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Trying so hard,
Nothing to see
But my own heart,
Maybe at peace
As it once was,
It now lies awake,
Waiting for an end
To this longing
My eyes,
Don't give any answers
To your questions of belonging
Where are we?
Am I with you?
Only if I knew,
I'd tell you too!
Trying to learn, while I learn to fail
Not to be fixated now that I have set the sail
Towards a wiser me, maybe a brighter me
Decided to travel through the travesties,
Only to enlighten me.  

All I was hoping for was an illusion,
Was it an illusion of my creation?
Maybe nothing but just a delusion,
Maybe I'll get through it, hoping for an end
Never realized how I was missing the point,
When I let my laughter suspend.

They say it is all about the journey and not the destination,
I always figured they didn't understand my situation
What's the worse that can happen, they ask
Well, I may come short of the handed task.

Is it all in the process, I wonder
Is pondering about the end game always a blunder
Weren't we all meant to get somewhere, achieve our goals?
Or are we always trying to fill a hole,
A hole without which we can't be whole,
A part of us, this hole so wide,
It can make you do the unthinkable,
A hole of the unknown in our very own little fable.

I'm always at war to figure out the answer,
Maybe the quest in itself is a paradox,
Maybe I'd be better off figuring out the way
To love the journey and finally think outside the box.

The answer had always been in front of my eyes,
I couldn't unwrap myself from all the lies
The untold truth of what we were supposed to be,
Not finding the hidden treasure but being the voyagers of the sea,
For the treasure is what you see,
When you become better than what you were meant to be.

Just a little older, just a little wiser
Now understanding that I was always a miser
Holding onto my darkness and never letting go,
Now I'm making memories that I can never blow.

The destination had always been on my mind,
Always right in front of my eyes,
I was clouded, I was stranded
The rewards always seemed nice
But walking when I was supposed to run
Made me comprehend that the journey is what is fun!
I was under the spell,
The spell of love,
Forgot how much I had bled
In churning out a new me for you,
How often do you get your wishes fulfilled
from up above?
I thought I was happy,
Now I often repent the path that I had tread.
Doing what you're supposed to,
Is a mixed feeling in itself,
Trying to chase something better,
While I sit at a place
And appreciate the clutter.
Life, as we understand it, could just be another one of our fickle imaginations
Every day is a new fantasy
We are running around in circles concentric;
Making us feel vulnerable and asking ourselves whether we are eccentric
With each passing experience, we make the circles grow bigger,
But are we growing, who's to know?
Maybe we are and who's to blame us,
After all, life is all about trying to be a better part of our selves
At the core of these circles, we lie and we never try to forget
Who we were during the part of the whole process.

Even if we did figure it all out, who we were supposed to be;
Never fearing about the fall-out and remembering our need to be free,
Even if we did stutter to make the best of it,
Did we ever try to feel like a complete part of it?

Who are you chasing?
Is it a part of you that you left behind or just another one of your own created versions?
At the centre of it all, we're still the same person
Who we were and we never tried to escape it, all we did was just reshape it.

We're running in tails of who we wanted to be
Never realizing how much we want to be the one we were supposed to be
But who are we supposed to be?
What's the cost of happiness we ask,
Is it drowning into your problems or giving life a way to seep through you?

Every tangent is different, every experience will take you away from your circle,
to make you feel something more
But that might not be the only way to grow, but it surely will be the right one
They say 'go with the flow' without ever telling the real truth,
Go with the flow as long as you don't crash and burn.

Chaos is everywhere, within you and without you
In chaos there's meaning, there's truth
It's inevitable but so are you
Each chaos is your tangent, maybe the aftermath is not the complete you,
It won't matter though as long as you take the exit
And get back to where you were before.

At the end when the dust settles, you're still your self
Your version who thought he was better than your previous self,
It was harmonious knowing what you know now
Even if you found yourself and how,
Knowing you'll never go back to being the same person you were,
before life consumed you and you became the paranoia that only you know.

You are still the centre of your creations,
Raking chaos in your way of finding a meaning.
Trying not to lose yourself along the way,
Before you fade away.
Feels like the days are flowing by,
While I lay here, restless
Unaware of my becoming
Like an unusual goodbye.
You don't have to go
But if you must,
Escape to a place
Where the cold winds blow,
A place of starry nights
And even better snow.
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