Someone said my monkey's dead,
But confusion hit their head,
Made them think that this is true,
I'm in a funk, what can I do?

Then they soon told my neighbors, yes,
Put my monkey to the test,
Called the papers just long enough to say,
Yes, my monkey ran away.

I searched high, and I searched low,
Dropped a rock upon my toe,
Hit my head on a doorway hard,
Couldn't find my monkey in the yard.

Traveled to the mountains nearby,
Looking for monkey made me cry,
Saw the clouds come floating by,
A speck of dirt flew in my eye.

Checked the traveling circus troup,
For details on missing monkey scoup,
Learned that he had traveled through,
What am I supposed to do?

Boarded a boat set for the Indian Ocean,
Got sea sick from the crazy motion,
Tried to eat, but it all came up,
Couldn't drink the swirl in my cup.

Once in Africa, deep in the jungle,
Searched for monkey and took a tumble,
Found a panther hiding in the bush,
Felt flat hard upon my ****.

So, no monkey, not anywhere,
Does the world so truly care?
Waited patiently in a Star Bucks shop,
In came monkey and my coffee I dropped.

Called him by his first name, Charles,
Saw him stare and then he snarled,
Ran so fast for the door, he did,
What a silly and audacious kid.

Ran pursuit down a cobbled stone road,
Saw my monkey drop his precious load,
Screamed at him to stop and say,
Where he goes on this very day.

When my breath was heavily panting,
Stopped my call and my ranting,
Figured if he so desperately was going,
No more to care and no more knowing.

Monkey, monkey where are you?
Are you hiding in the zoo?
Will you ever be around?
You're a silly, slippery clown.

Pathological neurotic co-dependency,
Rhymes with toilet brush gastroendoscopy,
I visualise that toilet brush,
Shoved down his throat thrush,
Or up his male ****,
Not even an excuse for a man,
Bullies don't get, says my nan,
Way too early to be awake,
Way too early to cook him steak,
What does he think he's going to eat?
That toilet brush he'll meet and greet,
Pathological neurotic co-dependency,
Rhymes with toilet brush gastroendoscopy,
All budget friendly and medicine free,
(Guess who swallowed the dictionary!!!!)

I am not who you see,
I am me
The Clumsy, dorky, sometimes ******
The one who will try to make you feel
When you cannot feel anymore,
The one that will stand up for you,
When you are limp, on the floor.
The person that will make sure,
Your information is correct.
Sometimes to be a pain in the ****.
The one who will cook, but only if its
For her and another, or more.
But never for herself.
The one that tries to give the best advice,
But never asks for them to listen.
Sometimes she thinks she is male,
For always wanting to be right.
But at the same time, she is female.
Whiny, crabby, always up in your face.
She is indecisive, she doesn’t know half of the time.
Her name is Chelsea.
She is pretty cool.

Best Week Ever

Just had my best week of all time,
I'm 42 but still in my prime.
Spent some time with Brittany Spears,
I left her begging and in tears.
After a night with Beyonce,
she wanted me to be her fiance.
Just one night with Pink,
now she can't even blink.
Had a date with Katy Perry,
she asked me to pop her cherry.
Spent some time with J-Lo,
she was more sloppy than a joe.
Rihanna likes to play rough,
**** she looks good in the buff.
Me and Fergie ate some black eyed peas,
then we were joined by Alicia keys.
Had a blast with Taylor Swift,
we did it on a ski lift.
Avril Lavinge wanted it never to end,
now she wants to be her boyfriend.
I turned Miley Cyrus back into Hannah Montana,
its a secret what we did with a banana.
Me and Kesha sang her hit Tik Tok,
then she ****** on my clock.
Selena Gomez is a witch no more,
I turned her into my little *****.
Carrie Underwood won't slash my tires,
the heat between us started some fires.
Gwen Stefani left the singer from Bush,
she loved the way I smacked her ****.
Lady Ga Ga showed me her poker face,
with her I reached every base.
Me and Lita Ford kissed each other deadly,
then she sang me a **** medley.
Madonna said I was her best,
we spent no time dressed.
I was man enough for Sheryl Crow,
let me tell you, she can really blow.
As the week ended, I had Shakira moving her hips,
then I woke up and it was an **** with Gladys Night and her Pips.

i've had wild turkey-
kinda gamey
but it'll do in a rush

i've had jim beam, too
along with a little kush

but- jack daniels kicked my ***
and knocked me on my ****


this thanksgiving
i'm going with plain old turkey
cuz i'm smarter and braver

if god will only grant me the serenity.

11/27/14

hearing Shakespeare,
my-own-voice
crack'd, stilted,
stuttered-shut by the
mocking silence of still
waters on the brain

poverty exposed,
raggedy verbiage for a
raggedy man's
frayed fringed garments

ashamed of
every word I ever wrote,
not even ten survivors,
not enough to pray collectively
for muse~forgivement

****,
hush me not,
no chairs turned,
the public has not texted,
new tattoo:
write on for audience of one

a necessity, a life sentence

a single topic, a subject,
a life, mine,
still unmastered,
decades of trying

poverty exposed, unmasked
for what it is worth,
or what it is not

Love is Love
so do not tarry.
If Tom loves ****
then they should marry.
If Anne loves Becky's
lovely ****,
No more beating about the bush!
But what of Harry's secret flame-
The love that dares not bleat its name?
Ewe'll have to wait another round
of defining deviance down.
If you think this all *******
please don't quote
the King James' version.
Lines at random from Leviticus
can make you seem
a tad ridiculous.

Our English language? A curious thing!
Hammers don't ham and fingers don't fing,
Grocers don't groce and ushers don't ush,
And why is a rear called a toosh, not a ****?
What is the plural of mitt? Is it mitten?
And what's a caboodle if there is no kit'n?
Do women count coins when they go through their change?
Is all lucre filthy? Are bedfellows strange?
You can't have the willie, the heebee or jitter,
And patter is noisy unless it's with pitter.
If a guy's queer, is he gay or just odd?
And if a girl's skinny, is she still a "broad"?
Can you do a flip? That's an interesting word...
Flip a house or a pancake or even a bird!
You'd never say fum without fee, fi or foe,
And why do we go to the bathroom... to go?
Slim chance or fat, they are one and the same,
And **** can be naughty unless it's your name!
So if you love words and you don't take them lightly,
You'll find by and by that you can-can write rightly!

Source: http://www.familyfriendpoems.com/poem/war-of-the-words#ixzz35Z943NKD
Family Friend Poems
Our English language? A curious thing!
Hammers don't ham and fingers don't fing,
Grocers don't groce and ushers don't ush,
And why is a rear called a toosh, not a ****?
What is the plural of mitt? Is it mitten?
And what's a caboodle if there is no kit'n?
Do women count coins when they go through their change?
Is all lucre filthy? Are bedfellows strange?
You can't have the willie, the heebee or jitter,
And patter is noisy unless it's with pitter.
If a guy's queer, is he gay or just odd?
And if a girl's skinny, is she still a "broad"?
Can you do a flip? That's an interesting word...
Flip a house or a pancake or even a bird!
You'd never say fum without fee, fi or foe,
And why do we go to the bathroom... to go?
Slim chance or fat, they are one and the same,
And **** can be naughty unless it's your name!
So if you love words and you don't take them lightly,
You'll find by and by that you can-can write rightly!

'Twas in the park one day
I met a chappie gay;
We went behind a bush
Where I saw his **** ****;
And I evinced a shock
When he took out his ****
(it was of such a size
it would have won a prize).

Now, so many years have passed
How many times we've arsed
Each other I don't know,
But each time we have a go
And watch each other come
Up an outsider's ***
We know our love is true
As we call out "OO! OO! OO!"

The conservative element in DC
Has something else as priority.
It sure is not you, nor is it me.
It’s a much more powerful constituency:
Those who pull strings do not care
Unless you are a multi-millionaire
And contribute to their greedy cause
Like some kind of Santa Claus.

They keep on doing what they’re doing
******* who they were *******
I would explain it all if I could
But sometimes words do no good.
Behind all the gobbledy ****
Someone is not playing by the book.
Winning with lies is what they are trying
To make the true facts look like lying.

They keep you so confused that you
You believe what they want you to,
So you won’t see behind their wiles
To bring their larcenous ***** to trial.
Dignifying public rumors of buggery
You look away from skullduggery.
A few insignificant happenstances
Eclipse treasonous circumstances.

You ***** about gays and abortion
While conservatives commit extortion
And persecution in Jesus’ name.
To them it’s all a ratings game.
If you don’t care what people feel
You lose all track of what is real.
You turn into a tool for deception;
A dupe of sleight-of-hand misdirection.

As long as things are as they are
We’ll get run over by the clown car
Which is the Congress currently seated.
And as long as they remain undefeated
The rules will leave the deck stacked.
Nobody in DC will have our backs.
Why should they care about our whim
When the way it is benefits them?

We need one item, one bill rules
Or we end up the same beaten fools.
We need campaign funding to be equal
Or each election becomes a sequel
To what happened with Gore and Bush
When backdoor politics bit us in the ****.
The only way change will ever come around
Is to take the loopholes from these clowns.

Of all the things I've got

It's my large ******* I treasure most
My tiny waist and slender fingers
My dainty wrists
The laugh that bubbles from my belly
The smile that's been called infectious that I treasure most

Of all the things I've got

My vocabulary is my dopest gift
My brain that's lightyears beyond your wildest thought
The eyes I use when luring you in for just one more taste
of my lips, which just happen to be my dopest gift

Of all the things I've got

It's my cafe con leche skin that I like the most
My flat stomach and toned ****
My hips that were made for making you melt
It's my quick wit that I'm most proud of

Of all the things I've got
and I've got a lot
It's you that my very best part

Fanwisdom gedachting a hearth-billow in my Herz
Ich hab' gedacht it fairer still to know
Than amongst dein Welt it predisposes is perplexed aloof
Extraños kann nicht go where I must go

And von und an die spinniest of Hund
In peril and with Angsty tougher Hands
Will not crepuscular desecration sofort ensue
Für nichts ist wichtiger nur ein Liebling mood

Versucht wir probs and totes adorbs
But still zu schieße tired and hasst to sein
Während wir sollen in the proper sense
Man oh yeah das Man sagt en vino absorb'd

Was wicked waste and After it schmeckt schleck
Über ist nicht was es ich verpassen now
Most mehr mit Menchen kommt wieso I ask?
Wenn wo I know it is so very untoward to cow

Kuh oder a coo cannot redeem from drain
Zeit and Mal scent rempeln us all or push
Klar we cannot stop the starkest Zug
Nor yodel holler up the lane for ****

And just wenn denkst du, dass eyes is mad
Know that for Worten the harshest Lebens macht
To get you just to see and versehe sum
Unwertens none of us will ever be ich gedacht

They showed me your picture at twelve weeks old
I wasn’t sure about this “parent” thing, but I was instantly sold

You grew inside me for seven long months
It made me happy, it made me complete
I could feel your body growing, little kicks from your feet

Now I’m in this bed, just waiting for you
I know it’s early but they say they know what to do

I feel the pain of you struggling to get out
I can understand what that’s all about

The doctor came in and said it is time
I’m ready to meet you, I’m ready to shine

They see your head and tell me to push
I do what I’m told, I can’t wait to see your little ****

It seemed like days, I was ready to pass out
And then by some miracle, you came out

I heard the cry, then they whisked you away
To clean you up, that’s what they did say

I waited and waited for them to bring you to me
I was getting restless, but the doctor I did not see

They said they tried everything
There was nothing they could do
Apparently you started turning blue

I just wanted to hold you
Just for one time
They put your body in my arms
Your hands seemed the size of a dime

I sat and rocked you
Until they took you away
I’ll never forget that horrible day

I’ll always love you
My angel up above
Mommy is here
You are my dove

By: Cedric McClester

Republicans start to shop
If their candidate’s not on top
And their poll numbers suddenly drop
Because they’re labeled a flop
So those who used to push
For the heir apparent Bush
Are sitting on their ****
Wishing they had Hindu-kush

And that new-jack Rubio
What is it they think he knows
That allows his cash to grow
They will reap just what they sow
Now let me mention Teddy Cruz
Who hasn’t paid his dues
And when asked he has refused
But that should be old news

Although Carly Fiorena
Has a tough demeanor
Trump once asked, “Have you seen her?”
When he wanted to demean her
And then there’s Dr. Carson
More Don Rickles than Johnny Carson
Soft spoken spreading arson
With incendiary parsing

Now that I have your attention
Though it may earn you dissention
Some I just choose not to mention
They’re beyond my comprehension
So that leaves us Donald Trump
Someone that they’d like to dump
But he says, “Kiss my ****!”
See he’s energized and pumped







Cedric McClester, Copyright © 2015.  All rights reserved.

drifting, drifting
half fearful, half willing
instead I fall into

something empyreal

​I fall into you

your arms constrict
you hold me still, planting amative kisses on the once reluctant bambino
baby unfurls at once, letting out little sounds of
almost
venery

almost venery
almost venery

sunlight filters in through the little slit at the bottom of the blinds

as I am lit by my own alpenglow, a little by the ****, a little by the scapulae

why do these phantom pains only become pains as soon as somnolence breaks?
I keep this in my heart.

Now Chil the Kite brings home the night
          That Mang the Bat sets free -----
The herds are shut in byre and hut,
          For loosed till dawn are we.
This is the hour of pride and power,
           Talon and **** and claw.
Oh hear the call! - Good hunting all
           That keep the Jungle Law!

Well-informed readers have some nerve to compete with this meter ,

 it takes years of practice to spell arachnid backwards to see it as the adinkra tribe,

                                                               ­                   symbols in time these words tend to mingle with lies...


I can't give you "grace"  because you're not up to pace
  

get to your point,

                                                 beating around the bush proves you're a sucker for ****,


                   stuck on your looks?



I wrote the book,
                                               takes a mirror to get hooked.

Addictions on self contradictions ,

oxy-morons ,

paradoxes,

the fox hole trench

the "Refute the ox-goad trend" ---------( Hebrew - ox goad))

                                                   To all, 

 it is not met or meant.

For the mint is min, as well as the mind under sin,

Including time, to escape from the Minotaur's Labyrinth the moon had to spin. 

You feel drained?  

Well it was probably the Wayne,

it's strange,

the umbrella , appears yellow as clear as mushroom caps being viewed by

Hellen Keller.