I can’t wait to be a hundred;
turning over the thoughts
and plots, of Caledon
floating on Zimmer inserts
and dusted Florsheims
three steps forward
in a dream woven
summer afternoon

Through the barn doors
and bee keeper flats
assimilating voices
from Sachems
and Forbes
and Hope Healers
coming and going
as the countryman
comes and goes

You can feel it
in a place like this
the 3 in the tree memories
of Allis Chalmers
and combine parts
of Sundrim poppers
and shallow carp fields
of patterned lawsons
and fading caulk
(on the ripped and rolled
frontier seats)

it’s a wishing well
for the peddler
and bold hydrangea...
both peeking their way
through the rusted
grinders wheel

Ich ging durch den beschmutzten bevölkerten Korridor mit den Reben, die drinnen und draußen wuchsen, entlang und ich sah in jeder Tür mein Spiegelbild, während ich vorüberging. Ich wohnte genau zum Zimmer – nicht einhundertfünfzig Zentimeter weg; die Entfernung war fast nicht größer, als ich war, und nicht alter. Ich erläuterte meine Angst vor dem Dunkel mit einem Frösteln. Meine Zähne klapperten und klingelnden Münzen, die in meiner Tasche blieben, schrien in meinem Ohr gewohnte Lieder.
Eine Tür öffnete und einen Moment lang hörten wir das Weltall. Wir allesamt waren in dem Korridor. Ein krystallener Stab wie einer, den Leute in der Versuchsansalt oder in der Kneipe benützten, zerbrach. Der Stabinhalt floß in die Hand des Mannes, der sein Zimmer verließ, eine silberne Flüssigkeit. Das Echo des Wortes „Quecksilber“ klang in dem Korridor.
Jedes Zimmer ist gleichbedeutend wie das Letztere, aber es ist auch unterschiedlich. Jedes beinhaltet grenzenlos Fähigkeiten, und unterschiedliche Chemikalien, unterschiedliche Chemie, und unterschiedliche Emotionen.
Ängstlich öffnete ich meine Tür und trat in einen millionsten Anteil von mir selber und ich war ich selber. Symphonien flossen von meinem Kopf weiter, und von den Symphonien kamen fliegende Fische.
Es war nicht wichtig, dass andere Menschen ähnliche Zimmer wie mein Zimmer hatten; es war nur wichtig, dass ihre Zimmer verschieden waren. Ihre Zimmer waren Käfige, genau wie ihre Herzen und auch ihre Hände. Der Mann im Korridor, der hirschartige Augen hatte, blies das flüssige Metall, das seine Hand fasste weg. Die Flüssigkeit wurde Staub und glitt zu mir wie Backpulver oder Schnee im Schneesturm. Ich konnte alles hören und ich musste mich von dem Weiß, das der Staub brachte, trennen. Ich hasste den öden Morgen, den das hervorbrachte.
Ich wollte meine Tür öffnen und wollte den silbernweißen Straub vorzeigen, dass ich auch Sachen in der Luft erschaffen konnte. Ich wollte, aber ich konnte nicht. Ich konnte Sachen in der Luft meines Zimmers erschaffen, aber nicht im Korridor. Man braucht Ressourcen, um etwas zu ändern oder zu formen. Ich besaß Keine.
Die Welt schüchterte die Leute ein, die Verstand hatten.

The missus bought a Paperback
  ...at Val Village, Saturday,
  I had a look inside her bag;
  ....T'was "Fifty Shades of Grey".

  Well I just left her to it,
  And at ten I went to bed.
  An hour later she appeared;
  The sight filled me with dread…..

  In her left she held a rope;
  And in her right a whip!
  She threw them down upon the floor,
  And then began to strip.

  Well fifty years or so ago;
  I might have had a peek;
  But Mabel hasn't weathered well;
  She's eighty four next week!!

  Watching Mabel bump and grind;
  Could not have been much grimmer.
  And things then went from bad to worse;
  She toppled off her Zimmer!

  She struggled back upon her feet;
  A couple minutes later;
  She put her teeth back in and said
  .....I am the dominater !!

  Now if you knew our Mabel,
  You'd see just why I spluttered,
  I'd spent two months in traction
  For the last complaint I'd uttered.

  She stood there **** and naked
  Bent forward just a bit
  I went to hold her, sensual like
  and stood on her left ***!

  Mabel screamed, her teeth shot out;
  My god what had I done!?
  She moaned and groaned then shouted out:
  "Step on the other one"!!

  Well readers, I can't tell no more;
  About what occurred that day.
  Suffice to say my jet black hair,
  Turned fifty shades of Grey.

From the House Of Ali -Najaf to the House Of Hussain-Kerbala,
Swarms of people walk 80kilometres for threes days- united,
The largest peaceful gathering in the world with free services,
An experience like no other.
Blessed are those who walk,
More blessed are those who serve.
No discrimination,
Regardless of sect, profession or social status,
Rich or poor,
Young or old,
Men or women,
In wheel chairs, crutches or with Zimmer frames,
Prams or hand carts,
All march with respect and dignity,
With one thought in mind,
To pay allegiance to Hussain,
Who sacrificed his head for humanity.
Every eye is moist,
Every heart torn in grief,
Chanting"Labbaik Ya Hussain."
With an iron will to complete the walk.
A nation, war-torn, wounded,
Embraces the whole world in the name of Hussain,
The longest dining table,
Where every zuwar is honoured and treated like royalty,
To pay in currency, none,
Only love and kindness and an urge to serve the zuwars.
Along the roadside are set up Mowakebs (tents),
That provide every kind of facilities and amenities ,
Food,beverages medicines,toiletries,
Fresh clothes if need be, shower rooms and toilets,
A massage of your feet,
Services to charge or repair your phone's,zimmer frames or prams,
Anything for the zuwars,
All in the name of the Ahle bayt,
Mohamed,Ali,Fatema,Hassan and Hussain.
What Hussain and his followers were denied is served with outstretched arms,
The aftermath  of Kerbala was more tragic and callous,
The tears of Binte Zainab that retold the tragedy again and again,
Has born fruits,
The zuwars multiply in numbers
every year,
The rewards greater.

Here I am, leg in plaster

Nurse with a needle, after me

Forgot the brake, can't go faster

Now all I get is woe and misery



CHORUS

I got those wheelchair blues

Suffering those wheelchair blues

Hear my wheelchair blues

I'm singing those wheelchair blues



Rushing to get that elevator again

Going quick and my hands are sore

I'm just too slow, because then

I end up crashing into the closed door



CHORUS

I got those wheelchair blues

Suffering those wheelchair blues

Hear my wheelchair blues

I'm singing those wheelchair blues



Showing off and think I'm clever

Should have taken my painkiller pill

You won't stop and wish I never

My fault for trying to go down hill



CHORUS

I got those wheelchair blues

Suffering those wheelchair blues

Hear my wheelchair blues

I'm singing those wheelchair blues



At last I can get out of the chair

But things will never be the same

Because now it just ain't fair

They've given me a Zimmer Frame



CHORUS

I got those wheelchair blues

Suffering those wheelchair blues

Hear my wheelchair blues

I'm singing those wheelchair blues



I got those wheelchair blues

Suffering those wheelchair blues

Hear my wheelchair blues

I'm singing those wheelchair blues



copyright Chris Smith

remember the melding
of gilmore and bing
the springfield gates
and desmond ring

remember the trojans
and fools in the pack
sea fair jeans
and corkscrew flat

remember the cabin
and *****’s garage
the gary point dunes
and moncton mirage

remember the warehouse
the water logged seats
tin foil caps
and simple retreats

remember the cave
and turn on the cut
emery’s mini
and hamilton’s hut

remember the burger
and shake in the air
bubs in the back
with little despair

remember the valley
and 66 ford
burgundy lips
and samworth’s chord

remember the plainsman
a 7 inch log
the ***** old frenchmen
and bore-*** hog

remember the javelin
and mushay’s wheels
beaumont’s baggie
and jennifer beals

remember tough charlie
tossing brad rand
the belyae roundhouse
and beer in the sand

remember park polo
and scaling of firs
sleeping in rafters
at 8 bucks per

remember the mayflower
and brothers von grant
the max air follies
and chivalrous rant

remember the flipper
the floyd and the clap
banana boat sunday
and pemberton trap

remember the purples
the rasp in the street
the oliver jokers
and shady retreat

remember the gators
and brick house café
a flash in the pan
and crib cult stay

remember the church
and talbs on the bridge
goofy’s memoirs
and cypress ridge

remember smaldino
whom perry cut short
***** and a ****
and moria’s port

remember the zuker
and gilligan’s isle
the pep chew bust
and 8 tooth smile

remember the action
at blundell and one
the nauseous fumes
and pump house run

remember the canyon
and rock on the cliff
a tourniquet bind
that kept us adrift

remember lake skaha
and jvc tunes
the j bain query
and peach fest goons

remember the irons
and broad entry beads
the alexander boys
we must pay heed

remember the gates
the 12 hole stare
the hospital bed
and ky affair

remember the farmhouse
an open air deck
the john deere tractor
and cowboy neck

remember the wheat field
and jimmy crack corn
the burlington plaza
and fraser street ****

remember the pincers
and wee ***** white
the concubine fractures
and strong overbite

remember the carving
portrayed at the scene
the billy goat battles
a young man’s dream

remember lord brezhnev
and moby the ****
the second beach sun
and paper bag trick

remember the screening
the silver light show
banshee boots
and phipps’s throw

remember the epic
and baby oil block
trash can brassieres
and window rock

remember the law
jack rabbit in may
an 8 track mix
on alpine way

remember the dunes
a pig on the spit
the underarm hair
and corn bull-****

remember old frankie
and bursey head post
the koa leaves
and tiki shore host

remember b taupin
the lyrics he left
cold muddy waters
an odd treble clef

remember street regent
the trips in the night
the trailer park cap
and lightheart fight

remember kits causeway
mortimer and beaks
jk's cabin
and muscle bound freaks

remember glen cheesy
and billy the less
the frozen puke patties
and borkum mess

remember the catfish
and pickerel rock
the emerald meadows
and rainbow dock

remember port dover
with fish on a stick
wayne in a bunker
holding his ****

remember the ironside
limes in a tree
the usc campus
came with a fee

remember the duster
an arrow in heart
the frog man bug
that would not start

remember the zimmer
the ram air hood
a family wagon
with panels of wood

remember peace portal
the 33 back
the power built drive
and dangerous tack

remember the reds
the blues and the greens
the furry point island
and country book scene

remember the springs
and i 95
a lone state trooper
with blood in his eye

remember may’s cabin
and stuff in between
the frame and the picture
and morning snow scene

remember the boss
with a 302 scoop
the diamond tuft console
and back seat coupe

remember ioco
the **** and the spit
the skid road race
and hurst floor kit

remember the shore
and tents in the park
a campfire roast
and kerosene bark

remember the hooger’s
kit kat club
the colvin’s and setter’s
a man called bub

remember the creature
with silk strand hair
and afternoon flask
with little despair

remember quilchena
and robbie the mac
the rice stead box
and tap on the back

remember miss williams
a pilgrim’s salute
the fairmont sister
with all of her loot

remember port ludlow
a scotman on dock
the everett street bridge
and single leg sock

remember the masters
and all of the roar
the faldo follies
at norman’s door

remember jeff samson
tied in a tree
the robertson fastback
with white leather seats

remember the balance
and pulling of 4's
the moncton warehouse
and hollywood ******

remember the hospice
with carter in wear
the power of gospel
and magic in prayer

remember the mini
counting the crows
aberdeen villa
where all of it grows

remember the ballroom
the battle of bands
the buccaneer bikers
and front row stands

remember the steely
and 50 odd pulls
the crook in the cranny
and pilsner bulls

remember the mustang
tb paul
the ****** shack sergeant
was missing a ball

remember dear kevin
head first in the pool
a sheik in a minefield
and ****** gas fool

remember the rumble
and bats in the night
an old lady screaming
to a young man’s delight

remember cliff olsen
that sick little ****
who will be in shackles
on lucifer’s truck

remember the bumpers
and cutting in line
the mice on the ****
and bo in the pine

remember the law
stabbing the corn
a bucket of ammo
and mekong horn

remember s boras
the piercing of yes
the color line paper
sikosie at rest

remember the pinto
and seven road plants
mother’s fine pizza
a trial lawyer’s rant

remember the kennedys
with ***** painted black
a pond in the shadows
where monty looked back

remember von husen
the sea to sky test
a farm hands daughter
was one of the best

remember mr pither
and mao sae tung
helena the cougar
and egg foo young

remember the cinder
and frances road bake
***** the whitehead
would make no mistake

remember the quan
and mental mix
the java hut sister
with pixy sticks

remember j rosie
banging his head
in a moment of dr
we thought he was dead

remember the hammer
discussions caught short
siddrich and roger
and monty’s abort

remember 6 nations
and KOA
the pool hall fight
when everyone stayed

remember the skinners
and tommy the med
the lost tough china
and bubs in the shed

remember the doobies
zeppelin and cars
floyd and the *****
and shankar’s sitar

remember old dustys
the blue and red chair
the cypress hill caves
and mullet cut hair

remember the promise
and vows that we made
on the 2 road stairs
in goodman’s brigade

remember those moments
and handle with care
for the garamond stamp
will always be there…

What do you see, people, what do you see?
What are you thinking, when you look at me?
Do you see a grouchy old man, reading my book?
Lonely on the doorstep, drinking my beer.
Is that what you're thinking, is that what you see?
Then open your eyes; you're not looking at me.

I'll tell you who I am as I sit here so still!

At 20 I have wings for feet and fly like a bird
At 30 my dreams of love,
Bound to each other with ties that should last.
At 50 I contemplate the future alone.
At 60 I think of the years, the loves I have known,
A life that passed me by.

What do you see when
I struggle on my zimmer frame
To buy my Bulmers ?
So you see a body broken,
A man of poor character.

Well let me tell you this,
Inside this lumbered body, lives a young mans heart,
And now and again my battered heart swells.
I remember the pleasure and the pain,
I think of the years all too few – gone too fast,
And accept the stark fact that nothing can last.
So open your eyes, people, open and see,
Not a sad old man, LOOK CLOSER, SEE ME
A man of memories and dreams,
A Life story to tell.

Fly so fast the years they do
and my mind is not as once it was,
forgetting things such as dates and names
and going round as though I´m lost,
in every room I stop and wonder
why did I come in here,
what is it, that I´m looking for,
not a clue I fear.

Have you seen my reading glasses
Yes! she says, you´ve got them on your head,
and what about my car keys
I´ve looked everywhere, including in the shed,
and when I bend, why is it
that I always grunt and groan,
and my back today, is not the best of backs
I am so racked with aches and pains.

My eyesight´s not as sharp these days
and my hearing, Sorry, what d´you say,
no longer do I walk upright
and my thinning hair is turning grey,
but although the body´s ageing
and the memory´s fading fast,
my brain still thinks I´m eighteen
and I can do things, as I did in the past.

So I´m off to run a marathon
and the channel I shall swim
and when I get home from clubbing
I´ll be heading for the gym,
I´ve parked my zimmer in the corner
and my pillows I have plumped,
the douvet I have pulled up tight
as I start to snore and dream, and trump.

Figure this may help someone today. One never knows.
Have you ever felt lost
Unsure of where to turn
Wondering which bridge to cross
And which one to burn
Pondering every decision
Like it may be your last
The inner turmoil leaving
All emotions on blast
Becoming our own enemy
We turn them inward
Swallowing it all down
We become quite disturbed
Here comes the doubt
Bringing us to our knees
Begging for someone
to hear our silent pleas
Begging in silence
As we watch the world turn
It is for one person to hear us
Our savior for which we yearn
Yet they never come
We find our own strengths
Realizing nothing more than
ourselves testing us at length
So we stand up and rise above
Ready to fight another day
Ready to cross the bridge
Or burn it either way
That first step we smile
Our journey has begun
To find ourselves in chaos
We will no longer run

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All the world's a *******,
And all the lads and ladettes mere defecators,
Gratifying oozing exits and entrances;
And one man perforce enacts too many roles,
His acts being seven deaths. D'abord, the baby,
******* and ******* on his mummy's frock.
Then, the errant truant with his rucksack
And pock-marked ******'s face, creeping like death
Foul-trouser'dly to school. Next a teenager,
Panting like mad dog, with an oozing pustule
Dripping oe'r his girlfriend's pubics. Then a hoodie,
Full of strange oaths, and dressed up like a freak,
Lacking in honour, decency, and up for aggro,
Seeking the respect of loathsome peers
Even on the street corner. And then the adult
With bulging beer belly, and ample burgers stuff'd,
With eyes dulled by unfulfilled promises,
Mortgaged to the hilt, and indebted to Visa,
And so he wastes his life. The sixth age dawns
Before he knows it, bald futility,
With ****** in pocket, five quid a pill,
His youthful hopes well ****'d, the world too much
For his ignorance, and his vain butch rantings
Reverting soon to teenage curses, coughs
And tobacco'd wheezings. Last we see him,
Ending a pointless and useless existence,
Clutching to his ****-stained Zimmer frame,
Sans teeth, sans eyes, sans taste, sans pension fund.

We like to dance
Feet moving in a trance
Transition to a different stance
All of us jump and prance

We get in a groove
People’s rhythmic motion is smooth
The head banging is proof
Dancer’s enjoying the beat and *****

With Deejay YouTube on rotation
Music revives the good sensation
As boys and girls pair up to charleston
The vibe is lively in Camden

Everyone is revelling
In the style of crip walking
Zimmer frames towards the ceiling
As the old start break dancing

(a poem I wrote for Auntie Annie’s funeral).

Well you’ve all taken your time… while I’ve been waiting here.
I’m about to trip the light fantastic in all this sparkly gear.
And, because the aches and pains have gone, I’m about to strut my stuff.
I’m dressed in Rose Organza with feathers and pink fluff.

I’m surprised at how well I feel settling into this ‘other’ side.
I’m sure I’ll calm down after some frivolity, then take things in my stride.
For now though the spirit is upbeat testing my wings; making appearances near & far.
First though, a dance contest, tonight at Bridlington Spa!

Yes, I’ll be tripping the light fantastic… I’ve two partners in the wings.
Both husbands in smart tuxedos, brushing up their moves and things.
And I’m hoping we’ll cut a dash on that shimmering stairway to heaven…
Well, Wally was probably a six point five. And *** (my first love)… A SEVEN!

But seriously…my body had reached the bitter end and my memory was little better.
Who was who  - and what was what - was touch and go, and… let a
ninety two year old tell you with chair, zimmer frame or stick…
that the thought of stepping comfortably - toward that light… FANTASTIC!

… and even more seriously…

I’ll look out for all you kids… with a word or voice on the wind as it whistles through the trees.
Catch a glimpse in a crowd… “Was that?” NEVER?!. But It might be just my scent on the breeze.
But for us to be in touch again, however brief, we must be ready and enthusiastic.
I’ll prompt you to think of me as I trip toward that light… FANTASTIC!

Ya Know ...  
I Use It Like A Nine To Five ...  
But That's NOT My Line ... !!!  
I Don't Plagiarise ... !!!  

These Words Were Inspired ...  
By .... Inity Fire ....  

Now This Proves I'm NO LIAR ... !!!  
More Like A ... " Good Friar " ...  
Who Uses What's ... DIRE ... !!!!!!  
To ... Elevate hiGHER ...  
  
Just Like ... Frequent Fliers ...  
Use Points To ... " Acquire " ...  
  
Ways To ... Get Around ...  
WITHOUT Using Pounds ... !!!  
  
Now This Piece May Confound ... ?  
Writers ... Who Are Crowned ...  
As The ... " HOTTEST  In Town ... !!!!!!!!!  
Because They Are .... " Proud " ....  
To Use It Like ... " CLOWNS " ... !!!  
  
I Use It Like ... WOW ... !!!  
  
I've Heard It From ... " Crowds " ...  
And Those Who Wear FROWNS ... !!!  
When My Words Hit The Grounds ...  
of Where They ... " Rule The Roost " ...  
of ... Poets Who Use ...  
This Thing Like It's Cool ...  
To Use It Like .... FOOLS .... ?!!!?  
  
They're .....  
CLEARLY NOT SCHOOLED ....  
In Using This Tool ...  
To Share What Is ... TRUE ...  
Within Their ... "Dark Moods" ... !!!
  
I Use It Like Dudes ...  
With Machine Guns To Shoot ... !!!  
  
Firin' SHOTS ... !!!  
Through Wordplay That's HOT ... !!!!  
And ROCKS DIFFERENT Spots ...  
Like .... Dalmatian Dogs .... !!!!! .....  
  
I Use It To Plot ...  
The Downfall of Wrong ... !!!  
  
I Use It To SHOCK ...  
Logically Like ... TUVOK ... !!!  
  
Or Maybe .... Sherlock ... ???  
When Dealing With Cops ...  
******* Like ...  " Lestrade " ... !!!  
  
Who Just AREN'T THAT SHARP ... !!!  
And DON'T Use It With Strength ...  
Cos' That's ... BEYOND Their Depth ...  
  
My Style's ....  
MORE Like ... " Shaft " ...  
AFRICAN ... In My Heart ... !!!!  
  
Who WILL TEAR APART ...  
Those Who Use It Like ... SHARKS ... !!!  
  
Who ... Use It To Write ...  
And Buy Into ... " HYPE " ... !!!  
That They Are GREAT WHITES ... !!!  
  
But As We Now Know ...  
That Story's For SHOW ... !!!  
  
They Use It To Cause ...  
People To ... " Applaud " ...  
As If They Saw ... " JAWS " ...  
  
A GREAT BIG White FRAUD ... !!!!!  
  
I Use It Like BOND ...  
Or Yes ... Roger Moore ... !!!
  
Because I'm The One ...  
Who KEEPS JAWS On The Run ... !!!  
  
So I Use It Like Movies ...  
By .... " Connecting Dots " ....  
  
So Sometimes it's MOODY ...  
And Filled With ..."Dark Blots" ... !!!  
And ... GUY FAWKES Type PLOTS ... !!!!  
  
I BLOW UP ... But Shrewdly ...  
With Wordplay That's ... GROOVY ... !!!  
That ... CALMLY And Smoothly ...  
Tastes Good Like A Smoothie ... !!!  
  
To Those Who Have TASTE ...  
For MORE Than What's ... FAKE ... !!!!!  
  
Lyrics ... That Are Made ...  
To Be ... Thrown In The Waste ...  
Or ... Thrown In The TRASH ... !!!  
  
I DON'T USE IT LIKE THAT ... !!!!!!  
  
I Use It With PACE ... !!!  
And Use It With GRACE ...  
  
And Use It In Ways  ...  
That Puts Most To ... SHAME ... !!!!  
Because Their Game's LAME ...  
And NEEDS ... " Zimmer Frames " ...  
Before ... All It Can Claim ...  
  
Is .... Dumbing Down Brains ... !!!!!  
  
So YES Sometimes I Use It ...  
In Verse That's ... ABUSIVE ... !!!!!  
  
But Only ... In DEFENCE ... !!!  
When People Make THREATS ...  
Or Make Those Attempts ...  
  
To Act As If ... I ...  
DO NOT Use It Right ... ?!?  
  
Is There Such A Thing ...  
As ... " Poetic Bling " ... ?  
  
HELL YES There Are People ...  
Who ... Use It For EGOS .... !!!  
  
Because They Are ... "feeble" ...  
And NOTHING Like VIGGO ... !!!  
  
LEADERS  Or KINGS ... !!!  
Or ... " Lords of Their Rings " ... !!!  
  
I Use It Like FIGHTERS ...  
NOT THESE ... " Nine To Fivers " ...  
Who Are REALLY ... " Part Timers " ...  
Who ... CLAIM To Be Writers ...  
When They Should ... RETIRE ... !!!!!!!!!  
  
So ... Just For The Haters ...  
Beraters' And Slaters' ...  
  
I'll Get To Your Capers ...  
And IGNORANCE ... LATER ... !!!    
  
Who Are They To JUDGE ... ?  
What Man Puts On Paper ... !?!
  
When They're NOT Above ...  
  
"low down " ... ***** Shakers ... !!!  
  
I Use It ... Just FINE ...  
WITHOUT Prose Filled Lines ...  
Cos' It ISN'T A CRIME ...  
To Rhyme ALL The Time ... !!!!  
  
It's ENVY I Find ...  
That DEFINES Their Insights ...  
  
Because ... When They Try ...  
They CAN'T Use It Like MINE ... !!!  
  
REFINED And Inclined  
To Speak About Life ...  
The Strain And The Strife ... !!!  
And YES The ... GOOD TIMES ... !!!
  
But WON'T EVER Contrive ...  
To Use It ... Just For Smiles ...  
  
Or For ...  
It To Be ... LIKED ...    
  
You DON'T Like It ...  
... That's FINE ... !!!  
  
But .....
DON'T Be Surprised ...  
If ... One Day You Find ...  
A Vision or Sight ...  
That Reflects What I Write ...  
  
Cos' I Use It Like Lights ...  
That ... Each Day We Walk By ........  
  
I Use It Like FIGHTS ...  
We See ... TAKING LIVES ... !!!  
  
I Use It Like WARS ...  
BEHIND ... CERTAIN DOORS ... !!!!  
  
I Use It Like ... " LORDS " ...  
Use It On The Poor ... !!!!!  
  
Sometime I Feel Sure ...  
I CAN'T Do ANYMORE ... !!!!!!  
  
But That's When I Find ...  
Energies Close To Mine ...  
Who QUICKLY INSPIRE ...  
  
Like ... " Inity Fire " ...  
  
And On That Last Quote ...  
That's ... ALL That I Wrote ... !!!  
  
It's Really ...  
NO Nine to Five ... !!!  
When I ... Sit And Write ...  
  
It's More Like Something Wise ...  
That Reflects On This Life ...  
  
Through ...  
Good And Bad Times ...  
  
Which I'm ....
Proud To Now Find ...  
  
Is What ...  
  
... " I Use It Like " ...

Die Tuer ist geoeffnet und leer
Im Zimmer liegt Kopf um Kopf
Und Dunkelheit ueberall
Im Tiefsten, am tiefsten
Der Herzschlag, ich
Schlug, der Schlag
Durch die Tuer
Doch die Tuer ist schon geoeffnet
Und leer



[The Open Heart

The door is opened and empty
in the room lies head upon head
and darkness all around
in the deepest, most deeply
the heartbeat, I
beat, the beat
through the door
of course the door is already opened
and empty]

O*ne-thirty in the morning, I'm creeping, ever-so-swiftly, to the entrance to my favorite public sculpture park. I don't like the sculptures, but I like their shadows. There's so much hidden meaning in what you see when you look at a shadow.... Thousands of years ago, the sun was worshiped as a life-giver - the ultimate source of everything man needs to survive: food, water, shelter, companionship.

     Shadows are the only thing that light will never reach.

     I don’t have an MP3 player, but I have music. Tonight, my playlist starts with Yellowcard’s *Lights and Sounds…I sing it lowly to myself as I approach the darkened rebar fence that acts as sentry, guard, arbiter, and jailer to the inanimate zoo they contain. Rebar is always rusty. My hands wrap themselves around two of the bars as I ready myself for the heave overboard.

     I’m over the motor gate, now, and I’m free. The police don’t patrol the park, and there are other cars populating the lot I parked in. Too many people work too late. A girl I know told me that the quality of one’s life is multiplied by two for every three hours of sleep one gets – she told me this at three a.m. after we’d painted the town red. Someone else told me that for every eight hours of sleep one loses in a week subtracts, roughly, a week from one’s life expectancy. If that’s true, and I was supposed to die at seventy, I’ll be dead at sixty. But, honestly? I don’t care how long I live. I’m ready to die now. I mean, I don’t want to die now – it isn’t my preference of events – but, I’m at peace with how I’ve lived my life; so if I do die, I’ll die happy…. What was I talking about? Right, “Too many people…” So, why, if they’re going to die (because even if we distract ourselves, like Mr. Ivan Ilyich, we will die), do they seek these self destructive courses through life? Staying up to finish the quarterly report; dying of hunger to lose some weight; falling asleep at work, and getting assigned more late-night work as punishment; buying things no one will see; dressing up to impress those that don’t matter; dying for that promotion; dying for that car; dying for that girl; dying for that guy….dying.

     I look at my hands as I walk into the shadows of trees and gazebos. Rebar is always rusty…and rust is always red. Now I look as though I’ve killed. My hands are the evidence that I’ve wrung the life out of an innocent metal gate-post. I’d like to plead insanity. I’ll take the ten years in solitary confinement, please.

     I pull a left, then a right, then a left, then a right, then a left, then a right…actually, I’m wandering – no, meandering – through the park, with Hans Zimmer’s Davey Jones Movement roaring in my head; I meander in time with the music. My feet take me to the places I like best. Places where the night looks back at you; where you have to force yourself to set your gaze. Try staring into pitch blackness sometime. It’s not a comfortable feeling. I’ve heard that darkness is where evil resides. I think darkness is misunderstood…like the nature of “evil.” Sit opposite a weird, 20th-century abstract three-dimensional art piece, and stare, hard, into the darkness at its heart. There are stories there. So many unanswered questions can be answered when you ask those things that can’t give you a tangible answer.

     I’ve counseled with the shadows; now for therapy: interpretive dance accompanied by a healthy dose of therapeutic screaming. I sing a lot. You never notice how quietly you have to sing in public until you really need to sing. That’s why there are shadows. They listen very intently, don’t think you’re strange, and soak all pain, pleasure, anger and fear you might sing to release. Something by Vampire Weekend is jamming in my head, and this time, I’m singing along….

     To the shadows.

     Snippets of opera pieces start fluttering through my head. Accompanied by Ugandan chants, and Pawnee ritual songs. And I’m dancing around the shadow of a fire.

     If you never felt pain, how would you know what pleasure felt like? So I celebrate it; by exhaling it in a chorus meant only for the stars, and shadows, and ghosts. I celebrate, dancing in the darkness, waving my arms at the veil of clouds and the stars behind them; I hop to one foot, and wobble in step with the music in my head, and the words on my lips. I hop to the other, and jump at the crescendo of sounds in my mind, those sounds flushing me clean of the hurt, and pain, and grief that plague every creature that may consider why he’s been hurt. In mid flight, I feel the brief weightlessness of flight, hovering in the heavens. Caught between the clouds and the shadows, I close my eyes, and leave my time of arrival a mystery to myself; the last of my cares escapes me, and as I touch the soft, dewed earth, I am delivered.

     Now I can commune, freely, with these dark places. Don’t Let Me Down, by the Stereophonics comes to mind. Have you ever been let down? Of course you have. You are every day. Every hour. I am. Every day, every hour. It’s life. I think we expect too much of ourselves…of others. That animal desire to improve ourselves and our conditions drives us to expect the impossible. And the animal desire to improve our chances of success in life tell us we’ve failed when we, well…fail. The pits of our souls know better, though. They see the whole instead of those precious few real failures. They’re as dark as night, herself. She’s listened to our hearts tear themselves apart. The weight of failure is overwhelming, but the shadows lend shoulders to bear the weight with us…to lighten the load. I’ve told them how it feels to be human, now they show me how it feels to not care.

      “Don’t Let Me Down”, they plead. The bluesy, wailing lyrics fit the moment: all of the emotion of celebration and sorrow wrapped into one tangled poem. My arms climb above my head, wrapping around themselves, snaking through the air, as I dance with the absence of light…as I embrace the objectivity that knows how to evade the sun.

      Wisdom, is wisdom, is wisdom; truth on the lips of the devil is still truth. And I’ve listened.

     Now those great, and wise shadows bear my weight effortlessly, and I can relax. I find myself exhausted, and legs give way to putty; I find myself flat on my back. Now I lie upon the grass, touched by the places where light never will.

      The color black is said to be so because it absorbs all the colors of the spectrum. That it takes, and never gives. Like Salt Lake. It’s said that anything that never gives, dies. Like Salt Lake. But can death die twice? How much more can shadows absorb than colors? What else can shadows absorb? I think black is a wonderful color. Like shadows. And they both give. To give by taking; what a wonderful idea…. They’ve filled a very hard niche to fill in this world.

      My legs and lungs compete in me, burning, exhausted, and happy. I let the veil slip from my face, and the shadows watch me smile; my big, goofy, elated grin thanking them for listening. There’s no fear in my gut, no depression crushing my chest. The doubt and loneliness and helplessness cannot touch me.

     I am the shadow of pain. The shadow of fear. The shadow of the pull and push of life.

     They will never reach me.

     The world would be a better place if we sung to the shadows instead of running from them. You can’t touch one, like you can people; but they can’t hurt you, either – like people can. Someone told me that you can’t depend on people, because they will always let you down. I think I’ll keep trusting, and sing when they do.

Waltzing Matilda
But not so ****** easy
In a Zimmer frame

The waiting room is full of 'dope'
zimmer frames filled with no hope and
I am on the slide.

They lied to me,
the ******* said,
'retirement's good,
and you'll have time to tend the flower bed'
but they never told me,that
arthritis and gout would put me out
to grass,
well
they can kiss my ***.

Haifische schwammen
Schwammen,
schwärmten
In einem Kreis, und gingen
Durcheinander
Wieder und wieder
Und wider meine Angst
Und meinen Willen.

Plötzlich änderte sich alles
Und ich wusste gar nicht mehr
Wo ich stand.
In Wirklichkeit saß ich,
glitt, trieb ich in der Luft oder
zwischen den Etagen.
In dem Boden bewegte
Mein Körper sich.

Du warst nicht da,
aber sie.
Sie manifestierte sich
Im Zimmer vor mir.
Ihr Geist tanzte
Und füllte mich,
Körperlich
Ein.

So schnelle wie
Sie kam, war sie
Wieder auf Einmal
Weg.
Sie fiel weg.
Ich existierte
Und zitierte
Im Dunkeln.

Er machte die Lichter,
die Sonne,
aus
und die Geister,
ihrer,
kamen und
uns fehlten
Die Worte.

Ich kann es nicht
Beschreiben, aber
Ich verlief mich und
Befand mich in einer
Neuen Welt
Füllend und überlaufend
mit ihrer
Stimme.

It's about anatomy.

You might think,
  
An atom, me?

But that's not what I said.

Astronomy is nothing to do with food
nor gastronomy
stars.

We have. sat together in too many taverns and isms to get tangled up in the anatomical caves and the caverns within 'em.

At sixteen I was rampant and now I'm almost dormant.

A Zimmer frame by any other name
is as heaven knows not only not a rose it's not a babe magnet either.

I am driven by demons that hole up inside me, the joke that they see is me, but there are saints sent to guide me
while the Vatican city sleeps.