I don't think I truly ever knew love fully until I realized my terror at your heartbeat faltering for only half a second during an hour long embrace.

Please, be safe.

Please, know I love you.

Please, know I didn't mean to miss you.

Please, know I can't wait to see you more than anything.

And please. Know I'm scared.

What right have you
to tell her she's not beautiful
to press her till she can't breathe
to make her believe she's nothing?

What right have you
to push her around
to deflate her self esteem
to carve her heart out?

What right?

None.

So *******.

White fences, blue skies,
and laughs.

So many laughs.

Popcorn, angels,
and Korean.

So much Korean.

They say living in the past can destroy you, that dwelling on what you've lost can shred your very being.

But what if it's a good past?

We learn from history so that it doesn't repeat itself.
But we also learn how to relive the good moments.

There is no poison anymore.
Past thoughts, past dreams, past hopes,
key word; past.
It has drained into everyone- you have seen this- and it has destroyed more than is healthy. None is healthy. Unfortunately, that is not the case, not even close.
But now the toil is over.

You can only push so much out, can only drown so much.
You're tired, I can feel it.
You're weary, I can see it.
Memories strain against the metal bars guarding your heart and your head

Opening broken boxes of leering letters can **** the heart. I know.
Unearthing memories you'd tried to shatter can **** you.

But better than blocking comes redemption,
albeit harder and a longer process.

But being a whole puzzle means fitting the pieces together,
not throwing away those you wish you hadn't touched.

There are those who wish to build you up, those who wish to beam you into the high place you used to inhabit.

And you know what?

They all miss you.