Im officially depressed
That's what the doctor said
And as I write this
I don't really try for it to be art
I just want someone to know
I feel alone
Nobofy is there and I wish somebody is
This depression
since iv known
Is as clear as anything ever had been
I can see the radical mood changes in myself
the bitchiness
Everything but as I see these things they dim out other yhings
Please this is me asking yiu to help
Its selfish needy and desperate but can someone please make this better
Its not like I did something
Or is it
But as I said
I want you
Whoever you are
To help me coz god knows for once in my forsaken life I deserve it

Yo i know this track was already blessed
So i guess i sit back n roll aome sess
My life is always revolving solving
Problems of the worlds nobodies involved in
And nobody gives a **** only after the buck
Some do gun play but most of my homes stay
Pimpin' the pen my skin is my sin
Will the Heavens let me in??
Its ****** everywhere i go
Fools even gettin' killed at funerals
No shame in the game humans huntin humans but all in the same gang
Naw we divided by race look me in my face
They want us to go after the paper chase
So they can cover of the murders
Of there **** ups blame minorities
Then we summoned by the authority
**** authority  i clame royalty
My ancestors died on this blood soil for free
So how are we free? When tell us from the jump street we enticed to the penitentiary?
Education is a joke occupations goin up in smoke
Feel the vapors compensations fadin'
Wake up youngin' and start obeyin'
Ya instinct dont act like ya **** dont stink
In all house nigguhs **** a **** *****
Homeboy this aint childs play
This life n death so listen to what i say
They murdered many with the injections
Because elite society a growin' infections
They murdered Eazy Janis Hendrix Malcolm King Nat Turner and Amy and many?
So yea you can blame the
Music industry music is revolution the only solution
Is to invoke pollution gun shots silent provoke violence
Shake up the white house now its deaths appliance
Defiance
I am cuz im a man not boy so **** being coy
If they really wanna end you they put you
On a ******' tube to show
That they murdered yiu in cold blood
And not even cry sit on the chair interview spreading a lie
Know this the eye sees the mind believes
Break that mentality before you recieve
The mark of the beast three slashes on ya *****
Turn the degrees
Up six hundred and sixty six **** dollara n sense
Wake up or get caked up because if you get to close to light ya might die of ****** ******




Now im stretching the heat
Of beef
So if ya hungry you can eat uh
I stand on my feet
After beat downs of the punk police
This aint a tale this is a saga
Spittin' lava from my saliva
And if you mad get yo steel
And if you happy go pop a pill
Cuz the **** i speak make the pigs squeal
Runnin' to corners like mice
Cuz they know im so real **** mass appeal
You can cash out on death
And take a deep breath
Cuz its hard to inhale all this ******* it aint hard ti tell
Open yo head or let the ghost out the shell
Earths is Hell cant find a bail
Enticed to famine disease illness
Id rather die young like Black Jesus
Yo religion dont please us
So tell Jessie n Sharpton
To get back on the bus
Cant trust
These hyprocrites suckin' white supremacy ****
So wipe ya mouth N double A CP
Cuz i aint down with O P P
They steady watchin' but im watchin' them
Just ask my homie Tim
OLSAN BETTER KNOWN AS BIN LADEN
that nigguh aint dead he just bin hidin'
In government custody
Remember how they did Toby?
Show that you real
And watch how fast you end up behind bars of steel???
So you can say im a pessimist
Naw this is just a  genesis the realist
To ever spin off a instrumental
**** a sentimental im official
Like Jude break the law always entice the blood
Hold up this aint a gimmick
Killin' all the mimics its murderrrr


I sit in awe as I watch you work,
Hands so perfect
That no matter how hard I try,
I cannot capture the beauty and strength they hold.
As each muscle is pulled
As your fingers work
Creating yet another master piece.
Long fingers that create,
Each rounded tip,
as they dip
into the bucket of water next to yiu,
Like a calcuated dance
They move with grace
My creator
Hands that words cannot begin to descibe
With all the correct adjectives
To give a clear picture
of beauty untold.

Drive angry?
I will.
I finally understand screamo music,
I have all of these emotion draining out of me,
and I have issues that nobody understands.
"he's a ******?"
You never complained as much as me?
You need a ****** reality check sister.
Your now husband, you were going to leave him
but then he popped the question.
You can blame my issues on anything yiu want.
Some blame it on the church,
some blame it on my work,
some blame it on my sister,
my parents or my boyfriend.
Or people could just realize I got myself
here in this drepressing pit.
So keep blamin what you want
Someday you'll be here,
in my shoes.
And you'll realize what its like
having no one to blame but yourself.

im drunkj
i cant reaalys type well
i ******* thew up
all over the love of my lifes bathroom
i ******* hate her
i ******* hate living life like this
day to day
living on the glances you give me
i hate yiu so ******* much
i hate that you dressed up for tonight
i hate how im not good enough for you
i hate everything about you
oh god i need to make it up to you
i need you to know i hate and love you
i said it
i love you
becuase to me
you represent a way to being normal
i hate how you make me feel
i hate how im drunk
i hate how i onky drank to confess to you
but then i threw up
and now im sire everyone will hate me
im not sure if ill fix the spelling mistakes in this
*******
i need to sleep
i need to breath
i need water
i love you
i hate you
its always a sip away

Work at it.
Be true to it.
And you will achieve it.
The condition of happiness.

It's in yiu.
It is you.
The condition of happiness.

Our state of well being and contentment is within our heart.
The pleasure of joy we seek.
Is within our minds.

Don't pretend
Keep it true.
And the condition of happiness will come to you.

A positive mind will always outshine a negative mood.
It's in you.
It is you.
This condition of happiness and joy.
Work at it.
Be true to it.
And you will achieve it.

Today was one of those days
Where nothing goes wrong
But still life has its ways
Where it all feels too long

Nothing really happened
The world didn't end
But still you feel a rend
It's like your hearts a little bent

For no particular reason
Yiu just keep failing
Its not simply a season
And for an instant you think about bailing

But you keep on pushing
And you just have to trust
Its like your on a wing
And suddenly you see rust
And your heart leaps
But deep inside
Your heart still beats
Because you see the wing is wide
And you know you can trust
In the pikot of the plane
And though occasionally
Your faith will wain
The pilots is better than Sully
So you keep your head up
And thank your lucky stars
That your above all these cars
That you can see the world
And so you breathe and look out
And you smile and lose your doubt
Because you put your faith
Not in the plane
But in the one who flies it.

Im sorry you unknowingly traded in your heaven for a cheap moscato,
Im sorry I don't give you the adoration you so rightly deserve and need,
But lately how little progress I've made scares me to the point where I cant sleep,
And it finally scared me to the point of progression,
I can feel my mind unfurling as I write like a budded up flower or a balled up fist but the point is  im over all the ******* at this point, im about to start devoting time to something and I don't want you to leave but if you feel like you have to then ill be ok, if a better offer arises and yiu feel like you should take it please do,
I can feel the winds of change beginning to stir in the cosmos,
The time to come will be one of growth, struggle and work but I cant let myself say that and do nothing
I can't sleep and this doesn't help anymore.

You keep up the work, baby.
You're a real crowed pleaser.
Bite that toung, not that food.
And you can finally see it.
That face is thinner,
Those fingers overlap more.

You're on the right track, girl.
You a bad baby with a whirlwind storm.
Two years top,
Buy that couch.
Find that stranger and make it obvious.

A colorful accent,
Rosy cheeks,
Lopsided smile.

Let him feel those hipbones, sweet thang.
Do some ******* or ecstasy on that bone,
His choice because it is.

Bounce and you grind it, baby girl.
**** that neck and watch the sun rise.
Tell him. Demand him to listen.

"You see, I was never enough.
Never for the flash of cameras,
The holy trinity of delusion,
The fear of opening up.
I was a child, working for some kind of love."

And you smile because he's about to ******.

"Life is about compromising for the one you love."

You hop off, yiu throw him to the gravel.
Dump that lighter fluid, sweet child.
You use your last bit of strength to lift it up.
Toss that **** over the cliff.
Flick the match to follow.

And you look up.
The sun is up.
The wetness on your face dries.

Fold up the childish things,
Compromise with the ones you love.

One of these days,
You'll be good enough to be engaged too.

I will never be good enough for you
And I don't need to
I'm like Picasso abused
Like a genius misunderstood
And thrown away in a garbage can
Your trash is my treasure

But I'm better that
I'm more than you think
You raised your concerns
About me, your insecurities,
Projected onto me
I will never be what you desire
I will never become what you are
I am my own, I am my self
A very product of my own creation
Brought into existence by the big bang of my first breath
And sustained by the air of my world
Continuing because of me

I hear the words I need to and the rest is *******
I walk the road I paved it all on my own
Its me, why would I ever adhere to be what you think I am
I am nothing of what you percieve
You do not know me
You have an alien in your mind that You think is me
I'm am not what you think because it
Makes it easy for you to control
By believing this image
You projected
Its not me
It is never me

No you cannot take that away from me
My identity belongs in my hands and my mind
My history that I write
On these scribbled pages
These papers, in my book
I made me
It is a beautiful masterpiece that many have applauded

You are not an artisan
You are not the greatest
You know nothing of what it means to suffer as an artist

I am the perfect living thing,
The being of poetic prowess,
The writer of spectular stories,
I am the musician of intrigue,
I am the philosopher of ages,
I am underrated
You are so overrated
You are nothing
You have painted the illusion of your own ego
Forcefed me these lies until I believed them
No!
Not now, not anymore
I am my maker.
I am God.
I know myself

And you do not see me for who I really am
You see what your eyes want you to see
And its a farce, its a joke,
I have done things you could never dream of doing
My whole life is an achievement
That needs to be analysed by world class historian
And journalists and film makers will make documentaries about me
Trust me, you think I am weak
But I am so strong
Stronger than you could ever imsgine

I can move mountains, and break boulders, and pour rain from clouds, I can spread the sun out in the sky

You will never destroy me
With your paranoia
Your crucifix
I'll take it down
Throw it away
In the rubble of dirt
Buried beneath the ground
You are the idol I worshipped that punished me

No longer
I will stand on my two feet
As I always have
As I always will
You can laugh at Gloria Gaynor
Like yiu laugh at everything with your cynical drawl
But she was right
I will survive
I will make it the top

I will not let these projections become me,
They are yours.
Push them through the window
And bounce them off the walls
They are not mine, your thoughts do not belong to me
Get away from me
I've surpassed your monstruous ideology.
You are the foreigner stealing my thoughts
I run, I stand, I climb.
I exist.
I move forward.
I am better than this.

Can I stop your reading of poems for a moment?
It will just take one second I promise
I just wanted to let you know how proud I am of you

You may be thinking how I do not know you
But if you’re reading this
That must mean you’re still alive
And that is more difficult than it seems

I want to let you know
That you’re loved

And yiu may be thinking about how I have no idea
But I do
Because I love you

And I just wanted to remind you
That it wasn’t your fault
It wasn’t your fault
You did your best, dear

It wasn’t your fault

I just want to tell you that the sun was proud of you this morning
Because you got up
The moon was proud because you made it one more day
And your body was proud because yiu kept letting it store you soul for one more sunset

As you close your eyes
And slow your breathing
I long to finally be let free
More and more

I am desperate
I just want to sing and to scream
To escape the pressure
And to be something other than a darkness following you around constantly

Finally, you are taken over by sleep
And I am released
I can do anything
But as soon as I leave
I hear your silent screams

“Help me!” You try
Eyes closed
Heart open and out on your sleeve
Helpless
In danger
Without my protection

I don’t get very far
Only have a few seconds of being separate
Being myself
And just myself
But soon enough
You need me
And I can’t ignore your plea

So instead of roaming and screaming and exploring the world
I cover you
Everywhere
And keep the monsters away
All night

Yiu never know I’m there
Or appreciate me
I am your shadow
Just darkness in light
Just a blank figure of you

I just want to be me
Even if it’s just while your asleep

I wish i could dive forever into you
Never looked more peaceful than in the dark
But,
Disaster arent any less for volcano or You..,
from gently drizzling to the thunder lightnings and strong winds..
Then
Why bursting of you and mine
Are considered different by the human.
Because im a human?
Not a phenomenon..
I was as you
Breakout filled with endurance
But gaslighted to the floor thru their hearts
Referring my eruption as
Bizarre ugly bloodstained thing
As too odd
To call it a beauty
They called you as a vulnerable art,
Different from me.
I wanted to be the dark in front of you
And i wanted to show them the raw parts
Where pain can be exposed,
A place to be messy,
I wanted to be painfully real
And to reveal my truest form
My mind is a chaotic storm
Tht yiu'll never get to know
But as a part of this world
They were too focused on being perfect
I wish i could be where you are,..
Maybe they wont change their choice
And will always lie in your lap
Than someone like me.
Im completely yours
Do you think we could burst like this unapologetically for a time?
If i could refuse to all the chaos..
A voice turned up me..
The incidents of disasters and broken cryings
Of what you've endure
Is what made you mine
Unlike them
Gripped in happiness of me errupting out.
Poor souls dont see it other way
While i lay here
Tears felt like piles of bricks upon the eyelids
How does it feel rain to be a broken art, rather than being called a mess!
And the Silence never looked so silent

Rules are meant to be adapted and broken
Pain leaves scars and you must find a way to heal even though that is insurmountable at times
This is a challenging and heart breaking time when people are killed because of their beliefs and lifestyle
Instead of hiding under a rock or waging a war
Learning  from History and not allowing it to repeat itself would be a start
Neat trick if you can accomplish it
We can forgive but never forget
Reading books would be a start
Keep learning because nobody knows it all
Protecting your heart and nurturing your mind requires yiu to tune in and tune out
Sometimes I wonder what direction we will go in if we just allow the status quo to continue?
My guess is that we will be better than we thought possible
Just remember that nobody is above the law even in the court of public opinion

C@rainbowchaser2023

C'mon admit it ......
Submission........
Can be easy ....or impossible
To give.....
That is a given .....
To recieve .......
Wooow that's a whole different thing.....
Especially for lover.......
It can torture.......
Never knowing it's fruition....
Because in you mind ...
It's not called submission
It's called love.
Even if the other expects it .....
You know that it is not right
If it's a demand .......
And you knowing
Think it's benevolent of you to
Continue in hopes that someday they may see the hell they put yiu through .....
And you stayed anyway .... .
Then they will be so indebted....
This is a spell
This  will not  end well for you....
I need you to know that you
Are worthy of praise ....
I see the pain you go through
......unfortunately.
They never will ....
You will be left with pain
And blame.
And blamed ....
Insane
You know it
Admit it
Love you're self ...
Don't play that game.
Please!

coloring in lines that didn’t exist
you and me were just crazy kids with crazy hormones
or thats what our health teacher would say right?
blueberry breath after kissing you
i don’t care for blueberries
but I’ll eat them with chocolate humus
who knew that’s all I needed to understand
you love me for who you think I am
which is who I’m not
but your glasses are smudged
I know it’s my fingerprints
But still
Glasses cleaner exists
Even though you don’t have the money right?
you only have loose change
that’s more then enough to see me clearly
yiu just don’t want to lose your pennies
Well guess what
I don’t want to be around you when you have them

Hey !
  freeze you off your subway tracks
Just To work this stinkin' patch
 dance into the arrests
Like you ain't never seen
  That craziness wipes you off your feet.

My Twins will take care to call
  we're sick of the suffering
what'd ya think is nothing
  might be something after all.

This transfer ends the cold is dead ahead
  folks play for keeps when
the living dead come to volume
  for some new kicks like yiu

This One's fame is sick enough
  to make a kind man steam
and turn pop from someday
   into somebody just to say
What you mean you say.