I am a Shining Star
Let me Brust
To Decorate Your Sky
I am a Bioling Sun
Let Me Explode
To Light Your World
I am a Wandering Cloud
Let Me Be Your Shield
And Save You From Heat
I am A Glacier
Let Me Melt
And Remove Your Thrist
I Just Want You To Remember My Name
Whenever You Cry With Pain
It Will Rain
I Will Be That Rain
That Will Wash Away All of your Pain
Just Let Me Cry
If That Brings You A Smile

The last few days
Have been strange
I haven't been eating
My emotions
And I always have

I am NOT
A thin girl
Nor medium sized
And I can't help that
But this is odd

Nausea replacing my
Urge to eat away
The stress or sorrow
A rumbling in my stomach
Screaming
Please no food

I'm a eater
My mother and father too
So why have I not been hungry

I've been thinking about
Dieting soon
Could this be my
Subconscious saying
You don't have to
I'll take care of that for you

I'm mystified
Usually I drink endlessly
Always thirsty
And always drinking more
Than anyone else
And yet I felt less thrist
In these last days
Completely ignored the full cup
Even when my mouth was dry
A sip would satisfy

Somethings wrong
But I'm not gonna ask
It's okay not to eat
At least not like I use to

Maybe this is a blessing in disguise
I just hope everything turns out okay.

Your love is my vice
Thirsting for your soft caress
Carnal addiction

My head in riddles,
poisonous snakes latch onto every thought,
every feeling, leeching out every essense of
purity until I'm left dry in thrist.

I feel the pressure of the acids pulsating through
every nerve of my living body, slowly torturing,
paralyzing me from the inside out.

But I can still feel the dim flicker of light,
the one feeling, the strongest of them all,
hidden the deep in the caverns of my exsistence.
I will crawl with my fingernails, with every
last breath to reach this light.
I will bleed before I allow myself to become
paraslysed into darkness.

These devious creeping shadows will be cast out,
the abundance of light will take over, I will be free.
I am ready to step into self liberation.

When I grew out of my adolescence
I lost my crippling thrist to write

I stopped cutting myself in my early 20's;
just like the research articles said I would

Disorder direction, however,
was not the cause of my coping correction

I moved away from rampant tantrums
Sliding down the ***** of sufferance


I used to write to externalize my internal desperation
My frustration with the life I was given
(Certainly not the choices I've made)

Over a decade of time has aged me
From a helpless girl, to an impassive woman
Submissive to circumstance

Now, I chain bricks to my ankles
And throw myself in the sea of apathy

I will not expend the energy to care,
but rather intentionally strive for indifference


In doing so, I sacrifice my desire to write…
Losing desperation makes me hollow

Then again, helplessness is for children.

I am a woman now.

I no longer crave the ability to describe my emotions
Asking for help is not a viable option anymore
I've tried that long enough

We all thrist for passion and desire the lust.
From the stage it's a strange connection between the music
and the female form.

For years I sat  the party creator sixteen  full of want and no clear direction.
Tight skirts the light caresses every curve.
So eager to be jaded and happily used.

My school of beautiful corruption and thoose
Ladies so eager to teach.
Love far from mind the time of change toys left
behind.
New vices soon to replace.

The bar my sanctuary  the stage I was invisable in
plain site.
Laughter is my love   the party my soul.
Sin my  eager vice the perfume to my devilish mind.


***** and no worries about the following day.
I fell in the life a happy  fool.
Blind to the  vision of the one way street.

Just a kid lookin to hitch down hell's highway.
The noise the sweat the blood given  to perfect
strangers in the key of night.

Those beautiful forms sway in a seduction
tremble at the unseen hand.
The nights direction was always  at my command.

Outside the night went from everything to
emptyness of the ordinary.
They went there way my feet back on the ground.
For I gave then a mental release  victem to a sound.


Moments turn to tears the jaded forget all to soon.
But I remain the party  never ends.
Faces fade forever into the night.
Direction  points elsewhere.
Habits and addictions  *** and  and the abstract
scene.

My road  leads  in many directions.
The crossroads  is but a one way street.
I see them still in the shadows.
Where the Devils and Angel's meet.

4 in the morning and the thrist for rest had not stopped its fight

I try to isolate my ears from these threatening voices at night

I suffocate my face with my hands and arms to make the place seem darker

My eyes wouldn't fall for it. It only made the sleep all the more harder

My nails clenching into my skull as I try to cope with this pain

Dear God of the heavens show mercy, my eyes are red and burning... and I'm going insane

love
is a
thrist
and hunger
for knowledge
and
the search
for truth
that
causes
equilibrium
between
our souls
when
love is knowledge

My drought had been long
My thrist severe inside
The desert cold of my loneliness.

Such a pining I felt
And could not describe but
My need was easily understood.

I had a craving for contact
Of warm skin, conditioned hair,
Under the saftey of a comforter.

The Night's cold that chills
May speak of my need, but the
Wounds of my soul held the truth.

I could feel myself withering
In the cold desert of my feelings-
Such a death I wish on no one.

My rewaking arose with the cold
Sting of a blade, feeling warm
against my icy veins.

The blade made a flow of
words into my mind and
bid me to write them here.

Of such reminders I have few,
But I remember this feeling,
Which I asked to wait outside the door.

Upon Her entry I remembered why
I had avoided Her for so long,
Her cold gaze penetrating my heart.

It was not in my strength to
Fain a second defense against
The onslaught of her will.

She held me in her frigid embrace
And I thanked her for it,
For within it was a hint of what I longed.

I knew the blade was Hers,
And bid her again my gratitude,
For I knew this death would let me live.

It is almost morbidly humorous
That Loneliness can take care of
Those enslaved to her so well.

Clasping the wound from the blade
I walked out the Door, wishing to
Turn back and show my rejoice of my freedom.

There was little time however,
And I wished to say goodbye to a
Chosen few, and the journey was harsh.

The wind outside howled and snow
Bit at my face, much like those
I felt necessary to bid my adieu.

While I can scarcely recall
My meetings with both, I know
The burden was lessened by the visit.

The touch of a warm hand lingered
On my cheek, and the taste of a kiss
On my tongue were the only memories I left with.

At the Gateway to the
Relm of the Warm I looked back
quietly on the Land of the Lonely.

I know many despise that Queendom,
But I cultivated a fondness for it
Few can grow, and fewer can explain.

At 2AM I took a longing breath
Of the coldness that surrounded me
And with it I walked out the archway.

I devour every breath you take
I false my veins in understandment of water
The droplets of the liquid that drip from your eye
I pour sunshine into my drink
The one you bought in the corner
I scream for your thrist
You break my back
You don't seem to scare
You seem lost
You inhale a white smoke
Its dangerous
I take in the angst
I struggle not to dust the water sprinkles.

When your pops die from gun violence
All the optimism in you becomes silent
You see life as a glass half empty
Just a half glass away from dying of thrist
You live like it's always close to the end when things could be worst
You audition through life with a smile and a grin
Deep down knowing it's all for pretend
So you live careful not wanting to knock over the glass
And the fear of being empty, makes you think every sip is  your last
You try to grasp light in a dark room
Use bravado and brash to mask  a heart of gloom
You speak with  joyful agony
And every time things turn bad
You question if Gods mad
Cause Everytime you walk the road of repentance
You turn back to your *****
You question if you're the pig that God warned not to cast with pearls
Read about walking in the spirit yet struggle with breaking from the grip of the world
You lean on your own understanding
So you have a hard time realizing  the enemy
Find yourself sitting at the wrong table
Thought you was growing but was told you can't sit at the grown table
Until you do this and that
As your spirit and flesh scrap
Just to come to the reality that your flesh will die
And to God your spirit returns back
Then you start living strictly by God's truth for his truth will forever trump facts
Birthing a perspective of optimism a half full glass.

You said, I need to change me? change the inside of me, eyes, nose, the shape, change my beliefs, change the me that makes me… ME.
To be with you, whos’e you? help me to remember? Did you change the color, the smile, those ugly feet, the qualities, will you change these for me, the smell of your forest for me? Why? You see; the earth that, we all came from is rough soil. that plenishes me… nourishes me ...to feel, to touch, to know that no matter what I have change,the earth will recognizes  the true me, that she hàd place upon the earth, knowing  that one day I will return to her, recognizes the true form, dust to dust, my earth does not care. she will accept me this much I am sure …
Change me .. Change me… for a fraction of time .. For a simple lay, the approval of your glare, change me for you? Who are you? My water is pure, for wave of fore play, and thrist of lust … no, this is not necessary….

The blanket of space, where never rased so "placees after hours" you listen the blank taste settles there hate.

Conflate, the reams of the varibles.

Disagree, with the hammer of dawn.

Dust mist the area.

Immunity, was parched the thrist it needed a pass to enter with grain on hands you go to your converters.

The build began, its safety features include "secrete safe" house concepts.

So don't be silly or nodding because the scale use there own grips.

The yard puzzles most as Un seen.

Cars pass by yet no one sees the area.

How was this able to occur none will know.

Many men and women, praise there skills made in full detail.

Don't look away as the sun will change its pace more than just metaphorically.

Day after day the music, was played to the person of high grade, sheilds.

As shadow's came we light his path or aura enegy.

Disburst there attempts with tricky special ops.

Codes were recited, to open the plasma coil and the power was as is.

Above* the words read Care Is To Be Used!

Misinformation, spell to Earth, as Kings and Knight, change there views and faces.

Here as rain starts pain grew and Plains redone.

Illicit, there plains where yet with grim details Un masked.

Poker hands faces look easy.

Oh, dear lord it is that of pity.

Black ships and twister of reality.

Shade there (Egos) and stain there display.

Decate, as we go to the other room he begins his home made craft.

Shoulder, heavy as made precession, was resized for the purpose of matter displacement.

What happened to the games?
What happend to the giggles?
At what point do we grow up?
And when do we become corrupt?

The answer is simple, life is a cup
We play and laugh until one day we thrist.
As we get older, we keep drinking
Until we see the bottom, and our minds burst.

What lies on the bottom, scares us
We become filled a with a greater lust.
The craving for knowledge eats us alive
Until our inner child escapes it's hive

So why rush your age?
Keep your imagination in a cage
And keep your cup filled
Or one day your inner child will be killed

What happened to the games?
What happend to the giggles?
At what point do we grow up?
And when do we become corrupt?

The answer is simple, life is a cup
We play and laugh until one day we thrist.
As we get older, we keep drinking
Until we see the bottom, and our minds burst.

What lies on the bottom, scares us
We become filled a with a greater lust.
The craving for knowledge eats us alive
Until our inner child escapes it's hive

So why rush your age?
Keep your imagination in a cage
And keep your cup filled
Or one day your inner child will be killed

The most days
I will work each week
Is three

Happiness on this planet
I'm afraid
Will forever elude me

My left side of my body
Is a bit stronger
Than my right

I try to offset this
With weights
It seems I always
Lose this fight

It's a small imbalance
Not a big deal
Some say

But it bothers me
How I feel this way

And the loneliness is
All consuming
Seeing friends
A few days a year

I won't bother crying
I won't shed a tear

And the therapist mocks me
And the world does too
They hated Jesus
And they will hate you

The wicked lover power
And money too
When judgement day comes
They will be *******

Jihadists plan attacks
In the middle of the night
When different cities
Are attacked
People will be filled with fright

The human race
Just repeats
The same mistakes
Over and over again

I watch **** on the internet
My ***** makes me sin
Some people were
Just born to to lose
And others to win

At the gym
I sit and listen
To people talk
But no one talks to me

I guess this is
My miserable life
And how things
Must be

Nothing ever happens
In this life matrix
And I find it quite queer
I sat on a granite boulder
And drank a non-alcoholic beer

Just a bunch of names and faces
Just a bunch of dates and places
Body slowly dies

It's all absurd and
Mostly meaningless
Should I even bother to cry

Earth the worst
Of all the planets
In the galaxy

I'm content to be miserable
Content to let things be

It could always be worse
I drank a glass of water
To quench my thrist

One day our economy
Will collapse
This is how it should be
America a sinking ship
Will drown in the sea

A New World Order to emerge
Perhaps it will be
Like the movie "The Purge"

Globalist powers
Don't care for you and me
An Orwellian nightmare
Becomes a reality
No longer a writer's fantasy

And I pray to some guy
Named Jesus
I suppose he really cares
He is supposed to hold my hand
And to say "There there"

A world of suffering and sin
All becomes Eve let Satan in
It was their fault, not mine
On this earth
I have spent some time

And if an agnostic
Or atheist
You can see
Human beings are good at
Creating misery

Resources distributed unfairly
Throughout the green earth

A man brings his produce
To market in Africa
He knows what it is worth

A tribal leader
Has destroyed half his fields
He couldn't just let things be

I traveled around the world
Met some good people
And some bad

I don't know really what
To think of this life
Should I just be sad?

Lie in bed and watch a movie
And dream of my female friend
The world never cares
About my desires
Lonely to the end

An unsteady tempo beats in my temples/ I speak in a strange tongue, an unknown dialect escapes my lips/ curious watchful glazes litter the uneven room that I slowly navigate/ it rocks back and forth, I ask, " where is the captain to this ship"? Those watchful eyes I mentioned now look with laughter some with disgust/ it is a must no imperative to find an area of safety/ I hate it but the constant swaying has cause sickly bowels/ as I continue to speak the strange language an even stranger liquid I begin to spew forth! What's happening!!?? Now darkness is all I see before me/ it seems like days/ I remember nothing/ I awake to see the that I am in different rocking ship/ more watching eyes/ I still speak the same unknown language hearing the same uneven tempo.......will this dream ever end? Will I be forever doomed to repeat the same cycle? Well, at least I have something for this persistent thrist

what we need
is to
give and receive
when my
heart thrist
more then yours but
where shall
i go
when water
springs from
your
loving hands
more then
i need

A simple word which
Comes with a beautiful world
Comes when the high temperature
Of earth wants to calm down,
And brings back life to the lifeless
It's scientific in nature
But nonetheless a art of creature.
It happens to fullfill the thrist
of creatures, beings,and their
Hand made wonders.
It is transparent in nature
But still hides a rainbow in it.
Gloomy, wet, humid are it's
Nickname which are given to
This wonder of nature.
It's not just a season,
But a whole new period
For several numerous reason.

The day I began dreaming of you
is now nowhere near my eyes
when I revert back and behold;
Because now it’s an immeasurable extend
that I have travelled
all the way, in dreams with you;
Everytime I open my eyes,
And be afraid
if the distance I travelled with you
together over the years
would remain a dream forever;
Though I perceive dreams
might or might not
turn up truely impressive in real nature,
yet the world I live in, when sleeping
is the most beautiful universe up there,
Because the way you are in my dreams
is the fair opposite of the factual you,
Its just the type i wanted you to be
merely tender and warm hearted;
Everytime I open my eyes
and realise my own inner thrist;
For the dreams were so unrealistic.
Since, my impulse holds a complete shape
I would persistenly dream
to see the happy us..
Its always you in my dreams! [to the visionary you]

-Thanakarshnni