If you overesteem great men,
people become powerless.
If you overvalue possessions,
people begin to steal.

The Master leads
by emptying people's minds
and filling their cores,
by weakening their ambition
and toughening their resolve.
He helps people lose everything
they know, everything they desire,
and creates confusion
in those who think that they know.

Practice not-doing,
and everything will fall into place.

_
"Lao Tzu is believed to have been a Chinese philosopher (a person who seeks to answer questions about humans and their place in the universe) and the accepted author of the  Tao te ching,  the main text of Taoist thought. He is considered the father of Chinese Taoism (a philosophy that advocates living a simple life).

Read more: Lao Tzu Biography - life, name, death, school, book, old, information, born, time http://www.notablebiographies.com/Ki-Lo/Lao-Tzu.html

"23: July 24"
"24: October 5"
"25: February 19"
"26: December 14"
  
The words went right to the pit of my stomach.
All doubt was gone.
I'd graduate/be drafted in June.
By September
I'd be in Vietnam.
  
My high school gym teacher had been an Army sergeant.
He stepped on our stomachs as we did sit-ups,
"toughening us up".
I've had a problem with authority
(unsuited, temperamentally,
to obeying unconditionally).
I'd be a poor soldier in the best of wars.
  
But if a job required some independence/ingenuity --
a pilot or a spy, say --
and if the cause was right
(World War II, for instance),
I could fight as well as another guy.
  
I don't like fighting,
but I'm not so naive as to think it's never a necessity.
There's always someone who, given the chance,
will take our possessions and make us their slaves.
So who should decide
if a particular war is justified?
This seemed to be my own responsibility.
  
Vietnam? I decided it wasn't.
Weren't we protecting a democracy?
No. Thieu lacked popular support.
Wouldn't Thailand and India fall?
No. The domino theory was questionable at best.
Weren't our national interests at stake?
No, not really.
I'd decided I shouldn't fight;
They'd decided to make me fight.

The physical was set for March.
Unless I failed,
I'd go to Vietnam,
go to jail for seven years,
or go to Canada for the rest of my life.
  
In studying Army regulations,
I found a fascinating chart.
It showed for each particular height
the greatest and the smallest weight
the Army would accept.
I'd heard of people who'd gotten out
by injuring themselves intentionally.
Some exaggerated a minor back pain.
Others faked insanity.
Losing weight seemed nobler;
lying/mutilation, not required.
  
The low for me was 118;
lose twenty pounds and I'd be out.
(At 5'10", that's pretty thin.
Could I do it and not get sick?)
My parents thought for sure I'd die.
  
Help from doctors was out of the question;
on my own I studied nutrition.
Cut down on calories,
maintain needed nutrients
(protein, essential fats, vitamins, and minerals).
Once I found a working combination,
I stuck to it without exception.
Cottage cheese, wheat germ, and fish were staples.
Bored fat cells chose self-immolation.
My weight dropped to one hundred and twenty.

In cases where the weight was close
I'd heard the Army sometimes winked:
("Oh we'll fatten this guy up").
I decided to lose to one hundred and ten.
  
Contrary to my parents' fears --
though vigorous exercise made me dizzy --
I really wasn't sick at all.

The Army sent a special bus
to take us to the physical.
Once there, we stripped to underpants,
moved like cattle from each room to the next.
I weighed 110.
They classified me 1-Y
(examine again in a year;
if still unfit, reject).
Losing again would be inconvenient,
but free of worry since I knew that it worked.
  
I'd brought some food.
I drank and ate it ravenously.
  
So what did I feel on that bus heading home?
Triumph? Elation? No.
Relief, sadness, and guilt.
Relief because finally I was free of this mess.
Sadness and guilt because someone else
would be made to go and fight in my place.
It's true this person, on some level,
had chosen not to escape --
but maybe he just hadn't thought it through. . . .
  
Now for a bold statement from a slimy ex-draft-dodger --
I'm sure you'll think this hypocritical -- :
Each of us must be ready to serve.
Responsibility for protecting things we love
can not lie solely with the professional military.
(Future wars could overwhelm them.)
  
Service isn't always guns.
Service might be joining the Peace Corps
or electing leaders who effectively distinguish
false threats from real ones -- and pre-empt war.
  
Wars should be rare, ****** upon us.
No more propping up tottering dictators.
No more shoving "Democracy" down people's throats.
No more sacrificing 10,000 soldiers so we can pay a
      quarter less for gasoline.
  
Wars should be necessary and just;
everyone should serve.

the skin toughens with every bruise
the top layer sheds
the next one steps forward for another beating.
pretty soon numbness sets in.
its called learning.
it takes a little getting used to,
some time and tough luck
a little bit of twisted logic
a shrug, and a stubborn capacity to endure.
like onion being peeled, the tears well up
when the dried layer comes off.
so... you beat me up, and i take it.
if you smile past your raging fits,
i learn. we move along. nice and dandy.
just do not give up on me.
one day, i will be reasonably numb.
and then we will comfortably
beat each other to a blissful stupor.
so lemme have it if you feel like it, love.
i am an eager learning ******.
just hold me tight
whenever you pounce on me
and let me know when it is over.

He sits next to you on the train.
Your heart flushes as he smiles your way.
There's something about him that draws you in,
maybe it's his dreamy hair,
that seems to shine in the morning sun,
or maybe it's the book he was reading,
or maybe it was his hollow eyes,
the ones with the rings under them that makes him
look like he's three weeks past bedtime.
His four patches on his blue, denim jacket,
each with sassy comments on them, stating his hatred for Trump,
or his place as a Feminist?

The colourless rainbow tattoo on his wrist,
next to a heart.

It has her name on it.
And you sit and wonder...

Am I her?

You aren't.

You're not his tattoo,
the one that sits on his wrist.
A name that is passed carelessly throughout the carriages,
The name that stops at the platform.

You are a gentle thought,
unravelled in the minds of others,
growing and nurturing,
exuberating kindness as you do so.

You are not his tattoo,
but a garden,
soon to flourish and grow stronger,
toughening through harsh winters.

You are not his.

You are an evergreen mass,
you were born to live
and you thrive as you do so.

My mom is mischievously, mysterious,
    with her momentum.
But perfectly perpetuating her
    purpose on earth.
Never wavering wondering, or
    wishing for it all.
Only knowing.

She is in her palace.
Filling her chalice.
Toughening the callus,
That's needed..

Necessary negativity to neutralize,
        The highs and balance the lows.
Candidly correcting the corrupt
         With a simple smile.
Lifting the leveled and the loveless,
          With ease.

There is no tail,
That could make a wail.
Only mine of I fail,
But, I won't walk that trail.

I'll take the teachings and trials,
      She will give.
Learning love and limits
      With a laugh.
I just want to say,
       Thank you
For my life and the love you've given.
       You're perfect, just for me.

Evil will always invite us to a feast of retaliation—that seductive chance to pay an offender back with more evil, disguised under the pretense of protecting what is rightfully ours and of defending our dignity. Reciprocated malice is what it craves most of us, as it thrives on infecting us with its slimy, slithery, leprous self. It seeks voraciously, insatiably to ensnare, enslave and devour us, for it's a hideously monstrous creature sent from deepest caverns of hell. Its predatory intent is to extinguish our light with its darkness, and if we open the door to it (even a crack) it will reach around with long, lecherous fingers to grab us by the throat and choke the life out of us with such force and speed that we won't even see it coming.

But goodness has an invitation of its own, an invitation both to us and to our offender, an invitation to drive out the infection of evil and illuminate the darkness. It invites us, when offended, into the precarious but glorious adventure of turning the other cheek. But first we must understand clearly that this turning of the cheek should never be mistaken for turning a blind eye to continual sin. It is NOT ignoring the hurt or diminishing the harm done to us so that we might spare ourselves the dreaded inconvenience of rocking the boat and disrupting our own greater interests, nor is it foolishly submitting to evil's unhindered presence around us and control over us while cowering in the face of it. It is not attempting to self-righteously shrug off that which feels to us like a serrated knife twisting in our belly or burying, beneath the layers of an ever toughening heart, the fallout from an ongoing betrayal which mocks all that is decent and sacred. It is not weakly accommodating habitual, sinful behavior in the name of peacemaking, giving up the good fight of faith in order to give in and just live with it while our soul suffocates in the meantime. It is not saying that it doesn't matter, that it's okay or no big deal. To do so (and I have surely done them all) is to deny the powerful truth of the gospel, the truth of the serious and highly offensive nature of all sin, the truth that God absolutely hates it, is greatly angered by it, calls it what it is and that He desires (and has made provision through Jesus Christ) to set sinners free from it, not simply overlook it and leave them entangled in it.

So we too ought to have a righteous anger toward the destructive nature of sin, both in ourselves and in others, seeing it as God sees it and calling it what He calls it by humbly speaking the truth in love and pointing them to Christ. And once we have removed (or are willingly, honestly engaged in the process of removing) the obvious plank(s) from our own eye (including a crouching fear of uncomfortable but necessary confrontation), we are supposed to do what we can (whenever and however the Holy Spirit leads us...that part is most essential) to help others (with mercy, meekness and wisdom from God) remove the speck from theirs. We are called to 'restore gently' (Galatians 6:1) and '****** others from the fire and save them' (Jude 23) as the Lord enables us by His sovereign and saving grace to do it, to enter fully into His kingdom work in this dark world and into the risky business of loving even our worst enemies. It is our high privilege and duty as followers of Jesus Christ and those who bear His name on this earth to participate with Him in His work of redemption. He alone can save and deliver from sin, but we are called to be some of the instruments He providentially uses in the process.

Turning the other cheek (as Jesus taught it, commanded it and lived it out) is a shrewd, deliberate and Spirit-led extending of extravagant grace and unselfish blessing to our offender, along with a daringly tactical invitation to him to show his true colors and his true intentions, whatever they may be. Exactly how this looks and plays out will vary greatly depending on the unique circumstance or relationship, and we must always rely fully on the Lord (on His word and through communion with Him in prayer, His perfect example and His prompting) to give us wisdom and creativity in carrying out our part with humility and discernment, never forgetting that we too are in want of much deliverance from our own sins and besetting habits and therefore in desperate need of others to graciously do the same for us.

We must ask and believe God for His step-by-step direction in all of these things and be willing to follow Him no matter what it might cost us, even if the price is the seemingly unbearable discovery that our offender does not and will not love us—a possibility which may feel worse to us than death. The paralyzing fear of such a devastating revelation can easily become one of our greatest stumbling blocks to giving truly wise and beneficial gifts to those who hurt us, especially if they are among those from whom we desire a particular intimacy and acceptance.

Are we willing to face even more rejection? Are we willing to set aside our own 'need' to be loved by them in order to courageously, unconditionally love them as Jesus loves them and as He loves us—with a yearning for deliverance from sin and restoration to intimacy with God that requires the laying down of oneself for the sake of the other, the spending of oneself on behalf of the spiritually captive, naked, hungry and oppressed? And if not for their sake, are we willing to do it for the sake of our own intimacy with Christ and our own soul's hunger? Are we willing to rest completely in and rely only on His perfect and never-ending love to fill us so full that it cannot help but spill over to them? Are we willing to trust that He is enough for us in all things and at all times through all situations?

However complicated the situation may be, offering the other cheek is meant to be a sacrificially loving and boldly open invitation for our offender to make a clear and definite choice between repentance or continued and greater evil. It gives him the freedom, the responsibility and the obvious opportunity to decide exactly what he will do with our 'other cheek.' Will he 'kiss' it with genuine kindness this time (as a pledge toward true restoration) or strike us once again? The choice and responsibility are his alone, but either way it will eventually expose him for what he really is and his intentions for what they actually are and, perhaps, by the mercy of God bring him to see his need and desire for true reconciliation and healing. Our part is simply to hunger for him to hunger after God and to do what we can to cunningly provoke such an appetite.

But even if that never happens, even if he chooses to remain in captivity to sin, evil will no longer have a safe place to hide in the shadows. And once it is out in the open we can look it fully in the face with our dignity intact and without backing down or shrinking from our call to always be the aroma of Christ, and we can overcome it with the power of good through the strength of Jesus and the praise of His name (even when the situation and the Spirit dictate that it is wisest to keep our mouth shut and 'not cast our pearls...'). And because of Christ's satisfying love and all-sufficient grace, we can do it again and again and again, not with reluctance and resentment but with overwhelming compassion and unexplainable peace flooding our soul, even in the midst of earth-shattering pain. We can defeat evil by our very refusal to give into it or become part of it and by our determination to rest in the Lord and His promise to defend us in His perfect time and in His perfect way. And that is the heart's ultimate 'vengeance' against evil, for surely it cries out resoundingly for it.

So rather than taking our desired revenge on the evildoer (our offender), we can take it straight out upon the evil one (the devil), upon our real enemy and on his evil schemes. One of the weapons which the Lord has given us to carry out this precise form of tactical warfare is forgiveness, and we must learn to use it regularly, skillfully and lavishly without giving way to fearful intimidation or self-serving cowardice. 'And who is equal to such a task?' Only the Spirit of Christ living in us! We are utterly dependent on Him to do it in and through us and, unless we yield to His grace and power, it will be an impossible undertaking.

Dear wounded and hurting ones, we have been issued distinct invitations to two mutually exclusive feasts, and it is time now for us to choose which one we will be attending. There is much at stake in our decision, and so we must journey to the foot of the cross to make it...

This thing, the words and all?  I was trying on a new skin.
It was made of the old -the familiar, too, but transformed.
Something added that could take root,
Take me out from the norm.
Take on a new identity.
Perform.
Squinting at a light, held at arm’s length:
My own spotlight.
So you could watch me act it all out,
Over and over, forever on the page.
but nothing ends as it began.
My troubles, my worries, my lust, my greed,
All fictionalized and petty.

Disgust and shame.
Anger and fear,
Are not advisable
Unless they bring about change.
Even those, now left behind.
Moulted.
Shedding my old skin.
Toughening up the new.

"why can't I be a man that likes pink,

why can't I be a woman that likes to surf the wind,

why can't I be a man that cries tears of joy,

why can't I be a woman that's not a mommy

why can't I be a man, without toughening up,

why can't I just be

be a human"

Wutherings Bronte

THE CANBERRA CROWD ARE A PACK OF YEAH MATE YEAH KIDS



YOU SEE, I DISAGREE WITH ARGUING WITH PARENTS

I ALSO FEEL MY HOOLIGAN CREEPING INTO MY TOES

I AM A FAMILY PERSON, WHO AIN’T SHY

I DON’T WANT TO BE TOLD TO RELAX BY A STUPID NERD

I DON’T **** PEOPLE OFF, NERDS **** PEOPLE OFF

AND I AIN’T A NERD, YOU SEE, TODAY I WAS FUNNY

COME ON SAY, I LIKE YOU BRIAN YOUR FUNNY, SAY THAT MATE

I HATE DAD’S VOICE IN MY HEAD, TREATING ME LIKE A SHYPERSON

BUT I WAS SHY WHEN I WAS YOUNG,

BUT I LIKE TO BE CALLED A FAMILY PERSON

YOU SEE, I SEE DAD, SAYING I THOUGHT YOU WANTED ME TO DO THIS

I WAS A BIT OF A HOOLIGAN WHEN I WAS YOUNG

BUT I AM REFORMED, I STILL LIKE FISH AND CHIPS

I HATE VOICES TRYING TO MAKE YELL ON THE ROADSIDE

IU NEVER LIKED DOING THAT

IT’S HARD, TO BE TREATED LIKE  A LITTLE SHY BOY

BY THE GROUPS YOUR WITH AND YOUR VOICES

IT’LL BE FUN TO MEET GREAME THORNE’S FAMILY

IT’S FUN TO LIVE IN A WORLD, THAT THE MENTALLY ILL

ARE MY FRIENDS

I KNOW HE’S MY FATHER, BUT I HATE IT, NO MATTER HOW MANY PEOPLE

SAYING DAD WAS INSPIRATIONAL, YEAH, BUT HE SEEMED TO LIKE TEASING ME

WITH THE REALLY PERFECT PEOPLE, I LIKE DAD, AND I WISH PATRICK WOULD

TELL ME, LIKE BE HIS MATE AGAIN

YOU SEE, JUST BECAUSE I AM 45, DOESN’T MEAN I SHOULD GET PUSHED DOWN

BY ******* DAD, HE WAS *******, YEAH, DAD, THE SMART APPROACH

WOULD TEASE LIKE A FAMILY PERSON, CAUSE DAD’S WAY WILL NEVER EVER WORK

HE TRIED TO CARE FOR ME, BUT, IN THE WRONG WAY

I WOULD’VE LOVED IF DAD WAS ONE OF THOSE COOL FATHERS

WHO THINKS SITTING IN THE MIDDLE OF A 333 LONG BENDY BUS IS COOL

I FEEL THAT DAD WAS TRYING TO AVIOID GETTING ROBBED

BUT I HATED DAD DOING THE STUPID FIGHTING CALLING ME FOOL AND COWARD

DAD IS NOW ELIZABETH ANN CAMPBELL,

HERE IS A THOUGHT, TEASE ME THROUGH CYBER SPACE, AND CHANGE KIDS WAY OF THINKING

I LIKED PATRICK BACK THEN, BETTER THAN DAD, I WAS LETTING MY BROTHER MOVE ON

THE REASON WHY I HAD MY PARENTS OVER FOR XMAS PARTY DINNER

WAS BECAUSE I LOVE PARTIES, AND NOBODY BESIDES ONE MATE WANTED TO COME TO MY HOUSE

SO I LOOKED LIKE A CULE KID, YA KNOW, DAD HELPED ME LIKE THAT, I DON’T NEED TOUGHENING UP

YOU CAN’T STOP FIGHTING WITH FIGHTS, IF DAD WANTS TO SAY I AM NOT YA DADDY

SAY IT THROUGH ELIZABETH ANN CAMPBELL

AND I PARTY RIGHT TO THE END OF THE WORLD

I HATE BEING TREATED LIKE A BIG GIRL, GET THESE VOICES OUT OF MY FUCKEN HEAD

I AM A FAMILY PERSON, PLEASE I WOULDN’T MIND HAVING KIDS BUT I ACCEPT THAT, I AM NOT LIKE LYLE

I WANT TO HAVE YOUTUBE COMPANIONS CAUSE I HATE PATRICK TELLING ME BE A KOOMARRI TO MUCK AROUND WITH

I KNOW THEY ARE TREATING ME NORMALLY BUT I BELIEVE MY ITCHY FEET, IS MY HOOLIGAN LEAVING MY BODY

IT’S NOT MY LITTLE YOUNG DUDE

I DON’T WANT TO FIX MYSELF UP WITH MY PARENTS

CAUSE, I HATE BEING TREATED LIKE A HOOLIGAN, NO MATTER

YA SEE, FROM DEEP WITHIN, THERE IS A LITTLE SHY BOY, THAT NEEDS TO GET OUT

YOU SEE, I HATE BEING TREATED LIKE A BIG GIRL, A SHYPERSON, SO TO SPEAK

YA SEE, EVERY ITCH, IS MY HOOLIGAN, ANYONE WHO GETS ITCHY INFECTION’S LIKE MY ITCHY INFECTIONS

IT MEANS YOU EITHER HAVE AN EVIL PAST IN THIS LIFE, AND AN EVIL PREVIOUS LIFE

EVERYONE HAS A HOOLIGAN TRAPPED INSIDE THEM

BUT I BELIEVE YOU HAVE TO REALLY ITCH TO GET RID OF IT

YA SEE, I LOVE LIFE, AND I LOVE TO PARTY IN LIFE, I WISH DAD AND PATRICK WOULD GET OUT OF MY HEAD

WHAT IS WRONG WITH ATTEMPTING TO STAY UP ALL NIGHT, I DO SLEEP, ON THE CHAIR

BUT DAD WANTS TO BRING MY BIG MAN INTO ACTION, BECAUSE HE WORRIES LIKE A COTTON WOOL ADULT

THAT IS WHY, I TOLD HIM I WAS TEASING HIM, I TEASED HIM BY SAYING

YOU SHOULD SMOKE AGAIN DAD, I AM PATRICK DUNBAR AND GREAME THORNE

AND I REMEMBER, BEING ALBERT WALDRON, AND THAT HOTEL, WAS THE BEST HOTEL IN THE LAND

I AM HEARING MY BULLY WITH MY BROTHER, AS I AM TYPING THIS STORY,I AM HEARING MYSELF THROUGH PATRICK

YOU SEE, I HATED DAD, BUT I GREW TO LIKE HIM, BUT HE SEEMED TO TAKE THAT ALL AWAY

REALLY, NOBODY CAN SEND BRIAN ALLAN TO BED, JUST BECAUSE

YOU NEED TO UNDERSTAND I WALKED AROUND FROM HOUSE TO HOUSE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT

I LIKED THAT THEN, BUT NOW I MUST GROW UP INTO A PARTY LOVING MAN

A FUN LOVING GUY TO BOOT

I AM A FUN LOVING GUY, AND THEN EVERYONE SAID, *******, I SAID, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO MUCK AROUND

DAD IS LOOKING OUT FOR ME, BUT HE IS FUCKEN COTTON WOOLING, I HATE WHEN PATRICK IN MY HEAD BE’S A FATHER FIGURE TO SAY I’M NOT YA DADDY

THAT IS NOT NICE AT ALL

Changes within
Changes without
The game without fun is useless
Rules are guidelines not facts
And so the wall begins
The first brick laid in tears
Pushed back across the line
The next laid in blood
Words lashed out
Toughening tender hearts
And the foundation is set
For the wall of regrets

it's 10:18pm and my heart aches a little for your touch. it aches a lot for your touch, actually. it shrivels up in a ball and goes in the corner of my hollow chest and buries itself in sadness. it misses you, maybe even more than I do. after you left, you see, my heart and I have yet to be on good terms. we fight. we fight a lot. we fight about stupid things like starting up a conversation with you. stupid things like crying and letting it out and toughening it out. stupid things like that. now, this is not a midnight jumble of words but it could easily be that if it were midnight. now, I do hope you're happy and your heart and yourself are on good terms. I certainly do hope so.

It's all it takes to make me happy
All I need to put a smile on
3 things reason enough
To become a better man
Than I was a second ago
My daughter
Innocent and energetic
Heart of gold
I'd plate with titanium
So it would never be broken
Lock away in a far away castle
Too high for even dragons to reach
But I know you can't hide
The radiance of her eyes
Intrigued by everything
With a giving hand at her age
My Family
Jokes and burns
Scares and bruises
We give each other just for a laugh
Toughening each other's minds
Keeping the wise still sharp
Forging the young
Into durable adults
Prepared for anything
Ready to take charge
Tearing out walls
To open their own doors
My friends
Uplifting and always there
Significant to someone like me
Who fears the dark
Wishing to never be left alone
If not for them
I would have given up
On chasing the dream
Of becoming a man
My little girl is proud of
It's gratitude before me
Oceans of debts
Money could never pay back
Only my success could do
Proving to them all
Their failure to give up on me
Wasn't in vain
That I was truly worth
Every drop of effort
They didn't realize they put in
A simple smile
A helping hand
An "I got you if you need me"
Late night talks
Advice I didn't think I needed
It all molded me
Every bit of kindness
I didn't think I was worth
I say it's 3 things
Yet that's just the categories
I've placed the thousands of hands
I refuse to let go of, in
Thank you
From my soul
To the tears that fall
As I write this
While I'm supposed to be working
All of you saved me
When I couldn't save myself

Pardon me in my attempts to shovel through the ******* alone
if only I could read enough books to become the great Athena,
listen to enough Patti Smith so that I could slowly slip into her shadow,
or walk enough paths so as to become so rugged yet feminine as Mother Earth herself

if only I could know all, be all, see all
if only I could accept happiness like I accept sweet kisses,
each always turning sour, anyhow

Ignorant, clueless, helpless, I stand with feet on coals

I want to set off running
preferably before these volcanos erupt
and I'm cloaked in this archaic ash forevermore
Stuck holding fast to a pose so foreign to my own heartbeat

I want to set off running
Arms open to the greenest of leaves
and coolest of falling raindrops
Like a tigress on a mission,
Leaping into certain life

I want to take off running
I want these two feet to carry me somewhere that I don't feel so huge and clumsy, but small, with fingertips cradling grinning vibrations that travel with a touch

I want to take off running
into the pages of science fiction books
onto strange and foreign planets
have their creatures pick apart my stagnant brain
I want to be turned, insides out, by aliens

I plan to run until my legs give out,
until there are no planets, no stars, no more books to host me
until my arms are full with words and wisdoms,
and my lungs collapse, exalted

……..

I always saw a beauty in dried roses
They know they are lifeless, yet they hold
darkening and toughening, beautiful in death
with reds darker still, and romance tangible

on the film

there’s a story

and its told in black and white

in the writings

there’s a meaning

like when we stay up in the night

and in the winter

we dreamed that we would have our

life in our hands, and we’d be alrightwell now its summer

and you’re flashing me a light

in the middle of the night

i’ve always been running

and i ran into you

and i guess you ran in to me, too

but i’m still running

i don’t know what fromi don’t know where to

but i hope i’ll still have you

when it’s over

when our death is coming true

and if its true

when you say you can’t handle back ‘n’ forthand i’m too

misleading for what its worth

well, i’m sorry

but its a price you’ll have to pay

i never chose to be this way

a different person everyday

sometimes i don’t know what to say

can’t form the words like i could form some softened clay

i keep things in, but i don’t mean to keep them far away

i’m toughening upi’m getting righti love you, and thank

you for the fightsand your uppercut into meand how you

push my face into your kneeand your teethbreaking

sincerityand your hurtful honestyyeah it hurts mebut

what does not **** me makes me strongeri hope you hit

me a while longeri hope you’ll kiss me when i’m

weakwhen i am bleak and incomplete

Cracks form in my tender heart
A Hardening and toughening dart

Tears dry and stop their flow
Not of happiness but of sorrow

The pains dulls over time
More present however, in its prime

Still living at almost functionality
Slowly losing touch with reality

The sobbing halts in a bind
Not of peace, of a broken mind

My heart is broken and almost unfeeling
It’s evolved and become great at concealing

As a bricklayer's assistant
he was a farmer's son first:
by result of a school mockery
he has been extracted
from the roots.

Location between distances
to yourself in a safe mode is
the perpendicular engineering
of toughening.

I am looking

at the holy picture as
he breathes calmly
during sleep

my father