alas my long lost friend
Alas..

(Deep breath)

I have not forgotten our conversations that streched in the darkness of our room and grabbed dreams as hot as the sun and as bright as the nebula of dying stars

I have not forgotten your comfort/advice within my addiction
I spent 365 days with you and gained insight every single second spent in your Presence

(Chuckles subtely)

Your parlance was weak but mine wasn't so we balanced out perfectly
Your profanity was like honey to my ears and mine, well, mine was incrypted silently within my laughters with you

I remember the day we spoke freely about our ambitions and hopes in life it was so beautiful that today my friend those words vaguely linger on my tongue as we were also young so our minds were like young hungry wolves out for their first hunt.
I loved it

We spoke until our sleep was in sync it intertwined so well that we sleept at the exact same time I was grateful that we were both silent/light sleepers as every sound through the window you valiantly probed me to open was of nature and the moon illuminated our room like our own star we rarely left our curtains open but when we did -- it was beautiful
I sometimes stayed awake to see the clock hit mid night just to soak it -- as my mind roamed free after mid night

Oh my friend..

How I miss our immature scenerios of how the world would end and the lustful rants about the girls/women we wish to devour on this god forsaken planet we call earth
The way we spoke about music as if we were there in the studios of the vast array of artists that we spoke about
Frank ocean
The Script
Flying Lotus
Red Hot Chili Peppers
And many others...
We talked and talked and talked and talked until the duty prefects grew slim of our horiddly loud rants you would take the blame, that way we both knew we wouldn't be punished as you were considered a fragment of gold for the school and I merely silver and silver is not nearly better then gold

(Chuckles wholely)

Our laughs coexisted like a melody only mozart could compose our inside jokes made people sick of our ability to laugh in complete silence by merely communicating through eye contact it was delightful/enlightening

Oh and your mind
You underestimated it to be honest. You were top twenty in the grade but your mind did not reflect this. For some reason I was the only one who could unlock the intellectual matter out of your vanity case (brain)
It made me feel special as at the time I was a minority and your companionship had me placed on a golden pedestal
I probed you about the effects of marijuana that you seemed so eager to explore but in my mind a dark shadow over my words grew as I knew the effect of marijuana on the first timer I knew I had to be in the prescence and high enough to not be consumed by it as marijuana was embedded in my vescular codes
...
There were times when I was high for a whole week and you didn't notice.
My eyes were blood shot but I'd usually use the excuse of being tired and you'd accept it quite humbly
Your friends became my friends
My friends became your friends
I feel like we started a revolution
You and I
As our peers did not coexist the way we made them to at the time
I did not tell you this as you would've probably thought I was high again

Oh my friend

You left nothing but nostalgia in my mind and lingering words/phrases you fervenly adored/abused, some even of my own
I embraced them.
I remember the hate I had for the smell of chlorine you brought into the room
I surpased that by remembering how bad you were at arguing as you walked in with a subtle smile and complete exhaustion in your eyes

I cowered into my books during study afraid to ask you for help as your focus could have intimidated einstein. I kept my doses of silence, lucky for me I had the privledge of listening to music so therefore my sanity was restored each 45 minute spent being confused

After study you became an animal probing me to join your adventures of havoc in the house I sometimes questioned how you were in the top 20 for academics but this was answered by remembering the greatest Philosophers that weren't sane at all not even in the little.

I was proud to call you my friend. Your pronounication of my nickname was incredible -- part of the reason to how it was infected into everyones vocabulary

Oh my friend whos name I shall not mention

I miss our vague chants of songs we merely heard in movies. Chants that made people feel vulnerible as your voice was completely horrid and mine exceptionaly melodic, the blend created a fine dose of old whisky
It was beautiful

(Sighs heavily)

But now my friend you are merely a fragment of nostalgia, a poem, a memory -- a lost memory
We are 365 days distant now and your reclusive persona makes me fear that our paths might not intertwine again.

Alas my old friend
Alas my lost friend

----

Leks

I twist my words sometimes
and lie about the movement of my arms in between different air
so that you can run away from me
so that you can leave without me uttering a speech
of go away
perhaps I never want to see you again
but knowing women such as myself that is never the issue
until I make you up for who you are and accept the nature of things

my time is reluctant and I cant sustain the water that comes from the sky
as I cannot sustain not wanting whatever sounds come out of your vocal chords around me
neither now nor tommorow
you are now a ghost and I know nothing of you
or where you come from
a shadowy lake
dinged grass

simply transparent as anything else that is there
but then again really isnt in sight
and my eyes become narrow like that of a mans
and I see nothing on my sides
simply holding me back from things I must do
just leave
leave

rid me of your eerie changes in forecast
and let my swampy land stay swamp
it would be better than drying up killing my fishes
and then reginerting once more
only to leave disintigrated at the end of the day
when in the beginging I thought I would flourish again


come dig your leaves from my palms
my hands dont move the same anymore when your dead life
and elements that have fallen off your mind and from what is before me
a fragile body of someone who just wants to somehow
reverse ignorant wisedom into curiosity and care

I have streched too far and touched too many different souls
to know that this ridicule is not worth anything more than
well nothing,
honestly I can say that much
which is nothing, so maybe I should just not speak

prosecuters who have been in the soles of the backbone of your situations and such
prove me guilty of selfish acts
that I betake to make myself breathe easier
when regardless of what happens
when I breathe harder
my breath shall only pond down on you
like a thousand needles falling through water


pin drops
pin drops
painfully

smile at me
tell me you will be okay
and so that I may depart

The moon yawned and streched and spread its limbs out on the soft clouds floating along the darkening indigo night sky and slowly it fell asleep and began to dream and its dreams seeped into the clouds and the clouds grew heavy and dark and began to weep tears of joys while watching the illustrations and paintings form from the colors and lines of the visions of the sleeping moon and the tears turned into rain and the rain fell to the earth and formed puddles here and there and rivers flowed with delight and lakes danced in the wind as the rain recited the dreams of the moon and the rain continued to fall as the moon began to snore and its dreams turned to tales of love and beauty and the clouds poured these dreams down upon the first and oldest tree in the land of forgotten places tucked away in the secret mountains of eternity and the water of these dreams gently washed over the branches and the leaves and then gathered and pooled and started to shape into a dream of their own and within this enchanted tale the curves of your smile were drawn and the color of your eyes born and the seductive shapes that covered your bones were made and your heart was made from the words forged from the furnace and fire of the true stories of beauty and love as told by the moon while sleeping amongst the clouds