Ta-ta Norma Drainpipe
Though I never shagged you at all
You ****** the rhythm to ******* yourself
While those around you ate crow
They schlepped out of the cleavage
And they ******* into your crumpet
They ******* you on the rowing machine
And they copulated you **** your three *****

And it seems to me you tasted your *****
Like a cigarette lighter in the diarrhoea
Never knowing who to stick it out to
When the ooze congeal from the top drawer
And I would have liked to have had carnal knowledge of you
But I was just a twit
Your cigarette lighter exploded spew out long before
Your whiff never blewout

Stiffness was sticky
The gristliest fat part you ever nibbled
Hollywood cobbled together a wizzofrog
And ******* was the corkage you greased
Even when you conked out
Oh the lubricator still molested you
All the skeletons had to jabber
Was that Marilyn was ***** flashy the starkers

Ta-ta Norma Drainpipe
from the virginal wombat in the twenty—second ghetto
Who smells you as meat as above par than scatological
Olé! than frank our Marilyn Monroe

To entertain
means to be starkers
and dance with veils,
to exoticize war
and tremble in
a thousand rhythms.
Bejeweled as a spy,
nevertheless,
don't know why.
Eye of the day,
and a dozen matchlocks
had me inertly settle
upon my knees,
before bending at my waist
to take one last look
at the fiery heavens.

THE POWER OF PRAYER

Top blouse button goes ping!
“Oh! That sort of thing is always happening! ”
Happen again...please!

I CANNOT TELL A LIE!

Ravishing cleavage!
“Are you looking at my *******? ”
“Yes!  Oh yes...oh yes! ”

NATURAL JEWEL

A trickle of sweat
comes to rest between her *******.
Natural jewel!

NEVER VERY GOOD AT  CARDS

Playing Strip Poker.
You fully clothed  &  me
completely...starkers!

THERE MUST BE SOMETHING YOU’RE GOOD AT?

So...playing Strip SnAP!
Huh! Slightly evens things up!
I’m quick  &  you’re ****!

BLISS

A cascade of hair
covers & uncovers where
her lips leave kisses.

STRIKING THE FIRST BLOW.

“So...hello” she smiled.
“It didn’t look like you would
say hello, so...hello! ”

ARE YOU TRYING TO TELL ME SOMETHING I SHOULD ALREADY KNOW?

Your breast touches my
arm by mistake on purpose.
You smile – all knowing.

SAINT VALENTINE’S DAY IN THE POSH RESTAURANT.

As I order                  wine
your foot teases my   crotch.
“Yes...the...Char...don...ay! ”

SHE’S GOT IT ALL *******!

“Can you tie my lace? ”
she plonks her foot in my lap
parts her legs & laughs.

HARD NOT TO BE.

Ever so gently
you brush against me softly.
“Oh! You’re so – hard! ”

PUBLIC MENACE

Walking down the road
you stop...adjust stocking top
as cyclist crashes.

SURPRISE...SURPRISE!

Clothes lie scattered on
each successive step of stairs:
You...naked - in bed!

SUNLIGHT DAZZLES THE WATER

Cradling our bodies
the boat rocks us back & forth
...gently...making...love.

HERE'S LOOKING AT YOU KID!

Watch Casablanca
cry: tell you you're my girl...you
tell me I'm your guy!

HOW CAN WE TELL THE DANCER FROM THE DANCE?

She dances naked
dressed only in the sound of
wind chimes & bracelets.

Husband & Wife Team

Party! And your ****
pops out...and I...pop it back!
I'm handy like that.

HAVING TEXT

“X X X “ she texts
& yes...he feels it as if
they were real kisses.

HOPE SHE REMEMBERED TO WASH HER HANDS

She, prim as a pin:
emerges from the LADIES
skirt tucked in knickers.


THE PAPER  RESPONDS TO THE POEM

Writes a poem for me
about my naked body
on my bare bottom.

BECOMING MUSIC

You in a tutu
and...little else: my eyes wild
dancing with delight.

MY FAVOURITE FLAVOUR

Edible knickers?
Tasty! My favourite flavour..?
Mmmmmmm...you... you... you...you!

NOW, YOU'RE DECENT AGAIN!

Sewing button on..
your head near my crotch - you bite
the thread... job well done!

IN THE COLOURING BOOK OF OUR LOVE

Black painted toenails
beetles on a red carpet
white lake of spilt milk
YOU’LL CATCH  YOUR DEATH...HERE PUT ON THIS!

Caught in that shower
you dry my male attire
as I wear your dress.

INDEX RISES

Your fluffy white towel
falls: reveals all your assets!
Stock market goes up!

WHEREFOR ART THOU?

Lost in reverie
she combs her beautiful hair
remembering...him!

YOU MUST REMEMBER THIS?

How can I forget..?
Kisses taste of Chardonnay
Camel cigarettes.

SOME LIKE IT HOT!

Boil kettle for tea
make love instead...as water
turns itself to steam!

ESSENTIAL FOOTWEAR

Knickers & fishnets
stuffed into the left hand shoe
****/lighter in the right

HOT STUFF! '

The height of summer!
You in that little blue dress
...my ice cream melting!

REQUIRED VIEWING

I watch you watching
T.V. Soap(in the ****) .
Me... just glued...to you!

PRIVATE MEMBERS ONLY!

Oh! An *******
(kind of thing that grows on you)                        
Handy thing to have!

DIRECTIONS: YOU ARE HERE!

Go straight on into
your dreams: turn right at Love &
find yourself...in me.

How To Decide What To Get Him For A Present

She remembers how
he stroked...kissed.. her thighs: & buys
- the most shocking tie!

I Knew You'd Find It In The Bath! -

Note in a bottle
tells you: 'I'm shipwrecked in bed
...come & rescue me! '

EMPTY ENVELOPE

Eh? What can it mean?
Next letter explains: ' Sorry...
forgotl to put...letter in!

INTOXICATION

You pour me a drink
from your mouth to my mouth &
I am drunk on you.

IN LOVE WITH THE RAIN

The umbrellas merge
become as one as they fall
in love & puddles

* *

Laughter & chatter
the share the same umbrella
totally in love.

* *

Heads joined at forehead
lovers walking & talking
not noticing...rain.

JAILBREAK

Trapped in fluffy towels
one breast tries to escape but
gets stuffed   back inside.

INDEX RISES!

Your fluffy white towel
falls: reveals all your assets!
Stock market goes up!

KNOWING ME KNOWING YOU

A curtain of hair
hides that knowing look I know
you are giving me!

Coming To A Haiku Near You!

Yes! Appearing on
Brighton pavilion...a kiss
starring me & you!

Death By Telephone

The phone rings & it's:
...not you! Rings again - still not
you! What will I do!

'Gulp! Gulp! Gulp! ' - A Haiku

Naked, she drinks milk
...spills out of mouth...over *******.
She grins: 'Ya want...some? ! '

Ed Sutcliffe said
he saw his cousin
walk from bathroom
to bedroom (not his)

starkers
nigh on
had to push
my eyes back in

the sockets
he added
you muck pig
O’Brien said

you did it
on purpose
so you could
have a gawk

I never did
it was just
one of those things
never in a month

of Sundays
would I have gawked
Sutcliffe said
is she worth

the gawking?
you asked
o to be sure she is
O’Brien said

would Eddie here
be gawking
at a titless wonder?
no to be sure

she’s got to be worth
the eye strain
but not my cousin
Sutcliffe said

I’d not be waiting
outside the bathroom
to gawk at her
coming out

so say you Succy
you lecherous bronco
I think I saw her once
you said

hasn’t she got
white blonde hair
like yourself
and more curves

than the figure eight?
no
Sutcliffe said
that’s not her

that’s my mother
you’ve seen
you don’t gawk
your mother

do you Eddie?  
O’Brien said
what you take me for
of course not

Sutcliffe said
he’s just joking
with you
you said

nothing meant
Sutcliffe walked ahead
in a strop
four letter words

coming over
his thin shoulder
poor old Eddie
you sure take

the *****
out of him
you said
ah it’s nothing

O’Brien said
he’ll get over it
as the bishop
got over the actress

and sure enough
as soon as you all
reached the school gates
Sutcliffe was his old self

wanting a quick drag
on O’Brien’s smoke
thinking all
the old patter
as one huge joke.

Drawn to the privacy of the quiet beach,
And the deafening roar of the waves,
To the mangled shells, and seagull screech,
We surrendered to our bodies, like slaves.

For that seaside was our wild and secret love place,
With our toes we drew hearts in the shale,
A bunch of seaweed she smeared in my face,
I splashed water on her bare bosoms pale.

The sea spray bit cold on our naked skin,
As she teased and taunted so well,
Her magnetic curves how they drew me in,
Like the ocean I did seethe and swell.

Goose bumps crawled on our bodies entwined,
As the harsh wind caressed from the South,
We groped for heat from desires combined,
And the warm saline taste of our mouths.

The moonlight danced high as the sea did ebb,
Our spent bodies now bared to the sky,
The traces of our love play on the rippled sandy bed,
Not even the waves could deny.

We lay starkers on the strand, no madding crowds,
Still flirting in the naughty nip,
Our only company the shadows of the clouds,
And the drone of a distant ship.

Alas ! Our bliss was destined to fade,
Ne'er again to converge in the tide,
The moon no more a ****** to lust displayed,
When mad youths their pleasures not hide.

Memories now so vivid, I could nearly touch,
The tangles in her wild windswept hair,
Or taste those lips that I miss so much,
As across the barren beach I stare.

With the loss of his two greatest rebel heroes,
the evil Absolute enlists the enigmatic Winter
Blonde to find a champion to replace Captain
Confederacy, l'il Dixie & White Lightnin'...

With the aid of her faithful slave Mamma
Jamma, Winter Blonde raises the spirit
of L'il Dixie using the slave's mysterious
art of ancient African Hoodoo!  

Brought to Eerie afterlife, the disembodied
ghost hovers above them, Dixie's spirit flickering
in the shadow of the large fireplace's flames...

At the astonishing sight, Winter Blonde faints,
leaving Jamma alone with the ghost... the spirit
growing stronger as the old slave continues her
jumbled chant of magical African incantations...

Until at last, Mamma Jamma is able to direct
the wild spirit into the suit of 16th century
steel armor standing in the parlor, bringing
the shining metal figure to horrific undead life...
medieval weapons & all!!!

The Confederate Revengers
effectively destroyed; the evil
mastermind known only as
the Absolute devises a plot to
expose the Union spy in their
midst, hoping to prove the
pesky Northerner's undoing...

Summoning Winter Blonde,
Mamma Jamma, the Human
Locomotive & Moonshine to
a secret meeting in the bare
Kave of the ****, the Absolute
spells out his plan to stop the
Union from expanding the
railroad still further west...

"The red man will stand behind
us! But first we must show them
that we can stop the ******
Yankees in their tracks...literally!"

Rechristened The Confederate Crusaders,
the diabolical plot is swiftly set in motion...

Bribing the duplicitous Indian Squaw
White Dove with ample wampum,
Medusa is able to discover the evil plan...

The hyperactive Human Locomotive,
outracing the Iron Horse headed out
to the newly opened western frontier;
as the shining new engine steams
through Indian country, a surprise
attack by a horse-mounted wild Indians
emerges from the surrounding hills...

Armed with long Winchester rifles &
bows & arrows, soon the steaming
locomotive is under assault by the deadly
red savages!!! Medusa, disguised as a
genteel Southern Belle, going to the
caboose she quickly loosens her hoops
& pantaloons to the shock of the car's
frightened passengers & leaps from the
train's railing onto the tracks as the terrified
stoker feeds the belching furnace to speed
through the violent Indian assault...

Seeing herself hopelessly outnumbered,
Medusa has no recourse but to use the
Smaragdine Signet Ring bestowed to the
Gorgon Queen by Hermes Trismesgistus
himself to summon her compatriots
to help her defeat the onrushing red horde!
With the cry of, "3Ms!" at once appears
three of the mightiest warriors drawn from
the Classical Golden Age...

Mithra, ancient mysterious hero who can
single-handedly defeat a herd of charging
bulls with his super hard club that can shatter
every bone with a single blow!!!

Minerva...undefeated warrior goddess
& superlative archer!!!

& of course, the superhuman & blood-
thirsty Minotaur, freed from his labyrinthine
prison!!!

The vintage heroes making short work of
the startled red men...all the while being
watched from the hills by the cowardly
Indian Running Bear...who then sees
coming in a cloud of raised dust the swift
Human Locomotive racing to the Indians'
rescue!!!

Horses thrown through the air by bulging,
muscled arms & terrified Indians dropping
weapons & dashing off on foot... the Human
Locomotive plows through the scattering
red skins to charge the heroes directly!!!

His brawny legs moving too quickly to stop,
the Locomotive finds his face crumpled into
the Minotaur's stone-hard fist...

But also on board the train are Winter Blonde
in her everyday guise of a prim schoolmarm
along with her faithful slave Mamma Jamma...
Mamma mumbling the jumbled incantation
to raise the several spirits of dead Indians, but
as well the animated armored suit now dubbed
The White Knight!!!

Faced with an angry army of the undead,
the 3M's one goal is to ensure the train's safe
passage through the blood-haunted territory...

Realizing Mithra is fighting an empty steel
shell, his deft blows denting but not stopping
the brutish metal monster... until using her
ring of enchanted Emerald, Captain Medusa
succeeds in blasting a hole through the thing's
chest plate, the beast shuddering but unharmed
& tossing her aside to face the next oncoming
hero, the Mighty Mithra who easily smacks the
flailing arms right off the hoodoo spawned hellion...
but the detached steel fists continue to grip at
the Greek hero's bare muscled limbs...

Seeing the Arcadian champion gripped from
all sides, Minotaur & Minerva run to his aid...

Meanwhile, seeing the small bare footprints
appearing in the desert sand making their way
away from the stalled locomotive, its coal
supply exhausted by the feverish stoking of
the frightened train's crew...

Seeing no one, Medusa wondered how to best
an invisible foe until striking upon the idea
of raising a tornado of dust better to view the
figure's outline but when the ground is whipped
up into a whirling cyclone that rises into the air
not only is the female Confederate revealed to be
starkers but the spinning dust comes into contact
with low overhanging clouds -- the sky darkening
only to burst into a torrential desert rainstorm...

The Human Locomotive finding his feet mired
in mud, the Iron Horse remaining perched on a
high plateau beyond the reach of the amazing
runner's tired & weakened lower limbs...

Tuckered & unable to run uphill, the crestfallen
Southern hero slows to a brisk walk while the rain
poured in buckets... soon the unwieldy metal monster
begins to rust in place & become immobile, Mithra
is able to free himself from the ghostly armor's
fingers; the stiff suit rigid and unmoving as a statue...

The Winter Blonde standing wet & naked could do
nothing to shield her body as the ***** rain fell
all around... seeing her reddened embarrassment,
Mamma Jamma leaping from the train ran to cover
her mistress with a thin shawl...

Minerva taking up a red man's fallen bow & a handful
of arrows takes precise aim pierces the evil slave through;
Mamma Jamma collapsing at her naked mistress' feet...

The dead red spirits quenched, return with fading
howls to the red dirt... Winter Blonde taken into
Union custody, her body tarred so that she can no
longer deceive anyone with her absent appearance!!!

The victim

I was in my fifties when women found me desirable
and I became a victim of their lust.
The wife of a friend of mine came in as I came out
of the bathroom starkers.
I'm a moral person, but this was a situation unavoidable
so we ended up in bed until she fainted.
Women talk, I got a call from a woman who had a swimming pool
in the back yard, I drove there, but she wanted more
and more she got until she exhausted fell asleep.
I drove home, and my old girlfriend was outside my house
she was drunk, wanted more wine, I gave it to her, and she demanded
***, happily she fell asleep when she awoke she thought
we had had ***, she had a shower and wanted white wine
before driving home kissing me warmly asked me if she was
good in bed reassured her she was the best.
It was as my *** life had reached a crescendo, a heart surgery
stabilized my emotional life, I should have taken the women
to court, I had only wanted to be friendly
and they used my goodness to their vantage, but it is too late
but I can complain to ME TOO movement

I.
Geo. Wash. monument
replaced by the Me Too
monument; tear down
that huge phallus & fill
in the hole; Gretchen
Carlson Memorial so u
can see under her giant
short skirt; Lady Liberty,
renamed Miss Liberty,
was originally designed
not to be shrouded in a
stola but naked in sandals;

restore Miss Liberty to
her original state would
place a sixty foot ****

green woman in New York
Harbor raising a lit torch
for all to see her ***** for
miles around & when u get
right underneath u can see
the fine detail that went into
casting the perfect snooch;

2.
women casually walking outside
naked, men daring not to say
a thing & suddenly conversations
become about serious things
spoken of in earnest b/c u dare
not ever mention the fact that
the women around u are ***-out
starkers; u just keep ur eyes
to urself, buddy, & we'll all get
along; guys go out naked or in
string thongs; little girls display

smooth li'l meat pockets, babies
get changed easier; **** smells,
***** & ****** everywhere;
******* is a bore; no one
even thinks about *** anymore;
genitals are liberated to tell their
own stories; taking on the qualitas
of individuals rather than mere
anonymous vital appendages;
penises run for office & vaginas
give speeches; the person is just
an attachment; it is the ******
that make life & therefore the laws;

3.
the Supreme Court is filled w/ penises
until the President ****** appoints
snooches & the old ***** shrivel up &
die of ED; girls pop those pink pills
& **** guys in the park w/ no names,
no people, no crime; two genitals meet

& it's not a mystery; it's an open PDA;
******, ***** & novels; pasties for
treasured fun; vintage pin-ups treated
                                         like fine-art;
in the future women will rule & walk
naked in complete control at first flying
the re-appropriated ******* (reversed)
& then its precursor the three-legged
tryskelion; symbol of the Gorgon Race

Bribing the duplicitous Indian Squaw
White Dove with ample wampum,
Medusa is able to discover the evil plan...

The hyperactive Human Locomotive,
outracing the Iron Horse headed out
to the newly opened western frontier;
as the shining new engine steams
through Indian country, a surprise
attack by a horse-mounted wild Indians
emerges from the surrounding hills...

Armed with long Winchester rifles &
bows & arrows, soon the steaming
locomotive is under assault by the deadly
red savages!!! Medusa, disguised as a
genteel Southern Belle, going to the
caboose she quickly loosens her hoops
& pantaloons to the shock of the car's
frightened passengers & leaps from the
train's railing onto the tracks as the terrified
stoker feeds the belching furnace to speed
through the violent Indian assault...

Seeing herself hopelessly outnumbered,
Medusa has no recourse but to use the
Smaragdine Ring to summon compatriots
to help her defeat the onrushing red horde!
With cry of, "3M!" at once appears before
three of the mightiest warriors drawn from
the Classical Golden Age...

Mithra, ancient mysterious hero who can
single-handedly defeat a herd of angry bulls!!!
Minerva...undefeated warrior goddess!!!
& of course, the superhuman & blood-
thirsty Minotaur, freed from his labyrinthine
prison!!!

The vintage heroes making short work of
the startled red men...all the while being
watched from the hills by the cowardly
Indian Running Bear...who then sees
coming in a cloud of raised dust the swift
Human Locomotive racing to the Indians'
rescue!!!

Horses thrown through the air by bulging,
muscled arms & terrified Indians dropping
weapons & dashing off on foot... the Human
Locomotive plows through the scattering
red skins to charge the heroes directly!!!

His brawny legs moving too quickly to stop,
the Locomotive finds his face crumpled into
the Minotaur's stone-hard fist...

But also on board the train are Winter Blonde
in her everyday guise of a prim schoolmarm
along with her faithful slave Mamma Jamma...
Mamma mumbling the jumbled incantation
to raise the several spirits of dead Indians, but
as well the animated armored suit now dubbed
The White Knight!!!

Faced with an angry army of the undead,
the 3M's one goal is to ensure the train's safe
passage through the blood-haunted territory...

Realizing she's fighting an empty steel suit,
her deft blows denting but not stopping the
brutish metal monster... until using the ring
of enchanted Emerald, she succeeds in
punching a hole straight through, the beast
shuddering but unharmed tosses her aside
to face the next oncoming hero, the Mighty
Mithra, who easily tears the flailing arms
right off the hoodoo spawned creature... but
the detached steel fists continue to grip at
the Greek hero's bare muscled limbs...

Seeing the Arcadian champion gripped from
all sides, Minotaur & Minerva run to his aid...

Meanwhile, seeing the small bare footprints
appearing in the desert sand making their way
away from the stalled locomotive, its coal
supply exhausted by the feverish stoking of
the frightened train's crew...

Seeing no one, Medusa wondered how to best
an invisible foe until striking upon the idea
of raising a tornado of dust better to view the
figure's outline but when the ground is whipped
up into a whirling cyclone that rises into the air
not only is the female Confederate revealed to be
starkers but the spinning dust comes into contact
with low overhanging clouds -- the sky darkening
only to burst into a torrential desert rainstorm...

The Human Locomotive finding his feet mired
in mud, the Iron Horse remaining perched on a
high plateau beyond the reach of the amazing
runner's tired & weakened lower limbs...

Tuckered & unable to run uphill, the crestfallen
Southern hero slows to a brisk walk while the rain
poured in buckets... soon the unwieldy metal monster
begins to rust in place & become immobile, Mithra
is able to free himself from the ghostly armor's
fingers; the stiff suit rigid and unmoving as a statue...

The Winter Blonde standing wet & naked could do
nothing to shield her body as the ***** rain fell
all around... seeing her reddened embarrassment,
Mamma Jamma leaping from the train ran to cover
her mistress with a thin shawl...

Minerva taking up a red man's fallen bow & a handful
of arrows takes precise aim pierces the evil slave through;
Mamma Jamma collapsing at her naked mistress' feet...

The dead red spirits quenched, return with fading
howls to the red dirt... Winter Blonde taken into
Union custody, her body tarred so that she can no
longer deceive anyone with her absent appearance!!!