it seems we live in times
when helping hands extend only reluctantly
to those in dire need who had to leave
     the ruins of their devastated homes
     not waiting for more bombs to fall
to those who had to save their lives
     from the barbaric rule of self-styled prophets
and those whose simple love of education
     was met with inane terror and oppression

why is it that so many people
     are afraid of them and think
     these desperate refugees are perpetrators
          not the victims

why is it that the nations most responsible
      for chaos and destruction in these countries
           far from their own safe shores
      are the least willing to accommodate
      those they have driven from their homes

good Samaritans have become scarce
only a few today share their possessions
     with those who are in greater need

our humanity has been outsourced
to NGOs and sundry other institutions
to whom we donate so they feed
the hungry   poor   and the displaced

it makes one wonder whether shameless greed
has indeed  
    and without any saving grace
become the only goal of our race

slowly
we recognize
the shapes again
still hovering between
familiarity and strangeness

gradually
the view becomes accustomed
like in a meeting of old friends
whom years have changed
yet let them keep their essence
that helps us to remember
how we once shared
a space and time
in our lives

eventually
walls become transparent
as we step cautiously
into the new old house
walk over stairs
that lead us
to the rooms we think we know
still apprehensive

they look different now

we balance carefully
between past and present
forever hopeful
we are coming back
to the home
we left
eternities ago

recently
after every massacre
by some fanaticized pathological idiots
politicians call upon their citizens
to come together
and pray for the murdered and their families

this is absolutely appropriate

but it seems
that ever since 9/11
the nation only comes together
AFTER more of its members have been killed

I wish very much
that the nation
   AND politicians
would come together
BEFORE  the next massacre
and take appropriate action
to prevent such disasters
in the first place

recently
after every massacre
by some fanaticized pathological idiots
politicians call upon their citizens
to come together
and pray for the murdered and their families

this is absolutely appropriate

but it seems
that ever since 9/11
the nation only comes together
AFTER more of its members have been killed

I wish very much
that the nation
   AND politicians
would come together
BEFORE  the next massacre
and take appropriate action
to prevents such disasters
in the first place

after every massacre
by some fanaticized pathological idiot
politicians call upon their citizens
to come together
and pray for the murdered and their families

this is absolutely appropriate
also absolutely inefficient

but it seems
that ever since 9/11
the nation only comes together
AFTER more of its members have been killed

I wish very much
that the nation
   AND politicians
would come together
BEFORE  the next massacre
and take appropriate action
to prevent such disasters
in the first place

a glance
   a word
      a gesture
         a little sigh
      a formula
    the neighbor’s greetings
  the train schedule
a note on your door

quite clear to understand
not long ago
now seem to foster
strange significances

the code for
unequivocal interpretation
   no longer works
ambiguity hovers in mid-air

you hesitate    and ponder
before you speak
begin to choose words carefully
   hoping
   against your knowing
that this would make them clearer
yet feeling that it does not really matter
that whatever you say

may be received quite differently
from what it is meant to convey

likewise
what you hear and see
appears to lack precision
   possible meanings
   proliferating connotations
   of irony, deceit, hidden aggression
threaten to shroud familiar sense
make you question old axioms
in fearful apprehension of unperceived realities

signs of a loss of self?
your brain dissolving?
senility approaching before its time?
or just too much of that foie gras and cabernet
the night before?
will it be gone tomorrow
    with bright sunshine and blue skies
or darken your remaining days
    under leaden clouds of doubts and insecurity?

Or is all this just a reminder
that you should take
   nothing
for granted and that
the only constant in life
is
change?

           * *

there seems to be no end
of armed cowards killing peaceful civilians
about to do their jobs or visit friends and chat
at airports  in the underground or in cafés

and then acknowleding full responsibility
for that grandiose achievement
of putting electric wires into some explosives
and sending innocent people to their death

these self-styled martyrs claim
their deeds are prompted by religious ends
and not the simply joy of killing those
     who have no arms for their defense
    and are quite unaware they have become the targets
     of delirious murderers who seriously imagine
     their heinous crimes could please their god
     and   if they blow themselves away together with their victims
     would send them straight into a paradise
     with many earthly and some heavenly rewards

or so they say

watching them over all these years
I have my doubts
that any god has business with those guys
    or they with him

     like other groups before them they abuse religion
     to justify their greed and power games
     god for them is simply a façade
     to mask their inhumanity

it’s time the world says a concerted NO
and makes it clear to all barbarians of our century
that our tolerance
is not for them

digital availability
   around the clock
after a while
begins to feel like
permanent responsibility

your friends expect you
to be online all the time
    whether you like it or not
so they can share with you their daily trivia
of personal condition, discount shopping, their dog’s health,
the children’s good, their problems with their partners,
etcetera etcetera

I know it’s nice to hit a button
and hear the ringing of the other’s phone
the voice responding to your call

it’s fine when there are no alternatives

and yet

somehow the electronic chat
confirms more than redeems
presence of absence of the person

I feel like talking to an avatar
a disembodied voice
that has a virtual existence
yet whose life in the real world
still needs to be asserted
by meeting – and talking –
in a café
or simply on the street

a crumbling asphalt road
   is the only way up
winding amid wild slopes
young brush  and vinyards
heavy with grapes

in the distance
we see the evening sun
   catch bare white mountain peaks

   on the hills before them
   glitter little towns and villages

the air is mild
chestnut trees
   keep dropping their fruit

the farmer's restaurant
   announced downhill
is closed

so is the church

a German shepherd dog
   silently
lies watch over the winery
   behind a cast-iron gate

the castello
turns out to be
   a not very impressive ruin

advertisement and reality
seem to have grown
far
     apart

what makes me write
is the quiet of the hills
   through which we walk
the sight of the full moon
   we enjoy
   with my hands
     cupped over your *******

our togetherness

          * *

I move
through gently opening embraces
and find myself
firmly enveloped in your luscious warmth
that urges me to push on further
until we reach the moment
  out of time and space
that holds us close
forever and again
  one
in a world of brilliant galaxies
  exploding
in deep space

speaking
we give voice
to our lives
blend our voices
with millions of others

do we create a sound
in the universe?

do we get across
one single word
that signifies
happiness
    the terror of the soul
       a brilliant concept?

or is it just noise
we produce

stellar statics that
scholars in another world
spend their lives
to fill
with meaning?

             * *

once again
    this time in Georgia
communities of color
saved democracy
from spiraling into
violent authoritarianism

in spite of armed white mobs
     incited by the president's men
breaking into the nation's capitol
looting and destroying
interrupting certification hearings
forcing members of congress
    to seek sheltered places
killing a policeman
causing five more deaths

the scenes
shocked the world
and most U. S.  citizens

america has become small again
no more a beacon of democracy
just another banana republic

in a real democracy
citizens cast their votes
and then respect
certified election results

cowgirls don‘t ride sidesaddle
unless they completely skedaddle
but even then, since their birth,
they hold on with great mirth
to that wonderful horn on their saddle

the sharp cry
   of a buzzard
draws widening circles
   in the summer sky

below
   small birds fall silent

a qiet moment
   expands into eternity

I grow tense
and cry your name
wishing so much

   so much

you were here
to share

like waterfalls
   words stream
   from lips

hours pass
in animated conversation
grammatically correct sentences
quite entertaining at times

behind
   the flood of words
important things
remain unsaid

listening to the news
one really gets the blues

in all their great meetings
    after cordial greetings
world leaders disagree
    for one reason or other

seems they don’t really bother
‘bout what should be their goals

    not to save their own souls
    but the folks in our world

the children all curled
    with pain in their belly
civilians burned dead
    with gasoline jelly

the women attacked for
    (a lack of) their clothing
as if there were nothing
more important than keeping
some men from their peeping

but what really matters
are the people in tatters
who flee from bombed homes
in despair and have come
    to realize
that their possible demise
does not affect those
who’d rather smell a rose
than seriously bother
about the fate of an other

tragedy unfolds every day
yet it holds little sway
in the news of the powers
that makes sure that ours
is different from theirs

until that dream sours
we need to write some
more encouraging verse

those who are big of mouth
apparently believe that putting down the other
      calling them names & pepper them with slurs
might get them some advantage in the race
for the position that they crave

they better harken back
to the old wisdom of their mothers

those who sow dragon’s teeth
will harvest dragons

predators of the soul
strike at the unexpected hour
having stalked their prey
for days and weeks and months

suddenly
the sun looks wan
and you know
they are there
waiting

when they attack
it’s almost a relief
and yet
the struggle is
for life
or death

the beast of the jungle
is very strong

it is that other side
of your core
that rears its head
in dark moments

the darkness of the mind
has gorges fathoms deep
with asphalt bitterness

tar babies of the soul
abound and toddle clumsily  
around in endless orbs
that neither know their center
nor their course

a ghastly crowd
   of orphans
floating by open doors
   unaware

people stuck in a mythic past
are unable to lead their country
into a great future

the clouds of cloudland
cast a light of pastel slate
through dripping windowpanes

and as if in a dream
we move and touch
I feel your loving lips
take in all that is yours
all I can give to you
in this enchanted moment
we carved
   in sudden desperation
out of the marble stream of time

           * *

the days fly by
busy with all those useful things
I do to make a living
of some sort

and all throughout
your presence in my thoughts
   wondering how you are
   whether your days go well
even though we do not talk
about it on the phone
as often at the time

always the feeling
of a saddening lack,
missing your voice,
your touch, your laughter
   even your grumblings
emails and sms’s help just
   to know that you are there

yet nothing lifts my heart
   and blows away
   that melancholy gauze
until we meet again
and I can hold you tight
and dance with you
   all through the night
into a brighter morning

             * *

the line
   between
life and death

   split seconds

the bloodless face
does not respond
to questions
asked too late

in awe
we bow
to the rules of life

realizing
the limits

acknowledging
the truth of the ancients

about
how to cope
with dying

that afternoon
   when we arrived
   for coffee & cake
   at the Vienna TV-tower
   I saw a bundle
   on a stretcher
   right by the entrance

I did not tell you
   what I learned
   from the flustered manager
   who quickly ushered us around
   the ominous object

that the crumpled shape
   had jumped from
   the panorama terrace
   not so long before

I would not allow
   a stranger's death
   intrude upon
   our happiness

have you ever been wondering
how death tastes
right now?

When your are undecided, remember:
The left is always right!

                  * *

when in the world’s (supposedly) leading democracy
a new president starts his office with

     making life more expensive for average home owners
     signing orders threatening the health of millions
     restricting the publications of researchers
     denying global warming
     encouraging coal and oil companies
     forbidding federal employees to talk to the media
     going on fantasy trips about “alternative facts"
          to justify his ridiculous lies
     blaming the media when asking questions and checking facts
     barring leading media companies from press conferences
     waffling about his Russian connections
     refusing to release his tax returns
     ordering to build walls to keep out all those aliens,
          like the old Chinese did, to little avail
     issuing poorly formulated presidential orders
          causing confusion and harm and even deaths
     banning even green card holders from entering the country
     filling his cabinet with all the alligators from the swamps
          he promised to clean during his campaign
          people who know how to avoid paying taxes and beating the     system
          but have no clue how to govern now that they ARE the system
          and think they can run the USA with its 350 million citizens
          as Trump&Cronies;, USA, Inc.,
          like their private family businesses, for profit
fraternizing with kings and monarchs & wannabe sultans in the near east
     'democratic dictators' in the far southeast
      and wannabe czars in russia
but hesitating to confirm ties to old allies
     in Europe, NATO, and the Far East
suggesting that having undeclared secret meetings
     is quite OK for his campaign team members
     his son and son-in-law & cetera
nominating well-known union busters
    into the Federal Office of Labor
    and a billionairess widely unaware
    of the existence of non-private schools
    as Secretary of Eduction
banning grandparents. grandchildren
     as well as aunts and uncles
     of gratuitously selected countries
     from joining their families in the USA
 believing that the US president & his cronies
     stand above the law 

[ctd. fron line 2...] THEN
it is high time to seriously ask
what concept
    if any
of democracy he has in mind

when in the world’s leading democracy
a new president starts his office with

     making life more expensive for average home owners
     signing orders threatening the health of millions
     restricting the publications of researchers
     denying global warming
     encouraging coal and oil companies
     forbidding federal employees to talk to the media
     going on fantasy trips about “alternative facts
          to justify his ridiculous lies
     ordering to build walls to keep out all those aliens,
          like the old Chinese did, to little avail
     issueing poorly formulated presidential orders
          causing confusion and harm and even deaths
     banning even green card holders from entering the country
     filling his cabinet with all the alligators from the swamps
          he promised to clean during his campaign
          people who know how to avoid paying taxes and beating the system
          but have no clue how to govern now that they ARE the system
          and think they can run the govnerment of the USA
          with its 350 million citizens
          as Trump&Cronies; USA, Inc.,
          like their private family husiness for profit

it is high time to seriously ask
what concept
    if any
of democracy he has in mind

when in the world’s leading democracy
a new president starts his office with

     making life more expensive for average home owners
     signing orders threatening the health of millions
     restricting the publications of researchers
     denying global warming
     encouraging coal and oil companies
     forbidding federal employees to talk to the media
     going on fantasy trips about “alternative facts"
          to justify his ridiculous lies
     blaming the media when asking questions and checking facts
     barring leading media companies from press conferences
     waffling about his Russian connections
     refusing to release his tax returns
     ordering to build walls to keep out all those aliens,
          like the old Chinese did, to little avail
     issuing poorly formulated presidential orders
          causing confusion and harm and even deaths
     banning even green card holders from entering the country
     filling his cabinet with all the alligators from the swamps
          he promised to clean during his campaign
          people who know how to avoid paying taxes and beating the     system
          but have no clue how to govern now that they ARE the system
          and think they can run the USA with its 350 million citizens
          as Trump&Cronies;, USA, Inc.,
          like their private family businesses, for profit
courting kings and monarchs & wannabe sultans in the near east
     'democratic dictators' in the far southeast
      and wannabe czars in russia
but hesitating to confirm ties to old allies
     in Europe, NATO, and the Far East
suggesting that having undeclared secret meetings
     is quite OK with his campaign team members
     his son and son-in-law

[ctd. fron line 2...] it is high time to seriously ask
what concept
    if any
of democracy he has in mind

demons and monsters

whether personal
    or sprung from  Hollywood creations
    in that vein

seem to be a little bit like gods

you can
     believe in them
     blame them
     adore them
     fear them
     pray to them

but

     or because

you have no proof
they exist

a sense of loss
   of lacking
   close to panic

the world spins by
   and leaves me
   in the void

ferocious nightmares
   rise out of
   restlessness expanding

until your voice
   saves me
   from drowning

sie wurde
zum alltagsgegenstand
geliebt und gehaßt
zeichen schlechter zeiten
und beschränkungen

von manchen
    gleichmütig angenommen
    als neues mode accessoir
für andere
     ein bedrohliches symbol
     für vorschriften von oben
für viele
     nur ein notwendiges übel
    das wieder verschwinden wird

wir müssen sicherlich
unsere reflexe
beim anblick maskierter personen
überdenken

   zumindest in unseren breiten
   waren masken meist kennzeichen
   von banditen und räubern

nun tragen sie die guten
und die bösen nicht
aber … wie sicher können wir sein?

es ist eine ernste herausforderung
aus den bewegungen der augenbrauen zu ermessen
ob du einem freund begegnest

oder nicht

times are
when words seem
to have lost
their power
to be spoken

they stubbornly refuse
   to form
on the same lips
from which they flowed
only a heartbeat
ago


difficult words
they have become

I love you

forgive me

I love you

the sea
is a silken blanket
under slow-moving clouds

feisty cats pretend
   not to notice us
   enter the restaurant

   when dinner is served
   they assemble around us
   quiet but insistent

your eyes talk to me
our legs touch

I kiss your hand  
   and
when the candle is lit
   the waiter gone
distract you a little
   with a hidden caress
from enjoying your
hors d'oeuvre

        * *

sharing our duty
in ambulance cars
for several months
it took a masked ball
to make us meet

when I helped you
into your coat
in the wee hours
of a crisp December night
I just could not resist
to kiss the soft hair
on the back of your neck

you turned around
and held me close

though we did not
  share a bed that night
this was when we turned lovers
   without words

you were advanced in years
but not in love
so we explored together
a new world of sensations
love and pain and bliss
on benches hidden in the city parks
in my small Spartan student's room
and practically everywhere

our love and our bodies were
an endless source of pleasure
when I first kissed you
in a very tender spot
you simply fainted with delight

then came a perfect summer day
we horsed around in splashing water
when suddenly
   the world went still
our play arrested
   in a frozen moment
   a time warp
     to eternity
you still were close in space
    yet worlds away
distance engraved forever
    as one some Grecian urn



I knew then
I would always be
      alone
to face myself
    at my time's end

later you said
that I had looked
like I had seen a ghost

how right you were
took me some time to recognize

it was the ghost
of my most inner self
looked back at me
   out of the glistening surface
       of the pool
   out of the cloudless summer sky
   out of your loving frightened eyes  

a self that had not then
   and still has not
      I am afraid
the strength to bare
his softness
   to the one he loves
trying to save
a shining image
   crystal clear
but in fact
dimmed long time ago
along the roads of life

perhaps it was this ghost
that made us
   grow    apart

you wanted all of me
   and more of us
while I was still a student
   with a goal
not ready yet
   (would I ever be?)
for close menage á deux
determined but uncertain
   in his quest for ...
   well - in his quest

the flames were hard to quench
a whisp brought embers to a blaze
    by the mere thought of you

we broke
   made up
     only to break again
talked over issues
   faint with sleepless nights
embraced with desperate passion
   for the last time
and then agreed to meet once more

at last we were burnt out
         and
   looking at the ashes
knew that we must have learned a lot
yet felt no wiser

   only  very  
        very  sad

*  *  

the world is slowing down

a mist of milky gossamer moves in
between
my will and things to do
the clear shapes of objects
are growing soft and dull
the moment's urgency
yields to my ponderings
   of possible decisions
abstract rigidity arrests the words
things stay forever as they are

   is it a sense of death
   that delicately touches on my neck
   and steals from me the comfort
   of continuous change?

life seems to walk away
in long and measured stride
the kitchen clock has never been so fast

it measures time
from here up to the stars

it counts
and blows
the moments of my delicate eternity
one by one
into the past

* *

life on our globe has turned
truly ‘complificated’
and many struggle to maintain
a semblance of the ordinary
in our daily goings about town

face masks, regulations and prescriptions
have changed how we can interact
if we may at all
with each other, friends, family, or strangers

physical distancing may rise desire
for at least digital social closeness
yet in its wake
emotional remoteness seems to grow

hanging like a shadow over
occasional live meetings with old friends
children, aunts, uncles, grandparents etc.

we watch them with veiled suspicion
they somehow look a little less familiar
since we met them last time
who knows what they might carry

strangers watching strangers we have become
growing more alienated from each other

the time we spend in doing things
we think are necessary
with hindsight may appear like idle play
wasting a precious part of the allotment
we have been given on this earth

the problem is we do not know

and so we take the risk and muddle on
trying to do our best
hoping it will not be our worst

the end is nigh -
IMPEACH!

like many stoutly claim
    as members of some Christian faith
love our neighbors as we love ourselves

then why do we look down on those
    of different creeds and cultures
    skin color, clothes, or hats
suggest to keep them out by building walls,
suspect them of barbarian ways,
let them drown,
put them in camps,
build fences,
stop them at our borders,
prefer
   in short
to have them elsewhere

maybe we should love ourselves much more
so we can better love
the tired, hungry, and the poor
who come to our shores and borders
     in search of safety and shelter,
     freedom, and human dignity

let us remain easy, and truer
to the spirit of our Liberty,
remembering our heritage
     and that of our parents
     and their parents
most likely immigrants from somewhere
looking for a better place
    to have a life and rear their children

it helps to see our neighbors as our friends
rather than enemies
and love them like we love ourselves

when we start our day
how it might end

whether we'll see
our loved ones again
after we say goodbye to them
in the morning

wheter the world
will kerp on turning
as we know it

we do not know

yet we asssume

a world built on asumptions
is the only one
we have

some nights
I dream of worlds
that must have come from childhood fairy tales

people work happily in various trades
politicians are actually fighting for their citizens
    to make life easier and more rewarding

skin color does not matter
    nor does religious orientation
a person’s character creates distinction

women don’t live in fear of getting *****
nobody is sold into slave labor or prostitution
education is of high quality and free
    from grade school to college
financed by affluent corporations
whose shareholders just get a bit less

when I wake up
I recognize
the dream was just a dream

our reality is different

when the heads of nations forget dignified tones
we are well on our way to that „clean“ war with drones

we have found each other
   across thousands of miles
   across different cultures and traditions
    
we have found each other
   among seven billion plus people
   on this globe

   finding each other
   was the easiest part

   strangers in the night

   staying together
   has been truly challenging
   at times

idiosyncracies
failures deficiencies fears
hopes wishes dreams
illusions and taboos
pieces of history from previous lives
   keep popping up at crucial moments
   in often Freudian transfigurations

   innocuous words
   may trigger convoluted memories
   freighten new contexts
      with old pain and sorrow

   a gesture
   a tone of speech
   a situation
   suddenly turn into déjà vu
   twisting their present freshness
      beyond belief
   into habitual frames of order

   the prisons of our pasts
   do not offer easy escapes

yet we have found each other
   among the billions on this globe

there is no other but the each
   to build a life together

ever and again
politicians apparently forget
that the dangers
of living on our planet
are real

and that it is their responsibility
to make sure  
that they hand out contracts
only to companies
that build safe houses
that do not bury their inhabitants
under their rubble

when the earth quakes

not only for Christians
ideas of coming back to life

    like older myths
    of fertility and rebirth

are infinitely attractive

from the balcony of the hotel
I keep looking down
upon the elderly man
living in a one-family home
across the street

he often sits
in a rickety chair
reading newspapers

in the mornings
an elderly woman
   his wife? the houskeeper?
airs rooms and sweeps

one afternoon
there are two teenage girls
chatting along on the balcony

but usually
it is the man
sitting and reading  
or     one night
walking the balcony

did he once
cry out silently in pain
when they built the hotel
and took away
his view over the bay?

or was he the owner
of the lot along the shore?

or are he
and the elderly woman
the grandparents
of the two teenage girls
spending the summer in a rented house?

I do not know

but I wonder why
he looks to me as if
he would rather be
elsewhere

       * *

last night
I had a thought
that felt like it might turn
into pure poetry

I clung to it
and tried to make it stay
and grow

but it went on its way

and I to sleep

nothing but memories to keep
   of possibilities

when the loud beep of my alarm
woke me to other thoughts
and yet another day

after a tasty  lunch
& and extensive joyous afternoon chats
     with her women friends
while he was doing the dishes
she had no words left for him

so they started
       their smart phones and Kindles
and relaxed in their separate worlds

a Pulitzer Prize winner
tells us in an interview
in TIME magazine
that a necessary part
of our future energy
must be nuclear

no word
     about the hazards of nuclear waste
     the advantages of alternative sustainable
          and renewable sources of energy
     or about reducing energy consumption

very strange