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Oct 2014 · 5.1k
The Burning Within
Xan Abyss Oct 2014
She is like a fire in my soul, I crave her
Flesh against flesh, only she livens me
A slave to my lust, entranced by her beauty
I have a need to see her in pain
And in my mind, these visions I have of her
Kneeling before me, expectantly waiting
With bruises and bites, the marks of my love
Unsatisified, my longing increases

An ordinary name turns to a divine symphony
When uttered, but only with her in mind
This goddess I must make my slave
Though she'll be forever the one in control

Waking dreams of sordid acts
Fill my mind each night and day
I close my eyes and watch her body writhe
With agony and ecstasy
I pull her closer into me
And feel a pleasure so intense I wonder if I've died

She begs me to call her a *****
My hands around her neck
As I feel each breath travel in and out
And study the curve of her back

Consumed and enthralled, she whispers my name
My name is the sound of victory
Dark queen of desire, let us bathe in this fire
Of passion burning blissfully

In this, our inferno of celestial sin
Where unbridled lust meets uncovered skin
Her deafening rapture that shakes her throughout
Is all that can quell my burning within
This was one of my first 'lust odes' ever written, and it was written for/about a 'lesbian.'
Oct 2014 · 433
Adorned With The Night
Xan Abyss Oct 2014
Love can be
A many wretched thing
Can poison wizened minds in ways
A madman couldn't dream
Love can be
A toxin in the blood
That fills the veins with sorcery
Of Lucifer's design

To love is to feel pain
To love is to know hate
To love is to burn away
In unforgiving flames
To love, to love
To love is to be insane

But still it remains, I remember the sight
Of a lost love adorned with the night

Together we lay
Beneath a diamond studded canopy
Of shining stars in the black beyond
Together as one
Souls interlocked, bodies entwined
She and I, alone in the night
The night, the night
She and I alone in the night

To love is to feel pain
To love is to know hate
To love is to burn away
In unforgiving flames
To love, to love
To love is to be insane

And yet it remains, I still remember the sight
Of her beauty adorned with the night

I can't forget
Her face caressed by the moon
The power in each sigh, the sky
And how the stars did bathe in her eyes
I don't regret
The tender warmth of her embrace
The way my name would shape her face
Her touch, her taste
When she was mine in the groves of grace

So let it remain, I still remember the sight
Of her beauty adorned with the night
And though there was pain, on this deadwinter night
I remember the warmth and the light

Of the woman I loved
In the autumn moonlight
And of her pale beauty
Adorned with the night
Of the woman I loved
I still remember the sight
Of her beauty adorned with the night.
I wrote a lot of less-than-happy songs about this particular ex. This one is my favorite though, probably because I'd rather remember the good stuff than the bad.
Oct 2014 · 425
Where I Have No Shadow
Xan Abyss Oct 2014
The fires of memory
Burning brightly in my mind, I must
Remember the agony I endured
Desires still rage in me
Pangs of anger mixed with lust
I won't forget the way it hurt

To be alone
Truly alone
With no one to talk to, cause nobody loves you
Sitting at home
Rotting away
Broken & pining for the day you will die all alone

Alone... In the dark
Shadows surrounding
Deep in my own black abyss
Will I wait
Where I have no shadow,
And am truly alone with my hate.

My inner demons miss me
Since I abandoned them for you
The poison deep within me is long overdue
To venomize my love with scorn
A hypnotizing spell
And leave me but an empty shell
Desolate and worn

The thorns of darkness tear my flesh
As I briefly feel the ghost's caress
Of what seems like an old nightmare
I used to have back then
And though my smile retains its warmth
I confess to harboring a storm
Just beneath the surface of my calm exterior

But I remember when
I contemplated death
As a viable prospect
For my future
And never again
Will I fall so far
To consider the ending
A suture.
I was feeling lots of feelings around the time I wrote this. That's what I DO remember about it.
Oct 2014 · 552
The Perfect Stranger
Xan Abyss Oct 2014
It was late on a cold November night that I remember first laying eyes on her. She was sitting in a bar not far from the train station where, upon rare occasion the train would stop as a stranger got off. It was a very rare occurrence, made even rarer with time, that I would see someone worth my attention or time. On the evening preceding this dark November night, I distinctly recall first seeing the sight of this glorious girl, teeth white as pearls, reflecting the light from her gorgeous blonde curls. She was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen, she moved from the train to the ground like a dream, her eyes ignited fires of emerald green, her honey sweet complexion seemed to glow in the flow of the late autumn fog. I saw her in the bar and I flocked to her side. She smiled at me wildly, prepared to take a chance. She had come seeking adventure and a throwaway romance.
I resisted telling her all the thoughts that filled my burning mind. I couldn't bear the thought of her leaving me behind, so I played the strong and silent type, and she kept me by her side. I savored any opportunity to make this angel mine.
She asked me if I knew a place, someplace far away. Some place unpolluted by societal decay. Somewhere we could be alone with no more interruptions. Somewhere our sacred time might continue uncorrupted.
The trees, how lightly they hung in the breeze! It made a perfect canopy for her and for me. We lay on a cliff top that overlooked the sea, just my divine Aphrodite, and me.
She grabbed me with her hands, ice cold, and kissed me madly as my heart took control. My mind engulfed in passionate flames, my self-control melted away. I took her beneath the stars and the moon, and the winds of the sea sang along to our tune. Alone in the air left painted dark blue, we became one in the grace of the gloom. I caressed her face as her body did writhe, euphoric we were in blessed moments of life. We howled like wolves in the roar of the night, bathed in ocean scented moonlight. Our spirits united in a flash of white lightning as the earth seemed to shatter right up into the sky. There was a silence that swept over our time, locking our minds inside each other's eyes. Her lashes batted brightly as her face became a smile. And for a single sweet moment she was perfectly mine.
I unsheathed my knife. Her eyes opened wide as I stabbed her nine times. I watched her die. The perfect stranger.
She'll forever stay mine.
An experiment in stylistic fusion - part prose, part love song, part horror.
Xan Abyss Oct 2014
Her name means the earth
Her eyes are like the sea
Oceanic windows to majestic mysteries
Her skin glows like the moon
Around her smile of ivory
And I stand in the presence of heaven
When she is here before me
Her perfume is a garden of celestial aromas
Her voice is an echo of the comforts of a home
And my heart skips a beat when I hear her say my name because
The beauty that she glows with outshines all I've ever known
She's a goddess in a world of demons
Feet planted in the ground
Head floating in the clouds
Her love is a euphoric feeling
Intoxication
With no comedown
Her body is a grave, an eternal resting place
Inviting, soft and warm - so nice
You'll never want to leave
And I am but a slave to her affection and her grace
Alone at last in her embrace
I forever wish to stay
And at the end of all this time
I'm lost in her oceanic eyes
She is my afterlife,
My world divine
And tonight the world is mine.
I wrote this about someone I no longer speak to. But hey, it's pretty.
Oct 2014 · 314
A Promise I Can Keep
Xan Abyss Oct 2014
I just wanna say
You look beautiful today
But I hope that was something
That you knew anyway
I'd just like to see you smile at me
Right now I'd let you lie to me
Because today I'm weak
As you can see
Broken down, worn out, depressed and losing sleep
I don't know what to do
Because my friends all left with you
So I'm back to being alone
With nobody to talk to.
I never meant you harm
Or wished you any sorrow
A heart as pure as yours
Is something I'm unfit to borrow
And I really should have known
That you were more than I deserve
But I was blinded by your radiance
And did my best to make us work.
I want to say 'I love you'
And want to hear it back
But I'm old enough to know better
Than to just relapse like that
And I wish that I could hold you
I'd say 'for one last time'
But I know myself too well by now
And I can't stand goodbyes.
I will ALWAYS love you
And that's a promise I can keep
But you are an Angel
And I am a Monster
And NEVER the twain should meet.
I wrote this about my ex while she sat behind me in class. It's been almost a year and she still doesn't know about it.
Oct 2014 · 564
Under the Crimson Waters
Xan Abyss Oct 2014
Warlord, Captain, ruthless man
With a lust for blood and death
Many died as they looked in his eyes
And drew their final breath
The sea was his and his alone
Ferocious as a storm
He sent so many men below
Nowhere was safe from harm

O, the cursed crimson captain
He ruled the mighty seas
The cursed crimson captain
Brought kingdoms to their knees
The cursed crimson captain
He sailed on winds of dread
Many enemies fought, many enemies fled
For the rest would end up dead!

One night, shining swords were drawn
And clashed in the light of the moon
Deadly was the battle fought
T’was there he met his doom
For he fought with The King’s Commander
The battle proved most fierce
And blood spilled over the Pirate’s hand -
The Commander’s breast was pierced
And as the dead man fell to the deck
The Pirate heard a crack
And he himself was forced to his knees
By the musketball in his back

O, the cursed crimson captain
He ruled the mighty seas
The cursed crimson captain
Brought kingdoms to their knees
The cursed crimson captain
Was slain, yet did not know
Which daft and dastardly ******* cast the stone to claim his throne!

Awoke he did to a room of black
A cell of darkness, windows barred
Enraged he became at the craven attack
That nearly pierced his wicked heart
Lust for vengeance filled his soul
As he stared out of the barred window
Only to see, horrified
His ******, violent, crooked life
His ship was stained with the deepest red
As he sailed on through a sea of dead
And he could hear no other sound
Than the weeping wives of husbands drowned
And as he wept he began to bleed
From his back and from his chest
He grew weary, needed sleep
And turned to see a golden bed

O, the cursed crimson captain
Saw clear his legacy
The cursed crimson captain
Collapsed onto his knees

A bed of gold with silken sheets
It beckoned him without a word
The scenes of death began to fade
And the weeping was no longer heard
As he lay upon the bed
It began to change its shape
And grabbed his arms and legs and head
Until there could be no escape

O, the cursed crimson captain
He ruled the mighty seas
The cursed crimson captain
Brought kingdoms to their knees
The cursed crimson captain
Was a fool to sail indeed
For ****** fame in bloodier ways
And leave naught but a life of evil deeds

The room began to flood
Until it was washed away
To reveal a sea of blue
Reflecting golden rays
And his bed was now a casket
A casket made of gold
And was cast into the water
So deep and dark and cold
And as he closed his eyes
Under the crimson waters
All he could do was pray
That he would be Forgotten.
I wrote this a long time ago, better part of a decade now. Still one of my favorite pieces.
Oct 2014 · 445
"Salvation!"
Xan Abyss Oct 2014
I gave you the benefit of the doubt
And you corrected me
Clean and disease-free freak
Who still infected me
I extended my heart with both arms
And you rejected me
And now you try to justify
Why you neglected me.
But whatever, right?
Go live your life.
Be YOUR favorite girl, not mine.
Yes I care, I may even cry-
But all my wounds are healed with time.
Stealing hearts is not a crime,
****, why does everything have to rhyme?
There's no rhyme, no reason to this feeling of internal treason
Nothing to say, nothing to do, you're not mine and I don't belong to you
But this feeling of betrayal, I ******* hate it
I wish I could shake it
Or even just take it
Like all the other *******.
But you, you were special
I don't know why you stand out
You were so ******* special
Like a preacher with his hands out
Reaching for the heavens,
Calling out 'Salvation'
Roping me in with your relentless charisma.
I really hate it, can barely take it
The way you made yourself so addictive
So now at the prospect of your eternal absence
My veins itch with fire from the inside out
The creature I slowly become in your shadow
Will leave us with nothing,
Our ambitions devoured.
I'm gonna be honest, I totally forgot about writing this.
Oct 2014 · 2.2k
Thanks for Giving Up
Xan Abyss Oct 2014
Times are tough and tensions fierce
Nothing's rare as love
Our world is on the cusp of change
So thanks for giving up
Oh, you freshman Wiseman
Oh, sophomore sage
Thank you for sharing the wisdom
You've gained in your old age
"Our generation has failed"
You say, observer that you are
"We have nothing to take pride in
Like the generations before"
Oh, you teenage prophet
Your knowledge knows no bounds
Our generation is hopeless
Or at least that's how it sounds
In 14 years of living
It seems you have assessed
Your generation's future
And with great success
At 14 you knew equality was a pipe dream of the past
Hatred and bigotry are the only things that last
You're already too jaded for beauty or romance
Your generation failed before it even had a chance
So thanks for giving up before you can even drive a car
For quitting before you're old enough to vote or go to war
Throwing in the towel before you're allowed to drink at the bar
Waving the white flag before the battle even starts
I had dreams in my generation
We had ideas for my generation
We did things, in my generation
For things we believed would help my generation
But my generation is still very young
The battle's barely started but that means it can be won
So I can only imagine how yours must feel
If you've already given up
So thanks for the surrender, really
I'm sure it's all that could be done
Giving up must have been so much harder than
Finding something to believe in.
Some kid posted some self-important poem about how 'TOTES ******* THIS GENERATION IS, DAWG!!!' and I felt like writing a reply.
Oct 2014 · 525
Windsong
Xan Abyss Oct 2014
On quiet nights like these when the windsong in the trees
Echoes through the city streets
With the scratching of dead leaves
There's a stillness in the air and though I don't know why
I recognize this stillness as a thing that I despise

For it doesn't do a thing to hide
The agony I feel inside
The fire within burning bright
Such is the cost of life

On silent nights like these when the talons of the breeze
Dig into your flesh and pull you back into disease
There's an atmosphere of peace
Around me that I can't escape
And the ugly truth is that this peace is something that I hate

For it doesn't do a thing to hide
The agony I feel inside
The fire within burning bright
Such is the curse of life

If all life came without sorrow or pain
We'd have nothing to lose and nothing to gain
If all life came without sorrow or pain
We'd have remained in the exact same place

Our pain is how we gain
Sorrows are how we grow
This curse is how we learned
Everything we know

And it will only amplify
The agony we feel inside
The fire within burning bright
Such is the cause of life
Lyrics  wrote last Autumn. They're still relevant this Autumn.
Oct 2014 · 412
Heavy Heart
Xan Abyss Oct 2014
My heart is weighted down
With the sorrows of a lifetime
And it's resting in your slender fingers
If it were to fall
And shatter into pieces
I wouldn't even linger with the cinders
And yet, here I am
My heavy heart in your tiny hands
Hoping this time it can last
The raging storm and stay intact
I want to slaughter all the shadows of your past
And desecrate the demons who still haunt you
I want to ****** every man across your path
And brutalize anyone who wants you
I am not okay
And I may never be
But all that seems to go away whenever you're with me
And still, here I am
My wretched heart in your lovely hands
Hoping this time it will last the raging storm
And stay intact
I am not okay
And I may never be
But all that seems to go away
Whenever you're with me
I am not a shining knight
Upon a noble steed
But I am someone who loves you
With every fiber of my being
So yes, here I am
And I hope you understand
My heart is in your hands
And that heart is all I am.
Something I wrote long ago for a girl who held my heart on her own.
Oct 2014 · 11.9k
Moon of the Black Goddess
Xan Abyss Oct 2014
Tonight I will fall down upon my knees
To pray before the goddess of enchanted ebony
Her divine rays of dark beauty I embrace
Bathing blissfully in her enigmatic grace

I enter the sanctum
Her sacred place of healing
Ecstasy consumes me
Enraptured by the feeling

When the Moon of the Black Goddess
Shines Her light upon me
Then the Love of the Black Goddess
Drowns the world around me

Tonight I worship at the Temple of Her Light
I sacrifice my flesh to the goddess shining bright
The fire in my soul erupts and sets aflame my mind
On holy nights like these when the cosmos re-aligns

I enter the sanctum
Her sacred place of healing
Ecstasy consumes me
Enraptured by the feeling

When the Moon of the Black Goddess
Shines Her light upon me
Then the Lust of the Black Goddess
Burns the world around me

I submit myself to Her, naked and unguarded
Prepared to be consumed and then possibly discarded
For in her presence, all the evil in our pale existence
Vanishes from memory in a single instant

I enter the sanctum
Her sacred place of healing
Ecstasy consumes me
Enraptured by the feeling

When the Moon of the Black Goddess
Shines Her light upon me
Then the Mists of the Black Goddess
Shroud the world around me

The Moon of the Black Goddess
Cast thy spell upon me
The Moon of the Black Goddess
Looming right above me
The Moon of the Black Goddess
I give my flesh to worship thee!
For the Moon of the Black Goddess
Is the only place
I can find peace!

When the Moon of the Black Goddess
Shines Her light into me
Then the Tune of the Black Goddess
Becomes the song to set me free!
Wrote this for a lover.
Oct 2014 · 632
Gnarcissus
Xan Abyss Oct 2014
He sits at the edge of the riverbed,
Hating himself.
He stares at his reflection,
Runs claws through his matted hair,
Bares his yellow teeth,
Glares at the creature he sees.
He cannot stand the sight
Of what once was just a man,
Rather vain,
And egocentric,
But not this monster before him.
His love was too wild,
His heart too free,
His mind dulled from lack of use,
Due to lack of Necessity.
And the Goddess,
She saw him,
Standing all alone,
Grinning ear to ear,
Laughing at something unkown.
And she wanted him,
Needed him,
All to herself;
Desire burned inside her
like all the fires of hell.
And gorgeous she was,
As all Goddesses are.
Her beauty shined brighter
than a thousand burning stars.
She did have him,
All to herself that night.
He filled her body and soul with light.
The passion erupted in a clash of destructive romance as their lust did ignite
at their touch.
And the Goddess fell in love,
With a mortal?
This was unheard of!
But the fool who had driven her mad,
Did not understand what he had.
The power and glorious might she possessed,
Her beauty unrivaled - which left men obsessed,
Her magic, her grace, her celestial face,
But greater than all, her divine jealous rage.
And Fool that he was,
Our old clown, Gnarcissus,
Squandered the love of his goddess above.
He was given a gift
No mortals had known,
His mind was a cloud
and his heart was a stone.
And his sins of the flesh
with a mortal like he,
Left him ****** for eternity.
For the Goddess,
Who loved and burned for him,
Watched him kiss her
on the skin
Beneath her chin,
Upon her chest,
Between her legs,
And all the rest.
Never once before had she
Endured the pangs of jealousy!
"How the Living Hell could he,
Betray me so easily?
A curse I'll place
upon his face,
His simple mind
I shall erase!
And as he falls
Out of my grace
I'll watch his pain
And *******."

And to this day,
He sits and hates
himself
Alone,
Left to his fate.
And to this day,
She won the game
of love, lust, loss and flames.
Though she may have lost a mate,
Now she's always entertained.
I guess you could call it a written self portrait?
Oct 2014 · 1.2k
An Apprentice of Death
Xan Abyss Oct 2014
I wish to learn the secrets, so eternal
of spiritual transformation
To know the ways of the Ferryman
To usher souls through and beyond
I long to master the art
of cosmic transference
To carry the departed
to their resting place
And to be their guardian

It is not an act of hate,
Sick lust or twisted love
it is not the fault of rage
Nor is it for fun.
I do it in the name of
inhuman artistry
My life i've dedicated
To the Reaper's harvesting.

This world is such an ugly place
I'm your savior in a way
I cut you loose and set you free
I grant your spirit liberty...

Evil exists in all colors and codes
there's every kind of shape and size
A world ablaze, drowning in torture and ****
We could use a few more minds
like mine.

I am not a killer.
I am an apprentice of death.
I will guide your spirit home
on the wings of your last breath.
Tate Langdon in AHS season 1 was my muse for this.
Sep 2014 · 10.5k
Ballerina
Xan Abyss Sep 2014
There's a skinny European ballerina dancing for me in my room
And I don't know what to do
Her eyes a piercing blue
There's a pretty European ballerina dancing for me all alone
There's a feeling in my bones
A burning kept in stone
There's a single European ballerina dancing for no one but me
The only thing I see is
Her radiant beauty
There's a lovely European ballerina staring me in the face
My demons held at bay
Transfixed by her grace

Burning brightly as I
stare at the dancer divine
My eyes are full of fire,
aglow in the darkness of night
In the light
She catches my gaze in her sights
My pretty European ballerina
Waits for me to cross the line
The ****** tension poem.
Xan Abyss Sep 2014
I'm Archie Andrews with satanic tattoos
The Lucifer beneath your cute suburb
I'm the devil who hides inside the back of your mind
And you hate me but you love the way I hurt,
Don't you baby?

My venom is still in your veins
Withdrawal is driving you insane
There's only one cure for the pain
And you'll never be getting that again

I am your EVIL
EX
BOYFRIEND
And though I tried to make amends
Your bitterness will never end
So I guess this is
Good Riddance

I know you miss me but you're still with him now
You hate me - but you keep on calling me, somehow...
When you get drunk, it's all "I need you, baby!"
But once you sober up I know **** well you'll ******* hate me
All over again....

My venom is still in your veins
Withdrawal is driving you insane
There's only one cure for the pain
And you're never getting that again!

I am your EVIL
EX
BOYFRIEND
And though I tried to make amends
Your bitterness will never end
So farewell
and Good Riddance

I'm the EVIL EX BOYFRIEND
All over again....
Sep 2014 · 2.2k
Gods&Monsters
Xan Abyss Sep 2014
In a world full of gods and monsters
Where do you stand?
In a world full of gods and monsters
Where does your loyalty land?

Are you an angel? Spreading forgiveness
Across the wretched globe
Are you a demon? Spreading deception
Poisoning our hopes

In a world full of gods and monsters
Where do you stand?
In a world full of gods and monsters
What do you demand?

Will you rise to face the tyrant, and fall in the name of justice?
Or will you bow before the might of the unstoppable forces?
Death will come for all of us, but those who fought the fight
Will be remembered always, gods and monsters of the time

In a world full of gods and monsters
Where do you fall?
In a world full of gods and monsters
Do you fight at all?
In a world full of gods and monsters
Who claims your soul?
In a world full of gods and monsters
Are you divine or infernal?

Will you align yourself with the light and crush the shadows as they rise?
Or unite with the darkness of night  to bring about a new sunrise?
Do you stay with these ancient ways of the gods above the earth? Or will these creatures kept in hiding finally emerge?

In a world full of Gods and Monsters
Where do you stand?
It's a world full of Gods and Monsters
Do you understand?
Aug 2014 · 4.4k
Cold Sex
Xan Abyss Aug 2014
All I want to do to you
Is make you feel alive
All I want to give you is a reason to survive
All you seem to ask of me is derision
Hate and scorn
I don't want you to hate yourself just to be my little *****

You're giving me dead love
You're giving me cold ***
Romantic as a cadaver covered in dirt and sweat
You give me dead love
You give me cold ***
Beautiful as a suicide victim giving in to death

All I try to fill you with is passion, burning bright
And yet your eyes stay darker than a silent, moonless night
All you seem to need of me is abuse
And carnal war
I can't stand to hurt you
But I need a little more
Aug 2014 · 1.1k
portrait of a facebook poet.
Xan Abyss Aug 2014
my eyes are little television screens
projecting into my brain
still life images that capture my home
in all its unwavering solitude
the music curls around me
i feel the devil's blood in my veins
as a satanic elvis serenades me
with old refrains i can relate to
i lament my present foray
into social media poetry
but i'm much too intoxicated
for an emotional reponse
i choke down this rip of mad man OG
a sip of coffee mixed with E&J;
and wonder if hank bukowski
would have been a hit on facebook
had he emerged today.
it began as a crossfaded facebook status, and became a crossfaded hellopoetry post.
Jul 2014 · 10.7k
Confidential Bride
Xan Abyss Jul 2014
You feel my eyes burning into your soul
You feel my body heat out in the cold
You feel my breath down the back of your neck
You feel my presence at the foot of your bed...
You hear me creep across your house at night
You hear me move when you turn out the lights
You hear my heartbeat, baby, while you sleep
You hear my laughter echo in your dreams...
Hello, baby.
I've been waiting.
To give you the love that you've been craving.
Sweet Valentine,
In bed, enshrined.
It's my time of night,
You're mine.
You see my shadow glide across your ceiling,
I see your hair stand up from how you're feeling.
You've seen my figure moving through your home.
I've seen how you are when you think you're alone...
Hello, baby.
I've been waiting.
To give you the love that you've been craving.
My precious *****,
Alone once more.
It's that time of night,
I'm yours.
Separate your knees, please,
And let me slip inside.
This is not a dream, my sweet.
Your eyes are open wide.
Get down on your knees for me,
My confidential bride.
This is not a dream, my queen,
Now open wide.
A seductive stalker love song in the making.
Jul 2014 · 1.7k
Fuck Nihilism
Xan Abyss Jul 2014
**** humans.
**** animals.
**** political parties.
**** anarchism.
**** art.
**** science.
**** religion, faith and spirituality.
**** music.
**** noise.
**** sports.
**** nerdy ****.
**** drugs, **** and alcohol.
**** sobriety.
**** vegetarianism&veganism.;
**** the meat industry and hunters.
**** feminism.
**** patriarchy.
**** the War.
**** pacifism.
**** your body type.
**** junk food.
**** fitness.
**** nationalism.
******* if you hate your homeland.
**** your belief.
**** your non-belief.
**** your pseudo-belief.
**** your job and **** everyone without a job.
All of us are wrong and do not deserve to live.
But then why does it matter?
It doesn't.
Nothing does.
I, we, all of us and everything spinning away in this perpetually expanding universe,
100% is equally worthless in the scheme of existence.
The infinite gaping void of time will swallow it all and destroy it inevitably.
That is entropy.
Everything will eventually cease to be.
Our jobs, families, lives, and our entire history not just as a species, but as an entire solar system, will eventually mean zilch forever.
Nothing matters, it never really has and it is never really going to.
But we're all here, aren't we?
Regardless.
So what are we gonna do?
Nothing?
Why?
Because it's the only thing that matters? Nothing?
Why does it have to matter?
If everything is equally worthless and insignifcant in the grand, cosmically entropic scheme of this progressively more and more infinite universe,
Then who the **** cares what we care about?
If nothing matters, why does it matter?
It doesn't.
Nothing does.
So are we going to sit around and waste away because we know nothing will last forever?
Deny ourselves of the (albeit completely worthless and unimportant) experiences that this universe has to offer?
**** ***?
**** love?
**** music?
**** art?
**** cinema?
**** great food, cooked who by people who love to cook great food?
**** writing, and poetry?
**** sports, the thrill of the game, the roar of the crowd when the underdog scores a goal for their country?
**** culture?
**** trying new things and going new places?
**** creating new life? Raising a family?
Seeing your children graduate?
Who cares that it makes you happy, right?
That you exist in a realm where you are able to feel joy?
Or euphoria?
Or ecstasy?
How about,
**** that negative *******?
The universe is the most incredible thing in existence -
Because it IS existence.
There is nothing worse, and nothing greater, there is only what is.
And what is, is beautiful,
and Terrifying,
and Magical,
and completely,
100%
REAL.
Reality is infinitely fascinating, wonderful, divine, tangible, wicked, dangerous, and intoxicating.
And human beings are all too lost with their heads to the ground
Or the sky,
Peering into cracks and shadows,
Chasing dragons and vices and dreams,
Searching for perhaps the only thing in existence,
Which truly does not exist:
Meaning,
to see it.
Being crushed and destroyed and surrendering their hope, and faith and love in the universe once they do not find it.
Humanity, and perhaps all intelligent life,
(though we may never find out)
Is distracted by the questions,
"Why am I here?"
"What is the meaning of life?"
And thus hindered from ever finding it
in their own
Meaningless
way.
Oct 2013 · 730
Erasion
Xan Abyss Oct 2013
Show me the inside of your heart only to change your mind and hide it
Carve a larger wound just to remove the one inside it
And bleed out, bleed out
Until the blackest venom shall once again igniteth...

As the deep red blood clashes with the flames of this world and the sorrow rips through my weary soul
As the agony fires engulf me whole
I begin to disconnect
I begin to disconnect
I begin to disconnect from this
I begin to disconnect ....from you

Inhale
My nepenthe
Erase
These memories

And only the deepest wounds will remain
As wretched scars in this fragile frame
Dressed like Christ in robes perfumed with pain
You shattered me at my most insane

I can see you smile again my angel of the night
In the motion of your lovely head in the glowing firelight
As the blade goes tearing through your flesh, disconnecting you
I see your teeth and lifeless eyes
The way you'd smile at me
Goodbye, my lover
You are no more
Farewell to your memory
You loveless ******* *****.

Erased

— The End —