And the shadows danced on the walls that night
and the obscurities all ran free
and the solsticed pure gold ran through all their veins
and their hearts, full of unbounded glee

And the demons danced hard
and the angels sang loud
and the grave diggers crooned with the light of death
and the machines stood tall and proud

And the life glimmered short
and the death died threefold
and the love in her throat did choke her ideals
and stories unspoken were told

And the yews all did spy
and the night tables, play
and the lovers all screamed with force of the wind
and the scaly eyed pecans died that day

And alone in the corner sat
and with not a care in the world
and with the weight of my friends atop my broad shoulders
and i died as my stress did unfurl

And I bled unfiltered light
and I cried from the start
and I made sure my friends would never feel that feeling
and I let them destroy my heart.

All I want is a distraction
to slow the panic rising in my chest

why are all the poems I read
about love?

I can manipulate my vocal cords to sound sweet as a bird's chirping
or croon like Ella Fitzgerald
or hum like a buzzing machine

but hand me a notepad
defaced with the scrawl
of words....

and they'll break

All the words I want to poetize have already been spun

the silence is deafening

your heart is like stone

what else am i to say?

i feel so
unoriginal

Dear no one, this is your love song*

I may not be the prettiest
or the smartest
or the most eloquent
or the most accomplished

and that's all

I just want someone
to hold my hand
guard my heart
keep me safe
and tear me apart

Rip open my heartstrings
scathe my whole mind
be in my heart
and turn me blind

I want a love that makes me whole
but rips me open to
the venerability of a life
where caution is through

Everyone thinks they can name me.

Hannah.

Daughter, sister, student.

Niece, neighbor, friend.

But my name, my name, hasn't been foretold
and never will
because my name
is Nobody.

What's yours?

We all go by the surname no one

There are so many of us!

So why are we all so alone?

Let me steal the moonlight from your hair
and bottle it

Let me get caught in the crossfire of your thoughts
and stay there

Let me intrude upon your late night musings
and become one

Let me borrow a few strings that make up your heart
and fortify them

Oh, the things I'd lay down, sacrifice, put away for you
If only you
let me

ECHO
               e   c h   o


                                      e        c     h         o

I want to manipulate feelings, he says

I want to make them feel things, to make them cry, to make them die*, he says

He wants to make scenes in front of fire hydrants and dance to the sound of wild hoofbeats

He wants to make them cry, in awe of the beauty screened before them, the sunset awash in an inhuman glow

He wants to make them die inside as the heroine is killed, but dramatically makes her comeback all through the means of a tilted lens

He wants to make them feel things

And he, of all people, alone, has the power.

When God punishes you for no reason other than the fact that you simply weren't capable of moving yourself a couple hundred miles...

...why the hell does it take so long to develop.....

her eyes looked down at the broken glass
and the petals drooping between her toes
and knew what it was
to be alone

When rain hits my skin
that's already drenched in self loathing

I feel less like myself and more
like the girl I wish I was

loved and adored and simply covered
in warm wet kisses

maybe I just need to fall in love
with a real rainstorm

instead of the ones that fall
from the depths of my eyes

It wasn't your fault, so don't act like it was.
It isn't your problem, so don't act like it is.

And I'm not yours anymore...but don't automatically assume I hate you.

Why is it that spoken word holds more weight
than written word?

If I threatened to tear you limb from limb, you'd be more terrified than if I left that note at your door.

The words would ring in your ears until your mind fell apart...

I know you're here.

But have you faded far enough
that your ears and eyes can't
hear me?

Hi.

Her moonlit fingertips grace
the snowy wetness of the strawberry bush
as it waits silently for
a melancholy song
in the form of torn skin and blue blood
to grace its' leaves

Not a girl, just a ghost in the mirror
a sad little being who can't be seen clearer
wisping and watching she quietly waits
for life beyond the rippled glass, oh

Yesterday

I met someone who understood, who felt, who had the experiences I do
and knew

he knew

if only our conversation hadn't been cut short

because for a moment there

I actually felt like this cloud had become
a little less grey
and a little less heavy

I just wanna be a savior, just once.

I wanna help someone become who they are
because I can't. Can I do that for anyone? Do I hold that power in my words?

*When the sun goes down
I'll hold you through the night
Protect you from the monsters
That you keep inside
Cause you’re a nervous wreck
And nowhere feels like home
But if you give me a chance
I’ll never let you feel alone

One day I'll understand this feeling
I'm alone in a room of my family, but I'm not alone.

I have myself, don't I?
I'm always there for me, aren't I?

I ask myself this on a daily basis when my friends seem to care more about me than I do myself.

Once I'm gone, maybe things will change.

Sometimes I forget to have courage.

It takes lots of strength to forget.

But then I wonder how I ended up
with enough courage to
be who I am
and not scare off the one person
I want most.

That kind of courage, to me,
is pure beauty.

And I'm so glad that I
was able to have it
at least once.

How can I tell someone how to feel
When sometimes I wonder if I've forgotten
How to feel anything myself?

Enlighten me.

The learning is with the entwining of fingertips
Of two pairs of hands that desperately need
To learn a lesson about who they are and
What it is they have to contribute to the world.

That, I believe, is the one and only magic
Remedy that even then can still fail...

It just makes you wonder
If the hands you wish to be holding
Are really even there.

Take mine for example-
Maybe I'm not as outward about my
Condition as I should be, but
How do you know that I'm not
Fading faster than you are?

Just when I've figured out the beat that life is tapping out in front of me
The key changes

When the words in my head
Don't make any sense
But they rhyme

You ask me not to wait for you

I've been waiting my entire life.

Mama says I'm too direct, that I say things too quickly. But what does it matter?

Maybe my entire life, all of these nineteen years, wasted in the poppies beyond the tall, tall fence...

Maybe, just maybe, I've been waiting, and I didn't even know. Maybe I was waiting- am still waiting- for you.

In a world full of
                                                                ­                l
                                               ­                            y
                                                               ­       i
                                                        ­                 n
                                                               ­                g

                  I am growing increasingly fond of
                                                              ­                  b
                                             ­                              l
                                                               ­      u
                                                               ­ n
                                                           t
                                                      n
       ­                                           e
                    ­                         s
                                         s
                                      .

Just because these letters are the only way for me to express myself at the moment
doesn't mean that my
lips couldn't do
just as much
justice

The question is, what flame are you referring to...?

I wouldn't know, would I?

My words
weren't meant
to scathe?

Old ways, schmold ways....

You forget yourself, darling.

I know not of your ways, do you remember those five days? And then silence?

I don't know well enough to know old  as I should when it applies to you.

It's about her, isn't it?

The new one.

I don't know the specifics, no would I ever want to.....

I hope her lips tasted
sweeter than
my words
ever
did

I don't like being left in the dark

I'll always care, but I need to know

You don't know about the recent spirals, the pain, the inner torture

It'd do me grace to find someone still cared.

But...I'm not a guilt tripper either.

I don't drop things.

Not friends, names, or pasts.

Most importantly, memories.

Answer me.

Was it about me?

I often do that a lot.

Find words that mean what I wish she'd say.

But the real question lies thus;

who was that meant for?

Speak to me, someone.

Because God knows she won't

And even if she did

They wouldn't be the words

I want to hear

I can no more weave words
than an arthritic spider.

All I do is open my fingertips
and let loose the emotions too powerful
to let out of my mouth
in hopes that they aren't sullied by the printed letter.

How is this silver?

I do wish someone would tell me
what effect,
to what extent,
my words
can inspire
love

and oh, if only that love
were in the eyes
of the muse

To feel like something is lacking, a something
that keeps you in line, a something that helps
you to think, a blunt "no" from a blunt someone

You can fill the cracks in my mind
with as much compliment cement
as you wish

But there's only one type of glue
that can fix me
and it comes from you

You are

wanted.

To turn up your headphones as loud as they can go
only to realize that your eyes are still open

You inspire my poems

You should be either flattered
or scared for your soul

If I pressed you against a wall
and stole the words
from inside your lips

would you hate me
eternally

Pulling you in
can't be any harder

what is it I can do
to mend the stitches
that are deteriorating within your heart

that beautiful heart, the only one
I will ever want
At least, I think so

I'm not kidding myself
I've wanted you forever, it seems

Will you open up to me?
I'm not going to play games

I'm not going to coyly text back half an hour after you contact me
I won't participate in bashing exes
And I won't wreak revenge on anyone who has ever hurt you

We are starting clean
and with that, there's hope

for you, that your heart can be mended and loved the way it truly deserves- would that I can do it justice

and for me.

That I can finally, for once, get what I want

*I'll come around
If you ever want to be in love
I'm not waiting
But I'm willing if you call me up

The notes on their hearts can't start to depart
cause their brains can't even start to detain
what is part of their name;
it's their fame, their shame, the life that they live
and the pain that they use to assure that they gain

You love and you live and you push and you win
but you push all your sin to limit and when you're
deep in it you can't pin with win to hold down your sin

so eat what you gain and forget all your fame
the fame of the game that you started through pain
cause your name can't contain all the hearts you disdain
and you can't keep on winning the way you keep sinning

so push on your heart
**** all the art
shatter the legacies break all the tendencies
cut all the ways that would force you to stay like the one who
cried every night cause he lost the one fight where the girl got away

push on your heart
**** all the art

open the pockets and rivet the sockets that pulse all the life
that pounds into your strife
when you're dying you're done
when we're lying we're one
so pull on the trigger cause tonight we've got none

nothing to share and there's nothing to hold
so gimme the lines and the words tell me I'm bold

push on your heart
**** all the art

let everything inside of you just die
cause the life that once lived is no longer alive
and though you may try you just can't satisfy
the heart that you want to be inside her eyes

Don't bother playing with me
Don't you want to show up to church
In one piece?

Apparently, my phone has a problem with my listening to Hamilton...