in my pocket
and a whole world of words
a picture of her in my wallet
and a poem

in my heart
I could not be richer
nor poorer a dichotomy
of circumstance

some might say
get a job but
I get heart stamps not
from the government

but from people
and spend them to make
me smile
and they are honored everywhere
because they are
all in my head
my way of looking
at things

is the cure the solution the be all
if I knew what the question was
I might not need as many answers

Grace was not all there
in the way society looks at people
nor in the know
she rode that little bus to school

yet she drew pretty little
pictures on the walls at home
and wrote the saddest songs
on toilet paper
or whatever she could find

she once went to the river
when her mom had
gone grocery shopping

and found a grasshopper
and  brought him home

and drew a perfect picture
of a small insect on top of the world
reaching for the sun
and the moon
I think I understand
her

is there a condition
where one can overdose on empathy
on caring
until tears become a malady

Until others hearts
are nearly more important
than ours
and we **** up our life

is that or
could it be an addiction
to seek maybe sad things
and others pain

subconsciously
trying to alleviate
our own?

I am wondering
if I need an intervention.

go glory
worm like
growth
until you
outshine the morning

I count
your petals
and
await that
day we our splendor

becomes
the thing
how
unrequited
we are in waiting

for morn-
ing  un-
til
our beauty
comes full bloom

from the
dirt keen
proud
standing tall
in the morning.

the boys
my crew
my squad

the boys
in the bag
hanging

I got two

thems my
family jewels
and I cradle
them in silk
drawers

and get
real protective
of thems
at times

I pick up
things using
my legs
I scratch
ems

I keep
em cool
cause they
say too
warm can
be harmful

I shaved
ems once
what a
mistake
They got
itchy as
all get-out

Then I
got old
and they
hung to
my knees
and got
pretty unsightly

I look
on the
bright side
and thank
whomever
it was
that invented
the cup
and baggy
jeans!

if I did have a large room of money
wwwwould that make me what,
ggggreedier
if I had ten thousand or
  ten million

would I be any richer
I would smoke most of it up
probably
but I promise

there would be
a few others
to get a piece of it

i promise....
every time I check
my lottery numbers....

I meant something you did not
understand
I thought of people standing around
in a circle sharing love
not for you to literally kiss off, like kiss
my *** or anyone elses
*** or anything on them,
kiss off was figurative
like a symbol for the whole world singing
that Coke commercial,
remember that?
And how for a second you
got a warm *** feeling inside
when you saw it,
or a sweet puppies face,
seems we have empathy a'plenty for a dog
in hardship then we do for people
so how's about a kiss for me,
or the vagabond on the corner,
or the mom with five kids and no old man
or the forgotten old man or woman,
****,
we are all ******* ,
you know it?

If I could be as sweet and nice as I want to
be I  might make sick all of  humanity
I might make all of you high
talking about this world I dream of
where love is free there on the streets
food is words wine is flowing
no one is hungry and starving
we look at the unshaven
and the people with soils
the same as  looking in the mirror
or the shine of a silver spoon
all of  us as mighty
worthy of a hug
and kisses are of the quality
and frequency as the
complaining *******
bellowing out get a job
I have a job
a life
and a temporary position
trying to live up to the
biblical saying
do unto others
it seems the most religious are the
most deaf
and the richest the least generous
I have no proof
but my eyes
and hands on kind of ****
wisdoms. 'Scuse me
I need to relax.
Come with me,
the downtrodden.

danger on the rocks
in the tight jetties trying
to make a way to port
with one engine and water
swallowing
and I bailed one eye
to the shore and two on her *******
she was the bosses daughter
and well bred
a worthy mate
she heaved and hoed as I did
her bucket filled as mine was
throwing salty water over the port
bow with arms as smooth
as any sailor but no tattoos
until later
she had an anchor tattooed
on her , well keel,
when we made shore
and sank into the white beach
she said welcome aboard
and I took off my sea legs
and white sailors cap and saluted her,
gave an ahoy to all who could hear

for sure, one
word from you
is worth all I have ever
thought.

One thought of me
is pure heaven,
I can tell
when you do.

I know when you
think of me ,
the curtains draw back the
rainbow becomes

visible.
And I lose my breath
and stutter.
All the flowers suddenly

bloom the grass is green
on my lawn and the U.S. mail
delivers on time
that check,

I was waiting on.

it's great centerfield defense
and a shortstop that hits for average and power
flamethrowers that can strike out Thor
and a smart decisive strong armed catcher
it's the world series
it becomes the showcase of the best two
and the showdown
like it used to be
in the middle of the street
now a diamond
still dusty
and long awaited for
by both cities:
may the best team win!

through the noise and traffic
I fought my way to tonight
like the brash loud car racing
light to light

the crazy race driver on
the public streets
the guy on your
bumper

you can feel him almost cussing away
and honking and in a hurry
that was me
until I got peace

I no longer rev my engine
or try to beat the yellow
I putt-putt
along in the slow lane

now,
wanting to see the leaves of the tree and
all the people and study
what they are doing
in their daily

going on and on,
and the guy with no muffler
now is not me,
the guy has finally won

peace
and contentment
almost walking I am now
and my legs

feet soul are
much better for it.

bodies rise like stars
into heavenly space far,
the rush of love comes

feeling is the one I get
when you smile
and act shy
like you're sweet and innocent
and mine

I sat along  the sideways singing
along with the sad songs
feeling all the words being
almost one of the lyrics
lost trying to hold on
  to almost blues and almost
holding on to
my broken heart my
bad times song
when the guitar strings
sang the next time last
next it strummed
a sad chord strained
  along the chord
it hummed
   brought me out of it
almost magic
     and there I sat
along the last time  
  next,
the brink of  
    tragedy
in  a calmness

to amazing music and making love
call me Carlos when i get in the mood
smooth is what I like  
drift on the waves almost
along the surf into Europa
I almost don't need a partner

I want all to feel the  magnificence
try to listen
hush a minute

just about now I heard
the wind music sing again her loathsome song
among the cloudy songs
saw the sky breath
and sea *******
the horizons
innocence
Just about when I thought
i might expect to hear it
so, I might be playing it myself
I have  been known to before,
play songs along the rim of existence
saturating with hope
the unknown
in that central thought in my central
heart soul
I always wandered
in my head along the rim the abyss
teetering
right before
falling in

the crescendo
and it takes me a
lifetime to reach
I said before in lower scales

the peak
further in life i understood
the melody the ambitions
the why's

I saw the waves building
the might of nature building slow
then strengthening

in the *** of the sirens song
the brash of  lust
her basest instincts

the sun rising the crust
of the earth rising volcanic
me

I am and you are all that

rising above mere
existence

I have found the beauty
you propounded
your wisdom in choosing me

Heart melded perhaps
with wisdom
self with empathy

it took ages and
was not an easy path
to send me on

you , my muses ,
must have seen something
in my being

in my me, far off , you
saw future , predicted
where I might become

a mere human
striving for a muse or inspiration
among so many.

I am heartened
by the thought of you
inspiring

so many more

to decide are you better now
has the hand of fate made you wiser
richer or  more prolific

is that not enough time
to decipher truth and reason and rhyme
or I will give you ten more

and will that make the differences
to make you perfect then
then is what I look at

now needs to be studied
amplified sung seen
now is all there is

for certain and so fleeting
as to where it is or where it needs to be
but, if one

calms hisself himself herself its being
enough now comes crystal clear
now

cleanses the past de-worries the future
doesn't depend on fair skies or riches
now is breathing

is all we have
is something the Philosophers
missed

it is hard to grasp now and hold her down
in fact it's impossible
but if you can try

to live  in the  now
then then becomes passe

the passages play taking me deeper within
the catacombs the secrecy
along the dark I crawl on
hands on knees

until I reach this depth I seem
to think all is but a secret fallacy
a game we play with truth
and light and dark

at times I break away from reality
try to make sense of what i have seen
the melting clocks the obscene

visions of the holocaust
skeletons
are in the closet
of the whole of us

judge me
judge and as Jesus said
those without sin

I am calm now

I think there may be a day beginning
before another war
where we might
stop trying to
be
and all sit down together

in a round
amphitheater and hear
together
the angels sing

she was prosedy
not encoded in anything shorter
than herself
and herself was vast

she was vocabulary and rhyme all
at once
she was the loudness
with which I cried

intensity and duration
spectrally my rhyme
you just had to hear her

whereby the pause
was significant
I cried higher

higher until
she stopped
listening

are the roses the poses of *** scented
posies daffodils the  long stems of grass
the moss the rutting of rabbits
in the field(s) without
ravaging man's hands and intrusions

If we were more the masters might
we plant more hibiscus or petunias
or forget-me-nots
and I see
the mastery of natural selection

by being the one selected out
and it happens and
life goes on
and the fields bloom with beauty
year after year
with or without me

but man is jealous
of nature and seeks to tame
the untamable
the wildness the random
seeks to explain why
and hold to his breast

a velvet touch a silk rose
his wisdom
as better

has been ebb and flow
feline canine
to and fro

has been dark then light
man woman
peace and fright

has been colors and races
black white
red  and yellow

has been those in charge
bosses slaves
rich and poor

has been a time to see
positive negative
time and space

has beens
I am tired of
might be time for space
and colors and races
sexes positive and negative
rulers and peons
rich and poor
to see
I am ranting again

Talking I suppose
about some time or space
in the future
when evolution
is joined with god
or right with
left
or peace becomes
our ambitions
and man walks upright
morally
as well

rational
I studied history
and none of  it seems rational
the amazing reach of human's irrationality
comes through
in so many ways I don't want to
say
to say we are rational is a lie
because I have proof
rational then is a goal
that I can see
I have that goal too
but to tell me
this  life has been
up to now
rational
is a delusion

therefore I doubt my own convictions
I have lost my students by my own
wavering.

attendance goes down day by day
and the real travesty is the children
still , I have doubts

not of the truth but
of the outcome
Like Charlie Hebdo

And may I be a violence offender
promoting
free thought so

I am offended by the
attacks that made me rethink
my perspectives

I may be laying into their hands

my senses can only detect 14 billion light years out
a little depressing- thinking how old the universe is
and the morality of replacing religious views
might be morally deceptive where
our sight is limited and science tries to explain expansion
maybe our views need fantasy and Gods to limit
the raging decadence of society
perhaps we need fairy tales
we need to stop finding new Galaxies
and go back to the
more constrictive Golden Rule
so I try to suspend reason
and get Faithful
but the engines and physics
and my attitude
put up barriers
and it's a great Paradox
a large conundrum
I cannot figure
alone
God i wish for a God

the songs have all been wrote before
the poems all laid down in history
every thought and dream seemingly
has been explored
to the depths
of the last word the last letter
into the bare necessities
into luxury
said  much better
sung like it was there
from the beginning
that is what intrigues me
how vast the world of song and art and words
can be
making lives better
better said
touching all is my goal
I fail
but I have to try
and I can't sing
either
on key

"count your blessings"
I tried once
like I tried to count the
specks on the  
ceiling;
I got lost between
a million.....
and  infinity

metaphors
similes
and adjectives

nouns and verbs

need a warning label

HIGHLY ADDICTIVE

i have become
an I phone 3
in an I phone 7
world

I might be outdated
slow
not as shiny
and scratched

I might be out
of date
archaic
not waterproof

for sure
but as long as you
are around to
charge my batteries

I can still
call 911

her sighs tender her heart her breast her flesh
tender is she my gentle place i seek
gentle is her all her
with hair soft as any silk
and arms open forgiving
when I am lost
I remember her
and all is again
heaven

I am given this right
to  feel to try
I with the next breath
expand my chest and might

I flex my aura my
lungs my being
I strive like every living
thing

I stand as tall as I was made
by the rich dirt
nurtured by the falling waters

I stand  in the rain
arms spread wide taking in
my birthrights
the worth
of me

I give each and all
every sprout every tree
every gnat and flea
this right also

I cry when
the rain falls
when the sky clouds up

the heavens must breathe ,
too
thankfully

age can bloom a younger
day a new me a new age
years of seeing might just bring newness
explain the past the future

make today the day I finally am
open my eyes full
that until now have been
half open

fancy that day youth blind
when destiny stares back at you
expect the day  your past is longer
and more grand

than your future
you will
understand

to wish upon that star sparkling
high above this mortal world
I might wish were I smart for
two more wishes
but if I were limited to one
I might wish for one
more

they don't speak a word
but say so much
words sometimes
are not enough

I seems to be the only word
this day, where we
and us is underused
it is too often said

it is obtuse
bland too all encompassing
lazy and and
and

is almost like the moon the stars
just carries the thought on
a Boolean operator

doesn't on it's own say a *******
thing but  is useful
needed

like the moon and stars
the is  another subject

I and we and us and they and the stars the moon
the operators the operands the conjunctions the adjectives
clauses nouns and verbs
are all the  moon and stars and it and we and I
can be conveyed if

if is another thought
another day

Just a tune a melody
a song a flute playing
a bass note driving deeply
a human voice saying

there in the field I hear it
in the woods I hear
I hear in the streets of the city
the tune of life

this tune this life
sings herself if you care
enough to hear her
she has the most beautiful

song the sweetest voice
she can sing a birdsong
sound like the wind
be a kitten's meow

the rustle of the woods
the silent majesty singing
of how tall the majestic mountains soar
the simple laugh of a child

the sob of the lost lover
the cry of the wild
she can sound like your insides
your brain

or the train whistle
an alarm clock
a dinner bell
a slight sigh

a good morning smile
the last goodbye
she has this voice
you see

indescribable
try though I may
I can't match her range
or catch her beauty

in mere words
that song resides in
each  of us
playing

if we just take
the time to
hear

thunder with my eyes
beauty in her radiance heard
lost dark and  light
sweet and salty been
near
the moistness of many tears
called upon the deities
cried out for forgiveness
sinned as a devil fork tongued
been the forgiver
been forgiven

saw the Valley and the hill
the long track of life
the many steps taken the many steps lost
been saved and saviour
both good  bad and between
been an artist and a creator
a lost soul

among the many things the vales and
pinnacles I have roamed like a sheep
and I seek a shepherd or a light
or something that makes more sense
to me

but in case
in the case life is but a jest
a game I see
I played all sides of it
may that make me
less guilty
less me

in the end

the sun light
the dark
the time between being
both lost ....found
the mark the
dot the point of return
the past
the now a part
of the future
the why not
the why was not
the why can't I see
the  horizon
the last sign
of sanity
I am the all
the beginning the end
the last fountain
I am all I will
ever know for certain
the god the lost
dog
the best
worst the now
the future the  me
and all I can say
is that you are too

the closest friends the
lovers in spring
when summer comes
or fall or winter
grow apart and make
new limbs new routes
new lives new things
it is part of life
that the fruits
get scattered far and wide
like love does and friends and
acquaintances
become lost to touch
but not
remembrance

of picking cotton almost
or fruit from trees
you ***** a finger
bruise a knee
the children now
so brought up
without need
think a lack
of wireless is the end of the world
but
I see young men
strong going to war for our country
like my generation
and those before me did
so I hold out hope
that not all this new
generation is blind
and all about greed
some
are
truly like my and mine before
see
beyond this horizon

I bring hotdogs and turnips to it
gladly sit in the unpopular rows
with people who know their **** stinks,
not those who feel a need to condescend
degrade and comment on others here
I would gladly bring 'tato chips
and nachos and pass on the high brow
caviar some think they are
for you smell
when you judge others
like you are the beginning end and class of the show
when you are just
pretty versions of *******
in better clothes
with store bought words and
stupid wits.

in the paper and liked it
it flowed ebbed
had substance
it was a word I had liked from afar
for too long
I decided to out myself
abandon my fear
and confess
my love for it
it was concise compact two letters
it wasn't just mine
to cherish
it was all of ours
it
stood alone

make Endorphins more receptive today
the plant smoked or
perhaps a Corona or two,
I love that name Corona,
like something from the sun,
I like bud , it speaks to me
has multiple meanings,
everything gets showy golden
when I get giddy,
must be me  a chemical thing,
and  no more worries,
you ever feel like that?
Until tomorrow comes again
with brute force hammering
the insides of your head,
but ,
I like the word but,
I like butts,
that small extra t
makes the whole meaning change
and I like to smile
I smile at you
you who enjoys with me
my centrifuge
stirring atoms up
into meaning
and brewing
reactive nowhere's
and attitude
endorphins
we must not tease
go whole hog
or give it up
fuse two neurons together
or something

and neighbors near this Saturday
I apologize before it occurs
I am gonna get wasted
turn my music way up
and  dream

was intended
and another paragraph was
to begin
but I lost my
way among
convention
where among
the apostrophe
i turned left
to another
way of annotating

there just couldn't be wrong when it was early June
with every bird flying majestic every tree full
of fruit and leaves
ever even the grass
on my side
of the fence
lush
the sun high
promising more
the  night
romantic
and just
long enough
to make
wistful
an aged
poet

a long way down I finally looked around
to see truth and beauty in a small tree
under a large old  one
trying to grow
like her daddy
in his shade
above his wide reaching roots
I sat down for a day
and tried to talk to them
in a way i succeeded
for all of the sudden
in their pursuit of light water nutrients
I saw me
and I wondered
why do I have legs
and feet they seem to be
quite prosperous
happy almost rooted
in one place
fair and tall one and proud
protective
of his little shoot
where I
had to roam
happiness
I saw then is
being content
being
just being
where you are  
is not important
the sun shines
and dirt is all around
and if I were a tree
I'd be proud of me