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xmxrgxncy May 2017
Do not detain my whimsy, do not deny my thoughts their flying rampages on the wings of dandelion fluff long past its' prime.
Do the roiling waters stop for rocks in their path?
No. They brush over them.
Yet my feelings grow rockier and rockier yet and brushing over them has proven hard....and futile.
xmxrgxncy May 2017
You have to realize that your convictions and desires to work toward being a better person and not regretting your past mistakes apply to others. Trying to move past problems you've created with others within your history but putting others down for trying to move past theirs doesn't make any sense.....what do you really believe in?
just a vent.
xmxrgxncy May 2017
The words that dropped from my lips were laced with glamour. An unseen mist but breathed in by my beloved was all that I could emanate with what few syllables I could utter. What joy is there in isolation?

Their words were the briefest perfume I ever chanced to smell; brief, but honest. You can never hide your inner breadths and the breaths that keep you held together like a foggy glue.

Blue raspberry and then fifteens and suddenly my whole being is enamored of a scent that is not my own, swirling wisps of a greater, higher being. Alone, yet conformed to a blue caterpillar's wanting to leave his wall-less house yet too afraid to step one toe into greener grasses.

What beauty is there in smoke that infiltrates the mind and bares the soul? Reader, I'll tell you. It is the minimum of affections we are bound as beings to release, the inner crevices of the mind breaking free into a form more beautiful yet formless, more intricate yet dispersed than the mind itself. How is one to define this glory?

Inhaling these words as they are increases my inevitable downfall, and I can more clearly visualize my ideals crashing on the shore of my rising chest like bombs on a beach. Yet words, words, flavored words.....everyone believes them.
xmxrgxncy May 2017
You're not displaying sentiments of sadness and deepened emotion simply because you wish that I, through hearing them, may feel a sense of calm and clarity over what has been done.
No.
You're speaking this ******* so that you feel less guilty, that you lessen the pain on yourself, knowing that you've said I'm sorry to the person who calls themself victim.
You ease your conscience whichever way you see fit.
And I'll ease mine.
  May 2017 xmxrgxncy
Ian Moonsy
Ashes to ashes,
dust to dust
All these bones that carried
Once gold now only rust.

Why pick up
a dented thing
when it is no more use
for you?

Why pick up
a broken being
when it sees no safe place
or the difference between false and true?

Throw it away,
it's nothing good.
Go on your way,
as you should.

There are thorns here more than roses,
neither a bud or bloom to be seen.
You, traveler, should best be on your guard
Go back to the road where first you have been.

Blood boils not
to a heart that no longer beats;
that no longer sputters life
that was never in the place for keeps.

Keep away, good man;
your sweat is aimed for greater things,
your time for the one who beautifully sings;
your heart for the better and light winged.

Cuts and edges are all I have,
dark eyes and silent lips to give you no grace.
It is a colorful heart you seek - yet mine is shattered,
burnt and black;
I believe I am the wrong one to replace.

To feel you softly,
wholesomely,
that seems to be a dream
made not for my tattered self.

I am too afraid
of breaking you
or being too selfish of the thought
of having you
or taking for granted your life
when I say I do love you -

When you could have been:
better off,
or good without,
maybe even better -
someone else's.
Heavy thoughts - but it's what I am thinking about. But .... what if, what if, what if? I'm sorry I couldn't trust myself any longer. I feel like I'm the mistake here.  I always do. I can't help it. I could drown by everything I think about, especially this. You're just too good to be true.
But what if you've chosen wrong, after all this time?
xmxrgxncy May 2017
To define the ever changing facets of love is to pin a crashing wave upon a rock. In the same way, to tie you down by your wildly streaming mane to a gold ring; how on earth would you survive?

Your soul’s sustenance is the freedom which comes at the cost of only the deepest and most committed type of love which rarely chooses to show its face to the world. Your racer’s tan marks all you do, your love for being out in the open permeates the very fabric of your being, stains it with an irreplaceable scent of the grass blades rustling in an open field, uninhibited by the struggles and chains of this modern world.

But then where am I?
feeling kinda left behind. by everyone.
xmxrgxncy Apr 2017
I am scared of commitment,
but I have committed to being scared.
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