Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
Ann M Johnson Oct 2014
Sven and Olie died and went to Hell. After awhile, the Devil came by to see how his new guests were doing. To his amazement, he found Sven and Olie were still wearing their winter gear and seemed to be quite comfortable. The Devil asked why they weren't hot.
Olie replied, "We come from Minnesota where it's always cold. This is feeling pretty good to us." This upset the Devil, so he turned up the thermostat. Awhile later the Devil looked in again on Sven and Olie. To his surprise he found they were still wearing their winter gear. The Devil questioned them on it again. "You have to remember that we are from Minnesota and it's very, very cold there. This is feeling nice to us."
The Devil was even madder at this, so he turned the thermostat all the way up to maximum temperature. The Devil waited some time and then went back to Sven and Olie. This time he found they had only unzipped their coats, but still had all their winter clothes on. The Devil couldn't understand what was going on. The punishment down here was supposed to be the unbearable heat. It wasn't working on these two. He had to ask again what the deal was. Sven replied, "We are Minnesotans and we just got over a freezing winter. This is really great for Olie and Me.
A light flickered in the Devil's mind. He went to the thermostat and turned it off. He thought if the heat wasn't a punishment, maybe he'd give them some freezing temperatures. A little while later the Devil came back to check in on Sven and Olie only to find them cheering and giving each other high fives, happier than ever! The Devil questioned them on their actions and Sven said happily, "Back home they always said, the Vikings will win the Super Bowl when Hell freezes over!!!"

source: http://www.jokebuddha.com/Minnesota#ixzz3Ge5tdz3A
I am sharing one of my favorite Minnesota  jokes.
Lawrence Hall Aug 2018
An Open Letter to Really Important People
                     The Old Dime Box, Texas Statement
           A Manifesto Made Manifest in Manifesting Manifestingness

We post this serious looking document
Bloated with long vocabulary words
Sodden with weak dependent clauses
Marshaled in numbered ranks, down, down they go

To the GossipNet all serious like
And everyone has to pay attention to us
Because it’s AN OPEN LETTER, y’know -
You may sign it if you’ve got letters behind your name

Signatories:

Apostle-Disciple Magic Dawn, DD., Non-Binary, Author of Green Polar Bears I Am, Co-Equal-Director of the Anti-Oppressionist Theatre Against the Occupation, Agent of the Revolution, Auteur, Guest on The Wheel of Fortune and Parent of Two AMAZING children of indeterminate Gender with Their AWESOME and AMAZING Life-Partner Sven-Marie.

Massive Ferguson, M.Ed., Poet, Rector of Admissions, The University of Where the Old Circuit City Use to Be

Poncy Tworbst, M.A., PUBLISHED Author, Seeker, Inspirational Singer-Songwriter, PUBLISHED

Heather-Mistee La’ Thwitte-Tworbst, Ph.D., Director of Library Resources at Saint Margaret ****** Homeschool Resource Authority Collective, Inc., Certified Ordained Consecrated Priest in The Worldwide Church of Me-ness and Pastor of the World-Famous Weddings ‘R’ Us Chapel of Rainbow Dreams in Magdalena, New Mexico

Lawrence Hall, HSG, Thinker of Thinky-Ness and, Like, Stuff, Endowed Chair he found at Goodwill, His Mark: X

(Sean Ian Johann Johnson, MBA, J.D., Chief Photocopier Operator at Donald Trump University and Fashion Editor at Gun, God, and Guts Magazine, was not able to sign today; he is sharing a cell with other White House staff and patiently awaiting The Day of Greatness.)
Your ‘umble scrivener’s site is:
Reactionarydrivel.blogspot.com.
It’s not at all reactionary, tho’ it might be drivel.
Nicole Bataclan May 2014
Dance
Like you do not have a care
In the world
Dance
Like it is the only thing you care about
In this world
Of all ages
From many
Different places
We come together
Just for you
We become one
Tonight
For this music
We all love
To pursue
We are Generation Sven
You create the magic
And we are here
To dance.
Tommy Johnson Jun 2014
I remember it well
As if it were yesterday
We geared up and set sail
And embarked upon unfamiliar waves

It was I captaining the vessel
With One-eyed Sven my quarter master
He could cut throats and roll pretzels
His weapon of choice was his bow caster

This wasn't a mission of plundering
That alone left the crew in a state of wondering
No, we weren't looking for buried treasure
But for sheep skin seat covers and Scandinavian leather

My first mate Mr. Obanion said to me
"Captain are we off course?"
Then my boatswain , Wiley asked sheepishly
"Aren't we going for *** and ******?"

I looked them in the eye at the same time
"Gentlemen, this ship is headed to Dublin"
"We're going to see a good friend of mine"
"Now get back to your swabbing and scrubbing"

This was an order of business not some sort of cruise
I'm sailing with a ship of one track minded fools
We didn't set out on a vacation of leisure
Were on the hunt for sheep skin seat covers and Scandinavian leather

I did not mean to keep them in the dark
But they would think less of me
I needed these things
For the women I married

You see we'd been on the rocks
And I know she wanted these items
So I went over the sea with a fine tooth comb
Until I had finally found them

My men had sailed endlessly for months
They were worn down and ragged
Waterlogged and exhausted
While I always came up empty handed

But I had to save my marriage
Salvage my relationship
I knew it would work
If I gave my love these gifts

We reached the golden, calling shore
Of the beautiful Dublin
From the River Liffey and headed north
My friend Seamus let me come in

I came out shaking his hand
I was satisfied with my purchase
Until I was questioned by my men
What it was we came for in our searches

I had to show them, I was under scrutiny
I pulled out two stagecoach seat covers and a pair of pants
They were enraged and called mutiny
They blindfolded me and bound my hands

Now I'm marooned on some unmapped island
And I see my ship riding that horizon
This will sadden my wife, oh how it will upset her
She will never receive her sheep skin seat covers or her Scandinavian leather
The best mistake I ever made
Was opening that tattered black book

There I sat in a pub
On a mission to forget the world

6 or 7 drinks in
and a bartender all to happy
To pour what ever the roulette produced

thumb, thumb, flip
flip flip

Stop

Category is shots

To the new friend next to me
"why yes, I am to get **** faced"

"oh, you came here for just an occasion"
"well dear sir if you are brave enough next ones on me"

"Hot ****!" he exclaimed

As I close my eyes and say a silent prayer

I slowly count 4 pages
and place my finger on the page

I call Gwendolyn over and request
With eyes closed the item of my demise

"***!"
She cried

"I love ya but I won't do that to you"

I slurily open my eyes and focus

MEXICAN BLACK JACK

1 part tequila
2 parts whiskey
151 floater

"Double Shot"

I think out loud

whats a lil' ta'****-ya?

vhiskey? bah.

151 it's just a floater ppppssssshhhhhhh

After a few minutes of convincing
With many a hoot and holler
From my new friends

She takes my keys and reluctantly agrees
Even kindly offers me a chaser and some limes

I will not forsake the liquor gods

Ever get a whiff of turpentine and diesel?
Well that could be gardenias compared to this.

I sit in silence sniffing it
eyes closed lapping at it with my nostrils

I look over at my new buddy
"well chuckles it's now or never ready for this lil' endeavor?"

"Well ****" he muttered "I'm a man of my word"

"to life" I exclaimed

head back as that little bit of ******
started it's course
over my tongue into the throat
(why are my sinus' burning?)
don't breath boy
(you know better)
don't
you

eyes pop
and just on cue
flame ever rendering flames

I'm not blind
I'm not blind
I'm not blind

ok I was just squinting
really hard

I look over and my new friend
is now drinking my free chaser.

my game my pain...

Hey Sven leh's go again...

It's a good thing she loves me
I complain to no one

if she hated me I don't think I'd drink here.

2
hours and
4
shots later

I needed a nap good thing the loo was warm

I salute you Sir BlackJack and when I call your name
It's never in vain
Nicole Bataclan Mar 2012
Berlin, Berlin, it was love at first sight
All senses synchronized, bass to the heart.
People of all walks of life danced to the beat,
Tresor was on fire, I can still feel the heat.

Since then, it is electronic music
That fuels me; provides the everyday kick.
Hours of tech house, minimal and techno --
Never a day without, I'm always in awe.

I need Ibiza every summer,
Cocoon each time; Hive, never a ******.
Richie forever! The great Papa Sven!
It is falling in love, again and again.

So electronic music doesn't care much
About image or status; petty things as such
You have to lose yourself in the music
That's all that matters, soul and rhythm that click.

The ones who really know, they understand
How I feel is unique: my horizons expand.
It's crazy how it has shaped my being,
I'm thankful for it, you're my everything.
judy smith Aug 2016
Andrew Gn

Probably the most prolific Singaporean designer, Gn graduated from the renowned Saint Martins School of Art and Design in London and the Domus Academy in Milan before joining Emanuel Ungaro in 1992. He launched his namesake label in 1996, establishing a fan base among the Parisian high society and A-list celebrities such as Jessica de Rothschild and Sarah Jessica Parker for his luxurious fabrics and exquisite embellishments. Gn was awarded the President’s Design Award in 2007 and is stocked in all the major continents, with his atelier based in the Le Marais district in Paris.

Ashley Isham

The other Singaporean high fashion designer to hit big time in the international circuit, Isham established his namesake label in London in 2000, and is a show fixture at London Fashion Week. The label is known for its sharp, contemporary tailoring and high-octane glamour, and is a hit among film, TV and music stars as well as British royalty.

Aijek

Self-taught designer Danelle Woo creates easy-breezy, ultra-feminine pieces in sustainable fabrics. Aijek is stocked at multi-label boutiques in China, Hong Kong, Malaysia, Indonesia, Latin America, the Middle East and the United States.

Depression

The neo-Gothic ready-to-wear label’s stark, minimalist designs are stocked in Hong Kong, Belgium, Japan and the U.S., and counts celebrities like Adam Lambert and The Black-Eyed Peas as fans.

Sabrina Goh

The feted Singaporean designer stocks her easy-to-wear pieces from her namesake label at multi-label boutiques in the United States, the Fred Segal store in Japan and a London-based online store Not Just A Label.

Max Tan

The avant-garde label features experimental silhouettes and a contemporary artistic flair, and is stocked in Europe, the Middle East, San Francisco and Taiwan.

Benjamin Barker

This stylish menswear brand founded by designer Nelson Yap in 2009 now has two stores in Melbourne and offers custom tailoring as well. It also offers shipping to Australia and New Zealand via its website BenjaminBarker.co. .

In Good Company

The well-loved minimalist label with unusual silhouettes fronted by designers Sven Tan and Kane Tan is stocked in Hong Kong at Kapok, at various departmental stores in Jakarta, Indonesia, including Sogo, Seibu and Galleries Lafayette Jakarta and in New York’s Saks Fifth Avenue.Read more at:http://www.marieaustralia.com/formal-dresses-sydney | www.marieaustralia.com/formal-dresses-brisbane
Vanessa Oct 2015
Wild mustangs running free
"Mother, when will I be free?"
She looked at me and paused
"Don't you feel free now?"
What does she think of me?!
I'm not free!
I can't run around being happy
I can't have a saying in anything for my environment
But my loved one is free
Sven is free
He runs and plays with his other friends
He gets to be with ones who care about him
Will I be free like him?
Someday I will be free.
this is about my horse, Sven. He's a half mustang and half Clydesdale. He's 16.3 hh and he's 14.
Jenny JF Apr 2016
NaPoWriMo 2016 - Day 21 - Poem from a minor character in a fairy tale.

Oh Grandma

Well m'dears,
I never fancied a care home, or
meals on wheels.
With a shrivelled up lump
Of God's knows what.
Delivered twice a day.

But I'm blessed.
With family who
look after me,
in their own way.
My daughter sends her girl
every couple of day with a basket full of "goodies".

I don't know who is more feckless mind.
Her mother who dresses her up
in a stupid red cape.
Or the child who can't follow
simple instructions.
Go straight to grandma's cottage.
Do not talk to strangers.

Anyhoo, I lay there,
my stomach thinking
my throats been cut.
When I here a knock at the door.
I remind the idiot child
the door is on the latch.
My hips too dodgy to be getting up and down.
This suspect looking character
saunters in.
All big eyes, big ears, big teeth
Now I'm old, but no fool
I says "you're a..."

Before I've got a word out.
That great slathering beast
Gobbles me up.
Not so much a by your leave
No one respects their elders these days.

To add insult to injury.
He starts cavorting about
In MY nightie.
Now, I'm not one to judge
What a slathering beast does
Behind closed doors is his own affair.
But it was my best flannelette
He ripped the buttons right off, the brute.

Half an hour later my granddaughter,
Little miss take your own sweet time comes along.
Now I've mentioned she's not
the sharpest ax in the woodshed.

Well she gives Mr Wolf, my cake, my wine.
Then, after his washed that down, THEN, she gets an inkling something MIGHT be amiss.
I can hear all this from the cavernous belly of the wolf.

Oh grandma what BIG eyes, ears, teeth, you know the story.
Is she blind?
His a 6ft humanoid wolf.
In drag.
I'm 4ft nothing.
I've bounced that girl since she was a babe in arms.
Ok, perhaps once or twice I MAY have dropped her on her head.
But to not recognise her own grandmother.

Well long story short
There is a scuffle
A local arborist is passing.
Sweeps in saves the day.
Gives old wolfy a taste of cold steel.
Felling him from crown to toe.
I flop out like a wriggling infant.

I've come to see it,
as a rebirth.
A second chance of life if you will.
I'm carpe dieming and seizing what fishes I can catch.
I've sold the cottage, me and Sven the wandering arborist are shacking up together.
People say it's shocking
That he's only after me for my money.
But it beats feckless family or sheltered accommodation
Plus I've got a nice fur stole
Much more fetching than a Red Riding Hood.
Why Jul 2014
You can see the magic happen,
In every little way,
From when she makes Olaf,
To when they are skating.

When you smile because of Olaf,
When you start to hate Prince Hans,
When Kristoff and Anna kiss,
When Sven acts like a model.

These are the moments,
Our hearts say aw,
We laugh and enjoy,
Cause life is just going by.
Rich Hues Apr 2019
He was a Swede called Sven
With an industrially scaled *******,
She was a pensioner from Hull
With an extensive *** toy collection.

They both shared an interest in cats
So they opened a chain of catteries,
Then Sven took care of her *****
And she saved a fortune in batteries.
#monday
Yindrachapa Nov 2019
Most hated places i hate to leave.
Very few in square meters a rectangular shaped
It has its own environment from a tungsten tomas made sun
Probably Tesla if they had not shaken hands on things

Cage for a man of my diameter
One of the hottest places on earth
Even under the rain,
Tesla ensures sweats
Yet, they are not felt
, And dancing manoeuvres are limited

The portal for all
To travel from bigbang to sven suns
To discharge all emotions
To refresh and recharge
And the witch doctor to all evil

Second to none
Prehabs to the berth which is all angel
Yet, this portal known to both evil and angel may be the most underrated places in universe..
The Beit Hamikdash temple raised crowds after receiving crucibles that descended from the confines of the Duoverse, bringing praises that sustained high temperatures that the major star returned with immeasurable distances in its annals of light, gutting itself in the ravages that converged thousands of illicit that were not able to bear light in wicked after completing them. The sedition was vitiated towards those with the sight that was thrown from the temple, shining in the Vexillum motto that brought all the legions from the garden with all the Falangists, invoking comfort to the last soldier who had no balms to warn them in billions of years light, for all who exhorted the name of the Mashiach. The trans-angelic conception was making vows on Patmos by admitting that the fight had not offended the twelfth men of the Meshuva, appropriating altars that were suitable to support on their feet that have been ..., and that have been aligned umpteenth times from Egypt to Patmos, when canopies heal them from fruitless heartburn, in which oblations resurrect from what serves those who are served, in this way all bronze and iron armor were requisitioned and sheathed in the quagmire of Hades, from which the animals went out to graze on dog days that turned into herbs of Gehenna, witnessing expiations that were curled through meadows, when sheep and rams have been seen that undulate on plantations as if they were devotions that dry the beam in everything, with what is obtained in his true faith of the ministry of error and error conceived as a universe that is subtracted from the clister of the Iblis converted from the lung of the Colosso de Apsila a thousand times, until all s the disobediences of those who slumber with useless geniuses, being neat beings that strip them of the fig tree like winged specimens, rescinating one that will be delimited by the end of it itself when approaching the sink.

They looked with suspicious fear at the sliced thumb of a ministry that sent everyone to lament over uncaused injuries, but the entelechy made a relief of resilience, sending those who have to fight for lost lines in annals of past life, hardened by the Kashmar that bears the exulcers of its dying star. The Aeonium as foliages carry the Biblidacea species of the lullaby of the Vernarth Garden on the Eudicotyledonous axon, where the aquatic ones will bring sub-shrubs with regal pride that resists the albardín of Judas, appetizing in its ****** as an affliction of YH VH of the Mashiach (Yod Hei Vav Hei), constituting Northwest Africa, with succulent etymology when trying to transfigure into diasporas of harassment of the body that make a simple arrangement in basal rosettes that drain nirvana, and that fragrant toast the flowers that are faithful servitudes with androgynous light that all the sacred names of the Moshiach matriarchy profess in what Is and Is not! With a little chalice desoldered from the base, the collector was grasped and adhered, which reaps its sunken follicles, in particular of its luminous atrophy repaired in the scarce flashes where only a Mashiach will put nimble bifurcation photons for others who assiduously do the brush on his macula altar of the cult cluster hybridization process.

Taxonomy innovated with crass predestinations after the eruption of the Colosso of Apsila, wanting to uncover living cells from the succumbed ones, when Kairós ruled the Sven Tzora flint in those that were to be toned, which was softened by Aeonium flowers as it grew on stones that were a hundredfold in size. Judas's footsteps after putting the leash on his neck generating stained, and away from the Garden of Vernarth, resigning protruding fingers in his right hand with the connecting ruse that made him stick to the knot, closing his deadly phalanxes and flooding the scaphoid with coagulated blood black, who had never been lowered from the inviolable lineage in songs of her death ...! He confessed to the Lord in putting care about it when his mother spoke to him of the vision in El Manyi, by twelfth spirits that led him along his disciplic shoulder of stoning, towards the thick palace where no one lives, only noises would silence the one who speaks worth seeing his apostasy.

Patmia moaned of its lines not sheltered in wayward stars with pale shades, and gentle automatons that freed themselves from their convenient matrix, where no affection has been contemplated in eternal individuals who were torn from the eternal celestial sky of Patmia, now it will be necessary to fill new reformatories of the same eon, behind fetish parapets and intervals of organic matter, giving drink to their cattle and fodder for the lost, among so many who are only servants of those who survive against the followers, until the finite point in which all will have to surrender. To the Ophiucus of the thirteenth ladder of Judas, being ruled by his lateral right discernment with the costly salvation, then the dimensional right hemisphere will be the house that will have to replace him in Aquarius, with evanescent compassionate tragediography, after being cursed in his skillful ascent slipping away by a self-generated destiny. Extensive and limited fiefdoms debased themselves of their greatness after the beauties of the aurum were exhibited, restraining themselves from the invisible third of the transient of breath never guessed. Syntagmas crews facilitated their angelologies by allowing Cereola or Plum to the great darkness that will empty everything from its entrails, with pictures on the first cusp that took the golden diametral segment of the "V", resounding in Nativity prior to incorruptible perspective approaches from a streak that was stowed at forty-five degrees with the affinity of the tangent.

Vernarth's vision approach was subdivided into three hundred and sixty firmaments, giving undaunted competition to his cyclic stealth, also worshiping stealth quantum itself, asserting trans-dimensional quantum millionths for its stirrups, and worshiping immaterial dimensions, of which the Peri Kosmous paternalized. With three hundred and sixty lanterns that will refer to the awareness of the stolon of the Aeonium Virgineum in the garden of Vernarth. The channeling will resemble the generalities of the Apostle Santiago lighting lotions of the Virgineum in his discreet habit, full of Capernaum pollen, uprooting large notches and thick actions with oversized stolons in the expanding universe, along with the annals that were deconfigured into uncontrolled units. Blackish, spatulating and welding the limits of the universe of Patmia, united by expectors that sprouted from the Colosso de Apsila when its pectoral was abrogated. Simultaneously through its mouth, the secretion would make the entire island a sub-species that would ignore the cognition of hatred of internations and dogmas, given the discharges that denoted climatic changes that were creating the intensity that was noted in lack of wisdom, polarizing pubescent stages of geological and theological maturity, in the intricate dichotomy of the Colosso that brought a direct relationship, concealing the upper and lower northeast and the sub-lower world of Vóreios, which was adding minutes to devour, and that will express the purest change of the axial. The expletive of climate change was establishing itself in the Kassotides Omphalo, which is nothing more than another symmetrical purge pectoral of the Colosso de Apsila, enthronement of the previous superior superficial major, leaving the other anterior part of the sternum with the physical enclave, irrigated by arteries of the Bumodos and the Eygues, zoning subcutaneous macro conformations, and analogously making the Valdaine that comes closer from the narrow streams with the Ibex in Chauvet, of Wonthelimar.
Battle of Patmia Part V
The Hoplites were guided by only eleven stars, the twelfth was in the sven tzora flint until the Vernagenesis tessitura, the cerebral plasticity of the warriors made many abrasive connections with their swords causing environmental circles when they were all running in terror towards the roadstead. by the specific slopes of Patmos, when he saw that from the height of the Profitis the subsequent prunings of infinity were released, bringing Brisehal from Dash-e-Lut towards the huge heights, re-pruning all the quantitative scattering of all the troops that were locked in the sea and in the spirits where they were blocked by strengthening some and weakening others, governed minimax that was put on an expedition and that was substantial in the disproportionate brain of the impiety of the Colosso de Sapsila, and a clone of Vernarth that had been erected more than four km high. The magnetic enclosure acoustics made them withdraw into the prefrontal of the Profitis Ilias, distancing themselves from the cortex that managed to differentiate themselves from the colossal walk after a few steps in the front of Brisehal, surpassing the prototypes of an ogre that was instantiated in self-reference by pointing with its index more above his shoulders, where his head reaches the upper border in the lower clouds, creating the phase of bellicose adaptability to intuitively define the complexity of knowing how to reintegrate with his dramatized stature, as he perceives that the basic cognitive characteristics were clouded in the pathology of a Kosmous that was in the final portion of its quarrelsome load, but at the same time remarkable of gray matter that was exalted towards the fifth hell of the Íblis, only confronting them with complexity in the face of all the morbidities that are not suitable to delve further from their own evils that are adverse to it. The cortical of the colossus archaeological specimen of Apsila, complexed the areas of myelination in the contrasting axons of this super being, from the guideline where all the Archangels, Cherubim and Seraphim were found. Evolution advanced with great scrupulousness on its part to show from the heights for those who were only destined to lavish blood that does not afflict them, instead, the colossus systematized its cortical areas to uncomplex what they had to forge after the battle epilogue, to unify Muslims and Orthodox in salvific lines making them and taking them through wastelands of the time of Kairos that rested in the grasses on a gallery of strawberries, where he showed to each side the rattle of the field patronage of Vernarth's myelin axon, signaling to them that he had already been part of the dump trucks that crushed the conical threshold of their time spheres.

After this release of anachronism, everyone looked to limbo seeing that thunder and lightning and electromagnetic volatilizations that became more complex between Vernarth, the Colosso of Sapsila, and Brisehal; the great giant of Vernarth who would wallow on the earth to indoctrinate himself in chemical ablution in the silicas gradually after the heterochronic abscess in both huge beings, who began to notice the apologetic reductions and corpulence to slow down the motor distortion between both, thus avoiding the hecatomb of the Peri Kousmos Patmiano with more than forty kilometers around. The time adaptation means veiled the elemental processes of time, causing full dawn to begin to darken immediately, realizing that the Kairos strawberries legitimized the ephemeral haste that could create a detriment to the epidermis of Muslims. The diplomacies of adaptation became full and basic again in the motor activity of the giants, surpassing the high cirrus clouds, delineating the maturation of the left hemisphere of Kairos, and warning neuroscience in the criterion of the ontological implication that saved the world and its species without reaching a conflagration of the flow, where only the multi-directionality will have to point out the passages that prevent them from the contingent, only approving the shortcuts that awaken the Eruv with the use of divine Kashmar, which would raise them over its charred branches with fragrant gum resin in the opening of the mantle of the Seventh Heaven. The nets would dislocate near some dry streams that were still in the possession of some armories that made synapses in the extreme of those who were freed from the fourth and precocious hyperstimulation of those who had omitted to return together with their loved ones, laying down obedience to a prince who only spoke of the good in the clyster of the Íblis, wanting to carry them on the alpha and alef waves, to raise the volts in the reaction chamber of the Colossus of Sapsila, in order to try to save a medium number of thousands of soldiers who were already in the early fight of Patmia. The cycles were overcome by the scalability of subjugation of the controversy, which in these satisfactions would be a matter of maximization and incitement of war, which had already exceeded the cabotage lines of the ships that did not disembark.
Colossus of Apsila
(alternate title – the grudge holder from one generation to the next for all intents and purposes remains the same, and thus interestingly enough, they can easily be a pinch hitter for man, woman, and/or child feeling resentment since dawn (or eventual dusk) of civilization and dominant species experiences discontents.

Hotmail outlook grim, viz beholding
     warp and woof reconciliation,  
     at social gatherings time and agin
mass elf listened to threnody
     inducing dot bin
reiterated within earshot,
     when this then mortal mwm
     clocked LVIII Earthlinked

     round the sun, while he
     tugged hairs on
     his chinny chin chin
now clearly informs thyself,
     how genealogical
     weave incorporating din
gee, holey, bunched
     gaps rendering incomplete

      thine quilted worm,
     and moth eaten
     delicate webbed weave  
     thread bare fabric
     evinces absent majority descendents,
     not more'n two generations past
equally substantially rotten produce
     junction bore inquisitiveness

     upon approaching mine
     middle adult existence
     details known istenig to WXPN  
I **** a boot
     thirteen (NOT shoesize),
     benchmarked with virulent yen
twittering, snapchatting, instagramming
Bugaboo gainsaid, infiltrated subUrban

bedroom and kindled pinterest the
reddit lee making me
     an outcast with Penny
Sylph Vanya (amidst prickly
     Poker Flats of
     Lake Woebegone), when
trumpet call to
     ***** an invisible

     omnipotent fence still
     did not obstruct hearty ten
to cros the Rio Grande
     among strong men
many sharing first name Sven
purportedly related moost every one
     placed when newborn among
     one of many scattered orphan

(deliberate poisoned, sans scorpian
     subsequently kid
     napped by vested gentry,
     who shared microscopic strands
     plus CRISPR DNA
     compliments of Ken
and Barbie, nonetheless forced
     as stoop labor for

     Skull and Crossbones alumni)
passed along ancestral line when
**** sure rooster spent
     however long with a hen
     guaranteed supply grunt workers    
oxymorons helpless to get even.
“Bosses” male ordure
     trained as prospective

     male pecking wives,
     who with Robbie
     didst rig the game to win
endemic nepotism deeply entwined
     from one to the next kith and/or kin,
rode shotgun, viz nemesis
     resorting to: “silent treatment”
against protesting lumpenproletariat

     boot gnome hatch
     against hardy thrive
     off crene della creme limn
back before thyme
     bred from for
     gotten slight, min
us school Kudzu, gone

     now and agin
gastronomically ferociously carniverous
     selected and enveloped
     postal stamping brutes
     rampant suffocating nin
come poops figurative
     thorn in side of aristocracy
     heavy-duty industrial strength

     pesky original pin
sir blithely festered,
     nursed, and stewed
     from unforgotten
     perceived or actual slight
engendering infinite yawning voids
     defying aid of Patch Adams
     or Doctor Quinn.
I hear the novel scream,
Good animals of Sven
The war is still descending
With the rain
To piece into the grounds
And splash o to the asphalt that will spill
A Word or two on the cries of a soul
That lived with the intensity of natural tempests
Caro Jan 2020
Reminding me of London
Nightmares huffing afoot
Freezing cold
And far too sold
To wipe my hands of soot

Leggings tugging at my legs
In their cloth pockets
Bunching behind my knees
Restricting my relaxation
Stretching out all wrong
My knees will be baggy in baggage claim
No matter I’m here now
As you shiver there by my side
A touch is a touch is a touch too much
Wailing indistinct won’t subside

Detachment in the whites of my eyes
Devotion dripping from my cornea  
Doppelgänger in another life
Singing sweetly the song you crave
She’s named Gloria

No bad memories
Let’s push them away

Naked now in bed and I’m feeling as
Cold brew in Alaska
Try to smile spotting a moose for the first time
How much is not too much to smile at this sighting?

Thinking of Madrid
Your one redeeming quality
your thumbs
Gliding along the coffee mug
In that old woman’s cafe
Aged photos on the wall
The best tomato I’ve ever had
Walking for hours while you called me a *****
Denver
Baltimore
With the gun and the perimeter and the door

Woodbridge
With the spaghetti in my throat
And the tremble in the notes
That you chose to bestow
There I am poised
Delicately
Trying to decide
Which of the two evils
May take my life tonight

Too much time spent in cars
In the cold
On the floor
Being BORED
what a waste

Sad sad sad man
Trauma and oblivion whittle away at your kidney
Doppelgänger in another life just a sheep herder in Sydney.
Perfumed filth,
Even better than I expected,
Now I can bear living with myself,
This body of mine!
Uuh! AH! Fuzz!
Face needing a Venetian mask...
I tried to make one but it turned too small
To cover this face, this lovely face of mine.

Uh! Ah. With so many famished souls out there,
Famished souls looking for *****
To carry the load.
Eat the load, eat the stack of something something good,
Kiss the moons and the stars say: Whoop!
The stars say: "Whoop, Whoop!"
Praise the walk,
The **** walk.
Today I fell in love with the spring,
The spring of Joy in the air,
Flower buds and little Shy leaves
Coming out to embellish the trees.
"Who's sexier now?"

Whoop! Whoop!
Spring of Joy in the air,
Whoop Whoop,
Famished for ***** stare.
Even Sven got out of his spleen.
Whoop, Whoop!
Spring of Joy in the air.
Well Perfumed filth put together ready to walk, moving on singing Motion, pacea of dance, those two well built legs.
Jay earnest Oct 2018
the beautiful boy


the beautiful boy,           now.   a memory
wagging a tail

forced to sell
   weeds
                                  listening to a stale
noise,

        in a tin can.


I HAVE a 2-day pass to Wendy-

fork
with. no expectation.


BREASTfeeding.  the. nine-month old in a hot bench whilst people walk bye.
      facetattooos- and excitacy with the ****** firmly plugged in.

drifting away
driftin away

I am dying

I am dying literally, I.    feel the pulse fading.
1 2. 3.  4 5. 6 7. 8



pidgeon jesus,  Muhammad ****** my ***, buddha lives in LA,

cut out my heart;
ventricles
blues
.

I have no one

I have. NO ONE.       NO ******* ONE.
BUT A SVEN in Norway;

blackened by the bite of a hand.


recluse,
no more.  forgotten. my last name is EARNest

I DONT' care anymore.  idon't care anymore. I gave up,
I moved. 50 degrees south,

I'm drunk,
I'm high. I 'm a nobody

just someone who wanted to ******* LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE


I feel the breeze

— The End —