...
Is that as bad as you are to me?

I relented
not because I'm tired

but because I believe that you're the best friend ever

disappointed ...

after seeing what you did
once you know how the actual
once you're comfortable with your new friend
and then I forgotten?

how poor I am

I'm not mad at you
sure
but
in fact you make me disappointed

disappointed
very very disappointed

disappointed with what you've done to me
disappointed to state that you've given me

but one thing you should know
I'm still here
and will always be here for you
my friend
my enemy
my dearest
my sister
my teacher
my favourite
my buddy,

otis
boyo
suganda


*yuni tamara

bindi's grace the top of her mocha forehead.
wrist draped with bangles.      African soul.
style so Afrocentric
             afro so black panther
fist high in the air she is black pride. she embraces the motherland with open arms and is proud of her heritage. music notes hidden in the blacks of her eye. she is music. hiphop and r&b.;
tupac's  lyrics ingraved on her tongue. words of left eye instilled in her brain.
              music gives her life.
voice of an angel yet  she stays mute. black ink at her fingertips and a notebook always at her side. she is a lyrisit. she is sassy. press the wrong button and she's gone for a moment but will soon comeback to earth. a beautiful quiet vibrant soul she is indeed.  stubborn and mean at times but still as sweet as the refreshing taste of lemonade on a hot summers day.
she is Africa. she is India. she is Haiti. she is black pride. she is music. she is poetry. she is wonderful. she is comical. she is lovely. she is classy.
she is my big sister.                                     O.Rob.

Tamara is slowly dying from aids
She got it passed down from Her ancestors that were enslaved
She quit easily because she had no one to come to her aid 
No doctors no hospitals just a lonely maid 
She's dying what to do?
She's alone without a clue..
She's scared, afraid of death
From inside , out there's close to nothing left
She closed her only eye and asked god why?!
"I'm innocent can't you hear my cry?!" 
There's worse ppl out there why do I have to say goodbye.. 
It's not fair lifes not fair 
My personality is way passed rare , but No one else cares 
its just pointless
Your not a judge so try to point less.. 
She has feelings to she  is  even still god blessed
Just cursed from the devil to never let her soul rest..

No more im done wheres the rope
I'm not pushing on because I lost all hope
She heard the winds voice say nope
She asked again give me the rope I have no more hope,,
I'm alone and I need some to help me cope
Idc if I die just help me through this 
I don't want to be alone through this 
I don't have anyone but I still feel like I miss 
Someone..
Just give me a kiss..
No one would take the risk
Except one..
Never thought exist
A powerful holy son
Gave her a kiss..
Now Tamara sleeps in heaven with nothing to miss.....

HER *****
dedicated to Tamara

Her *****...so swollen....so full

Bulging beneath her blouse

Straining against her huge nursing bra

I long to suckle her deeply, till the end of time itself

Her ******* thicken....becoming so *****

She sighs deeply....her let-down gently washes over her

She smiles...guiding my hands as we unbutton her blouse

Her ***** takes my breath away

Her bulging cleavage qiuvers at my touch

Engorged.....veined

I bury my face....my lust.... in her *****

Savoring her womanhood

She unhooks a cup....her huge ****** weeping

Longing for my hunger

I suckle her deeply....lovingly....wantonly

Her warm milk, life's sweet nectar

Flows...flows......flows...flows

Feeding my desire...feeding my love for her

My love for the warmth of her *****

Someday we will have DJs at funerals.
I should know. I DJ'd a wedding once.
Well I shan't say I DJ'd the wedding.
I merely pressed play on the tiny boom box (SONY) and here comes the bride.
Twas a beautiful wedding.
A black wedding.
The bride was my first cousin Tamara.
Yes the whole thing was beautiful.
Stop it already.

A scant 4 years later I attended her death.
A rainy morning.
A call.
Awoken early
the morning sun not up.

I have a photograph taken July 27, 2003 maybe!
My brother her sister and I on a Carribean cruise. I'm sticking a tongue out. I was mad at the fine Bahamian wearing fake dreads making money by posing for photos for the non-natives. But if you bypass my tongue in the photograph you can see her. You can see the foursome of us smiling with some random Bahamian fake dread.

If you look slightly left in the photograph you can see her smile.
Her smile.
Her joie de vivre.

A moment if you will allow me. Away from the boat the Bahamian boys would not leave her alone. They would whistle, catcall, stare and menace. But she was my family. She was my cousin. Her protector and her friend. Those boys' eyes would follow us. But when I held her hand down the boardwalk they did not dare come within punching distance.

I will refrain from her beauty.
Her elegance.
Her ability to tell me to 'shut the **** up' with only a glance.

Somewhere buried I have the video of her wedding.
I can't watch it anymore but perhaps I should.
I need to see her happy again.
Beautiful again and
looking forward.


United States

You enticed me, your neighbor,
Newly moved in right upstairs
With aromas of your cooking.
And you invited me to share.
We started then to get close
Like brother and sister were we
That had different parents
But still becoming family.

I ******* about all and sundry
You smiled and said let it go.
I complained about the heat
You laughed and told me “Go
Down to the beach and play;
Get wet and come on back
Then remember Missouri
And see what little you lack.”

And, nobody laughed so,
Delighted with my every jest.
Never remembered punch lines
Yet swore mine were the best.
If I passed near her doorway
I was urged to come inside.
This was the very doorway
Where camaraderie did abide.

So, for a decade we took
Samples of what we cooked
Up and down the stairs
To each other and each took
That deep and abiding pleasure
Of having someone upstairs
Who had that cup of sugar
Or that butter we could share.

I live today with gratitude;
I was blessed, for however long
To listen to the lovely music
Of friendship’s gentle song.
I will miss the coffee shops
And boulevard people watching.
I need to stop this for now as
My throat seems to be catching.

You can just
get out of my face.

Your response to
some one not liking you,
is to not like them back.

Here's a thought,
why don't you try
changing the way you act.

You may be a friend of a friend
but that alone does not garner respect.

I call you 'Tomorrow' because
that's when I want to see you
and every body knows
tomorrow never comes.

You had better hope
that some of the things
that you say come back to haunt you
because nowadays not too many
even what to say boo to you.


© 2012

All rights reserved.

Go the distance

Lord you know we lost one of our own today a young mother with four babies under seven reminiscent of robin out home had five
Jesus this is what everyone living faces I need to speak I don’t neglect them I never look at them with shallow looks my interest are
Their eternal souls this is occurrence calls for self examination taking spiritual inventory but lord my soul is dry only dust lies where rich
Waters should be standing then though I clean out the debris it comes blown in daily by the world that is fallen its power its influence
Fanned by our enemy the devil welcomed by our fallen nature I stood in the shower and wept bitter tears standing against a natural
Wall but it makes me know I am at the wall of my soul I was going to consult metaphysical books to address soulful areas I have
Lincoln and Jefferson books here they lived lives of great difficulty from this uttered words of reason that still burn and scorch time
And places where mundane edifices needed clearing and replaced with structures that held magnificence as there enduring building
Material please let me see and hear the spiritual waters flowing into my soul that it fills then over flows out to the needy the hopeless
And the helpless they have to go the distance all else is fearful and treacherous ground live a lifetime and then to late discover it only
Led to ruin take off the blinders put on spiritual glasses read the word realize the showers of blessings that are promised we have to go
Back to childhood no adult would think about standing in the rain but what trills and fun we used to know the banging thunder we used
To say angels dropped a vegetable in heaven off of a wagon then wet freezing run up on the porch warm up physically but also on the
Inside talking to one another how wonderful we go to church feel your spirit know and feel such sweetness outwardly all the way
Down in our souls no experience on earth compares whats the problem all of our loved ones from school and life are at home
Watching some drivel being spoon fed some harmful leads they create desires that will finally place you in insurmountable
Circumstances the no way out death trap while our blessing is sweet all consuming instructive peaceful like dreams of high lovely
Nature yes we get attacked in quick order but those blessings were fortifying it put armor about your life and concerns are quickly
Dissolved in holy prayer and meditations someone setting on the couch or worse a bar stool misses these protective modes that
Create survival and success only problem he still has to go the distance provide and guide his family but with inferior ineffective
Means of support he is soon over whelmed and leads to more drinking and instability and eventually dire straits and then complete
Collapse we need reinforcement in a true sense spread the word of God before you walk then your steps will be sure and it will be a
Lamp unto your feet we are in a darkened troubled world caution steadied hands held by divine messengers will win the day and then
The next day at the end it adds up to a life your proud of an the exit unto eternity won’t be terrifying it will be like for Tamara
Electrifying walk from love coming at intervals to the flood your swimming in it and the peace I had this experience my sister died back
Here we spent Christmas at Disneyland was going to stay longer then decided to go on home but just stop in Paso to break up the trip
I believe she died when I was out in the San Sequin valley a storm came up while driving on interstate five all kinds of debris flew up in
Front of the car I had a very eerie feeling I felt something sinister as I went back over the time and it difference to Illinois time it was
When she died we checked in to the the Adelaide inn the room filled with a peace other worldly it was so strong I was actually trying to
See the heavenly visitor who had to be responsible it was so great we stayed extra days we couldn’t leave the song comes to mind
He looked beyond my fault and saw my need I didn’t know but God knew he took care of me without me understanding why that’s’
What I want for all of you that are out of the arc of safety hell was made for the devil but man made it part of his reality by the fall
Jesus is calling no one ever spoke your name like he does please cry to him its eternal rewards hanging in the balance.

She is the devil
in thin disguise,
she will prattle on
"oh the greatness of his being",
but her clothing
is stitched with lies
and her nakedness is obscene.
I call her 'tomorrow'
because that is when
I want to see her.
Everybody knows
tomorrow never comes.


© 2012

In last November 2015 a friend of mine named Bridget died and
Her partner sadly misses her
And on August 12 2016 Bridget
Was reincarnated as Michael Townsend son of Alice and brother of Toby Townsend
You see it is my work as Cronus to bring Bridget back into the world as Michael Townsend
And another mate of mine that died last year was Steve Grigor
And September 6th 2016
Steve Grigor was reincarnated as Ethan felix Vaughan
You see as soon as Steve died
Bridget took him by the hand and they shared many a methane smoothie together
So their bodies can improve the quality of their life and now
Bridget's mother is Alice and Steve is son of Tamara and Henry
Here is a welcome to earth song to Bridget and steve's soul
Welcome welcome welcome
You drink your methane and you have a lot of fun
And now you have been reincarnated into your new life
Death isn't the end
It is a new beginning
So let's party with Michael and Ethan

The wind blows smoke on a darkened day
From a pyre for deeds once done.
I sit in the silence drinking my mead
Shadowed by the dying sun

I watch the phantoms dance the wall
In the grace of one so fare
Wrapped in dusk and a violet mood
With lightening lancing her hair

Why do I stare
She whispers to me
Oh do I dare to show her
All that I see

She catches my mind with a grasping smile
And speaks with gesture of hand
In her eyes I swim the shining sea
And walk the ancient sands

Peace I seek and I found it there
And so here I shall always stay
As starlight blazes from her soul
Only hell shall bar my way

And why do I stare
She whispers to me
Oh do I dare to show her
All that I see

Tamara sat toes strung to sea
Her haggard head hung high
Not by want. With bewildered noticeably

Outstretched hands opened hopelessly
Wounds concealed without concern
The sand fueled the savage feeling

Lying down to lather in deplored thoughts,
Ones too personal to occlude

Time was lost within Tamara
Tamara was lost within time

Lost within the waves
The sand
The sun
And everything in between that drove her insane

Poem 19
19.05.2016,

Explanatory poems with paid advertising included
Facebook, 21.44 scrolling back to 22.24


far away
buzzing
displaying myself and
things alone.

stereotyping
while mocking
stereotypes

a guy named by a famous poet
took pictures of me
somebody pays me to be and so I am in
this
landscape.

I paid the new God to advertise here.
21 of your friends like God,
his digital skills
In my online
free courses.

The burden of too much, I say.
Simplifying childhood may
protect us against mental health issues.
Raised well.
This life hurts
the bright side of me
I no longer have patience for.
Please, somebody give me a lemon
Just in case.

I feel sick of him
talking about bribery
but I eat news.
Arterial pressure.
How not to…it’s almost a miracle.

A fox is licking a screen.
falling in love with foxes.
it's funny that
my favourite place to see
my own photos is
a radio station,
at least so
far: a
military footprint.

Saltwater battery
can power your off the grid home
for 10 years. My dear, I
love you! Your daddy loves you. I’m sorry I
was trying to do something I
am writing it now
so I
can make myself heard.
Herd
live politics.
my life seems rich and unhappy
for a reason.

I’m El. so I paid
and I’m here.
Gigi Hadid analogy
with curves.

An image stuffed with birds.
Flying. Eating. Flamingo.
Wow.
I share memories.
Of my life. I
live from my memories. I
eat them. Insights
that become reality
thanks to people
they get a super network,
with generosity.
I work.
Tragedy happened.

Sold out
I support
victims of ‬fire.
There will be no fish in the ocean
in less than 40 years.
What is in essence
the difference between
the USSR
and
Germany during World War II
As a very witty response
to popular safety myths.
I should let my kid do at least 5
dangerous things.
Hopper.
I see pictures of
overpopulation and overconsumption
Tamara in Beverly Hills
advertising herself and her paintings
in black and white.

I’m new Y. I paid to be here.
Like me.
Subscribe and
get 12 weeks for just $12.
Plus, get a free tote bag.

Happiness is
reading a book
Drinking tea
I acknowledge somebody wrote
something about
what I imagine I successfully perform
so I’m writing
something about
making a popcorn live show.
Artists. Celebrities.
Love. Amazing.
It’s so great these people exist
so I can share
words of wisdom and beauty
A selfie of
my mom.
I put flowers in her hair.
Kids are educated in centers
meanwhile
Somebody important with
a name
we all know
once said
something
significant
so
I’m posting it here.

I sit
In front of your gate I sit

Many of your walls clear the clouds
While other tops are underground
But there is no where else I'd rather be

In front of your gate

The place of sacred permission
All for a chance
A chance to behold
The source of your light

Very for its very warmth alone
Has captivated me

So I sit

Legs crossed
Spine straight
Palms open
Resting upon my knees
They are not stretch in tension

Yet
They
Go on...

Like fields of suflowers awaiting your light

My eyes are open but please believe me when I say
I need not sight to perceive your brightness

My ears are open
I dedicated to your speech
And the other
To my own heartbeat

Cause, the heart better understands
How silence speaks

And my soul
Has taken hold of my breathe
My tounge
My lips
So Love drips and it pours

Warm like summer rain

Oh guardian of the gate
You might have heard them say that
This one
Is a madman

And if Madness
is Love for the light we all have within
Then
I
Am a madman
And this madness
Is bliss

So if you wish
Put your swords upon my throat
Your spears to my heart
Arrows aimed at my head
I mind not

But please
Please
Allow me to sit here
Speaking of the madness that is light
And Love

But if you wish for me to leave
I will leave
Spine straight
Palms open

Like fields of sunflowers
Awaiting your light.