It was the story of that one boy and me, like thousands other stories.
And his smile gave me the feeling of ever lasting happiness. God's favor and protection, experience of simple beauty and overall vulnerability which made me feel  like a girl who once again fell in love for the first time.  Made me ache for spending every sunrise of my life just holding on his smile.
You could take everything from me if You wanted, but never the memory of that boy.
And I could trade all the rays of the setting sun in this world for the warmth of his smile.

I wish they invented
A sorrow cleaner
That would **** up
Pain and loneliness
Into its vacuum
So you would never
Complain again
About the shattered bits
Of my heart
That I left on your carpet
The day we parted ways.


F.Z.N

My thoughts are in a state of anarchy
And they crash into your words.
And remember.
And forget.
And do not know what's worse.

Remembering is bitter sweet-
Never to be, always been.
To forget is to cut out all the words
etched into my skin.

And I fall into this silence,
Indecision is my curse.
I remember.
And forget.
And do not know what's worse.