Unavailability poems on Hello Poetry

Nicole Dec 2018

I feel so torn
I love them a lot
Except I feel like
I can't love them as freely as I want to
Because they remind me of an ex
I want so desperately to let go of
I want to move on with my life
And to love them entirely for them
Without the ripples of her
Skating across my perception
I feel trapped in my mind sometimes
Living through past memories
That only make me feel sadness now
And I wonder if that closure I seek
Can occur if I can forgive myself
For hurting her so much
How can I take responsibility and
Embrace my faults and mistakes
While also forgiving myself for them?
Forgive myself for hurting her?
Especially after realizing that
My emotional unavailability caused it
And I understand that I must remain compassionate
And I must accept the things I cannot change
It's just hard not to shame myself
When the blame fits so perfectly
In the palms of my hands

#realization #love #ex #future #connection #forgiveness #struggle #depression #relationships

Justyn Huang Oct 2018

Male Apologies

I am sorry for the:

Unsolicited **** pics
Request for nudes
Catcalling
Inappropriate or creepy comments
Failing to listen
Acting without asking
Emotional manipulation
Emotional unavailability
Approaching you to practice game
Shaming your sexuality
Meanwhile glorifying my own.
Laws governing your body
Calling you beautiful before
Brilliant
Speaking over/behind/beneath you
Lust in my eyes

#metoo #believesurvivors #****** #assault #sorry #apologies

Yenson Feb 2019

Check-MateProtocols

MEMO

FROM:  Mr Phil Indifrence,  Strategy Chess Insurgency  Corps.
Space Headquarters, Castleview Avenue, Dunstable XY10

TO:  Ms Petal  Dontrun,  Crimson Chess Federation.
De la Wigan Headquarters, Wigan, United Kingdom,  SM00

Dear Ms Dontrun,

Please accept my greetings. I write to clarify my stance on our
outstanding matters and hopefully to deter further speculation,
gossips, rumours, distortions, misinformation and sensationalism by the media.

As you are aware I contacted you on the day as arranged only to
be confronted with a response that was astoundingly unethical, un-
professional, rude, inconsiderate and totally uncalled-for. It was
so below expected standard that it raised doubt about your suit-
ability to be seen as a matured adult much less an intelligent being.

Still in the reverberations of this seismic occurrence I called again in
the hope it was a momentary loss of composure and yet again I was
subjected to a deluxe version of the first onslaught. To say I was
flabbergasted is putting things mildly, most especially as it was
totally unwarranted and underserved. It was obvious you lacked
any sense of decorum and had become an affront to common human decency and an embarrassment to your status.

In all fairness you did call some weeks later, but it had become
apparent that the ethos, protocol and cordiality that my Organi-
sation works within may not be relevant to your Organisation,
hence my unavailability to your contact.

I write to primarily reiterate that my position on this matter and
the present status quo is not based on some immature Ego play,
stubbornness, power-play or pride, rather it's in all truthfulness it's a belief in upholding standards in ethical considerations. I do not believe that bad manners, ill-considered behaviour, ill-judgement and a lack of sensitivity and good grace are matured and progressive trends to interact cooperatively within.

In conclusion, this is my stance on this matter and I hope it helps
your understanding. I believe a formal Apology from you and your
Organisation is appropriate in this regard and will instigate a
return to cordiality between our Organisation.

If you however feel this is unnecessary I will respect your decision
and the situation will remain unresolved.

I thank you for your attention.

Regards,

Phil Indifrence. C.E.O.

Azaria Apr 2019

new wave

milo and quantum physics
but yet there is no equation
for your emotional unavailability
y equaling the x factor of vulnerability
i’ve always hated the duality of
math
all the silent rules to remember
i just want to be loved the way that
i love
without so many computations
how do i know if silence + comfort equals
pleasure or complacency?
a limit on the questions i can ask in a day
i just want to know everything
do you like the way i **** on your *******?
am i ever going to meet your family?
are you going to love me forever?
2 standard deviations of what you mean
when you say what you do
am i enough for you and i just don’t
know it yet?
basic math skills at a deficit
am i unable to put 2 and 2 together
are there limits to us
or do they not exist?

Azaria Jul 2017

jon

i'm verdant
in the summertime
my emotional
unavailability
coated in a certain
warmness
my milk and honey
body in
full bloom
peel open
your dominican
republican
arms
that
flourish inside
me and make
each yellow
breath
feel like new
life

on the lonely road where happiness needs us.

C F Feb 2020

I wish I met you first.

It's funny.
I was born
Within a loving family

Only child
Learned to be alone.
But, there was nothing wrong.
I had a guardian dog and doting parents
Despite their unavailability.

I hit high school
First boyfriend.
He took something that I can't regain.
So, I learned to carry on.

I just wish I'd met you first.

From the age of 14
I learned to bury my hurt
To bury my anger
To bury my shrinking heart.

I just wish I'd met you first.

I hit college
Things are looking up
I'm 20 something now and my past
Is far behind me

But, wouldn't you know it
Some self-indulgent prepubesent boy
Has made me his home.

I buried it too.

I just wish I'd met you first.

I buried my indignation
I buried my rage
I buried my hatred of the human race.

I just wish I'd met you first.

But then I met you,
You were funny,
And sweet,
And you could keep up with me.

Then we got closer.
And closer.
I realised that not all men are evil pigs.
I wished I met you first.

You brought out my best,
You gave me smiles and laughter,
You taught me to be free.

But.
My freedom comes with a cost.
I should have known.
14 years of shoving my feelings and abuse,
It left me angry.

Angry enough that I could scream
Scream so loud that all who could hear me
Their ear drums would burst

So they could feel my pain
My violations
My innocence ripped away

So they could feel how I feel
I can't be silent anymore
And I know I'm prone to bouts of violence.

I do apologise,
I know it's scary.
To go from soft and patient

To deadly and searing.
With the glint of something
Sharp and metal
In my peripheral.

I know in my heart that
You're good and kind.
That you'd die before you hurt me.
So I apologise for troubling you.

But, at the same time I don't.
Hear my war-cry,
Understand I will take your blood
Before someone else takes mine.

#**** #abuse #depression #anger #retribution

RT Naintial 7d

Why?

i have been caged up for so long that i no longer feel the rust itch upon my skin,
how the harsh sun melts my fellow mate bones.
Every now and then there's a meal.
A meal so fantastic for cover up that even i believe it.
4,203 meals yet none of it tastes as delicious as meal of denial.
Hard to come by,
get past and stroll upon so i eat it.
Day by day till starvation meets my face
as every meal was just anger,
desperation,
ignorance,
emotional unavailability,
selfishness
as meal is not made of food.
It was never made of food.
“Everybody paints me the villain!” He cries.
There's no paint left over to cry in canvas.
“Nobody understand me!” he pleads and goes away
It's been 627 days since his death,
He reeks.

#poems #foryou #daddyissues #desperation #death

Alec Aug 2017

Mourning a Lost Life

The eyes are the window to the soul
Showing the emotions you can not explain, but still know.
Trying to decipher what it is that you see in those eyes
You could pretend not to care but those emotions are not just small lies.

The look was not expected but the tragedy was.
This was not what nature does
Matted fur and broken bones
Is their owner waiting for them to come home?
Lying on the side of the road all day
While the heat turned up and the sun slaved away
Open mouth, and god the eyes

The car must've come as a surprise. . .
Did they stop for even a second?
Was there any remorse? Did they even regret it?!
Did they look in their eyes . . . like I did.
Even hours after life was ripped from their body
The eyes were not empty and dead, but full of fright, aware of the unavailability to flee.
As if the soul was trapped, in shock and denial of the sudden tragedy.

Did I see the stars in their eyes?
The kind where you look up and question What, Why, When and Who you are?
Where you have your mid-life crisis in your teens.

Those eyes.
That soul.
I could feel the pain they felt, and the tragedy that they saw
But could not stop out of shock,
Were they expected to just put up a paw?
How is that not against the law.
Don't tell me that it's fair
Don't tell me that it's "just an animal"

You! look into it's eyes full of anguish and despair.
You! stare into the soul that is not yet aware.
You! see it's broken huddled mass of fur and bones and emotions unknown
And then try to tell me that it's fair.

Someone loved it, someone cared for it
How long with they be waiting for their buddy to come home?
How long before they lose all hope, not knowing who to phone.
You go tell them "it's just an animal"
Listen to what they have to say, then tell me you feel null.

You look into the owners eyes
And stare into their soul
And you will find the same despair you found in the eyes of that "just an animal"

I was in the car on my way to go do something when someone told me that one of the neighborhood cats had died and was lying on the side of the road. I was upset at first yes but then I actually saw the cat lying there as I went by. I looked and I saw the eyes and for a second I asked if it was really gone yet. I was in shock and I just started crying and then I wrote this.

#pets #animals #pet #depression #grief #death #mourning #friend

Yenson May 2019

I am a man of my words.........

Check-MateProtocols
MEMO

FROM:  Mr Phil Indifrence,  Strategy Chess Insurgency  Corps.
Space Headquarters, Castleview Avenue, Dunstable XY10

TO:  Ms Petal  Dontrun,  Crimson Chess Federation.
De la Wigan Headquarters, Wigan, United Kingdom,  SM00

Dear Ms Dontrun,

Please accept my greetings. I write to clarify my stance on our
outstanding matters and hopefully to deter further speculation,
gossips, rumors, distortions, misinformation and sensationalism by the media.

As you are aware I contacted you on the day as arranged only to
be confronted with a response that was astoundingly unethical, un-
professional, rude, inconsiderate and totally uncalled-for. It was
so below expected standard that it raised doubt about your suit-
ability to be seen as a matured adult much less an intelligent being.

Still in the reverberations of this seismic occurrence I called again in
the hope it was a momentary loss of composure and yet again I was
subjected to a deluxe version of the first onslaught. To say I was
flabbergasted is putting things mildly, most especially as it was
totally unwarranted and underserved. It was obvious you lacked
any sense of decorum and had become an affront to common human decency and an embarrassment to your status.

In all fairness you did call some weeks later, but it had become
apparent that the ethos, protocol and cordiality that my Organi-
sation works within may not be relevant to your Organisation,
hence my unavailability to your contact.

I write to primarily reiterate that my position on this matter and
the present status quo is not based on some immature Ego play,
stubbornness, power-play or pride, rather it's in all truthfulness it's a belief in upholding standards in ethical considerations. I do not believe that bad manners, ill-considered behaviour, ill-judgement and a lack of sensitivity and good grace are matured and progressive trends to interact cooperatively within.

In conclusion, this is my stance on this matter and I hope it helps
your understanding. I believe a formal Apology from you and your
Organisation is appropriate in this regard and will instigate a
return to cordiality between our Organisation.

If you however feel this is unnecessary I will respect your decision
and the situation will remain unresolved.

I thank you for your attention.

Regards,

Phil Indifrence. C.E.O.

Yenson Sep 2019

Face facts, get real.....Reminder

Check-MateProtocols
MEMO

FROM:  Mr Phil Indifrence,  Strategy Chess Insurgency  Corps.
Space Headquarters, Castleview Avenue, Dunstable XY10

TO:  Ms Petal  Dontrun,  Crimson Chess Federation.
De la Wigan Headquarters, Wigan, United Kingdom,  SM00

Dear Ms Dontrun,

Please accept my greetings. I write to clarify my stance on our
outstanding matters and hopefully to deter further speculation,
gossips, rumors, distortions, misinformation and sensationalism by the media.

As you are aware I contacted you on the day as arranged only to
be confronted with a response that was astoundingly unethical, un-
professional, rude, inconsiderate and totally uncalled-for. It was
so below expected standard that it raised doubt about your suit-
ability to be seen as a matured adult much less an intelligent being.

Still in the reverberations of this seismic occurrence I called again in
the hope it was a momentary loss of composure and yet again I was
subjected to a deluxe version of the first onslaught. To say I was
flabbergasted is putting things mildly, most especially as it was
totally unwarranted and underserved. It was obvious you lacked
any sense of decorum and had become an affront to common human decency and an embarrassment to your status.

In all fairness you did call some weeks later, but it had become
apparent that the ethos, protocol and cordiality that my Organi-
sation works within may not be relevant to your Organisation,
hence my unavailability to your contact.

I write to primarily reiterate that my position on this matter and
the present status quo is not based on some immature Ego play,
stubbornness, power-play or pride, rather it's in all truthfulness it's a belief in upholding standards in ethical considerations. I do not believe that bad manners, ill-considered behaviour, ill-judgement and a lack of sensitivity and good grace are matured and progressive trends to interact cooperatively within.

In conclusion, this is my stance on this matter and I hope it helps
your understanding. I believe a formal Apology from you and your
Organisation is appropriate in this regard and will instigate a
return to cordiality between our Organisation.

If you however feel this is unnecessary I will respect your decision
and the situation will remain unresolved.

I thank you for your attention.

Regards,

Phil Indifrence. C.E.O.

Carson Apr 2021

Lyrical Child Begging 4 Freedom

A dream conceptualized,
Awaken by Multiple instrument,
Which will uplift hearts n minds,
Lies distances away from finger touch,
A reality of youth,
Heart n Soul adores n loves so much,
Lies in Cant Have cauldrons,
Is A lyrical child begging 4 freedom,
4 D opportunity to create n implant permanent staining smiles,
Into a child or teens hearts n minds,
Alas without loads of green at my disposal,
Lies the unavailability of A Greens chest cauldrom,
Lies
A
Lyrical Child begging 4 freedom,
To Express lyrical tunes,
Carry voices 2 high altitudes,
Splitting D skies,
Unified in praise 2 Higher Highs,
Till Loads of Greens fill a chest cauldron,
Just A Lyrical Child begging 4 freedom!

John Edward Smallshaw Oct 2019

Life in the slow train

Part suspended?
they should be,

due to
the unavailability of
trains
this service will terminate
at Waterloo!

Did someone borrow the
rolling stock and forget to
return it?

They say
that any start is a good start
perhaps.
that's true,
but
if this is starting as they mean
to go on
I'm getting off.

John Edward Smallshaw Oct 2019

Life in the slow train

Part suspended?
they should be,

due to
the unavailability of
trains
this service will terminate
at Waterloo!

Did someone borrow the
rolling stock and forget to
return it?

They say
that any start is a good start
perhaps.
that's true,
but
if this is starting as they mean
to go on
I'm getting off.

Eva Encarnacion Sep 2024

Inextricably

feels impossible to separate the old me from the healed me
and equally so to disentangle the imprints of you from her
and if she is me, and i am she, then you will forever be ******* in we
and i'm not entirely sure that isn't what i want
the aches of caring soothe the sores your unavailability brought
and i can see the growth but can't let us go
cause there's always new lessons to be taught
so we coexist, and it tests my wits
—least our tangles are becoming less fraught

2024 April PAD Challenge Day 2: write a happy and/or sad poem

— The End —