
to having someone there
to tell your deepest darkest
thoughts that emanate from
the innermost abyss of your
soul sainted being.

They can reach their fingers
like filtering lights through
the crevices of what's left
of the scattered rubble that
used to live in my mind
and be able to understand
who I am and what I am.

Thanks to them, I'm not
alone, nor will I ever be
simply because I know
that as long as they have
eyes and as long as they
can read, I'll always
be heard, always
191 · Sep 2016
Welcome...?
xmxrgxncy Sep 2016
Hello, and welcome to my personal wormhole.
My depths of despair,
my heaven,
my escape,
my life.

Your terminology may vary.

But read yourself into the depths of your being when you see this:

My life. On a screen. On a page.

It may not be pretty, and it may be written like the homework of a kindergarten child in need of a penmanship lesson.

But here it is.

Enjoy my experiences, scream at the agony, laugh at the joy, all of it is here.

You once told me you could read me like a book.

Now is the time for you
to be checking
your answers.
BECAUSE HELLO AND *** I CAN'T BELIEVE I SENT YOU HERE>_<
190 · Jun 2016
Enough (Definition)
xmxrgxncy Jun 2016
I'm not saying I can make you happy.

But I can try.
188 · Sep 2016
i am my ceiling
xmxrgxncy Sep 2016
Sometimes, I stare at the ceiling
what's there can become a metaphor
in little over a metasecond

cracked paint,
peeling away and revealing the surface beneath

dry plaster,
crumbling in some spots where you can hardly tell

It's funny how when a poet needs to vent
they can find something-ANYTHING-
to write about.
188 · Nov 2019
pens
xmxrgxncy Nov 2019
I love the feeling of your words tracing my skin
so why don’t your hands feel the same
187 · Jul 2016
My Musical
xmxrgxncy Jul 2016
Just when I've figured out the beat that life is tapping out in front of me
The key changes
187 · Jul 2016
Inspiration
xmxrgxncy Jul 2016
You inspire my poems

You should be either flattered
or scared for your soul
186 · Apr 2016
Swing It
xmxrgxncy Apr 2016
This axe in my hand is too heavy for me to lift.
Would you help me
s
   w
        i
            n
                g
                        it in the direction
                       of the tree
                        with our initials
                       scarring its lonely skin?
185 · Sep 2015
The Stage
xmxrgxncy Sep 2015
When I tell you I don't in any way, shape, or form, deserve you, you just smile and kiss my words away till they're nothing but a faded memory in the back of your mind, where they'll soon be forgotten. But not for me. I'd always said you were my saviour, my vice, my distraction; but, perhaps, am I yours? Living the life of a hero, with its' pain, sorrow, and guilt- your doting on me, covering me with sweet words, is this your distracting? You say, then, love is a musical, and we are the actors. But you omit who else ventures onto the stage, beloved. Have you forgotten our old nemesis, Jealousy? She wears jade and loathing, and is the lead soprano. Cloaked in all her majesty, hypnotizing with the voice she sings, you remember her well, as do I. Yet lo, from stage left, enters a dear acquaintance- it is none other than Hope, dear old Hope, donning her tattered rags of lost dreams and wasted words. But all is lost when the orchestra plays, conducted by the one who rules over us all- Fear has come back, placing doubt into our minds, our hearts, our souls. We said once we were intertwined, yet how can we venture to regain that conscious feeling of royal sweetness? It is lost to the stage as the music plays louder and Hope falls to the floor in a scene of tragedy. There is no much more to say- Fear has overtaken me, love. How will our musical end?
185 · Jan 2016
Less is More?
xmxrgxncy Jan 2016
They say that less is more.....
but two pairs of lips
are better than
one.
184 · May 2016
Motivation
xmxrgxncy May 2016
Sometimes the dark
Is where you find
The brightest flashlight
184 · Nov 2015
Storms Off the Coast
xmxrgxncy Nov 2015
All I can hear is static
and yet I hear much more...

I hear a voice crying from over the toil and the screaming
of the gray madness that rolls and undulates at my feet.

The storm is coming.

As the wind tosses my hair, impervious to the time I have spent on it,
my very soul emanates from my body and wisps into the air above.

Spiraling around the lighthouse, the light flickering haphazardly,
peeking around the rusty old alarm bell,
it curiously explores
in a time more dangerous than any other it has ever known.

The storm is coming.

The fronds of nearby peasants bow to the gale, afraid,
and their hearts are torn apart by flying shine
that infiltrate even the most secure houses
and happy hearts.

His motorcycle lies on the shoulder of the abandoned beach road,
the left headlight still on,
but he is still
missing.

From the world, from his bike.
From me.

The storm is coming.

Standing upon this rocky throne admist the rain and the thunder,
I feel more alive
than every before.

------
The electricity hits.
-----

It courses through me like a wave of silk,
catching on my edges and riding me like a wave.
My heart lifts, my eyes upend to the skies...

He is here.
Shouts.
Running, slipping, dragging feet.

The storm is here.
#cjm
183 · Jul 2016
Imagination
xmxrgxncy Jul 2016
If I write about how much heartache and depression I'm facing
I'll never get noticed
anywhere

simply because in order to catch someone's eye
you have to write about what's
real

and apparently, all the hurt I experience on a daily basis
is simply a figment of my
imagination
182 · May 2016
Just
xmxrgxncy May 2016
Just the memory of you
Makes my eyes water
But is it with disgust
Or loss?
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