And Californa's trees
Burned
Before Colorado's
But summer ended
By October
And with
Autumn
Rain came
To cool the trees
And drop fog
On forest
And outside of Texas
Window panes
Wrapping around shrub
Branches
In yellowed
Thickened
Air.

My life before I met you was just simply dull. I never ever felt any emotions. I couldnt feel happiness, I couldnt feel sadness. I didnt even have any emotional relationships with people. Like I knew I should love my family or some friends. And I said I did. I just couldnt feel it. It was just a word for me and I thougt that's normal because I never knew anything other.
Everything changed when I met you. And by everything I mean my whole life, soul,thinking,feeling,talking,moving,dreaming,breathing. There wasnt a single part of my existence that didnt change.
I started feeling things Ive never felt before.
I started seeing things Ive never seen before.

When I was with you I often realized that I feel like Im in a movie. In a really, really beautiful movie.
Everytime we went to bed I never fell asleep before you and then I just stared at your beautiful face sleeping and your beautiful chest moving while you were breathing.
And every morning I woke up earlier just to look at you a bit longer.
When we were waiting for the tram in streets of your beautiful hometown Prague, I looked at you again and I remember my thoughts till this day. "How ******* lucky am I to call you mine. How did I ever deserve you? And also how lucky I am that you are also a lesbian."

Since I met you... I strated crying.
I never really cried before.
Do you remember the first time you played the guitar for me? How my tears just started falling?
I dont really know why but I think that was the moment I fell in love with you. Cause I didnt know that feeling and I didnt know how to express or let out my emotions, so I just started crying.
And then usually tears started falling while your body was joined with mine... or when we were saying goodbye...

It feels like my life just started when I met you.

And that was how I knew I was madly, madly in love with you girl.

hey, are you awake?
if you're not, don't bother texting me back in the morning, but if you are I could really use someone to talk to.
I just watched a movie about a girl who was into older men. she was ***** as a little girl, that was her reasoning behind it. the main character reminded me of well, me, and I strated to wonder if i too was sexually abused when I was younger and have no memory of it.
I'm sad.
I don't actually know why I'm talking to you, i mean let's be honest you hate me.
additionally, you think I bring these things upon myself. you couldn't care less about my emotional state of mind because you just assume I'm messed up because of the drugs and the *** and maybe you're right.
I don't care.
I'm still sad.
I'm drunk, too.
I miss you though.
cigarettes don't give me the warmth that you did, no matter how many I smoke.
again, I don't know why I'm talking to you, and I don't quite know where I'm going with this either.
maybe I want you to know that I still exist, or maybe I want you to - I don't know what I want you to do.
I need your wisdom, that's it.
No, I really just need you.
My brother left today.
I cried a lot, and the house feels different without you.
I meant him. the house feels different without him.
you know when you brain takes over your fingers and types what it's really trying to say? I guess that's what I was really trying to say.
I'm sorry to have been such a bother. but it feels nice to tell these things to someone, even if it's to the man who broke my heart.

I feel so lonely inside
I feel like my prays have been denied
Im in a room that is dark
Then all of a sudden there was a spark
I went over to were the spark was
And there i saw a rose
That was red like it was bleeding,
Then a boy appeared and was leading
Me to a cell.
Where he chanined me, theb i fell
I tried to break free from the chain
But that did not work only caused pain
I then went and laid on a bed
I heard something roll
And then i said
"Oh god please
Take my soul."
Then that little boy came back and strated to tease
Me, that he got
Food that i could not have.
I knew rhat the food was really hot.
I felt like a bird that is in a cage,
The boy gave me a book and told me to read
So i opened it and started to read it but,
I felt like i was readinf the same page
Over and over again. Then my hands started to bleed
So i prayed for someone to care
But i know that my prayer
Would not come true.
For i am lonely.

He had the power to make me whole
He had the strength to push me together
we had the chance to be everything
but he broke me
Instead of falling in love with me
he just made me fall
he lied to me
he told me he loved me
I believed him until the day
he broke up with me
then I strated breaking
I realized he was my everything
he was everything
nothing was better
he loved me but now i am falling
I'm broken because he broke me

Today, when I saw you,
My soul started to beat again,
And my heart strated to breath,
My nerves danced, and I, just started to radiate.

And when you said my name,
And grabbed my hand,
All of my fears sank in peace,
All of my emotions bloomed.

I think I will love you forever.